Monday B*fest - Page 2 — The Bump
February 2017 Moms

Monday B*fest

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Re: Monday B*fest

  • @LivingLaVidaGinger, I hope you get some relief from that quick!

    @peachesnbean, people are ridiculous. Even if you did have a 4th, there's no guarantee it would be a boy anyway. Then what, are they going to assume you will be trying for a 5th? My cousin had 3 girls and went on to have a boy for her fourth and final baby. She couldn't stand that people assumed they just had to try again for a boy when in reality, they didn't care and just really wanted another child. She said no amount of reasoning would work with those who insisted on making these type of comments anyway. I'm sorry you have to deal with it, congrats on your baby girl!
  • @Ryder0406, I'm sorry you have to deal with this issue too, but that's awesome that your own dad and uncles are proud of the girls they have as they should be! I hope your H wakes up to the fact that while many people have preferences and while it's fine that he's excited, that can really cause some long term damage to your DD to feel like she's being perceived as second best, pretty much what @marriedhamstermom described. I don't blame you for feeling upset about that, that's not cool. My mom is the oldest of 8 girls (zero boys) and everyone loved and respected the fact that my grandfather considered himself the luckiest man alive. He never treated any of them like they were anything 'less than' just because they weren't boys. It's too bad more people didn't have this mentality.
    musicinmysoul17kswiger06Amber_Waves
  • I am trying to not get in my feelings and be so offended by my grandfather's rude phone call yesterday. I'm trying to keep in perspective that he is a grumpy old man and also very obsessive and stupid/rude about stuff. I got a call from him yesterday saying he wants to sit down with DH and I to have a talk then walk through our house to see if we in fact know how to keep our home clean, especially with a baby on the way. Umm...excuse me? I watch my 1 yr old niece in my home all the time, and have other family over. I clean my house thank you very much, so I was like what the hell are you saying to me right now. He said well, you have pets so I am curious if your house smells bad and has fur everywhere. What a jerk! I clean my house, my pets are clean and healthy. He acts like I have these rogue filthy street dogs running through my house pooping everywhere and that DH and I are these dirty people who don't clean and live in a junk heap. He says he saw my dogs digging in the yard so he thinks they are uncivilized in the house. And he said he smelled something bad when he walked by our trash can when he came by the other day so he thinks we must not clean our house. I was like Dude, it's the trash, does your trash smell like roses and what does how someone's trash smells have to do with their home interior being clean or not? Our trash also has some poop bags in it from when we clean the yard after they go to the bathroom. Not to mention the can sits outside in the driveway for a week until the city trash pick up comes. I was beyond pissed. But instead of saying no jerkwad stay the heck away, I said SURE come on over and check out the house. For the simple fact that I want him to see how stupid he is acting. I clean my house bottom line and it does not smell. Does he seriously think my sister would have me babysit my niece at my house ever since she was a little baby if I had a dirty home? Absolutely not! And I am not some idiot to bring my baby that DH and I wanted so badly into some filthy pig pen to get sick. I wanted to curse him out SO badly....but he's an old crotchety pain in the ass and I should be used to him by now. He nitpicks everything and comes across so rude. Example: he tells my Mom at a family party that her under eye bags are hideous and to do something about them. he also told one of my sisters that she really needed to lose weight because she was huge. he also has been flat out rude to my husband, my mom's ex husband and her current husband and talks about them behind their backs trying to say they are lazy good for nothings. My husband is a full time machinist and goes to school for engineering, he is a VERY hard worker so I told him to flat out shut his mouth and have respect for my husband or don't talk to me again because he is slandering with lies. I hate to say this because I might sound mean, but I can't wait for him to go to his out of state house to stay for 6 months and stop pestering everyone with his bs. I get old age sucks,  but don't rain on my parade with BS and offensive comments.     
    skiingstark
  • @BlondePeanut all I can say is wow.... And I'm sorry you have to deal with that shiz.
    Me: 24  DH: 28

    Married: 9/2013

    Love my LEO!!

    TTC #1: 9/2015

    BFP: 2/1/16  MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks

    BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY

    EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!* 

    Kirsten Grace 1/20/17                            


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BlondePeanutskiingstark
  • @becbec28 - Thank you. I almost went off and said NO YOU ARE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE! But then my true nature came out and I said let me show him what's what, COME ON BY! So he is coming Friday....and my biggest concern is my husband going off because my grandfather tends to push DH's buttons alot and we are both already sick of his crap, and DH gets very pissed if anyone tries to stress me out being pregnant. Another reason I didn't curse him out is because he bought us a gorgeous crib and stroller for the baby and brought it over last weekend, so I didn't want to tell him to stick them up his ass and keep it moving lol. It is such a fine line. We were really close when I was a kid, he helped raise me since my Mom was a young mother and my bio dad ran for the hills. But ever since I grew up, he is such a pain in the ass. I would feel bad if I was rude to him or shut him out, and then he died being that he is old. 

    musicinmysoul17skiingstark
  • @BumpasaurusRex - you're right about that too. There was one time I went off on him and told him to cut his shit and lost my temper b/c he was berating my husband for no reason and calling him lazy when the guy works his ass off. Other than that, my family just says "oooh you know how he is!" and let him get away with it. I just want to 1 up him and show him my clean house so he hopefully feels like a big idiot for even going there.


