Exactly! I'd be good with low key but this is, like, judges quarters-- why invite 358 people esp if you're planning to have a "real" wedding later-- are you not married until then?Not going, not sending a gift. If you can't send an invitation (even a cheap one from Walmart!), I'm not spending $50- $100 on a gift.
I couldn't be more grateful right now to my cousin and his wife. Their baby just turned 1 a few months ago so they must have been going through some of their stuff. They gave us a brand new diaper bag, a wrap, 2 swaddle blankets, several boxes of nursing pads, a couple of boxes of breastmilk storage bags and a few other small things. Some people might not see it as a big deal, but it was to me. I felt like that was really thoughtful and generous of them to give all of that to us. I really like my cousin's wife, she's such a good person. She just treats everyone so nicely. And it's genuine, not that fake BS people try and pull just to seem nice until you turn your back. I really enjoy having her be a part of the family.