Birth Plans & Labor Fears

peachesnbean

Hi ladies! I am pretty sure there is possibly already a birth plan thread somewhere in here, but I figured we are further along and are probably seriously thinking about everything and getting into details now or SOON. Anyone want to share their plans? Also, any big fears? I am going to humbly put myself out there and would love to help dispel (or validate with support!) any fears you might have. Note: I *am* a doula and I *may* (okay, probably) suggest a doula- so grain of salt. Also, not trying to be, like, holier than thou or anything. I am working through some fears myself and it helps me to talk it out. If this is all just too much I will try to delete or close the thread.

cruffino

@peachesnbean
thank you for posting this! i've been thinking about it alot. my ideal would be to have a home birth. i'm not a fan of hospitals (i've had 3 previous hospital stays for surgeries) and don't consider my birth a "medical" event. that said my DH is really afraid of something going wrong at home. 

right now i see a midwife practice who deliver exclusively in a hospital about 5 minutes from home, but i've been thinking about transferring to a practice that delivers in a birth center about 35 minutes away from home. i need to check if my insurance covers them. 

i'm not afraid of birth or pain, and i would like no interventions. i tend to think my body and the baby know what to do and i should trust that. but i'm realistic that at 39 yrs old, who knows how my body may act? i realize that i can't control what will happen and that i need to be zen and welcome the experience however it may unfold. 

LilyASF42

My first birth was actually as smooth as one could hope for and I'm hoping for a similar experience this time.  I'm not worrying too much because of that.  However, in the back of my mind I also keep thinking that this pregnancy hasn't gone like my first one and I hope this time the labor isn't harder!!  :-)  My plans are pretty simple, labor at home as much as I can (but not too much, showed up to the hospital last time 10 cm dilated and the second go is usually faster!), hospital birth (I think it'll all go smooth but I like the safety net), no one in the room except my husband (and medical staff of course), no IV if I can get away with it (depending on strep b), no epidural.  But really we'll just have to see as things move along.

peachesnbean

@cruffino - that's a really good attitude to have. Re: the birth center and insurance- sometimes insurance won't cover it up front, but will re-reimburse you for a birth center (sometimes a home birth too). The birth center will be knowledgeable about that, typically. In my opinion there isn't much different between a birth center & a home birth. How far away is the hospital from the birth center? If it is 5 minutes from your home that may be able to help your H's fears.    

My kiddos were both delivered by a CNM at a hospital and the experiences were amazing! I've thought about a home birth/ birthing center this go around but because my insurance covers them and I was so happy with how everything went I don't see a good reason to switch. 

Does your hospital allow water births? Or have a tub for laboring?

scifichick09

I honestly don't really have a plan. I want to go med free and basically plan to just go with the flow at the time. I'd prefer not to have an IV, but I'll take it if they insist and no one is allowed in but DH. People around me who have already had babies keep trying to shove the idea of an epidural down my throat, a few even dismissing me when I tell them I don't want one and just saying "Oh, you'll change your mind"....so, me being as stubborn as I am, that is just making me want to go med free no matter what just to prove a point lol.

Fear: I'm terrified of an episiotomy. Hoping I can just tear naturally.

peachesnbean

LilyASF42 said:

My first birth was actually as smooth as one could hope for and I'm hoping for a similar experience this time.  I'm not worrying too much because of that.  However, in the back of my mind I also keep thinking that this pregnancy hasn't gone like my first one and I hope this time the labor isn't harder!!  :-)  My plans are pretty simple, labor at home as much as I can (but not too much, showed up to the hospital last time 10 cm dilated and the second go is usually faster!), hospital birth (I think it'll all go smooth but I like the safety net), no one in the room except my husband (and medical staff of course), no IV if I can get away with it (depending on strep b), no epidural.  But really we'll just have to see as things move along.

This is pretty much me, too! I am also worried about precipitous birth. DD1 was 8 hours, DD2 was 4. This LO coming in the winter, us living 20 minutes or so from the hospital in good weather, and the general adjustment/realization of labor I worry about having her in the car or waiting room! LOL 

LilyASF42

scifichick09 said:

I honestly don't really have a plan. I want to go med free and basically plan to just go with the flow at the time. I'd prefer not to have an IV, but I'll take it if they insist and no one is allowed in but DH. People around me who have already had babies keep trying to shove the idea of an epidural down my throat, a few even dismissing me when I tell them I don't want one and just saying "Oh, you'll change your mind"....so, me being as stubborn as I am, that is just making me want to go med free no matter what just to prove a point lol.