    @Gretchypoo - Lol, right! Sure bring in a cleaning company and give me a break from doing it! My grandfather has always been an asshole. It just wasn't directed my way until I got older, and is now even worse since he is old. I recall him and my uncle getting into flat out fist fights when I was young b/c my uncle told him to mind his business and they flipped out on eachother. He criticizes my Mom constantly for spending money and going on trips instead of saving her pennies. My mom works 2 jobs and just finished going to school again even though she already has her masters degree. So if she wants to take a vacation, she deserves it. I remember my bday card from him when I turned 18...it was a blank card with a typed letter spelling out what responsibility is and that since I am not an adult I must be responsible and stop playing games. Wonderful. My grandmother kept him in check pretty well, but she passed away from a blood clot many years ago when I was only 13, so ever since he is just not a happy person. But he shouldn't treat family the way he does...my husband HATES it. He says no matter what there is no excuse for him being an asshole, especially to his own blood who have done nothing but try and be a close family and live good solid lives. 

    musicinmysoul17Gretchypooskiingstark
  • @BlondePeanut, that's so upsetting and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that crap. He sounds similar to my own dad whom I haven't had contact with in almost 2 years now. Be very careful about accepting material items or just money in general from your grandfather (believe me, I know this is WAY easier said than done) because he will probably continue to hold that against you as time goes on. My dad always seemed to think that giving us anything, whether it was money to help financially or just material items (even if they were gifts and even though we never asked him for anything) somehow made it okay for him to do or say anything he wanted to us. 

    I know now there's a guilt factor involved when someone's been there for you in the past, but I had to learn the hard way that doesn't always mean you're forever obligated to let them be a part of your life. It's also tough the older someone gets because it becomes a matter of 'respecting your elders' type thing or people laugh it off because it's just some old grouch being old. To me it doesn't quite work that way; being older doesn't give you a free pass to become an asshole or a worse one than what you already were.

    There's no excuse for him to treat you that way and I'm really sorry you have to deal with it because it's highly likely he won't change and may even become worse as time goes on. There's only going to be so many times you can take what he says with a grain of salt before he becomes like a constant negative toxic cloud of doom hanging over your life. You shouldn't have to deal with proving to him you keep a clean home or permitting him to inspect your house. That is some serious BS right there. 
    BlondePeanutjennpearl007musicinmysoul17skiingstark
  • @Jab3 - Sorry to hear about your issues as well. It is def hard. And you are very right....he helped me out when I was 17 to get a car, and he every so often says "well I have helped you and your family with money because I want to help you". He did buy my Mom and uncle a house, so he does big scale things. But he also is stubborn and can be a flat out asshole. My stepdad tells my husband to this day he doesn't envy him that he is part of that drama (he and my Mom divorced years ago). It is almost like DH, my sisters, and I are the only ones who see that he is a jerk. He complains that we granddaughters don't ever call him or spend time....but why would we want to? I wish him well, wish him happy holidays and see him at family events. My Mom and uncle call him and go above and beyond to accept his behavior b/c he is old and we should cherish the time we have with him. I appreciate the help he has given, but I don't appreciate the attitude or way he treats my husband. And flat out, if he doesn't curb that crap, he won't be bringing that toxic cloud near our baby girl for even the fact that he stresses us out when he is around, and she will sense it. I know he would dote on her, but that isn't the point.

    musicinmysoul17skiingstarkjab3-2
  • My bmf topic this week; I won't see my husband until Oct 28th because he's working 13 hours x 7 days a week in Cedar Rapids until then. My best option to see him would be to spend the weekend there in 2 weeks; a 9 hour 1 way drive. Then I could see him during the hour of the day when he eats, showers, and immediately goes to bed.  :s

    The bright side is that I won't need to shave. Or tweeze any errant pregnant hairs.
    Sorry you have to be without your hubby! That really stinks! For what it's worth, as an Iowa person myself, I'm sure the sacrifice you guys are making by not being together, means a whole lot to a lot of people! 
  • tishb said:
    My bmf topic this week; I won't see my husband until Oct 28th because he's working 13 hours x 7 days a week in Cedar Rapids until then. My best option to see him would be to spend the weekend there in 2 weeks; a 9 hour 1 way drive. Then I could see him during the hour of the day when he eats, showers, and immediately goes to bed.  :s

    The bright side is that I won't need to shave. Or tweeze any errant pregnant hairs.
    Sorry you have to be without your hubby! That really stinks! For what it's worth, as an Iowa person myself, I'm sure the sacrifice you guys are making by not being together, means a whole lot to a lot of people! 
    Oh man, he isn't National Guard or anything, he's working at a nuclear reactor during refueling. Don't get too good of a perception of him :D It does look like the town is very well prepared after the 2008 flooding.
    Me: 31  H: 32
    Married: 10/10
    EDD: 8/27/16  MMC 1/16
    Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
    TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
    EDD: 9/6/19
    Pregnancy Ticker
    tishb
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