Weekend Worries 10/21

1inthehopper

Let's hear them! Here's our safe place to talk about what is worrying our PGAL minds this weekend. 

HGRich

All these will sound ridiculous so I'm glad this is a judgement free zone. My worries are a little smaller than they have been in the first trimester but still bothering me. 

I've been trying to exercise and I'm feeling aches in places that remind me of the cramps I had for my mc. But I literally listened to the heartbeat today, and I'm aching all over, not just there. So rationally I know I'm fine, I just hate anything that gives me flashbacks of any kind. I also had some bleeding after sex this week that did the same thing. Rationally I know it's normal, but still made me panic for a second. 

I'm also starting to feel concerns now that I'm past my loss milestone and starting to believe this baby may actually happen, that now it's time to freak out about whether the baby is healthy. I didn't get any genetic testing done. So I have to wait five more weeks for the anatomy scan. 

Also super hoping I get some flutters early. I know some FTMs don't feel anything until 18 weeks or even later. But I'm hoping for 16 or so! 

1inthehopper

@HGRich I've noticed I'm pretty achy in general now that I'm pregnant too, even though I've been working out consistently before preg and now less but still 3-4 x/week.  Especially achy if I take 2 rest days in a row.  Have you tried swimming at all or water aerobics? The water is really soothing to a lot of people. 

I worry about if baby is healthy too- I keep thinking I'm over 35 this time, progesterone was 13 before started the supplements...and on and on my worrying mind goes.  I've had to just tell myself out loud to let some of it go because I'm going to make myself sick from the stress and that's not good for baby either.  It's so hard though. 

In happier news, with DD I felt the first flutters at 15 weeks even though I was a FTM! It felt like a tiny flick inside.  At first I thought no way that's possible but then that feeling became more regular. 

1inthehopper

And totally understandable to panic at the sight of blood no matter how little or the cause! 

Bok Bagok

@hgrich I know what you mean about flashbacks. With my last loss there was a week between when we found out there was no heartbeat and when I had the D&C, and during that time I remembered having a very specific type of cramp. Well of course with this pregnancy I started to have that same type of weird cramp and my PGAL brain went full steam ahead and I wound myself into a total panic. Of course it was nothing, just some regular pregnancy cramps. I use to think I really "knew" my body and you hear so much about a mothers instinct, and I'm not discrediting that there is a mothers instinct. BUT when you are experiencing anxiety, I think it over powers everything else during those moments of fear. Basically what I've learned is at this point I really can't trust my "instincts" because they are so skewed with anxiety. 

I hear ya about now worrying about the babies health. When your brain is finally able to say "ok well I can't worry about ABC anymore" It's just a matter of time before it finds XYZ to stress over!

When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn't for sure feel her til I was 20 weeks. However, I'm sure I was feeling her sooner but didn't recognize it. Because at the 20 week mark the kicks were strong enough for my husband to also feel them. 
This time around I've been feeling the baby every so often from the 16 mark, maybe a bit sooner.
 Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

amwangel

I felt my first baby the day before 16 weeks - right after I peed, so I think I he was like "ahhh, more room!" The second time I could feel him KICK front the outside at 16w 2d! This time I'm almost 17 weeks and havent felt as much certain movement. But I found out yesterday I have anterior placenta this time, so it might take longer. My worries are many, but I don't want to list them out and scare anyone since I had a later loss. I used to be a really laid back pregnant person but now I'm the COMPLETE opposite. I know how much can go wrong so I'm always thinking it's happening to me!

HGRich

Thanks ladies. Well it's nice to know there's a chance I may feel baby earlier. And I agree, @Bok Bagok I'm a pretty logical person and pretty intuitive about my body but none of that seems to matter when you're PGAL. Something DH is having a hard time understanding. 

@1inthehopper I haven't tried swimming yet. I'm trying to find a place that's close and inexpensive or free. I'm also not a fan of public pools but looking into a pool at a gym or health club. 

Anyway thank you. Always good to know I'm not alone. 

LAMCH1980

@1inthehopper, I hear you on the AMA worries. I didn't add those to my pile of worries last time when I was 33, but now that I'll be 37 when I deliver it's added a new set of concerns. Boo!

1inthehopper

My worry since yesterday has been this strange random shooting pain inside my vagina. Way tmi I know, sorry!! I feel really irritated down there I think from the progesterone suppositories so I don't know if that's it or combo of my constipation, hemmoroids and the progesterone? I'm a hot mess right now... I've heard of lightening crotch (btw I hate that word!) but don't remember it in 1st tri with DD?? It only happened a couple times yesterday and once today....if it keeps up I'll call OB's office to ask about it- the type of call that makes me sound crazy of course... 

HGRich

@1inthehopper if it helps, I've had those since about 7 weeks. And since I didn't have them with my loss pregnancy I took them as a good sign. Haha! They're pretty painful and I'll get them for a second or so each, in groups of 6-10 occurrences, and then they'll got away. Probably five times a week. I'm sorry you're also suffering hemmoroids too! I've had those too. Ugh!

1inthehopper

Thanks @HGRich !