June 2017 Moms

Second Time Moms: Shower/Sprinkle?

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Re: Second Time Moms: Shower/Sprinkle?

  • @harpyogi I agree with above. I actually didn't even attend my showers for DS and I'm not throwing myself, nor attending, anything for this baby. My best friend brought it up and I politely declined. If she surprises me well then there's nothing I can do but I made it clear I don't desire any kind of gathering. We had two beautiful showers for DS, and even though I didn't attend, I was still celebrated.
     I don't understand the invite of "come celebrate my motherhood/new baby but I'm not expecting anything at all!" I think deep down, it is about receiving gifts. Why not just wait until baby and see who so generously brings something for new baby? Throwing a party for yourself 100% appears gift grabby. 
    Me: 29
    DH: 29
    DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
    Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017 
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d450a" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
    MrsCaliRN
  •  I had given birth to my son for my shower and he was in the NICU. I was so out of it, emotional for my shower, however I def wouldn't use that as reason to have one for this baby. 
  • Do what works for your family and circle of friends. You have to know your audience. To my family/friends turning down a celebration would be considered rude. Usually those people want to honor you and the baby and if you say no it can give off the vibe that you think you are "too good" for them to throw an event for you.

    The only thing I agree with is not throwing your own shower/sprinkle. Other than that party on!!

    ~Declare it..Claim it..It will be!!~

    5/9/09
    Lilypie - Personal picture 

    Here We Go Again!!

    CurlyMommy416shmarplerMrsCaliRNroo1381
  • They started this at my work with sprinkling the mom to be. I hate it. I feel like now everyone has to get one and we are throwing one fore 2nd and 3rd kids. Its an office of 40 and no one wants to be that asshole that doesn't buy. 
    neludelu
  • Stankonia was here!  ;)  


    My thoughts exactly while reading this thread. 
  • LOTON01 said:
    They started this at my work with sprinkling the mom to be. I hate it. I feel like now everyone has to get one and we are throwing one fore 2nd and 3rd kids. Its an office of 40 and no one wants to be that asshole that doesn't buy. 
    We are having the same issue at school. It used to only be first babies. Now, grade levels are throwing showers for every baby. It gets to be a lot. I told my team that I don't want a shower. I don't want them paying to put it together, and I don't want everyone else in the school feeling like they have to buy me something. If someone wants to give me something, they will do it on their own without being asked. 
    Married my best friend May 24, 2008
    BFP #1 9/1/11, EDD 5/15/12, Missed M/C at 9w4d, discovered at 11w3d, D&C 11/2/11
    BFP #2 6/20/12, Baby Boy born 3/2/13
    BFP #3 October 2016, EDD 6/11/17
  • Wow thank you. Glad I spent an hour talking to my therapist about how much anxiety showers bring me. I'm not going to do anything if it's considered this tacky and this is type of response, it'll only put me into labor again from the stress. It wasn't even going to be called anything aside of a group of friends hanging out, no invitations or anything. I gained so much strength from giving friends candles to light while in labor and that's all I wanted to do this time. I don't give a shit about gifts, her nursery is already set and packed. Please do not tell me I'm greedy and want gifts. Just in shock, I'm done.
  • The book birthing from within explains a blessingway. Incredibly different than a shower which our culture is so accustomed to being all materialism. I guess that's not widely known. 
  • @harpyogi I agree a blessingway is very different from a baby shower. I would love to attend one or even have one for a second or more times mom. But you still should not host it yourself. Invite your girlfriends over for brunch/snacks and yoga/meditation. Same feel, not focused on you, not asking them to do anything for you.
    harpyogineludeluStankonia2014
  • mombod said:
    @harpyogi I agree a blessingway is very different from a baby shower. I would love to attend one or even have one for a second or more times mom. But you still should not host it yourself. Invite your girlfriends over for brunch/snacks and yoga/meditation. Same feel, not focused on you, not asking them to do anything for you.
    This was exactly what I was going to do. Just a group of girlfriends, mamas already, for one last girls hang and I would be the one giving them someone (a candle, or bead, or something) to acknowledge when I go into labor they are with me. It's all the close friends of mine who I'd be telling I'm in labor anyway (maybe 5 people) and who would want to support me. We'd probably do the whole meditation/chant thing, paint the belly maybe etc being the hippy dippy yoga teacher I am :)
  • @harpyogi, don't run away and be too turned off by our opinions, I like you around here, but I think where the confusion came from is that your first sentence began with desiring another "shower" and speaking to expectations (or none) of gifts.
    I like the explaination and sentiment behind a blessingway, especially if it's just a gathering for your closest ladies for strength and love. You're right that invites or hinting towards it being a shower would send the wrong message. 

    Me: 29
    DH: 29
    DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
    Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017 
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d450a" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • @harpyogi To me this is a very dramatic response.

