@Partyof6? One of the most shocking things about parenthood was the lack of support from family and friends when it comes to help with baby sitting. People acted all gung ho about helping, but if I wanted to go out for a date night, run to the grocery store, kid is sick and I have to go to work no one wanted to help. It hurt my feelings because I helped my friends and family raise their kids. But now I'm used to doing it without my "village". Its better now that I have a SO, but when I was a single mom oh man, talk about brutal.
@scifichick09 I had an order at christmas time that was sent to the wrong store which was out of stock on what I wanted anyway so it asked me to pick another store. When I went to the location I asked for the order to be transferred to they pulled the order and then when they ran it through to be paid I got an email that my order would be cancelled and the girl called the manager over and he was just kind of like "meh" we'll figure it out. I was never charged. I would bet you get the refund. I have had other issues where they didn't charge me the correct amount, always in my favor though. They have never been interested in correcting it.
Someone dumped a dog in our dog park on Friday. It was very hot, there was really no shade, and they left the dog no water. I took him home and he was the absolute sweetest. He was older, mostly blind, and can't go up or downstairs so we sadly couldn't keep him as he weighed about 30 pounds and I just can't do that right now. We have friends who work with a rescue and they came and picked him up to take him to the vet and try to re-home him. We were originally going to keep the dog until he was re-homed but they really wanted him. It may have only been two days but I am so hormonally pregnantly attached to that dog now, they are posting pictures of him on Facebook and it's so hard not to get in the car and pick the dog back up. I have been crying at work all day about it and my husband started a new job so not only is he not here at work with me but I can't really even call him.
I would definitely recommend NOT to forbear or reduce student loan payments. I teach personal finance with JA, and a thing I feel very strongly about is looking at the true cost of a loan.
A 10k loan with 6.8% interest paid over 10 years?
Cost of 'normal': $13810 Cost of 2 years deferred: $15688 Cost of Income-reduced: $17226
That's a small loan, the growth on large ones can be ruinous.
The absolutely vital thing is to pay more on principle than your interest charges are each and every year; otherwise you quite literally never reduce the debt. I know that people are forced to do non-ideal things financially, but deferring/reducing student loan payments can be be so so dangerous, especially if the monthly payment is high.
@foxrosy this was a huge drama for us. We even moved closer to my in laws because my mil insisted on watching the baby then 3 weeks before I went back to work she said "I think I want to be a grandma not your nanny" I'm still bitter.
I would definitely recommend NOT to forbear or reduce student loan payments. I teach personal finance with JA, and a thing I feel very strongly about is looking at the true cost of a loan.
A 10k loan with 6.8% interest paid over 10 years?
Cost of 'normal': $13810 Cost of 2 years deferred: $15688 Cost of Income-reduced: $17226
That's a small loan, the growth on large ones can be ruinous.
The absolutely vital thing is to pay more on principle than your interest charges are each and every year; otherwise you quite literally never reduce the debt. I know that people are forced to do non-ideal things financially, but deferring/reducing student loan payments can be be so so dangerous, especially if the monthly payment is high.
I made this mistake. now I still owe more than I originally borrowed and I've been paying for years. unfortunately, when I deferred it was literally a "food or loans" financial crisis. yay social work pay!
@foxrosy, its been this way for years. It is always so much easier to ask my parents. Or to tell them something and have them volunteer. Its not my kids either, because while there are three of them, my kids are awesome and easy. For everyone but me, lol. My job is just tough because my schedule is always different, so sometimes I just need a last minute thing.
They are good people and I shouldn't complain. Also, hats off for being a single mom, I don't know how any single moms can manage it all!
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
@PerraSucia I'm definitely still bitter about some situations. My cousin who was more like a sister charged me $50 bucks when my dad was in a coma from a massive stroke and in ICU. Mind you she offered to watch him. I was going to work, and going to the ICU daily to ensure he was getting proper attention and care. Not to mention trying to be there in case he died. I asked her to watch my son for a few hours as it was impossible to bring a two year old to the ICU alone and she said she was helping a family member with wedding shopping. The wedding was 1.5 years away. It hurt me so bad and damaged our relationship tremendously. To this day, I keep a lot of distance between us, which breaks my heart because she has my godsons and I was very close with them. @Partyof6? I make it through with a lot of curse words, and getting creative! On more than one occasion I've had to bring my son to work with me, which is highly stressful.
