Stupid Stuff People Have Said Now You Are Pregnant

Yiggle09

The list could go on and on so I felt this might be something fun to have as a separate post. I hope it has not been done on here yet as I am horrible at finding things in a specific bmb with search.

This is my second so I haven't gotten too many stupid things but -
"Your so small, you sure your pregnant? Its your second? You should be showing more by four months."
"I don't think your having a girl because your still pretty" (I just have a gut feeling im having a girl no confirmation till 22nd) 

nda_roxybabe

Luckily, nothing too bad yet. I am tired of being asked "how are you feeling" by everyone. all the time. I get if we're friends and you're genuinely curious. Otherwise, ugh.

I also do get annoyed with anything along the lines of "just you wait" or "You'll change your mind on that". I acknowledge that may be 100% true, but I still dont want to hear it.

RainyDays86

My in-laws asked "you know how that happens, right?" which is just a weird thing to say.  It's our second kid, DS will be 2.5 when this one is born which seems like a very reasonable age gap, we're financially stable and able to take care of 2 kids... I mean I know they were just trying to be funny but that response seems more appropriate if it's like your 5th kid or they're super close together (no judgement to moms who have had many kids or have their kids close in age at all!).  Anyway I wanted to respond "yeah, by banging your son!" but just kind of fake laughed and changed the subject.

The only other comments I've gotten were from people in my own family who were just completely baffled that we would be team green.  Like they couldn't understand why we would ever do that.  Nothing insensitive or judgmental, just total shock which surprised me a bit.  It's not that uncommon or weird, I don't think.

LuckyAngie

I love these posts. I haven't gotten anything with this pregnancy because the only person that did make rude comments to me during my last pregnancy....is basically not in my life anymore. But she can see what i'm up to via FB.

The most hurtful comment towards me was during my last pregnancy. She said I had gained so much weight the previous year that if someone had seen me from behind now they wouldn't be able to tell I was pregnant.....I was about 37w pregnant at the time. Thanks, friend. I stress eat, and eat when I'm sad. It took 13 months TTC baby #1.

She also criticized my choice to have my parents watch our son while we worked. Saying that he wouldn't be socialized because he wasn't going to daycare. 

The real kickers were her comments towards my fiance....she insisted he wouldn't be a good father and basically be a lazy POS because all men suck. Saying that if I died during my c-section (gee, thanks) my child was screwed because my finance (men in general) can't raise babies alone. She couldn't have been further from the truth. 

nda_roxybabe

@LuckyAngie Wow! I hope you're not still friends, she sucks. 

Kipperoo

nda_roxybabe said:

@LuckyAngie Wow! I hope you're not still friends, she sucks. 

@LuckyAngie, SERIOUSLY? WTF is wrong with people??

I got a ton of weird comments during my last pregnancy and I'm sure the comments will start rolling in soon.

 So far, the strangest have come from 2 Chinese women on my team. They are so shocked by the way that Americans handle pregnancy--I've heard "you shouldn't be pulling your suitcase! You shouldn't lift more than 5 pounds! You aren't drinking enough water! You look too small--you need to eat more! You should be resting instead of working!" And, hilariously, one of them asked to touch my stomach in hopes it would make her pregnant, while the other is actively avoiding touching my stomach because she has no interest in being pregnant. Pretty sure I'm not getting either one of them pregnant. ;-) 

LuckyAngie

Oh hell no. Not friends anymore. We had a conversation after my son was born and I basically told her she said some unforgivable things to me and I was done.
edit to add: I used to joke to my fiance that I should carry around a notebook when I was with her and write down all the shit she said!! LOL

pshaortao

@LuckyAngie thats horrible! I'm glad she's not in your life anymore outside of fb from the sound of it.

Nothing so far this pregnancy, just tired of the do you want a boy or girl question. It'll be fun to hear either of the following: yay you have both now your family is complete or congrats on two girls, will you try for a boy? 

The last time around there were a couple coworkers who thought it was funny to make comments about waddling or are you sure they're not twins. One of them got fired (for poor work performance and attitude) before I hit third trimester thank goodness.

Yiggle09

@LuckyAngie your a better woman than I am I would have done something horrible to the person. To even infer you may not make it through labor is just not a thought that should be put out into the world. 
@pshaortao I wanna know why people think a boy and a girl make it complete. Someone said this to my friend on FB in september when she had her little girl. What makes having two boys or two girls less than complete. This kinda piggy backs on third child stigma. I actually heard it from a co worker just yesterday. I am hoping for a girl so that I won't always be wondering if I should try again for a girl or if I would have enjoyed raising a girl but I will feel complete with two boys just as Ill feel complete with a boy and girl.

Louise_Belcher

@LuckyAngie Holy crap! That is a sucky friend! Glad you hear you have left her in the dust. 

