Okay, so now that I've been home a day I have had some time to process what happened during my labor/birth/and immediately after.
At 10:00pm on Friday I was feeling painful contractions, and after weeks of pre labor contractions I figured they would go away in the morning. Come 2:00am when I jump out of bed with the contractions feeling very strong and close together. It was time to go in.
Got to the hospital and went to open the door closest to L&D. Nope, that was locked. The sign on the door said after hours enter through the ER doors, so we slowly start around to the opposite side of the building, stopping when the contractions hit. Find a second door between the one we started at and the ER, with someone sitting behind the desk. DH is trying to get their attention but they ignored us as I'm moaning in the 20 degree weather in my pajamas and flip flops.
When we finally got to L&D we were put in our room and the nurses asked how we were going to deal with the pain, at this point my birth plan is so far out the window I ask for an epidural. When I got it they raised up the bed super high (tall anesthesiologist) and DH was breathing in my face and I just remember telling him his breath stunk and the nurses laughed and found him mints.
My labor after that was extremely easy. It was like part of a movie, everything went great and magical. No pain, watched Elf and Finding Nemo, took a nap, it was great. They ended up breaking my water and found she had a BM. Labored a little more and at noon it was time to push. 40 minutes of pushing and she was nearly here. Dr told me to give one last push, and this is where shit hit the fan.
Steggy came out at 12:41pm, nurses swept her up to clean out her lungs and nose as she cried right away. DH and I cried happy tears that she was here. I was annoyed that they kept trying to hold her up for me to see but I kept saying I couldn't since I wasn't wearing my glasses. The Dr was sewing me up (3rd degree tear) and all I could think was "she is covered in a lot of blood" and more and more nurses/staff came in. Dr asked for more and more gauze packs (4 times they had to get another pack) and this is where my memory is foggy. The last thing I remember is not being able to open my eyes and my DH crying and a nurse's voice comforting him.
I was rushed to OR barely conscious of my surroundings, I remember I had lots of IVs and needles being stuck in me, I remember a blue cover over my face blocking the lights, I remember vomiting.
When I was reunited with DH and Steggy, I didn't know what happened. They told me when I delivered my placenta my blood vessels in my uterus did not close and blood started gushing out (postpartum hemorrhage or PPH). I lost 25% of my blood and had 3 bags of blood pumped in at the OR. They had to put in a "balloon" to stop blood from coming out as well as lots of gauze. Still recovering from that, and OB said it might be at least 3 months until I'm not anemic anymore. Our hospital stay was extremely rough, and I was on IV antibiotics for about 72 hours. I'm glad it was for me and not because of an issue with our daughter.
If you made it through this I give you mad props. I think writing this all out is part of my healing process as I still have moments of deep dark thoughts about the aftermath of the birth.