Fear: I'm terrified of an episiotomy. Hoping I can just tear naturally.

Honestly, I never had a moment were I felt I needed the epidural.  I mean, it didn't tickle, but it wasn't unbearable :-)  I think I had some Tylenol afterwards and that was about it.  Having said that, every person and every labor is different so you never know.  Just go with the flow and what you know you can handle :-)

peachesnbean

@scifichick09 - Episiotomies are super rare these days! I've actually seen a doc who was really intervention happy chuckle at one of my clients when she said she didn't want one because even she didn't do them. Ask your provider about Evening Primrose Oil when it gets closer to the time. 

As far as negative Nancys- BTDT! Ugh people can be such a-holes. I, myself, have a very low threshold for pain and a ton of anxiety so everyone was like "psh- you're totes getting an epidural". EV-ER-Y-ONE.  But guess what bishes? I didn't. I just went with it. Listened to my MW about positioning and breathing and focus, kept myself hydrated and moving and it was fine. Manageable. I *did* have an IV because I requested max dose of Zofran due to, what I think, is Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. I do not want to throw up in labor because once my body starts it almost always takes medical intervention to stop. However, most of the time, vomiting in labor is not only a good sign but it is doing good work pushing baby down and only happens 1/2x.

LilyASF42

peachesnbean said:

LilyASF42 said:

My first birth was actually as smooth as one could hope for and I'm hoping for a similar experience this time.  I'm not worrying too much because of that.  However, in the back of my mind I also keep thinking that this pregnancy hasn't gone like my first one and I hope this time the labor isn't harder!!  :-)  My plans are pretty simple, labor at home as much as I can (but not too much, showed up to the hospital last time 10 cm dilated and the second go is usually faster!), hospital birth (I think it'll all go smooth but I like the safety net), no one in the room except my husband (and medical staff of course), no IV if I can get away with it (depending on strep b), no epidural.  But really we'll just have to see as things move along.

This is pretty much me, too! I am also worried about precipitous birth. DD1 was 8 hours, DD2 was 4. This LO coming in the winter, us living 20 minutes or so from the hospital in good weather, and the general adjustment/realization of labor I worry about having her in the car or waiting room! LOL 

The fact that we'll be in the middle of a New England winter is making me a bit nervous :-D  Not too much, but enough.  We are about 20 minutes from the hospital and the SUV can handle a lot, but you know, in the middle of all that labor focus you don't want to be worried about a blizzard as well :-)

I never felt a single contraction last time until that morning at 6 am, labored all day at home, never got the consistent contraction they say to wait for before going to the hospital (I think it's like every 5 min for an hour or something like that?).  Finally, around 5 pm, I was just too nervous to go into the evening without at least having some medical person check me out and say "your crazy, go home, you're not ready yet".  So we get ready to go to the hospital and BAM! my water breaks :-D  Get to the hospital close to 6 pm, they check me out "Uhhh....you're 10 cm dilated, let's get you to the delivery room"  One hour later we have a baby :-)

So this time around I'll probably get to the hospital a touch earlier because I don't want to cut it quite that close again, but it was pretty good timing :-)  I just don't want to risk having the kid in the parking lot like a friend of mine did :-D

peachesnbean

LilyASF42 said:

scifichick09 said:

I honestly don't really have a plan. I want to go med free and basically plan to just go with the flow at the time. I'd prefer not to have an IV, but I'll take it if they insist and no one is allowed in but DH. People around me who have already had babies keep trying to shove the idea of an epidural down my throat, a few even dismissing me when I tell them I don't want one and just saying "Oh, you'll change your mind"....so, me being as stubborn as I am, that is just making me want to go med free no matter what just to prove a point lol.

Fear: I'm terrified of an episiotomy. Hoping I can just tear naturally.