@Lafreeman21you are so right. Unfortunately I've already succumbed to that nightmare when I had to go into forebearance after having my son and breaking up with his dad. I was homeless, jobless, and had a six month old. It took a while to get back on my feet and I feel the economic burn! But yes, everything you said is so true. Many of my friends live at home with their parents and/or work two jobs to make their monthly payments. I just wish I could go back to that moment in the financial counselor's office and say "Get the eff outta there girl!" Haha! But also not haha.
So H is talking about going active military so that he can get NP school paid for. Idk if I could do military life, but they would pay for everything AND help pay his bachelor loans (luckily we only owe like 30k).
@Lafreeman21 I feel this is true for small loans, but not always for larger loans. For example, we currently owe $120k and if we make the payments under the standard plan for 10 years, we will end up paying back $120k plus interest. However, since we’ve switched to income-based repayment, we will only pay back $47k over the 10 years, plus interest, and then the loan is forgiven. Because under a federal loan program, as long as you pay the qualifying payments for 10 consecutive years, the remaining balance is forgiven. So it works better for us that way
@srscott3 Do you have to claim the 73k as income when it's forgiven? I mean obviously that's better than paying the 73k but that tax obligation stresses me out haha.
So H is talking about going active military so that he can get NP school paid for. Idk if I could do military life, but they would pay for everything AND help pay his bachelor loans (luckily we only owe like 30k).
Wait! Pause! I looked into this once and there is another way you can get it paid for. I think there's a loan forgiveness program for NPs that work in underserved areas.
@spicyweiner is he looking into HPSP? H looked into that before med school too.
But he didn't end up doing it because his dad found out about the legacy act. Which allows a retired member of the military to pass down benefits to their child. So since his dad was military and never used the military's money for school, he was able to pass down 4 years
@Spicyweiner that sounds really hard too! @homemake I have looked into it. Most of the qualifying places are in low income clinics or places, which I'm completely fine with because the underserved population is where my passion is. Those places usually pay less and you have to work for about ten years to qualify. It's definitely something I keep thinking about. The other option is to work in prisons, which I'd also be ok with, but one of my patients who was previously a "lifer" but got released by some chance strongly advised I didn't do that. She believed so especially because I had a kid. I grew up kind kind of rough, so I'm not really intimidated, but some of the stories she told me definitely made me second guess!
So he already used his GI Bill for nursing school. He's used up all his benefits for education, unless he takes a "we pay for you to be a NP, but you gotta be one for us for four years". I mean, we would be paid well since he would be higher ranking, have a nice home etc. My inlaws would probably live in our house and make our payments. I just have a fear of moving somewhere I don't know anyone and be forced to act respectably to people I don't want to be nice to. Military wives, especially of officers and above, are expected to have a certain level of decorum, and I'm a wild hair to put it mildly.
@Spicyweiner I never really found any other wives that I was that fond of and we moved pretty frequently in the 8 years that my husband was in. I will say that I am much happier now that my husband is out but I do miss those benefits, especially the health insurance. This is the first baby we are having off of Tricare and it is expensive!
@Spicyweiner I never really found any other wives that I was that fond of and we moved pretty frequently in the 8 years that my husband was in. I will say that I am much happier now that my husband is out but I do miss those benefits, especially the health insurance. This is the first baby we are having off of Tricare and it is expensive!
We have TriCare because he's reserves. We pay OOP for it but it's excellent.
@srscott3 The 1099 issued for the forgiven principal + interest is always what has worried me. I understood that you calculated that you'll have $73k forgiven. Since that's 1099'd to you, you'll pay tax on it like income...which, when taxed like income (around 30%) is around $25k...due and payable that year. And we all know the IRS doesn't screw around when it comes to outstanding tax debt. I don't think a lot of people realize the tax bills that will be coming to them in 10 years, and we're going to have a very serious problem on our hands. Not saying you fit in this category, but in general, if people weren't making enough money to pay the standard amount on their student loans, how do we expect them to save up 5 digits over 10 years?
@Lafreeman21 Student loans aren't forgivable in bankruptcy. That ish haunts you for L.I.F.E.
