Just found out. Could use some support

sgraham281

Hi All,

I went to the ER yesterday because I had severe bleeding and cramping and found out that I had miscarried after being 8 weeks pregnant.  This was my first pregnancy.  The ultrasound showed no heartbeat and I broke down and fell apart right away.  I was prescribed misoprostal today to help pass what's left.  I'm terrified of the pain and bleeding that is to come.  The cramps are almost unbearable right now.  

I also just feel so heartbroken thinking about what was lost and I really don't know how to deal with this pain. I have only told my parents and brother about the pregnancy so I feel really isolated.  I'm not sure if I want to share my story with friends or just deal with it on my own with my husband.  I'm so scared for the next time I try to get pregnant.  I could use any support or words of advice at this moment. Im still trying to come to terms with what's happening and I know it will take time.

sprkls8506

I'm so sorry. We chose to only share with some people. I personally didn't want to hear some people say things like everything happens for a reason or you can just try again. You need to do what's best for you.

Again so sorry you have to go through this. 

justsuzie

The first week was the hardest emotionally for me.  I didn't leave the house and sat around and felt sorry for myself. 2 months later I am not as sad anymore and there are days that go by where I don't obsess over the loss.  

I wish you the best getting through this. 

whitm11785

I found out last week just before an international flight. I was 6 weeks. Sometimes I would feel like I could keep it all together, other times I would be so anxious and worried, and then waves of sadness would flood my body and I would cry, not knowing when it would stop. Six days later, I would say that each day it gets a bit better, but it still sucks. 

I listened to podcasts and for me, it helped to hear other women talk about their experience. I also found this line of cards created for us by someone who went through a miscarriage herself. I don't know if you've seen them yet, but they definitely acknowledge all the shittyness that I was, and still am, feeling.
https://shop.drjessicazucker.com/

Hopefulmommy1980

I am sorry for your loss.  I felt very similar when I had my first loss. With time it does feel some better. I still cry sometimes. I feel like we mourn for a lot of things: the baby, that our bodies betrayed us; a loss of innocence, and that I will always be anxious and worried when I finally get pregnant again. I told some of my friends. Some new I was pregnant some didn't. Sometimes it helped. Sometimes it made me feel more distant. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve

sgraham281

Thank you all.  It helps to know I'm not alone in this.  I wanted to be a mom so badly and it's so hard to see all my friends with their babies and not feel this pang of jealousy for what they have.  I'm already an anxious person and I'm just so nervous about trying again because I really don't think I can go through this pain a second time.  I just feel like I'm living my worst nightmare and I really don't know what to do with myself.  My husband is very supportive but I know he can't fully understand what I'm going through physically and emotionally.  

Wingless00

So sorry for your loss. My loss was nine months ago and although these have been the saddest months of my life and I can you that it gets easier - not easy - but easier with time. I have gotten a lot better at being kind to myself and accepting where I am each day and that has helped. I have also learned how to cope with my anxiety. It's not perfect but it's getting better. Reading the stories of other women who have gone through a miscarriage was very helpful for me, especially when I was feeling isolated. I hope that you find the support you need during this process - on the Bump, by talking with friends, in therapy, at yoga, meditation, whatever works you for. Thinking of you..  

oliveoil-2

So sorry for your loss. It's a tough time. Even though I kept doing all the things I normally do, I feel like I was living in a haze for the first few weeks. For me, being able to talk about it with family/friends who knew what was going on was really helpful. I feel like I am just now starting to feel like myself again (and honestly, I think it as a lot to do with the fact that we're getting ready to TTC again). Sending you hugs and like other posters have said, remember to be good to yourself.

sgraham281

Thanks for all the support  I've started to reach out to a few close friends and coworkers and I feel like it's helped me feel less alone.  I've found that the more I reach out, the more I discover how common this really is and how many women have been where I am right now.

 I'm still having a hard time sleeping and just being alone with my thoughts.  I feel cheated out of an experience that is supposed to be so rewarding.  I still feel like my body betrayed me and I feel powerless.  I'm looking for a grief counselor to help me process all of these thoughts and find a way to move forward and find some sense of peace.