Honestly, I never had a moment were I felt I needed the epidural.  I mean, it didn't tickle, but it wasn't unbearable :-)  I think I had some Tylenol afterwards and that was about it.  Having said that, every person and every labor is different so you never know.  Just go with the flow and what you know you can handle :-)

My mantra was "this too shall pass, this too shall pass". I asked for the epi 2x with DD1 but I had a ton of back labor. My team didn't jump the gun and my pro of a midwife waited for my cxn to be over and she said, "that's not what you wanted, are you sure that is what you want to do?" and I would say no. Having an excellent and trustworthy birth team is worth its weight in gold, people.

scifichick09

Thanks for all that info and advice @peachesnbean! That's was super helpful and encouraging. I will def ask my doctor about the Evening Primrose Oil.

poofwok

Due to some complications (i was also a little traumatized by the 6 month process of recovery and tests that had to be done) with my first delivery, my OB and I have concluded that a c-section is the best choice for me this time around. Obviously, a c-section also poses risks as it is a major surgery but we're both confident in this decision. 

I guess my fear is that there could be complications with baby or me. I'm positive all will turn out fine but the thought sometimes rears its ugly head!

cruffino

@peachesnbean - i'm glad to hear you had a good experience in the hospital. i find that i'm actually more fearful of being in a hospital and the potential interventions and demands on me than i am of the birth itself!

we are 5 minutes from the hospital, which is great, but they don't have birthing tubs. its a pretty standard place. the birthing center, which is about 35 minutes from home, has the tubs and that is a big plus for me. also, the birthing center is affiliated with a hospital and has access to NICU is necessary so i feel it has the best of both worlds. 

jlellis603

I am happy to see this thread! Because I'm a FTM and terrified of labor haha. My pain threshold falls somewhere on the low spectrum and I am terrified of all things medical like IV's and giant needles/shots.

I don't have much of a birth plan - Labor at home as long as I can (since it's a 45 minute drive to the hospital and I do not want to get sent home), I would like an epidural so hopefully that will be an option, no one in the room but my fiancé, I would like him to cut the cord and give the first bath if it all possible, skin to skin right after. I really don't know what else to include because I haven't done this before and I have no idea what I am doing so any suggestions are welcome and I will for sure be checking here often!

peachesnbean

concreteangell said:

Due to some complications (i was also a little traumatized by the 6 month process of recovery and tests that had to be done) with my first delivery, my OB and I have concluded that a c-section is the best choice for me this time around. Obviously, a c-section also poses risks as it is a major surgery but we're both confident in this decision. 

I guess my fear is that there could be complications with baby or me. I'm positive all will turn out fine but the thought sometimes rears its ugly head!

That's always a fear for moms, first time, second time, twelfth time! Doesn't matter. But it looks like you are dealing with it well. I am on board (not that it matters one iota) with you and your OB about a repeat cesarean birth. Anxiety can be so crippling and harmful in this whole process, especially with your previous experience, I bet that comfort of control is awesome. Look up "natural c-section" or "gentle c-section" if you haven't already. There are a lot of benefits of choosing a RCS and if you're controlling the date/time there are plenty of options to customize it for your comfort.

Xstatic3333

I'm planning for an unmedicated birth in a hospital-attached birth center. There is only one bed, however, so I may end up in the regular hospital setting. If I do, my biggest wish is the ability to move around (which my midwives and hospital support). I don't have my heart set on a tub, but a tub and showers are available to me in either setting. In the hospital, we would just have to take turns with the tub, and the hospital does over 20 births a day so that can get sticky (literally! lol). I'll be attended by a CNM from my practice, and they've all been awesome so far.

I'm most attracted to an unmedicated birth because of the potential of a quicker recovery for me. I know that my baby will be fine no matter how he gets out of me, so my concerns about interventions are coming more from a selfish place than a place of guilt or anything like that. I'm working hard on trying to stay mentally flexible and open to interventions that scare me. My head knows that even tricky births usually end up fine and that a healthy baby is most important, but my heart needs to catch up a bit. It all feels overwhelming sometimes. The pain itself doesn't especially worry me. I am going to do the Hypnobabies home study to prepare. I figure that this practice will give me skills that will help me relax even if my birth does end up involving an induction and/or c-section.