@Patience7150 we did think about that when setting up IBR payments. But we have a plan set in place to save towards the $25k. Also, the reason we switched to income based is because H is still in residency and I'm still a student. 10 years from now he'll be a full surgeon and I have a secured job at a firm. So we're (very very hopefully) thinking we can save that. I know it's not the case for everyone though and I really wish that was required to tell people before signing up for IBR
also, true that on student loans following you for life. Bankruptcy dismisses a lot of debt, but unfortunately not that
@srscott3 Curious about this, how do SLs work in residency in the US? because in Canada, student loans do not get the concept of a residency at all. It's standard practice here for docs to have their professional student LoC buy out their student loan debt when med school ends, because student loans go into repayment as soon as you graduate med school, while the LoCs run through residency and give you a grace period*. I always thought it was such a useless set-up, curious if they have a better system in the US.
*Also, because of this, technically no doctor finishes residency with student loans. A shit ton of debt, yet, but none controlled by the government. And the last government made a big deal about how they were doing all these loan forgiveness incentives for rural practice as an election promise... when virtually no doctors would be able to take advantage of them... jerks.
@poetryandoceans I'm probably going to sound like the catfish right now because I'm relating to fucking everything, but oh well.
I'm actually Canadian and I have a cousin who is in med school at Western. So I've talked to her a lot about this too.
In the states repayment will start at the end of med school if you don't match into a residency. But if you do match into a residency program, you can forbear for the duration of residency. However, of course, interest accrues. So we opted to just go into repayment and use H's 5 years of residency toward the 10 year required years before the remainder is forgiven. I would rather pay income based repayment when H is making $50k as opposed to when he's making $200k
I'm on a graduated repayment plan because I wanted small payments now (immediate gratification, much?) but now you're making think about income-based. I hate finances
@MommaBean I would just say do as much research as possible and choose what fits best for your family. Student loans are a bitch and no repayment is going to be super fun or anything, so we just chose the plan where the most pros outweighed the most cons
So we ordered new appliances last weekend and they said the fridge was backordered so they would call when it came in to set up a delivery date. Well yesterday when we were out running errands, they call and say that are at our house to deliver our appliances! No warning what-so-ever! Chaos ensued for about an hour but everything got here. However when I get home from work today, I notice a huge deep scratch on the front of the oven door! I'm making H call them tomorrow because this moody pregnant woman does not have the restraint right now to have a civil conversation with them
I really don't know if I'm in the wrong regarding my bitchfest...but there's something that's been bothering me and I just need to get it off my chest!
My former best friend (I say former as a result of the following) is getting married in October. We were close friends in high school, best friends in college (roommates all 4 years and inseparable). After college we even moved out of state together and lived together for about 2 years. Well, fast forward to where I meet my husband, get married, and have 3 kids. Oh, and I also stopped drinking around the time I met my husband at 25. (I consider myself to be an alcoholic and my friend and I were bad influences on each other in that respect). Well, we kind of grow apart as a result of my no longer drinking/partying and having kids. She also never really liked my husband much. We kept in touch but didn't see each other quite as often. Having 3 kids 3 and under at one point made it difficult for me to even go out to eat, etc with her.
Well now she's getting married. It was obvious from the get go that I wasn't going to be a part of her wedding. My feelings were hurt, since we were BFFs for so long and had been through SO much together.(I'm talking some big, serious stuff). I'd ask her to meet up for lunch periodically and shed change the subject. On my birthday this year she didn't call or text me, just said something On FB. In an overly emotional state, I unfriended her on FB. I couldn't emotionally handle the "left out" feeling I got whenever I saw her feed.
She just had her bachelorette party and I saw pics etc as a result of mutual friends. Obviously she didn't even invite me to the wedding. . I know I was being childish and perhaps petty in unfriending her, but my feelings were very hurt. Ugh. It's just sad seeing a 20 year friendship end.
@ljane I had a similar thing happen with a former best friend. It stung for awhile and I would think of her often and wish I could talk to her. It's been about 5 years since we've spoken for real and I'm finally okay about it. It's hard losing a friend for weird reasons , I'm sorry you had to see those pictures and feel badly.
