IF/Testing Check-in wk Jan9

[Deleted User]

@Marley629 *has* been a real trooper with the biopsies!

@tamalahoops I haven't told anyone except two close friends.  You already know, I really don't want to have to do ivf, but if it comes to it, I was literally just picturing it to myself this morning... just being able to announce we are ku and have most people not have any clue it was through ivf until we were 100% sure we were comfortable sharing that information.  And that comfort-level would likely be on a case-by-case basis.  And gritting my teeth through the, "see, I told you so, you just had to be patient etc." Type comments.

(Althought if SMiL said something like that, we would have to tell her and FiL, cos that's his son, and she is a very sensitive, kind heart, so as long as mum's the word, we could probably have a right cry about the whole thing, and be closer for it.  Plus if it stopped the well-meaning but super awkward parent/mommy/daddy comments.... that would be great.  Is it bad to say, I'm still mad she didn't let me hold the baby at Christmas? And part of my not wanting to go to this last do over the weekend was not wanting to have to awkwardly wait to take a turn holding our new baby cousin all over again, like a freaking child.)

Right now, not even our moms know what's been going on.  I have been thinking about opening up to MiL, but I am still so scared, because you can't put a cat like that back in the bag.  I wouldn't want it to go any farther than her, so hopefully we can trust her with that.  SiL recently battled cancer, so a big part of me just doesn't want to burden anybody with anything more.  Just the happy pg announcement when the time comes, and then you know, maybe I'd feel comfortable talking about it before the baby arrived, maybe I wouldn't.  I think every person, every family is different.  I think you're incredibly brave for being as open as you already have been. :)

Eta @linzrunz yay for a nice long lp!  :)

mrsdaddario

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 16/14 CD 20

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WTO more like just waiting

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Natural cycle

  

How are things going? Aggravated. I'm pretty sure this is going to turn into an anovulatory cycle. And god only knows how long it's going to last. Last cycle I ovulated on CD 21. I haven't even gotten a positive OPK or any fertile CM. My temps are much lower this cycle than last. All the usual signs of anovulation. I'm just trying to make it to April, when the new insurance kicks in and we can start IVF. I'm feeling super low. 

  

Any questions? Nope.

GTKY: if you could be reincarnated as an animal what would it be?
Probably a raccoon. Adorable, OCD, and spunky with a flare for sass.

laurad75

@kyersten Yep.  That is exactly how I have been feeling.  The waiting game right now is tough because being on bc feels so counter-productive.  I will have been on it for two weeks on Thursday so hopefully I will get the call soon.  I have been trying to use the time to mentally and physically prepare – healthy diet, adjustments to exercise, detoxing, etc. 

@virginiaham IF sucks.

In regards to sharing, we aren't necessarily keeping it a secret but I'm trying to keep some boundaries to avoid all the annoying conversations with people who think they are fertility experts.  I told my mom over the holidays and a few close friends who I feel comfortable sharing with.  

hartmich

@mrsdaddario Hey, we're the same CD. The earliest I've ever ovulated is CD 19 so I'm still waiting for O too. The extra waiting time is just extra annoyance on top of everything else so I feel your pain.

Diagnosis (If you've been): possible PCOS

Cycle/CD: 8/20 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  Waiting for AF for more testing

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Nothing yet

  

How are things going? I'm trying to be patient but I just feel kind of helpless with all this waiting. My OB ran a couple tests, but I had my first consult with an RE yesterday and they want way more blood work done and a CD3 ultrasound. Also, trying to get an SA scheduled for H is proving difficult. They also said they didn't get copies of my records from my OB, even though the OB's office said they did fax them... I hate that we have to use fax still and can't use email which is just so much freaking easier, and they have secure email systems that are probably safer than faxing anyway.

  

Any questions? Nope.

GTKY: if you could be reincarnated as an animal what would it be?
Definitely a dog, my dog does nothing but sleep, eat and play. He's super spoiled.

wabash15

@BusinessWife The IF journey is so personal. We did not tell anyone for a long time.  I think DH was embarassed that we needed help. TW*** That all changed after our loss, it was so devastating to deal with IF, finally end up with a miracle and then loose it. Thats when we began to open up about IF. end TW** we are still not super public but if it comes up I tell the truth (though not usually the gory details). I have met or learned about many others who struggled with IF.  In opening up even cautiously you may find more support out there than  you knew. When your ready to open up you'll know, in the mean time were here for you.

@mrsdaddario  hugs girl. I'm sorry this looks like an an-O cycle. Hang in there, april will be here before you know it.