@Kipperoo That made me laugh at my desk! 

Nothing yet, but last time there was a relentless person who basically told me how big my belly was every Wednesday when I worked in that office. I am happy that I will not have to see her this time around. The most hurtful was from my grandmother who on mothers day said "Well you have gained a lot of weight!" and at my shower said "You cannot get any bigger! Can you?" I thought my mom was gonna kill her both times. I had a good size belly, but from the back you couldn't tell I was pregnant. She was not a nice person to me, so I expected it but it still sucked. 

LuckyAngie

@Louise_Belcher
I always think the most hurtful comments come from family!! I hate when people comment on weight on a pregnant women!

BeachMommy2B

@luckyAngie I can't believe you waited till after your child was born, she would have been dead to me long before that! 

@kipperoo that is so funny about the belly touching! 

I get comments all the time "you still have how long to go", "you look so BIG already", "are you sure there's not two in there".... thanks I'm just a little over 5 feet with a really short torso I get HUGE.... I know this, I don't need reminded. I also have SPD so I can't work out, and I stress eat.... ugh the comments just make me feel even worse! I also swell... with DD I gained over 60+ pounds but had lost about 30 before even leaving the hospital due to fluids. still doesn't give anyone the right to comment about how huge and miserable I look.... 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

I've heard most of what's already been posted.  Basically, I hate people when I'm pregnant.  I'll take any compliment so long as it's not a back-handed one.  Come to think of it, I don't recall many non-backhanded compliments.  The worst for me was once I hit 3rd tri.  Sooo many people at work said, "You're still here?!?" and other "any time now" comments.  I was a week late, jerks.

sls

From a woman who just generally says obnoxious things and that I would very much like to never have to work with again but whose projects I keep getting assigned to: "You've been looking pregnant, so I'm not surprised," when I told her at 11 weeks that I'm expecting. Yes, it's twins and my second pregnancy, and yes, I told everyone early because I felt like I was showing. BUT NO ONE NEEDED TO SAY THAT.

OmegaRose3

Last pregnancy was full of them, but here's what I have going this time:
"You look awful" I wasn't wearing much makeup and I might be multiracial, but I wasn't tan anymore so apparently I look sickly in the winter.

"You're huge" Though I think my EDD may be off, I'm a small person and this is my 2nd baby, of course I look "huge"

"You're carrying low, it must be a boy" Don't know the sex yet, but I just think that's annoying because I have a long torso, I carry low because that's where my uterus is.

"I just don't think you should be having another baby" ...yeah...thanks....

JonesBaby0624

@RainyDays86 isn't that the stupidest thing to say?  I have lost several pregnancies.  I get pregnant easily but have a hard time sustaining the pregnancy.  I've heard that so many times with this pregnancy.  My response, said to them out loud, "yes, and we are apparently damn good at it ".  

Yiggle09

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot the your still here killed me last time I wanted to scream stfu . Yes I'm still here until baby's here because America doesn't seem to care about childbearing women's health

Cubslove12

A little background info... I'm 17 weeks with my first, I can still wear most of my normal pants they're just a little snug, I just feel fat. Unless I told you I was pregnant you wouldn't know (none of my students have guessed) I'm feeling slightly self conscious since I don't look pregnant just fat... my MIL told me the other day "you can tell youre carrying a girl, because boys you just carry in front, where girls you carry all over. That's daughters for you they make you fat..."  

So basically she just told me I look fat!

cclaineDC

People are so weird. I've heard formulaic responses from coworkers-- excitement, is it a boy or a girl (we're team green), what's the due date, how are you feeling (still vommy), then a slew of anecdotes and enthusiastic stories about their own pregnancies and cravings that I just have to grin my way through. One funny one from a 24 y/o guy was "so, do you have two heartbeats now?"

As for family, the most eyebrow-raising comments have come from my father in-law who suddenly expects me to abide by attachment parenting principles and quit work because "women are hurting men's salaries by working and children who go to daycare have social interaction problems." Sorry, but science and the real world says no. I'll be a FTM, but I'm the proud product of a career woman and a stay-at-home dad, and I will do what I please, thankyouverymuch.

My MIL also declared that the baby will be breastfed for at least 2 years. So annoying.

(Edited to fix a typo.)

