Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

*TW* preparing to miscarry

Hi everyone, I'm not sure what's okay to post here and to be completely honest I haven't lurked much on this board but was hoping for some insight and advice for my situation. If anything below is not allowed on this board, I do apologize.

At the moment I am still pregnant but we had our first US a few days ago and saw an empty gestational sac. My doctor was partially hopeful but at the same time, starting to prepare me for bad news. I had some blood work done to see if my levels would double, and unfortunately I just learned this morning that they barely rose at all, let alone doubled. So my pregnancy is abnormal and I will likely miscarry soon. 

This is my first time being pregnant (we fortunately got pregnant quick), and everything was going smoothly until about a week ago -- week 7 -- where I sort of felt not pregnant anymore. I felt pretty normal actually, like my energy had suddenly increased. I wasn't achy or moody and I certainly had a moment of fear where I thought... what if this is something bad? At the US, which was just regularly scheduled after I found out I was pregnant, I was in a near panic state, and my heart dropped when we didn't see anything on the screen. It was kind of like I already knew something was wrong. Waiting for the labs to come back these past days was difficult, and part of me wanted to be so hopeful and positive, but again, I knew something was wrong. I had done a really good job tracking my ovulation and knew I wasn't too early as my doctor suggested. I even had a really awful dream last night where I miscarried, and sure enough this morning I got the bad news. My doctor did schedule a follow up US which is next Wed, so I am still going to that, though I honestly am not sure what the point is really. It will be good though to talk to her and hear her advice for the near future. She did mention to me the option of a D&C but I think I prefer to decline that and just let nature take its course.

We were waiting until Thanksgiving to share with our families, so fortunately not many people know the situation right now. I am devastated and scared. How long will it be until I miscarry? Will I know when it's happening or will I go to the bathroom one day to find a bunch of blood? How long does it last if I'm around 8 weeks pregnant? I still have pregnancy symptoms like bad skin and sore breasts, does that go away gradually?

And I guess my biggest question, when can I start trying again?

Thank you for all your help. Again, I'm sorry if any of my post is not allowed here.
Me: 33 DH: 34
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17   <3  DD1 born 12/2/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18 <3  DD2 born 5/16/19

Re: *TW* preparing to miscarry

  • So sorry. We just went through a similar situation. They said maybe my dates were off. I knew they couldn't be THAT off.

    We went for an ultrasound at 8wks. They told me I was measuring a little over 5 wks. I went back for another ultrasound at 9 wks. Oddly everything grew but no heartbeat. I didn't get that. He gave me another wk to let my body do things on its own. I spotted for over a wk then right before our last check in appt I started really bleeding. Oddly it was mostly at nite. Days weren't horrible. Night was horrible. Cramps and clots. I think people have lots of diff experiences but I found it to be terrible. I had a d and c today and feel oddly calm. I can't wait to actually sleep tonight. I am still so sad but feel relieved that I can move on...in a way. He said nothing for a few days. Then we could try again...I'm calling again to confirm all of this.

    I'm so sorry. It is so difficult.  :/
  • Also with the d and c he said he would send out everything to be tested. He thinks it was prob just chromosomal and even said we may not really learn anything. I hope I never have to do this again but I think I would opt for the d and c. I just hated not knowing when it might happen.
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  • Sorry you are here with us.  Like you, I went in for my 8 week ultrasound for them to find an empty sac measuring 6 weeks with a yolk.  I was tracking ovulation and knew that my dates were right.  The nurses and the tech said that I probably just ovulated later than I thought.  I also felt the same way as you did when they scheduled me for a follow up u/s next week.  

    When my mc was confirmed a couple of weeks later, the np did an internal exam and said that my cervix was already opening up.  Of course, she could not tell me when my body would mc naturally.  I decided to take miso so I could at least control when.  

    When to start trying depends on the practitioner. I was told as soon as I stop bleeding and wait one cycle after my HCG levels go down to 0.  I guess it is personal preference and personal circumstances?  