My biggest fear was pressure to induce based on measuring large, but I think @peachesnbean may have seriously just put that to bed with her response to me in the randoms thread! We weren't going to pursue a doula due to cost, but we may have the opportunity to work with one free of charge (a colleague who likes to do a couple of births a year for friends to keep her certification active) and will definitely be taking her up on that generous offer. We're still hammering out the details but I really hope it works out!

feelingjovani

Thanks for starting this!  I would love to have an unmedicated birth but am also scared of not being able to take the pain.  I've been alternating seeing a MW and OB but I really would rather deliver with the MW.  One of the things I'm really terrified of is having a section.  I have a bicornuate uterus and the MFM said that means the baby could be breach and I'd have to have a c-section.  Obviously I won't know until closer but the thought of a planned c-section really freaks me out more than if it happened after laboring.  I think because of the anticipation knowing it's coming and that I'd be awake for it.  It also makes me feel sad thinking I might not be able to experience an unmedicated birth.  I mean who knows if any of this will even happens but it freaks me out that there's a possibility.

Starfish113

My last labor went very quickly so I was lucky to be able to do it med-free. I hope the same happens this time. My fears are that I tear as bad as last time (or worse). I also fear that the baby will come even faster, and it will be a snow storm or something and I won't make it to the hospital in time!

peachesnbean

CurlyCupcake21 said:

Thanks for starting this!  I would love to have an unmedicated birth but am also scared of not being able to take the pain.  I've been alternating seeing a MW and OB but I really would rather deliver with the MW.  One of the things I'm really terrified of is having a section.  I have a bicornuate uterus and the MFM said that means the baby could be breach and I'd have to have a c-section.  Obviously I won't know until closer but the thought of a planned c-section really freaks me out more than if it happened after laboring.  I think because of the anticipation knowing it's coming and that I'd be awake for it.  It also makes me feel sad thinking I might not be able to experience an unmedicated birth.  I mean who knows if any of this will even happens but it freaks me out that there's a possibility.

The bicornuate uterus does complicate things, but only a tiny bit! As a FTM (right?) once baby gets in position in the mid-30's week mark she will stay in that position if she is head down. If she is head up there are a lot of realistic ways to flip her. This is from Spinning Babies : https://spinningbabies.com/learn-more/baby-positions/breech/breech-bicornuate-uterus/

Also, if you haven't seen a chiropractor yet- do it! A lot of what they do with pregnant women is to get baby in the ideal position for birthing. FWIW I once attended a VBAC of a mom with two separate uteruses- all the way down to the cervix! It was amazing

feelingjovani

@peachesnbean thanks for the info!  I feel like the MFM doc scared me more than anything.  I've been thinking about seeing a chiropractor so maybe it's time to start looking.  This might be a silly question but are there chiropractors that specialize in working with pregnant women?

mrslittlemac

There's a big irrational part of me that just wants to do it by myself at home. I get pretty bad anxiety at hospitals and while I like my OB, I'm a stubborn brat and think I could be fine with just H in attendance (he's a former paramedic and I trust him 100%). I am afraid that the anxiety may make the labor process more complicated and take longer than it otherwise would. I also feel like women have been giving birth at home for centuries like it was NBD so why is it such a production now?

However, I realize that potential problems are a real thing and bow to the fact that it's potentially dangerous and unsanitary and not the best choice for baby. I just don't like the idea of interventions and honestly squirm at the financial aspect too. 
So barring a terrible blizzard or other unforseen circumstance (it will be full-blown winter in Montana, after all) I'll aim for a vanilla med-free birth at the hospital. Keeping an open mind and trying to wrap my head around potential need for interventions, though. 

peachesnbean

jlellis603 said:

I am happy to see this thread! Because I'm a FTM and terrified of labor haha. My pain threshold falls somewhere on the low spectrum and I am terrified of all things medical like IV's and giant needles/shots.

I don't have much of a birth plan - Labor at home as long as I can (since it's a 45 minute drive to the hospital and I do not want to get sent home), I would like an epidural so hopefully that will be an option, no one in the room but my fiancé, I would like him to cut the cord and give the first bath if it all possible, skin to skin right after. I really don't know what else to include because I haven't done this before and I have no idea what I am doing so any suggestions are welcome and I will for sure be checking here often!

Your provider should be able to give you a list of birth wishes, or you can google some birth plan templates. If you are planning on an epi you will be monitored constantly and have an IV with fluids. One thing you and your fiance can do to prevent recovery pain is to look up epidural positioning. It is still very important to keep moving and be in a good position with an epidural. If your hospital has a peanut ball- request that or if you have the means purchase one for yourself. An alternative is pillows. If my client is not in a deep sleep after a strenuous labor with her epi I will move her legs/adjust her position every 30 minutes. 