@hartmich hugs.  When I first went to the RE I didn't totally know what to expect and had my hopes up that we could jump into treatment and not spend 2 cycles doing testing. Sorry your test results didn't get transferred. At least there is a plan in place for testing and you have taken the step to find out what's going on, thats not helpless thats empowered.

bluejeanbabi05

So I could use some advice. My REs office does two IUIs as standard procedure, one at like 18-24 hours and one at 36. It's an extra $500 to do the additional one and I wonder if it's really that much more successful? The nurse on the phone was pretty wishy washy about that. 

If we just do one, they do it at the 36 hour mark which seems scarily long after the trigger to me- what if that misses the mark and we've been saving up DH's S so we haven't even HIO close? On the other hand, if we don't do the extra one and don't get KU, I'm worried I'm going to hate myself for not doing everything possible. 

I don't know what to do

Update- typing all this up made me realize how stupid it is to stress about an extra $500 when if this doesn't work we're spending way more than that on IVF *rolling eyes at myself* this process effing SUCKS

wabash15

@bluejeanbabi05 most RE's only do one IUI at 36hrs post trigger (that is pretty standard timing, so I wouldn't stress it). One other girl here  had an RE do two IUIs (sorry I don't remember who it was).  I guess as long as MFI isn't your issue than it can't hurt, I'm  just not sure how much it helps.  I would think if it made a huge difference than all RE's would do it.  This process does suck, but hopefully its all worth it in the end. hugs 

tamalahoops

@bluejeanbabi05 I really wanted to do 2 iui's because I just figured the more players we can get on the field the better. But we have slight mfi issues so our RE would not do it. I agree though, I haven't looked back on anything in this process and regretted the money spent. Even our failed cycles I felt like were a necessary expense that brought us closer to success. I say if you have the money and there's even a slight chance to improve your success then do it. 

But it does suck. It sucks spending money on something that should be free. I saw a newbie once that was reluctant to spend money on a bbt or opks and all I could think was lol... if you only knew...

hartmich

@bluejeanbabi05 One of the recent grads ( @juliebeannn I hope you don't mind the tag) recently got her BFP with 2 IUIs. Maybe she has some insight on the decision of 1 vs 2.... 

bluejeanbabi05

@tamalahoops @wabash15 @hartmich thank you so much ladies. I agree, I don't regret one cent we've spent on anything fertility related. ESPECIALLY the OPKs because I'm addicted to POAS, that made me laugh @tamalahoops

Two IUIs it is

JuneRoseRuby

Hey ladies, I've been following this group for a while in preparation for my introduction! I had my first appointment with the RE today so I figured it was time to jump in! 

Diagnosis (If you've been): just started testing

Cycle/CD: 13/31

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Starting the gamut of tests this month. I had an US today and I have two ovaries and a uterus, so that's a start. They are appropriate size/shape. The RE gave me a good schedule for the first month. I have to get blood work done, H has to get his SA hopefully this week. Since I should start AF any day now, I will call as soon as she starts and then schedule my STP for CD 4-11-which maybe you gals can help me here, is that what I know as an HSG? He marked next to it "tubes", and talked about making sure they are clear, so I assume STP and HSG are the same? Sorry for any ignorance, I am trying to ask Dr. Google, and he's not cooperating. I'll have a post coital test CD 12-14, then more blood work 6 DPO to test my progesterone. I feel like this month is going to fly! 

  

How are things going? I am happy to start testing and get some answers hopefully or at least something to move this whole getting KTFU process along. 

  

Any questions? Is an STP and HSG the same? *** SEE BELOW

GTKY: if you could be reincarnated as an animal what would it be? Certainly one of my three dogs. Eat sleep poop play love.... yes please. 

To chime in on the publicly discussing IF, I have told some of my friends we started testing, and that we weren't successful but I am pretty limited in who I am telling. I honestly haven't even told my mom. I just don't feel like she would say the things I need/want to hear. I feel like if they find something wrong during testing I can tell her that and it will be concrete and she will then be supportive. 

ETA: I found my answer. Saline Tubal Perfusion.  If I had only read the papers my doc sent home with me before I asked! 

hartmich

@juneroseruby sounds like we are in the same spot in terms of lots of testing etc! I lol'ed at your comment that you have two ovaries and a uterus. I guess that's a good start!

KristoKekerooni

@JuneRoseRuby - Whoooaaaaaa. Your doc is serious. That's awesome. My testing was spread out over several months and it was agonizing. 