    @sprkls8506  I went from empty sac to a fetal pole measuring 5 weeks, 6 days with a slow heart rate.  I was supposed to be 9 weeks. When my mc was confirmed a week later (they scheduled a follow up u/s to check on the heart rate) I asked why it still grew.  I was told that even though there were probably abnormalities, there can still be growth, slow albeit but growth.  I also had a hard time wrapping my brain around that
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18

  • I am sorry for your loss. I had a d&c so can't provide any advise about miscarrying naturally. I am sorry that you are going through this
  • I am so sorry for your loss. My situation is identical to yours and I just found out yesterday that I had an empty sac at 9 weeks. My first miscarriage I ended up with severe cramping and heavy bleeding almost simultaneously so you will most likely know when it happens. My doctor told me that it could take days or weeks for it to happen, but everyone is different. 

  • I'm so sorry to see all of these losses. We were 12 weeks 5 days waiting for our 1st ultrasound. Everything seemed normal, still felt pregnant. I started spotting then bleeding very heavy. When we went for an emergency ultrasound found just an empty sac, no bubba. Kinda felt like my heart
  • thank you everyone for sharing, and I'm very sorry about your losses
    Me: 33 DH: 34
    Married: Oct 2015
    TTC #1: Sept 2016
    BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
    BFP: 3/24/17   <3  DD1 born 12/2/17
    TTC #2: July 2018
    BFP: 8/26/18 <3  DD2 born 5/16/19

  • @peachy13 so sorry for your loss. We found out that our baby had no heartbeat on our first ultrasound at 8w5d (it seems like it had just stopped beating because the tech told me the fetus was measuring 8w5d). At first I wanted to wait and miscarry naturally but my NP was concerned because my hcg levels were so high and my body didn't seem to realize anything was wrong so she thought the bleeding would be very heavy and painful. We ended up having a second ultrasound at 10w to verify everything and since I still was showing no signs of miscarrying, we decided to have a D&E and I'm really glad I did because I don't know how long it would've taken otherwise. 

    As far as pregnancy symptoms, mine did go away gradually. First I noticed my breasts weren't as tender, then they got smaller, my face cleared (I had perioral dermatitis when I got pregnant), etc... I just got AF for the first time a few days ago (sounds weird but very excited to see my body working normally again). It happened 30 days after my D&E. It is a different process for everyone but our NP said it was okay to start trying again after I got my first period so that's were we're at now.

    Sending you warm thoughts and hugs as you go through this.
    BFP #1 9/2/16, MMC @ 8w5d, D&E 10/20/16
    BFP #2 12/17/16, EDD 8/26/17
    L born at 35+6 on 7/28/17 <3
  • I'm sorry you're going through this. I miscarried at almost 11 weeks and opted for the D&C because my body wasn't letting go of the pregnancy. I can't give much insight on how it feels to miscarry naturally, but even after my surgery I had heavy bleeding, clotting, and cramping for about a week. 

    Everyone is different. 

    I am sending lots of love and prayers your way! 
  • @peachy13 I responded earlier but the bump deleted my post. I was in the July board with you and went in last week to see a baby on the ultrasound with a heartbeat but measuring more than a week behind. I had been spotting which was why I had asked to be seen. Well Monday I began to miscarry. It was a lot of bleeding and passing of a lot of clots and tissue. For me the cramping came later. 
    Not sure about the symptom part because with this pregnancy and my first my symptoms were minimal. 
    So sorry to see you on here.