Hansolosparka

"It's a girl because you're gaining weight all over"

"it's a boy because you're gaining weight all over"

MoshiMoshi7

People can't seem to keep their mouths shut when it comes to pregnant women. Some of these comments are ridiculous! I haven't had anything this time, but last time, I had someone tell me I was "huge". I was only in my second trimester, but I'm only 5'2 and the only place the baby has to go is out. She was a complete stranger in line at a store and said, "you aren't due until December? Good God, you're huge!" Um...I don't comment on your size, bitch, don't comment on mine!

mamatowildones

People suck, have no class, etc. So frustrating!!! Since this is baby 3 and we have 2 boys people are always asking, "are you finally having a girl?" And when I respond that its boy number 3 they immediately ask if we will try agin. Seriously?! What's wrong with people? I get to be surrounded by 4 boys that I adore. My husband my Benjamin my Bradley and my nameless baby. I need a good comeback. 
Plus the comments on "wow are you sure you aren't having twins"? Because of how big my bump is. 

heath313

Because this is my third...and first girl after two boys

"thank God it's a girl!!"

"now you can stop"

"was it planned/a mistake?"

"I just knew this baby had to be a girl, -: a sign from my (recently passed) mother. If it were a boy I would have been so upset."- MIL takes the cake.

what happened to congrats?

Icarriedawatermelon

Mine has to do with the sex of the baby as well.  Because I already have a DD, I was prepared for the "do you hope it's a boy this time" type of comments, or so I thought I was prepared for them. But man, I'm getting so aggravated with practically everyone in my life saying that type of thing. Will my family not be a "perfect" family if I have another girl? Will my husband miss out on having a boy? Will I must have a third baby (NOPE)? These are all the types of things I have been hearing since announcing this pregnancy.

I come from a family of two girls and I am the second child. Does this mean all those questions apply to me and my parents? Did I screw up their "perfect" family by being a girl?  Did my dad miss out on something in life because he never had a son? Is that really how people think/feel? I love having a sister. She is my best friend. I would love to give my DD a sister. I think it can be the best gift I ever give her. 

sls

The fun thing is that being pregnant with #2 & #3, people try to start saying something about the sex and then get all wide-eyed and don't know what to say. "So, do you know the sexes?" "Not until January-ish." "Oh. Well. Three kids, huh? That's... exciting!"

So I'm making people feel uncomfortable on behalf of you ladies. It's a small thing, but I do what I can. You're welcome.

achays11

I haven't gotten any comments half as bad as some of you. One of my co-workers tells me almost daily that I'm showing and no I didn't start have the smallest of bumps until this week, thank you. My family has also made comments about us being Team Green. 

Oh yeah, and DD has called me a whale a couple of times. But she's 2 1/2 so I can't get mad I guess. 

chickyclg

"Are you sure it's only one baby this time?"  I've had 12 ultrasounds so far, I am positive there is only 1 baby in there.

"Did you do fertility this time?" <- just fertility, not treatments, IVF....

"I told you that you would get pregnant as soon as you guys stop trying." Or it could be that I was riding hormones from a failed cycle, got pregnant, had a loss, and then ended up pregnant again off of those hormones.

pshaortao

chickyclg said:

"Did you do fertility this time?" <- just fertility, not treatments, IVF....

DED

hp_momma

My brothers wedding was the end of August, we got pregnant the first week of September. But I've had multiple family members ask me "was this a wedding baby?!" Umm no but maybe I should ask you if you had sex on their wedding weekend? 

sarah0985

LuckyAngie said:

I love these posts. I haven't gotten anything with this pregnancy because the only person that did make rude comments to me during my last pregnancy....is basically not in my life anymore. But she can see what i'm up to via FB.

The most hurtful comment towards me was during my last pregnancy. She said I had gained so much weight the previous year that if someone had seen me from behind now they wouldn't be able to tell I was pregnant.....I was about 37w pregnant at the time. Thanks, friend. I stress eat, and eat when I'm sad. It took 13 months TTC baby #1.

She also criticized my choice to have my parents watch our son while we worked. Saying that he wouldn't be socialized because he wasn't going to daycare. 

The real kickers were her comments towards my fiance....she insisted he wouldn't be a good father and basically be a lazy POS because all men suck. Saying that if I died during my c-section (gee, thanks) my child was screwed because my finance (men in general) can't raise babies alone. She couldn't have been further from the truth. 

What the actual f*ck??? Who says those kinds of things????


i get plenty of team green comments. How will I know how to decorate? How will I buy clothes? Will I dress them in all white? When I decided on a Chicago Cubs/baseball inspired nursery, I was told it better be a boy. Pretty sure I'm 100% female and one of the biggest baseball fanatics I know. Apparently only boys can like baseball I guess

Also when asked if my husband prefers a girl or a boy and I respond that he doesn't have a preference I've been told he's Arab so he prefers it to be a boy. Um, pretty sure I know my husband is Arab and has expressed to me he doesn't care, he just wants a healthy baby. Please don't push stereotypes on my family. 