JuneRoseRuby

@KristoKekerooni yeah I was surprised at how fast they were doing everything! Waiting one year is torture enough, I can't imagine waiting months to complete testing.  He just wants to do all the testing to see what the results are and to have a plan by the end of this cycle. This doc is rated like number one in my area. Hes super well known and has won all sorts of awards. I saw a picture of him today in his office from when he was on Dr. Oz... so clearly he's a celebrity now.

juliebeannn

*TW - BFP mentioned*

@bluejeanbaby1217 Sorry I'm late to post.  We just got our BFP after doing our second back-to-back IUI cycle.  Our clinic's standard procedure is to do back-to-back IUIs at 18 and 36 hours post trigger.  I've read that there is not much scientific support saying that 2 inseminations have a higher chance of success than just one but something about human nature and psychology, 2 just seems better in our heads than just once.  But, I also found that MOST clinics just do one.  Our insurance covered the cost of my procedures so we never thought twice about it.  But, if cost was a big issue for us, I think I would've been secure enough with the idea of just once.  I wish you guys luck with the IUI!!

TravelingCouple

@JuneRoseRuby Yay to moving forward with testing and that you have a doc who has a great reputation!

[Deleted User]

@JuneRoseRuby that sounds maybe similar to what I had, which was not an hsg, but shg, saline hysterosalpingogram. (Sp?) Anyway, he checked out my ute and tubes and it was in the office with saline instead of in radiology with contrast. GL!  It's scary and exciting at the same time, doing all the testing, but you'll know so much more what your *dealing with once* it's through.  (((Hugs)))

I feel the exact same way about talking to my mom.  Definitely cannot count on her to always say something that would actually help me feel better... unfortunately  :/  it is what it is.

bluejeanbabi05

@juliebeannn thanks for taking the time to post

Peregrine

@bluejeanbabi05 - we've had success at 24 hours with a second IUI at 36 hours.  We've also had 11 cycles in a row with no BFP, so....

If your MFI is good, your RE offers it and you can afford it - I don't think it hurts.  There's very little out there saying it does anything, but mentally, it seems important. 

But in turn, a friend has had success with just one IUI at 24 hours, so that works also.

JuneRoseRuby

@BusinessWife yeah, my conversation with my mom would  go like this: 

me: well we've been trying for a year and we got nothing.
Mom: well your father and I tried for a year before we got pregnant with your brother
me: yeah well a lot has changed since then and getting pregnant is different with all the advances
mom: haha um no I am pretty sure babies are made the same way and it still goes in the same hole
me: yeah  but mom there are apps and test strips and and its more of a science
mom: there is something wrong with this world if you need an app to get pregnant. 

Here is  where I would get pissed and start yelling and then storm off. 

dinosaur

Dirty lurker

@JuneRoseRuby - That is almost word for word the conversation I just had with my mom lol!!!

KristoKekerooni

Saw this linked on a different site and thought maybe someone here would like to see. 

TW- references loss, obviously.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/06/well/family/the-japanese-art-of-grieving-a-miscarriage.html?_r=0 

laurad75

Yay! I finally got an update from my RE's office today.  My nurse has been on maternity leave for the past few months so I have struggled with the covering nurse but now she's back and I am finally making progress.  I originally called to ask if it was okay if I started taking DHEA (I'm reading It Starts With The Egg) in prep for my IVF cycle and when she called back to tell me I could start taking it I also asked if we could talk about next steps.  I ended up booking a bunch of appointments today  (some of which I certainly could have scheduled these past two weeks but no one told me what was going on).  On Thursday I am speaking with a PGS testing counselor over the phone; next Thursday H and I are meeting with the doctor, Sunday the 22nd will be my last bc pill and then I will start stims on CD 2.  They anticipate ER around the second week in February and then - hopefully - a FET in April.  

I also sat down with my boss today to tell him what was going on so it wouldn't look odd if I was in and out of the office and having to schedule days off with little notice and he could not have been more supportive.  Today was a really good day.

wabash15

@laurad75 that is amazing news!! I am so happy you have a schedule going forward!!!!

KristoKekerooni

Also this, if anyone is research REs:
www.fertilityIQ.com

JuneRoseRuby

@laurad75 Hooray for a plan! 

TravelingCouple

I posted this in the daily WTO thread but thought you ladies might also have an answer..

