Post partum depression??

CAN070816

Hello, this is the first time I've posted so please bare with me...

My DD is almost 3 months old and I'm thinking I might have some form of PPD? I worry about everything. It's making me sick to my stomach how much I constantly worry. Even when there's nothing new to worry about I find reasons to worry. Quick backstory... DD has Pretty bad reflux. We've been on 4 different formulas (finally settled on EleCare) and she also has dsyphagia and has to have her bottle thickened. She'll cough and sometimes do a choking thing so I'm constantly worried about that. She also prefers to look to her right and now has a mild flat spot on her head which we just scheduled a therapy session for next week. She hates tummy time so of course I'm worried something else is wrong. This afternoon I got into my head that she might be deaf in her left ear since she won't turn that direction or she might be completely deaf (I dropped something on the floor to make sure she reacted to it) and now I've been upset and crying all afternoon. I also got worried that she might be autistic and my husband sent me an article on signs of autism and how she isn't showing any of those signs. 

It's like I'm trying to find something to worry about all the time, but I truly don't mean to. Am I crazy? Has anyone else felt like this? I don't have any negative thoughts like hurting her or myself at all. Just worry. I told my mom tonight (DD and I are staying with her since DH is out of town) that I feel like I can't be happy because I'm worried so much. Maybe it because my period is back and my hormones are crazy?? I just don't know. So sorry for the long post!

meggyme

There is also such a thing as PP anxiety. Give your OB a call and they can make a true assessment and give you one less thing to worry about.

vintagevix2016

I had severe anxiety after Damien was born so I definitely understand how you feel. I lost so much sleep over my worries and made myself sick as well. I lost my appetite too, which sucked for breastfeeding (he is on formula now and takes breastmilk as well via bottle). My brain just never shut off, it was in hyperdrive and I was constantly thinking of new and exciting ailments and concerns to obsess over. It also meant that I was never able to "sleep when baby sleeps," which meant I was always in zombie mode. I found that visiting Dr. Google all the time only made it worse because I would find that somewhere in the world there would be one off incident where a routine/no biggie thing happened and I'd worry that Damien would be that one exception. PP anxiety sounds more akin to what you may be going through just based off of what you have posted. It is worth talking to your dr about to see if that's truly what it is. 

Regarding the flat spot and favoring of one side, Damien has a noticeable flat spot and he favors his left side. His ped. referred him to a physical therapist and we just started that last Tuesday. They are so young that their bones (including skull) are still soft and malleable so flat spots and side favouritism can be fixed. Most often, flat spots occur due to the baby's position in the womb. They can also occur during deliver if things like forceps were used. If she does favor her right side, that is more than likely why she doesn't turn towards sounds in that direction. You can always have her ped. double check her hearing. Damien will often not turn towards sounds on his right for that reason. I posted the neck exercises and stretches that our physical therapist has me doing every day in this thread: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12688104/neck-exercises#latest

The physical therapist will know what will work best for your LO. 

If you check out the tummy time thread, you will see that a lot of our LOs hate tummy time. Damien hated it with a passion! Still isn't a fan but he tolerates it more now than he used to. You're definitely not alone! The thread is here: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12686502/tummy-time-question#latest

rlbrooks84

Go talk to your doctor. I have some major anxiety issues and have had ppd with all 3 of my LOs. I look back and wish I had gotten help sooner with my boys because I spent so much of those first months full of anxiety and depression. With this LO I had a plan with my physiatrist and I've been able to enjoy this time with my LO. Google is BAD when it comes to health questions, I try to not Google anything health related because it always adds to my anxiety. I wish you the best of luck and you can get through this! 

splsmama2016

Same with what the others offered, but adding that you can't diagnose autism this early. At three months old, babies are just now starting to reach those early milestones, such as smiling, tracking objects, seeing and comprehending things like their fingers (this one is new for us and it's cute). Not all babies will hit these markets at the same age. You also need to factor in if he/she came early or late.

Reflux and other factors can push some milestones back a week or two, or even several months. Happened with my nephew. He was delayed with some aspects,  and especially his speech (didn't start to speak more than yes and no until he was 3) and they thought he was autistic. Nope. He just took his time doing things. 

If you're still concerned with the possibility of autism, speak with your ped. He/she will be able to give you some piece of mind for a while.