How to respond to "When are you going to have kids?!" — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How to respond to "When are you going to have kids?!"

Before we started trying this comment was just annoying. I thought it was no one's business whether or not we ever had kids. However, now that we've tried, conceived and then lost our babies (and still benched since I still have too much HCG in my system), we're in a completely different place when people ask that question.

How do you respond or how would you propose responding to people asking, "When are you going to have kids?!"
*TW*

TTC#1 - 6.3.16
BFP#1 - 7.1.16, (mo-di twins + singleton) due 3.15.17
MC singleton - 7.13.16 - 5w
MMC identical twins - 8.5.16 - 8w+2d
Misoprostol 4x
D&C - 9.12.16
Hysteroscopy - 11.21.16 - Retained tissue filling half of uterus removed, blocked left tube, benched for 2 cycles, on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days
HSG - 2.7.17 - Asherman's Syndrome. Both tubes open.
Hysteroscopy 2.13.17 - Incomplete adhesiolysis for Asherman's, benched & on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days. At least two more surgeries needed...
Hysteroscopy 3.21.17 - Adhesiolysis for Asherman's, benched & on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days.
TTCAL #1: 4.24.17
Hysteroscopy 5.23.17 - Scars reformed. Adhesiolysis. Unsure what to do next...
Fertility acupuncture - started 6.13.17

Re: How to respond to "When are you going to have kids?!"

  • I just say we are working on it and leave it at that. It really isn't anyone's business but it usually shuts people up. 
  • Is "f-off" inappropriate??  Just kidding... kinda
    I'm dreading this question now too. 
    weareturtles
  • @Schmex704 that's exactly what I'd like to say.   I hate when people ask it brings up so many emotions.  
  • It's very inappropriate and quite frankly nobody's business. I miscarried in April 2016. Just finally got back into wanting TTC. Everyone around me is popping babies like crazy. It's hard trying to be happy for them, especially when they posted abt their pregnancy all while Im dealing with a loss. It will happen when its supposed to. 
  • @slsmith5801 - Hear you! Lots of people announcing babies due in March (like I was), which has been hard, but the worst was when someone announced they were due in March with twins (just like I was). I lost it. :(
    *TW*

    TTC#1 - 6.3.16
    BFP#1 - 7.1.16, (mo-di twins + singleton) due 3.15.17
    MC singleton - 7.13.16 - 5w
    MMC identical twins - 8.5.16 - 8w+2d
    Misoprostol 4x
    D&C - 9.12.16
    Hysteroscopy - 11.21.16 - Retained tissue filling half of uterus removed, blocked left tube, benched for 2 cycles, on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days
    HSG - 2.7.17 - Asherman's Syndrome. Both tubes open.
    Hysteroscopy 2.13.17 - Incomplete adhesiolysis for Asherman's, benched & on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days. At least two more surgeries needed...
    Hysteroscopy 3.21.17 - Adhesiolysis for Asherman's, benched & on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days.
    TTCAL #1: 4.24.17
    Hysteroscopy 5.23.17 - Scars reformed. Adhesiolysis. Unsure what to do next...
    Fertility acupuncture - started 6.13.17
  • slsmith5801slsmith5801 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment Photogenic
    edited October 2016
    @weareturtles My bf's cousin and his gf announced their pregnancy the week after I miscarried.
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