Yesterday I finally remembered to call our RE to get the results of DH morphology from his SA. For whatever reason it wasn't listed in the original report and we'd forgotten to ask about it. The nurse said his result was '2.' She said they like to see 4 or higher.. Is this a percentage or what? She wasn't very helpful. I'm waiting for the RE to call me back. She said that with a number like that, it would change how they do IVF if we end up in that route. She couldn't tell me if it would affect IUI. But what exactly does this mean? Does this affect conceiving without help? 

bluejeanbabi05

@TravelingCouple we've gotten very mixed answers on this question. DH has had two SAs, one at 0% and one at 3-4% (yes to percentage question). Our RE is pretty dismissive of the impact. The thing that will most likely change with IVF is they will for sure do ICSI. I'm doing an IUI now and it hasn't affected that at all. The criteria for morphology is super strict, a lot of doctors think too strict 

ETA: my understanding is morphology is the shape of the sperm. The strict criteria means that to be counted, the sperm has to be absolutely perfect. Not too long or short and no extra heads or tails. Now, it should also say on your SA the reason for the low morphology; or at least it will say if it's because of the extra tails or heads. Ours had none of that so the RE said it was just little imperfections and none of those little imperfections should be a big deal. The extra heads or tails can mean the sperm can't break into the egg, though, and that's where the problem is more serious. Maybe call back and ask that question?

TravelingCouple

@bluejeanbabi05 OK great, thank you. I guess they didn't even deem it necessary enough to list it on the original report. Everything else was normal/not concerning. It makes sense it would impact TTC in the sense that the sperm has to be able to fertilize the egg. I'll follow up and speak with the RE

wabash15

@TravelingCouple I would guess she means %, and I think ideally they want >5% normal but abnormal morphology is not a deal breaker and morphology can change overtime. @rainbowturtles (hey girl!) just got. KTFU without intervention and her DH's SA had100% abnormal morphology. I would talk to your RE but would not stress about it too much

BertieMeetsGertie

Hey, ladies! I just wanted to let you know that I had my endometrial biopsy this morning and it wasn't all that terrible. I will qualify that and note that they didn't have to use a clamp or dialator, otherwise I'm sure it would have hurt a hell of a lot more. I had very intense cramping for about a minute and then it subsided. 

I did have a question that maybe @Marley629 or @laeberge3 could answer. I'm also scheduled for CD3 bloodwork and am wondering now if my next period (should I get one) is going to be wonky because of the bleeding with the biopsy. Did you guys have a fairly normal period after your biopsy? TIA!!

heatherdubrow

@laurad75 Thats so exciting!!! The IVF process is made so much nicer when you finally have a plan! Good luck with everything! 

@BertieMeetsGertie Again, I'm so glad your biopsy went well!

laeberge3

@BertieMeetsGertie Glad that it wasn't too bad! That's about how mine went - that minute was painful, but it subsided afterwards.  After the biopsy, I spotted the remainder of the day, nothing the next, and then had very light red bleeding and/or spotting for probably 3 days after.  I haven't had a period yet since the biopsy, so I can't help there, but I would think it should be relatively normal. 

BertieMeetsGertie

@laeberge3 thanks!! I did bleed more than I thought I would have this morning. I would say it was more like medium flow (for me), but it was only for the first couple of hours. This afternoon is more spotting. 

madspunk

What a week it's been! Work has been crazy and I haven't had time to get back on here until now...

@bluejeanbabi05 Thanks for sharing. All your reasons sound like really good ones. FX you get your BFP soon so you can deliver this year! And I'm sure you won't regret the money spent for the 2 IUIs. I'm really rooting for you this cycle. I'm grappling with the fact that there's a possibility I might go straight from femara/clomid to IVF myself. I had big plans (why do I always try to make big plans?) for how my treatment would progress, and - per usual - it's not going that way.

@hartmich Sorry to hear you're feeling helpless. I love what @wabash15 says - you're getting empowered. Hang in there.

@JuneRoseRuby Welcome to the board and GL on your testing! Laughed out loud at the imagined conversation with your mom. I've had to give a science lesson before to stop someone from telling me not to worry and it would just happen.

bluejeanbabi05

@madspunk ((hugs)) to you, that was really sweet message to wake up to. I've tried to stop making big plans since I discovered that it's not, in fact, practical to time delivery for a certain month (sorry to my teacher mom)

I'm sorry for your failed cycle fx clomid works better, when do you start that? 

My cd12 ultrasound is Tuesday and I'm already a wreck. I swing wildly between being worried I'm not responding (I feel better about that after my HSG yesterday, doc saw some activity already happening in left ovary) and being worried I'll make too many follicles and have to abandon cycle.

No injectables/IUI for me. My RE isn't a fan because he views them as a waste of money for the low chances IUI provides and they have a higher risk for scary number of multiples. I'm not looking to get my own reality show. Lolz

And amen to the science lessons to people. 

madspunk

@bluejeanbabi05 I should be starting Clomid on Tuesday; glad to be moving onto the next cycle! That's great you are already showing some response to the letrozole. Hopefully all goes well and your response is just right. I find monitoring appointments super exciting. Lol. The night before I'm always really excited to find out what is happening (even though thus far it's always been a letdown).