question about chemical pregnancy

vlagrl29

hi ladies.  I had my 3rd blood draw yesterday.  nurse called today and told me my numbers lowered a little bit so I'm going to have a chemical pregnancy.  I even dry heaved this morning like I have the last several days.  I'm just so devastated.  I feel its my fault - the HSG or like the time last week I felt like utter shit and had horrible thought but then felt bad about that.  Or the progesterone pills they gave me.  I took 1 a couple days ago and had an allergic reaction.  Heartburn, diarrhea and tingly hands.  Maybe that pill hurt it.  I'm just so confused.  Anyone had a CP before on here?  I'm supposed to be 5 weeks pregnant.

amberruka

I'm so sorry girl...how often are they drawing your hcg? I had one, but I could draw blood in my own office, which I did weekly until hcg was undetectable (for me it was 5 weeks but different for everyone). Chemical or not, a pregnancy is a pregnancy and I'm very sorry for your loss. 

vlagrl29

They checked at the first pregnancy test, last week thursday, and yesterday.  I go again on Friday.  So what can I expect?  Do you just bleed like a period?

amberruka

I think it's different for everyone. For me it was like getting a really bad period. 

PoeMasque

So sorry to hear this  

dont be too hard on yourself, there's nothing you did or could have done to change what happened. 

@amberruka is right, they will monitor your HCG until it's down to 0. Once you stop bleeding you can start trying right away again. 

vlagrl29

I just feel so certain it's because of the HSG. It probably damaged it even though my docs were not concerned about it. I'm so tired. I love you ladies but I just can't track my cycles anymore, I'm over all that stuff. At least I can get pregnant. I'll still hang around here. I need a mental break.

vlagrl29

The radiologist at the HSG called me back today to let me know he spoke to my OB about everything and they said the HSG could not have harmed because the levels were so low on the radiation.  At least that made me feel better.

thistle8677

I'm so sorry @vlagrl29
There are no words to describe the place you are in right now. I've suffered 4 losses in a row and my last was a chemical pg. It was so upsetting to have our hopes set and then to be right back in the same spot grieving once again. 
I'm sending you so much love and support. 
Take care of yourself. Xoxox

justsuzie

@vlagrl29  So sorry to hear about your loss. That sucks.  I've been lurking here for a while. (I'm benched until March following my loss.)  I had a cp in August and then got a bfp in September.  So fx for you if you try again soon.  

vlagrl29

It's weird I actually felt pregnant. I was dry heaving, a couple days I was super hungry, even a sleepless night, smell was very intense, boobs were bigger. Now those symptoms are now going away. I even hated my coffee. I'm just waiting for it to come out. DD found out today. I felt I disappointed her. She took it well but we cried together. 

Mommyamp

@vlagrl29 I just found this thread. I'm so sorry! I just experienced a mc due to cp this past week. It sucks just as much as my regular mc. I'm trying to find comfort in knowing I can start ttc again right away but I'm having trouble staying positive. I hope you are taking care of yourself and getting the break you need. This journey sucks sometimes but I'll praying we get our rainbows!!

vlagrl29

thanks @Mommyamp - I have been feeling much better and my energy has come back.  I've gotten back to my yoga practice and starting goals for yoga and everything else in life right now.  We are are TTC but going with the flow because I need a mental break from it all.