And don't worry- the unknown of labor is pretty scary for a LOT of FTM! Dealing with the contractions until you hit that transition phase and are ready to go to the hospital will have a lot to do with accepting and not fighting the waves or "surges". Move a lot, bounce on a ball if you can, and take a nice shower. Don't get in the bath until you are transitional. oh oh oh and sleep. Sleep as much as you can in early labor. Once you can't sleep, then get to work. But I promise real labor won't stop in sleep and you won't wake up with a baby between your legs.

Xstatic3333

@LilyASF42 I'm totally worried about the weather, too. I can't imagine what we'll do if I go into labor mid-crazy blizzard. At least H has a Subaru I guess!

peachesnbean

CurlyCupcake21 said:

@peachesnbean thanks for the info!  I feel like the MFM doc scared me more than anything.  I've been thinking about seeing a chiropractor so maybe it's time to start looking.  This might be a silly question but are there chiropractors that specialize in working with pregnant women?

There are! I recommend to start googling "Webster Method Chiropractic" with your city/metropolitan and see if that gets you some good results. A lot of insurances will even cover chiropractic care these days.

skiingstark

One of my biggest worries is going into labor to soon. I will be up at my parents house at Keystone Ski Resort with my family for two weeks during the holidays. What happens if I end up going up there? I do not know the hospital, the doctors,etc... I really want my doctor. I have a huge fear of male OBGYN doctors, no matter how many times people say he has seen it all etc... I can't help but think about the reason this male doctor choose to go into OBGYN when they were in college and that creeps me out to no end, also I want a doctor who has been through this before, it is like male doctor shut up, you do not know what I am going through....  My husband being the accountant jokes around though saying well at least we get a tax write off if baby comes early.

My other fear is I will be late and then they will have to induce labor, my family has a history of being late and they moved up my original due date because of my babys size but part of me still thinks that was wrong. And I have read inducing labor normally leads to more painful births. 

My plan: Hopefully baby will start naturally around the due date. I will wait a bit at my house, that way I can still move around etc... then go into the hospital. Not sure how long I will wait though, something I need to talk to my doctor about. Also I do not know my hospital's policy on eating, but if they do not allow eating, I am going to make sure I eat before I go to the hospital. Food is very important to me. I already plan on using epi. Key thing my husband needs to ask the person putting it in, how many years experience they have doing that, I have read to many stories of newbies poking people a ton of times, cause they could not get it in. Hell no... Other than that just plan on going with the flow. I do not have any other specific birth plans, I trust my doctor and I also like the other person that covers her when she is not there who is a midwife, so if they say I need something I will trust them. 

birdiejo

I want to go med free! I was open to epidural last time but I want the door to only be like a crack open this time and hopefully be able to push through the pain. My concerns are more logistics based. The hospital is a solid hour away from my home and our babysitter is a solid three hours away from both our home and the hospital. So we'll be taking my daughter to the hospital with us an hour away and hoping my MIL can come at a moments notice and pick her up two hours after that.... Also hoping I make it easily to the hospital in the hour and on the other hand hoping they don't turn me away when I do get there. 

BlondePeanut

My plan so far......getting baby girl out safe and sound....and DH is the only person allowed with me while I deliver. It is our special moment. Aside from that....I am a FTM so I have no idea what to expect, I can't say whether or not I will want meds, it depends on what happens in that moment. I am not putting any pressure on myself to make big decisions until the time comes.....the main goal is baby's safety and sharing that moment with DH. My fear is going into labor at work and I just have some anxiety over the unknown. Will I know I am in labor? Will it be slow or fast labor? Will I be able to deliver her naturally or will I need a c-secion? Will I be able to do it without meds or will I be so uncomfortable that I will need them? Just those types of unknown things. But I trust DH and my Dr whole-heartedly as supports during labor, and my Dr will help me make the best decisions to get baby girl into the world safe and sound. 

PerraSucia

I have a RCS scheduled 2/2 where I will also be a tubal. If my blood pressure starts getting shitty that's moved to 1/15. 

WinchesterGirl

Well, I would like to go med-free, if at all possible. My SIL had a very traumatic birth/recovery, and I was there with her and my brother... seeing that first hand is scary. I won't go into the details, but at this point the interventions worry me more than pain.

My plan for now is to take Bradley classes, and replace the fear with information. I'm the kind of person who feels that knowledge is power, so I'm hoping this class will help DH and I be as prepared as we can be, and give us confidence. I know he is not going to like seeing me in pain, so hopefully they will address that too. I am also reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for after.