    Why are you talking to your therapist for an hour about showers being stressful, if you aren't having one? 

    Second, anytime you throw yourself a party or blessingway or whatever it is, it's tacky IMO. I'm sorry different opinions aren't your thing. A blessingway is different than a shower, but still a gathering held for the mother to be. And it can still require people to bring things or spend money.
    Rae1MrsLa3Elyse1384
  • tmrusselltmrussell member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited March 4
    We are not planning on having a shower. But we've been registering on Amazon to keep track of things we need and also for the completion discount. I received a coupon in the mail for $20 gift card if we created a Target registry. So we did last night and the welcome bag has so many goodies in there that I would recommend to all of you. There was a 25% off coupon for paint, $4 off coupon for diapers Pampers that is a Target coupon that you can stack with a manufacturer coupon and a bunch of other good stuff. I love freebies and coupons!
    Yailani23doodleoodle
  • @tmrussell What kind of paint? My target doesn't sell paint - do other targets?
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin' 
  • @tmrussell I went yesterday to my local Target to pick up the welcome goodie bag. They had some pretty neat samples and lots of good coupons. I love me some freebies too!  :D

    DH: 35 | Me: 28
    BFP #1- 07.25.12, EDD: 03.24.13, DD born 03.26.13
    Surprised BFP #2- 02.25.15, EDD: 10/29/15 |*m/c 7w4d, D&C 04.02.2015 
    BFP #3- 01.21.16, EDD: 09.29.26 |*m/c-blighted ovum 2.19.16 8w1d, D&C 03.04.16 
    BFP #4- 05.24.16, EDD: 02.04.17 |*natural m/c-  07.08.16, 9w1d
    BFP #5- 09/25/16, EDD: 06.07.17 GROW
    , BABY, GROW! 

    tmrussell
  • Did the welcome bag come with formula or bottles? Im planning on bf, but I need to get a bottle and formula for our earthquake emergency kit. Don't want to pay for it though. Lol 
  • @Kylieslip24 it came with a bottle. I think the hospital may give you formula samples and my doctors office has them to. I would ask your doctor for a sample. You can also go to one of the formula companies websites and sign up for coupons and they might send you samples. I had about 4 cans of samples last pregnancy.
     They came in handy because I have to supplement. Your breast pump may also come with bottles. The Medela pumps do I believe. It did come with samples of laundry soap, wipes, diapers, lotion, butt paste and lots of coupons.
  • @Kylieslip24 I don't know about the target gift bag, but my Amazon welcome box had a bottle in it if you have Prime and can get that one. I also think I got one free from motherhood maternity during my last pregnancy. I don't think I have ever seen formula samples in a registry gift bag, but you can get some from free by signing up with formula companies like Similac and Enfamil. I think they send them close to the due date you give them. OB and pediatric offices also usually have lots of samples they can give you if you ask. 

    Unsolicited advice: Even if you are planning to breastfeed, I think it is a great idea to have some formula and a couple bottles on hand. I breastfed my daughter without supplementing regularly and we are still going at 16 months, but it made me feel much safer to know that i had that stuff available if i needed it, and it was a lifesaver once or twice when she was tiny and randomly wouldn't latch but was very hungry in the middle of the night. Extreme lactivists would tell you that even having formula on hand will tempt you to use it unnecessarily and interfere with breastfeeding, but I don't believe that. Plus, you need bottles if you are ever going to be away from your baby and want to have someone else give pumped breastmilk. If you are planning to feed on demand, it is tough to predict how much time you might have between feedings in the early days.
    tmrussellAllybiery
  • @Kylieslip24 The Spectra S2 pump comes with two bottles. You can get samples from your pediatrician as well as Enfamil if you sign up with them online. 
  • tmrusselltmrussell member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited March 5


    @GlitterFish I didn't know Target sold paint either... I am going to attempt to post a picture. 

    Edit: picture issues

    GlitterFish
  • MrsLa3MrsLa3 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    @Kylieslip24 if you sign up with similar and Enfamil reward programs they send samples in the mail. Gerber sends coupons, like $5 off. 
    tmrusselldanijo
  • Thanks guys. I had a little emergency box of free formula and nice glass bottles for my dd and just a hand pump. But I never used any of it because I had too much milk
    tmrussell
  • lmudralmudra member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    So it's official, someone is throwing me a shower.  My MIL wanted to do something and I conceded to a simple girls lunch at a restaurant.  Now my aunt wants to throw a shower so her and my MIL are doing it together.  It feels so weird which I told them but they said this time it's different bc I'm pregnant and they want to celebrate my pregnancy.  My kids are my kids regardless how they came to be in my family but I feel bad saying flat out 'no'.  They're so excited for me and that this is the first girl in our family for 37 years.
    CurlyMommy416Kylieslip24
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