Pregnant after a Loss

Weekend Worries 12/17

Need to vent? Feel free to do so here! 

Re: Weekend Worries 12/17

  • I missed the weekend but I have a vent/worry. Christmas. Is anyone else having trouble getting into it this year? Normally I'm super into Christmas - decorations up early, shopping done, etc. I just can't get into it this year. We put up our tree and outside lights, but honestly we did those when I barely knew I was pregnant.  I've barely started shopping and I haven't put up any of my other decorations. 

    There are a couple of things that I know are causing it. One, I'm scared that something bad is going to happen with this pregnancy that's going to ruin Christmas not just this year but every year. Christmas Day is literally the same day in this pregnancy that I discovered my MMC in my first pregnancy. Also, my first due date was January 4th, so earlier this year I was envisioning a very different Christmas. 

    I also feel like crap physically so that's definitely not helping!
  • Sorry you're not enjoying this Christmas:( With my first MMC, I found out two weeks before Christmas (2014) that the baby stopped growing. I had my DNC the day after Christmas. It sucked big time, but I had my daughter so that totally softens the hurt if only because you have no choice but push on for the child that is here. We were planning on doing a big family pregnancy announcement too, it was all very heartbreaking. 
    The only thing I can suggest is know that you are pregnant now. IF there's the slim chance something were to go wrong with this pregnancy, worrying about it can't stop anything bad from happening so maybe try to surrender to the fact that you have no control over it all and let yourself be happy :) I don't mean to sound cold if I'm coming across that way, but accepting I can't do anything kinda allows me to relax a little. 
    Right now this Christmas is the only Christmas you'll be pregnant with this baby. 
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  • @cpr79. You're not alone. I hadn't done any Christmas shopping until two days ago. I'm not into it. My original due date is two days after Christmas and I am struggling to care about anything else besides that. Like @Bok Bagok I do have something horrible already tied with Christmas and it really is a struggle. 

    But knowing I'm pregnant now, knowing the little one inside me is still going, is helping. I wanted to be pregnant by my due date and I definitely am. So I don't know what to do about the fact that Christmas will never quite be the same, but I'm just trying to get through it and focus on the good. I hope you can do the same. We are pregnant, and fear doesn't mean anything is going to happen to these little ones. 
  • Thank you both for your replies. Sometimes it helps just to know you're not the only one feeling that way. I've really been trying to be more positive and you're right, today we are pregnant. This Christmas we are pregnant. That will always be true. Sometimes I just need to force myself to remember that. Being scared is not going to change anything. 
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