Pregnant after a Loss

Weekend Worries (10/28)

Let's hear em! No matter how ridiculous they sound in your head, share what's worrying your PGAL mind here, judgement free. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend! 

Re: Weekend Worries (10/28)

  • I'm actually not too worried about baby this week. Partly because I just had an appointment and I scheduled a bonus gender ultrasound next week (they cost less than I thought so I decided to go ahead!). 

    But of course as excited as I am to see baby, I'm also nervous. I'm glad I've only got five more days to wait, but ultrasounds do make me nervous. I'm afraid I'll see something wrong. 

    I've also for the first time really thought about the future this week. I'm still not convinced I'll meet this baby but I'm more hopeful than I was. So now aside from worrying that baby is healthy, I'm worried about getting PPD like I did after my mc. I'm worried about becoming a mom in a city without any family nearby and few friends. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way because motherhood is what I've wanted and fought for and gone through hell for. Ugh. 
  • MimoCaMimoCa member
    edited October 2016
    @HGRich FX all your fears will melt away next week at the ultrasound!

    Edited to add tag
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  • @HGRich so many layers of emotions and worries, right?! All completely normal and valid. Know what though? You'll do it and you'll make it out the other side- becoming a mother gives you strength and skills you never knew you had. And although it's a messy ride, it's such a beautiful experience. You get by day by day.  And since you know about PPD and what that looks like for you you and your doctor can have a plan in place before hand. I have an anxiety disorder and I'm off my meds now and was when I was pregnant with DD too. Hard to be off meds with all this extra worry too over the pregnancy. I was upfront with my doctor and said I need to go back on my meds right after birth, period.  She agreed and I was able to start them the night DD was born. So I encourage you to talk to your doctor early and often about your concerns so if it does happen again you're ready with your plan. And ask for help when needed- we don't have family in town either so we reached out to friends and out of town family when needed- at first we didn't want to bother anyone but then I realized they wanted to help and we needed the help sometimes. It was hard for me to realize it was ok to accept help though. 

    Will be yhinking about you at your ultrasound next week!!
  • Thank you @MimoCa!

    And thank you @1inthehopper. You're right. And I know the PPD was made much worse by the grief. I hope that the victory of carrying a child to term and holding my baby will take some of the edge off of it. But I will of course be talking to the doctor about it. 

    Thank you especially for your encouragement about motherhood. I've not allowed myself to think about it much but I hope that becoming a mother will give me a lot of courage and fearlessness and perhaps even fulfillment. And I know really that my mother and my in laws would come help at the drop of a hat, even from three hours away. That helps too. I just grew up myself with both sets of grandparents in town and spent a lot of time with them. I struggle to think my kids won't have that. 
  • MimoCaMimoCa member
    edited October 2016
    @HGRich Honestly, as a kid who grew up in a city where both parents were not originally from, I remember being so excited when we got to spend time and stay over with my grandparents. I even always spent the summer with my grandma who lived overseas. It always felt like a big adventure and a great treat and my grandmother always made a big deal of it too. I never wanted to come home because grandma saw me so little compared to my cousins, i was spoiled big time haha. It was pretty awesome and I bet that will be the case for your kids too so you don't have to worry!

    Edited for typos
  • @hgrich i hope your next ultrasound helps to bring the joy this baby flooding in.

    my concern which I'm sure you have all had is just waiting to hear bad news, that the baby's heart beat is gone. most days I'm in terror waiting to start bleeding or not feeling "pregnant" like I did the day before. We have an ultrasound Monday the 31st and it can't come soon enough. I've been pretty sick with nausea the past two weeks but today I feel ok, much better then I have been and that scares me so badly. 
    My background for those who don't know: I'm currently 7w3d, 1st mc at 12 w, 2nd mc at 4 w

  • Will be thinking of you Monday, @ssnova
  • @ssnova if it helps, my nausea went away around 7.5 weeks and came back in 9.5 weeks. I was terrified too, but it was just a brief reprieve before it got worse! Thinking of you. Keep us posted. 
  • I have had a ton of anxiety this weekend. I noticed a very small amount of blood when wiping yesterday, so I've basically convinced myself I've lost the baby. I have my first ultrasound on Tuesday, so at least I'll know either way soon. The waiting is so brutal
  • @hmhierholzer I'm sorry. That's always scary. I would think if you're spotting you could call first thing Monday and ask to be seen. Thinking of you. 
  • @HGRich thanks for responding! I am going to call in the morning, but they told me Tuesday was the earliest date they had open. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can get in tomorrow and that everything is fine. I had a few times I spotted with my daughter as well, but my mind always goes to the worst place since my first pregnancy resulted in a loss.
  • @hmhierholzer I don't blame you! I've found that my doc can wiggle me in somewhere if needed so maybe yours can too. I had the same problem with spotting in weeks 5-7 and they got me in after I finally called after the third time I'd spotted. Turned out to be nothing I guess. Still scary. Hope your doc works with you too. 
  • I've been worried about time spent in a hot tub this weekend.  At the time I didn't think it was risky, the water was warm but not hot, and I kept my upper half out of the water, but now it's one more thing to be anxious about.  I'm trying to let it go as worrying won't change anything.  Now I'm off to get a flu shot required by work, and of course I'm worried about that.  It never ends!

  • @lilyaster it really doesn't. As far as I know if you got too hot you'd feel overheated. I don't know. I like scalding hot showers and worry about that too. I've also got the flu shot coming up and am also worried! Ugh. 
  • hi ladies i just wanted to check in and give a update* our appointment went great strong heart beat!!! and we got to hear it!! i still have the clot so i will be going in every 2 weeks until its gone, which should help ease my mine. thank you all for the support and advice and i wish you all happy and healthy babies!
  • Yay! Thanks for the update @ssnova! So good to hear. Glad doctors will have you in every couple of weeks. Hope the days between each appointment fly by for you. 

    @hmhierholzer let us know how your appt went today! 
  • Yay for great news, @ssnova !
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