To help with my hopefully med free birth, I'd like to labor at home as long as possible, as long as I don't have GBS or a reason that I have to go in immediately.

Overall, I feel like I can do this. So I'm going with it. 

madamerwin

I will be delivering in a hospital, under the care of a CNM. I really, really like the midwife practice I go to, and I really like that they deliver at a hospital with a level-3 NICU (just in case). If needed, there is an OB on the floor at all times, but otherwise it'll be midwives all the way.

The hospital I am delivering at offers water births, and though I don't think I want to deliver in the tub, you can have it in-room to use during labor to ease pain. I also have the option to use nitrous oxide to help ease pain. I definitely want to try everything possible before an epidural.

So my hope is to labor at home for as long as possible and go epidural-free, but I also know that things change and that it's important for me not to get stuck on a "perfect birth." My sister planned a home birth, but after laboring at home for 48 hours, contractions randomly stopping, and not dilating past 3cm, she eventually had to go to the hospital, get induced, AND get an epidural - just so she could sleep a little bit before active labor began. None of it went according to plan, and her advice to me was not to get stuck on whatever you plan to do, because in reality, you may not be able to control it.

Other than that, the only other thing I am sure of is only H will be allowed in the room, though my mom and MIL probably will want to be at the hospital as well (their prerogative if they want to sit in a waiting room for however long it takes).

I only have two concerns: That there will be a freak snowstorm that prevents us from getting to the hospital (I live in the PNW, any snow at all closes the roads), and that the baby's head will be too big to deliver vaginally and that I will need an emergency c-section. Trying not to think too much about those things for now

ColeBug89

I really like hearing everyone's different thoughts and experiences on labor and birth!

I actually feel pretty relaxed about giving birth, my only fears are being induced without a legitimate medical reason and having a c-section. A lot of moms that I know have been induced because "they feel like it" and their doctors for some reason have been ok with that. I would rather LO stay put for as long as she can while being healthy and let labor occur naturally. 

I told my DH that when the time comes to help advocate for me that I only want a c-section if one (or both) of us is in severe danger. I would rather try other interventions before jumping to a c-section. 

As as far as a birth plan, the hospital I'm delivering at has a few birthing tubs on a first-come, first serve basis. I would like to labor in the tub for a bit, but LO may have to be monitored due to velamentous cord insertion. I don't think they allow tub laboring with monitors, but I guess I will check with my OB to be sure.

I am still on the fence about an epidural. It would be nice to go med-free, but I'm not sure how much pain I will be able to tolerate since I'm a FTM. 

I have have been pretty adamant that I only want DH (and doctors/nurses) in the room with me. I think my mom was a little upset, but she can wait in the waiting room with everyone else. DH is very good at calming me down in stressful situations and I think having others in the room would make me more anxious. Plus, if something serious were to happen (emergency c-section, severe complications, etc.) I don't want a bunch of people freaking out and causing me more anxiety.

jlellis603

@peachesnbean thank you soooo much for the info! We are going on our hospital tour within then next few weeks so I will have a lot of questions ready for them. I have seen mention of the peanut ball but I wasn't sure exactly what it was for. When you say "keep moving" during an epidural (ugh this may sound dumb) but how should we do that? I can't walk right? So should I just find good positions and try those? I would like to take use of the tub/shower and other positions such as a birthing bar. Do these things happen before the epi? And am I only hooked to the IV after I've had the epi?

My plan at home is to sleep, eat a big meal, take a shower, and call the on-call Dr a jillion times before I go in haha! Hopefully sleeping actually works because I am such a light sleeper ugh

poofwok

@peachesnbean it's actually not a RCS! I had vaginal delivery the first time around but ended up with a 4th degree tear. It's the severity of the tear that caused lots of follow up appointments & tests that had to be done to make sure I was healing properly. There's just a lot of risks and possible permanent damage that can be done if I tear that way again. 

That's why we've opted for the c-section this time around. Like @PerraSucia, I'm getting my tubes tied at the same time as the CS. 

But thanks for the kind words of encouragement @peachesnbean!! I'll definitely look up all that info  

BumpasaurusRex

I haven't read through the responses yet but my basic plan is to go for a VBAC but I'm fully preparing myself for a repeat c-section.

