mil cleaned pacifier in her mouth before giving to baby

shi9014

Hi everyone. I can't sleep because tonight my MIL insisted on cleaning my daughter's pacifier in her mouth before returning it to baby's mouth. Both my husband and I freaked and she goes what, you don't do that and attempted to do it again. I took baby off of her and said well that's not for grandparents to do.  Am I overreacting? I want to tell her in private that these are not her decisions to make. She can be very overbearing and my husband asks that I don't say anything because it will turn into a fight and blown way out of proportion.  Any thoughts?

rbflei

That is weird on so many levels.
But more so, not just oversharing of whatever cold, flu, etc that you can acutely get a kid sick with but also messing with their oral normal flora. SIL is a dentist and was explaining how cavities are sure decreased from brushing but also are affected by the type of bacteria in the normal flora of your mouth and are passed to people in your immediate family. I bet through interactions like the one you just experienced.. 

vintagevix2016

shi9014 said:

Hi everyone. I can't sleep because tonight my MIL insisted on cleaning my daughter's pacifier in her mouth before returning it to baby's mouth. Both my husband and I freaked and she goes what, you don't do that and attempted to do it again. I took baby off of her and said well that's not for grandparents to do.  Am I overreacting? I want to tell her in private that these are not her decisions to make. She can be very overbearing and my husband asks that I don't say anything because it will turn into a fight and blown way out of proportion.  Any thoughts?

That is certainty irritating, right down to her not respecting your wishes when it comes to your LO. I know it only takes one time being exposed to get sick but hopefully your LO will be no worse for the wear and if this sort of thing does happen frequently (her undermining your parenting decisions), then I think a conversation is needed. Better to nip it in the bud early on than having to deal with it years from now. My husband has had to speak to his parents for pushing their advice and opinions on us, as well as ignoring some of our parenting choice (or just challenging them). It isn't a fun conversation but it was necessary.

rlbrooks84

I would not be okay with that! It's not hygienic and just plain gross. It's your child and sometimes you have to lay down the law. If you do it with your first and stand your ground it will make life so much easier if/when you have another baby. I speak from experience and it was painful having to have those conversations and I pissed my mom and mil off a few times but they are my children and we will raise them how we see fit. 

adiaz132003

I used to do it for Preston but would freak if anyone else did it.  

meggyme

adiaz132003 said:

I used to do it for Preston but would freak if anyone else did it.  

Same.

AmberLiz99

adiaz132003 said:

I used to do it for Preston but would freak if anyone else did it.  

Yup. I've done it before, but would not dream of doing it for someone else's kid. 

Lizbeth86

@shi9014 maybe you can find an article online explaining why it's not good for the baby and give it to your mil when you ask her again not to do it. I don't know if it will work but at least it will be more than your opinion vs hers  (which we all agree that you as the mom should win, but she apparently doesn't think so).

Tawny87

Yuck!!! I have seen people do it, I would throat punch somebody if they did it to one of my kids though.

lm45678

I do it to Savannah all the time, but agree that I would've been weirded out if someone else did it

JuneBaby1984

Gross...I feel your pain mine sticks her fingers in his mouth and wiped his face with a dirty napkin when we were out for lunch

splsmama2016

Your husband is in the wrong for not allowing you to say something. Your child is not your mil's child and she has no right to make decisions for DD. I think you have every reason to be upset and I also think you shouldn't have to hold your tongue in the future.