  • Oh I'm so sorry @peachy13. I think I remember you from TTGP. Man, your story is just so similar to mine (the nightmare, the feeling of "knowing" something was wrong but not wanting to be right, the panic right before u/s), and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I opted for the D&C and felt good about my choice. It had been a few weeks since growth had stopped, but my body didn't recognize the miscarriage. D&C was pain free. Usually, they tell you you can start trying after one cycle. That's really mostly for dating purposes, so some people opt to start trying right away. 
    TTC since 8/7/16 
    BFP 9/13/16
    MMC 10/18/16 
    D&C 10/20/16
  • I had a miscarriage on 12/01. I was 9w4d pregnant, and even had my 8 week ultrasound and we heard the heartbeat and everything. I thought everything was fine until I started feeling crampy 11/30. It was more painful than the implantation cramping I felt at around week 5-6, but LESS painful than my regular period, so I thought it was totally normal. I called my OB on the 2nd day of cramping and was told to take Tylenol. I did that and felt better but started spotting that second day. Within a few minutes of spotting, I got up to take a phone call (the perinatal office to schedule my 12 week ultrasound, ironically) and that's when the heavy bleeding started. I called my OB to see if I could be seen but at 4pm they said the doc had gone home for the day. (so angry). I went to ER and they did an ultrasound and could not find a heartbeat. I went to the obgyn the next morning and opted to do D&C because my body was not getting rid of it on its own.... the fetus was still in tact. I did a D&C to just 'get it over with' and I couldn't stand the thought of WAITING to have my body expel it. I had cervical scar tissue from a cryofreezing I had done a decade ago, and my obgyn said I was not dilated at all, so I opted for D&C. I did not want to take a pill to induce cramping and pain, I'd rather be knocked out and let the doc take care of everything. I had the D&C on tuesday 12/6 and was told to take Methylergonovine to 'shrink my uterus back to normal shape'. It does cause cramping but I am also taking ibuprofen. The pill is only taken for 48 hours so I'll be done with it this afternoon. We will have the sample tested and hopefully get some answers in a few weeks. I just want to move on. I couldn't possibly sit in my house another day knowing there was still an in tact fetus in me, and the baby was not living. The hardest part about all this is that we did IVF and got pregnant on our first try. We also did 3 cycles of letrozole and had 2 failed IUIs. So it just hurts a little extra when I think back at EVERYTHING we went through physically, emotionally, and monetarily, just for a miscarriage to happen. I even had a dream a few days or even a week before that I was bleeding heavily as if I got my period. Was this a premonition? I am extremely angry and beside myself, but I still have this tiny bit of hope in the bottom of my broken heart. I have to keep going. I have to stay positive. There's just nothing else for me to do but keep moving forward.
    Me: 35 DOR, low AMH = 0.694, and fibroids
    DH: 41 
    Married 10/25/2014 / TTC since 05/2015
    1st IUI 05/05/16 Letrozole 7.5 mg CD 3-11 + Ovidrel = BFN
    2nd cycle on Letrozole 7.5 mg CD 3-11 + TI = BFN
    3rd cycle on Letrozole but did our 2nd IUI on 07/01/16. 10 mg CD 3-11 + Ovidrel = BFN
    Onto IVF! Started Lupron on 09/24. Added Gonal F and hcg injections 09/26...... Trigger 10/07. EggRetrieval 10/09. Starting PIO, Estrace, and Medrol 10/10/16. Transferred 2 "strong/beautiful" embryos 10/14/16. Beta 10/28/16 = 998 mIU/mL = BFP with one baby, but miscarried at 9w5d.
    D&C on 12/06/17 and started taking BCPs 01/10/17 for the next IVF Cycle, which officially began stims on 02/18/17.
    Fast Forward: we got 4 fertilized embryos from that cycle. Transferred one fresh, but it did not stick, so we have 3 frozen embryos currently. Went in to the fertility clinic in July to talk about a FET of one of those three frozen embryos, but a new fibroid was discovered, and I was not cleared to do the transfer until I had fibroid removal surgery.
    08/11/17 had a mini-laparotomy / myomectomy to remove 6 fibroids, largest sized were the size of golf-balls! Once we were cleared to go about our normal lives (sex!) I got pregnant NATURALLY but it was a chemical pregnancy. The very next month we had another BFP and here we are now with a baby on the way! A TOTAL AND COMPLETE MIRACLE!
    Watch our YouTube Channel Vlog Here!

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