My extended family doesn't know yet but I'm dreading the comments from One side of my family. They're overall a bit rude and tactless. I'm anticipating plenty of "just you wait" and "your days of ______ (travel, going out, etc) are over now" thank God I literally only need to see them 1 day this whole pregnancy. Living 9,000 miles away occasionally has some benefits

sls

chickyclg said:

"I told you that you would get pregnant as soon as you guys stop trying." Or it could be that I was riding hormones from a failed cycle, got pregnant, had a loss, and then ended up pregnant again off of those hormones.

Ugggghhhh. First of all, getting pregnant while not trying isn't some magical formula that only stupid people refuse to use. And second of all, ANYONE who attempts to insert themselves in someone else's procreation process receives a thousand pounds of my ire. No, it wasn't your solution that got any of us pregnant, thanks and goodnight.

mcvgal

I can't stand the "you just keeping trying for that girl" comments. I have no problem responding that after 2 preemies and 2 losses I just want whatever will stay in the longest. That immediately changes the conversation.

Other stupid comments this time: "I just don't understand how you can not find out the sex, how will you prepare?" (hello I've done it twice before and people used to do it all the time)

"I am so happy for you, hopefully this one sticks. I have a great aunt that just had a baby at 52 years old, so you really aren't that old"

Kipperoo

heath313 said:

"I just knew this baby had to be a girl, -: a sign from my (recently passed) mother. If it were a boy I would have been so upset."- MIL takes the cake.

what happened to congrats?

OMG...I have a similar, horrifying story, not from this pregnancy, but my last. When I told the family it was a boy, my grandmother said "oh, I really needed a girl". WTF?? It's your first great grandchild! So, now I'm pregnant with a girl, she calls me and says "I hear I'm finally getting a girl!"...this is her second great grandchild.

Yiggle09

h&pmomma said:

My brothers wedding was the end of August, we got pregnant the first week of September. But I've had multiple family members ask me "was this a wedding baby?!" Umm no but maybe I should ask you if you had sex on their wedding weekend? 

I had a similar situation with my last. I was finished taking this older woman's xray and she goes your due end of august... must have been a cold night in december. I couldn't stand it I had to say the weather didn't matter we had been trying for 13 months and had had a procedure done to see if I could even have kids and we got pregnant right after that test if you must know.

MTB16

Wow, I really can't even believe some of these comments!!!!

My most hated comments are all about lifestyle changes - both H and I have very long hours, high powered type jobs that we have worked very very hard for, we travel an absolute ton, and would rather eat at nice fancy restaurants every day of the week than make anything at home.  So all of my comments have been: 

"wait until the baby comes!! No more traveling!" - why?  Kids travel all the time, I've seen it with my own eyes thanks.

"You better go to all the restaurants you can now, when the baby comes you'll never go out to a nice meal again" - again why?  All of our friends either take kids who can behave to very swank dinners, or they stay home with a babysitter. 

"You are going to work closer to home/ less hours/ when baby comes?" no, because that's ridiculous. 

Wildflowers and Ferns

I understand the good intentions behind 'enjoy every moment of this special time' and 'sleep while you can', but I've had all-day morning sickness and serious insomnia since a couple days after my BFP and well... I would enjoy sleeping for a solid 6 hours and waking up without gagging a lot more.

mamatowildones

Wow I can't believe some of these people!!!!

MoshiMoshi7

@Wildflowers and Ferns I hated the "sleep while you can" comments with DS. People mean well, but when you're uncomfortable and miserable and not sleeping at all during pregnancy, they just made me bitter.

SparkySunDevil

The other day I was absent-mindedly rubbing my stomach because I have scar tissue in my belly button and it's been hurting. A customer asked me if I'm pregnant. I acknowledged that yes, I am. She asked how far along, I told her 17 weeks. Her eyes got really wide and she said "oh honey, you're gonna be a HOUSE!" Um....thank you?? 

RainyDays86

SparkySunDevil said:

The other day I was absent-mindedly rubbing my stomach because I have scar tissue in my belly button and it's been hurting. A customer asked me if I'm pregnant. I acknowledged that yes, I am. She asked how far along, I told her 17 weeks. Her eyes got really wide and she said "oh honey, you're gonna be a HOUSE!" Um....thank you?? 

WTF?!?!?

onebadmotha

Wow. Reading through these comments in infuriating! I wish I could say I'm surprised, but people are terrible.

The only type of comments I've received so far that have really irked me have been about the baby's sex. I've had a couple of people flat out say "I hope it's a girl!" When I tell them it's a second boy, they look disappointed. We've gotten a few "Well, you'll have to try again now!" Nope, we don't "have to" do anything. A tiny vagina will not make my life any more complete than 2 beautiful, healthy boys.

I am so, so thankful for my son, and for this thus far healthy baby (penis and all), and I fully understand that one healthy child is more than many people are able to have.