April 2017 Moms

Loss of twin *TW*

We had our appointment this morning to check on th babies. One of the babies heart stopped beating at about 8 weeks and I'm 11 weeks. I am absolutely crushed and a total wreck. I'm doing my best to keep it together for DH and DD.  I know I should thankful for the growing baby who was super active in there but I so distraught on how to grieve one and celebrate the other. I heard that beautiful heart beat just 4 weeks ago. I can't understand why it just stopped beating. And I feel awful the number of times I thought to myself how I didn't think I could handle twins and how much our life was going to change. I feel horrible for all those thoughts! Am I being punished for thinking that way. 

Now I'm super worried how my body is going to handle ridding of twin B. The Dr seems confident my body will absorb it. But what if it attempts to miscarry and it effects twin A? What if twin A doesn't make it or something is wrong with it too? We can't do any genetic testing because it will detect abnormalities with the deceased twin. Omg I just had to type deceased. This is awful. I know this is just an endless ramble at this point I'm sorry. Thanks for any prayers and good thoughts. 
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Re: Loss of twin *TW*

  • I am so sorry you're going through this. I can feel your chaos and I hope you can find some peace and that A continues to grow. Please be gentle with yourself, you did nothing wrong. Allow yourself the time to grieve B. 
  • I amso sorry. I can't imagine how confusing this is for you. Please take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love and light your way.
  • I am so incredibly sorry and can only imagine the range of emotions you're experiencing right now. Sending you lots of love.
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  • I am so very sorry for you loss. It is totally normal to be feeling this mix of emotions right now. 
  • I'm so sorry. Remember this is not your fault. You are not being punished. There's probably no explanation for why your other twin stopped growing. I'm sure you're feeling a lot of conflicting emotions but be sure to take time to grieve the other one. Grieve with your hubby. It's ok to not be strong all the time in front of him. It is truly devastating, especially if you don't know why. It's not going to hurt your living twin if you take time to heal from your loss. I can't help you about what will happen to the other one. Trust your doctor on that. Thoughts and prayers with you. 
  • @Mama5181 First off, I'm so sorry...

    My mom lost the fraternal twin of my middle sister when I was 14. (This is how she found out she was pregnant) and she was very worried - but the doctor said that the second baby, my now 14 year old sister, was thriving and that since she looked right on target for size and had a healthy heartbeat that he was not prepared to worry her. 

    Hang in there. <3
    Alyssa (30) & DH (36)
    DD (12), DS (8). 
    Baby Boy EDD 4/6/17. 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Try to stay positive for yourself and your family <33
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  • So sorry to hear this
  • Very sorry for your loss.
    EDD 4/15/17
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  • Thoughts and prayers to you and yours as you navigate this heartbreak. 
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  You will be in my thoughts

    DD Born 5.9.12

    MC March 2016@8.5w

    Expecting #2 4/30/17

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  • I am so sorry for your loss. Hoping the other baby continues to thrive and grow and that ypu can find strength to move on and grieve.
  • I am so sorry to hear this. I'm all teary eyed at work reading this. My heart goes out to you. Be kind to yourself through this process. And PLEASE keep us updated on Baby A.  <3
    Me: 29 DH: 33
    Married: 5/30/2013
    DSS #1: 5/25/2007
    DSS #2: 1/22/2011
    DS #3: 7/8/2012
    BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
    DS #4: 4/21/17
  • Ugh my heart breaks for you. So sorry you are going through this. Baby A is going to kick ass and grow nice and strong for you!


    TTC since June 2015
    DH {29} Me {26}
    PCOS Diagnosis | September 2015
    IF Specialist | November 2015
    Provera | November 2015 | 179 Days since last AF
    HSG | December 2015 | All Clear
    Provera | January 2016 | 46 Days since last AF
    1st round of Femara 2.5mgs | January 2016 | No response
    Provera | February 2016 | 44 Days since last AF
    2nd round of Femara 5mgs | March 2016 | O CD18 | AF 3/28/2016
    3rd round of Femara 5mgs | March/April 2016 | No response | AF 5/6/2016
    4th round of Femara 7.5mgs | May 2016 | BFP June 4, 2015
    EDD: 2/15/2017 | Loss Discovered: 6/11/2016 | NMC: 6/15/2015
    Gonal-F 75 IU upped to 100 IU | June 2016 | IUI June 29, 2016 | Beta: July 13, 2016 | AF 7/12/2016
    Gonal-F 75 IU upped to 112.5IU | July 2016 | IUI July 27, 2016 | Beta: August 10, 2016 | + Beta 171!
    BFP on Digi 8/8/2016 | Beta #2: 396 = 39 hour doubling time | Beta #3: 1659 = 34 hour doubling time
    First ultrasound: August 17, 2016; 5 weeks; Gestational Sac and yolk
    Second ultrasound: August 25, 2016; 6W+1D; Heartbeat 105bpm
    Third ultrasound: August 31, 2016; 7 weeks; Heartbeat 136bpm
    Graduated from RE: August 31, 2016
    EDD: April 17, 2017


  • So very sorry for your loss, praying you get the support you need to get through this difficult time. 
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  • I've not been feeling particularly emotional the past couple of weeks,  but your story really got to me. My DH was quite alarmed that I had tears running down my face. 

    There was a brief moment when I found out we were having a girl with our first pregnancy that I was disappointed.  Later when I found out that we lost her,  I let myself think all sorts of nonsense...that I was being punished because I was ungrateful,  that I deserved the loss. I know now that those thoughts were irrational. I also know that I'll likely never know what the medical reason was behind that loss.  Please,  please let yourself grieve without fear of being judged.  The fact that you still have one baby does not lessen the loss of the other. 

  • Please be kind to yourself; I'm so sorry to hear this.
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    Me: 28 & Partner: 32 | Married 2014
    BFP 7/29 EDD 4/11
  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. Take time to be sad and grieve. It's is totally okay and good that you do so. Hugs. 
  • I'm very sorry to hear this, totally get how this is both distressing and confusing.  No feelings are wrong about this tragic situation!
  • I'm so sorry :( 

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  • So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers.
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  • So incredibly sorry for your loss!!!


  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    MMC @ 10w March 2016
    Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017

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  • I am so sorry for your loss. Just keep thinking positive thoughts and focusing on your other baby, and maybe it will help a little. You are in my thoughts, and your little one. 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs 
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    BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. 



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    DS--N14
    Baby #2 EDD--4/16/17
  • Thinking of you! So sorry you have to go through this. And as much as it's normal to feel the way you do, I just want to say that this is in no shape or form your fault, nor are you being punished for having completely normal and overwhelming feelings throughout this pregnancy. You are wonderful, and none of this is your fault! <3



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