I'm not going in super rigid about it but it's what I'd really like but the end goal is to get the baby out safely and for us to both be good.

No fears really because I'm trying to be realistic about it. I do plan to get my tubes tied if I do have a c-section so I guess I worry if that's going to affect healing time or pose any complications after birth.

catmommac

I'm a FTM and rather terrified of birth. I have no idea what I'm doing, when I should stay home or go to the hospital, what is best, etc. My plan for now is to go to the hospital and do what th doctors recommend. I'm hoping to go as med-free as possible, but I'm all for an epidural if I need/want one in the moment. I'm hoping to go vaginal, but half my friends had c-sections due to complications or baby size. My mom had 2 c-sections. If it's necessary (and I'll make them tell me why!) then it'll be okay. I only plan to have my DH and medical staff around. Parents live far away but some family is nearby. I hope to have some time together before all the visits and passing the baby. I understand that it's the first baby in a long time on my side, the first grandson, and the first great-grandson. So passing the baby is inevitable.

Tl;dr: FTM who plans on a hospital birth and going with the flow and advice from medical staff. Hope to have a little bit of family time before pass the baby starts. 

Vastra

Whenever DH and I talk about my BP, I remind him that he is to stay at my shoulders at all times, nobody is to call me "champ," and if I pass out or become unresponsive, he is not allowed to name the baby Emmastone. I am giving myself two more weeks of silly birth planning until I need to address the actual serious stuff. 

birdiejo

@vastra I told my husband so many times he had to stay by my head. I knew he wasn't going to listen.

krob

FTM with no clue what to expect. Taking Bradley class to help with that. Hoping for unmedicated vaginal birth. I generally react poorly to medication stronger than advil and I don't want to chance it. 

Definite strong fear of a c-section which is being further complicated by placenta previa at the moment. Hopefully everything self corrects. 

We live about a 20min taxi ride from the hospital so in the event of a blizzard we are planning to get a hotel room near the hospital if any blizzards are forecasted between mid-Jan and when I deliver (due 2/15).

I was born in the middle of a tropical storm so I feel I'm owed some sorta payback. LOL

LilyASF42

Group poll on episiotomies:

I went into my last labor not wanting one at all.  The thought process being it's best not to introduce a fracture/weak spot b/c that'll just encourage tearing where it might not need to happen at all.  During labor the doctor told me he needed to do one because it was going to tear and this way it would tear in a direction that would be easier to heal and cause less damage, so I agreed to it.  I didn't love the fact that I had to deal with that kind of decision making in the midst of active labor but it really ended up being not big deal to heal up so all was fine. 

I understand the reasoning for both not having one or having one, it both makes sense to me (structural engineer brain works with fractures all the time :-)), I suppose it comes down to how much you trust the doctor's judgment on if you really need one to prevent a tear in a worse direction versus him just trying to speed up the process. 

Just wondering what all of your thoughts are?

MrsP052909

My babies come too fast to make any plans. My only goal is to make it to the hospital (i.e. not having a baby in the car). With DD my H almost didn't make it in time getting to the delivery room after parking the car.

peachesnbean

MrsLittleMac said:

There's a big irrational part of me that just wants to do it by myself at home. I get pretty bad anxiety at hospitals and while I like my OB, I'm a stubborn brat and think I could be fine with just H in attendance (he's a former paramedic and I trust him 100%). I am afraid that the anxiety may make the labor process more complicated and take longer than it otherwise would. I also feel like women have been giving birth at home for centuries like it was NBD so why is it such a production now?

However, I realize that potential problems are a real thing and bow to the fact that it's potentially dangerous and unsanitary and not the best choice for baby. I just don't like the idea of interventions and honestly squirm at the financial aspect too. 
So barring a terrible blizzard or other unforseen circumstance (it will be full-blown winter in Montana, after all) I'll aim for a vanilla med-free birth at the hospital. Keeping an open mind and trying to wrap my head around potential need for interventions, though. 

I totally get the anxiety! With my first when my MW told me I was 5 cm I had a nervous breakdown. It is really important to get to know your birth team and trust them. An unsupervised birth is a huge taboo in my world and for good reason. Labor at home as long as you can and when you go in let your team know of what you want. Your OB wants a successful birth as much as you do. They really aren't all evil and self centered! We are in a day where OBs really don't want their intervention rates and will work with you.