@poetryandoceans one thing I always wondered about is how it works for Canadian med students who match to an American residency program
also do you mean Trudeau or Harper? Because fuck Harper.
@srscott3 I would imagine for Canadian students going into American residencies, it would work exactly the same as for those going into Canadian residences: you're expected to start paying back the money the government gave you when you're done school, and they don't consider residency "school", so where you reside after med school doesn't make much difference.
And it was Harper that was making a big deal about rural debt forgiveness. Never mind that out of all the doctors my husband and I know who do rural work (and that's a lot, rural is a big part of my husband's practice), none of them have ever seen a dime from them. Because fuck Harper.
I really don't know if I'm in the wrong regarding my bitchfest...but there's something that's been bothering me and I just need to get it off my chest!
My former best friend (I say former as a result of the following) is getting married in October. We were close friends in high school, best friends in college (roommates all 4 years and inseparable). After college we even moved out of state together and lived together for about 2 years. Well, fast forward to where I meet my husband, get married, and have 3 kids. Oh, and I also stopped drinking around the time I met my husband at 25. (I consider myself to be an alcoholic and my friend and I were bad influences on each other in that respect). Well, we kind of grow apart as a result of my no longer drinking/partying and having kids. She also never really liked my husband much. We kept in touch but didn't see each other quite as often. Having 3 kids 3 and under at one point made it difficult for me to even go out to eat, etc with her.
Well now she's getting married. It was obvious from the get go that I wasn't going to be a part of her wedding. My feelings were hurt, since we were BFFs for so long and had been through SO much together.(I'm talking some big, serious stuff). I'd ask her to meet up for lunch periodically and shed change the subject. On my birthday this year she didn't call or text me, just said something On FB. In an overly emotional state, I unfriended her on FB. I couldn't emotionally handle the "left out" feeling I got whenever I saw her feed.
She just had her bachelorette party and I saw pics etc as a result of mutual friends. Obviously she didn't even invite me to the wedding. . I know I was being childish and perhaps petty in unfriending her, but my feelings were very hurt. Ugh. It's just sad seeing a 20 year friendship end.
I totally feel for you on the whole growing apart and moving on aspect.. Once I had my DD, I "lost" lots of friends who just didn't go down the same path that I did.
But honestly, if someone unfriended me on FB with no warning or conversation, especially after growing apart for a while, I wouldn't invite them to my wedding..
I actually unfriended her after wedding invitations would have been sent out...
I think she held a lot of animosity soon after I started having kids because she felt I wasn't making time for her. But damn, I had 3 kids in a short period of time and was overwhelmed. I don't think she will truly understand what it's like until she has kids.
I go back and forth between talking to her and just cutting my losses and moving on.
Re: Monday B*fest
A 10k loan with 6.8% interest paid over 10 years?
Cost of 'normal': $13810
Cost of 2 years deferred: $15688
Cost of Income-reduced: $17226
That's a small loan, the growth on large ones can be ruinous.
The absolutely vital thing is to pay more on principle than your interest charges are each and every year; otherwise you quite literally never reduce the debt. I know that people are forced to do non-ideal things financially, but deferring/reducing student loan payments can be be so so dangerous, especially if the monthly payment is high.
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
They are good people and I shouldn't complain. Also, hats off for being a single mom, I don't know how any single moms can manage it all!
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
@Partyof6? I make it through with a lot of curse words, and getting creative! On more than one occasion I've had to bring my son to work with me, which is highly stressful.
finally able to edit what I accidentally posted
finally able to edit what I accidentally posted
https://www.hrsa.gov/loanscholarships/repayment/nursing/
Are you able to look into this @foxrosy ? I don't think it's 100% though and have no idea how hard it is to get. Just came across it once...
@homemake I have looked into it. Most of the qualifying places are in low income clinics or places, which I'm completely fine with because the underserved population is where my passion is. Those places usually pay less and you have to work for about ten years to qualify. It's definitely something I keep thinking about. The other option is to work in prisons, which I'd also be ok with, but one of my patients who was previously a "lifer" but got released by some chance strongly advised I didn't do that. She believed so especially because I had a kid. I grew up kind kind of rough, so I'm not really intimidated, but some of the stories she told me definitely made me second guess!
He's used up all his benefits for education, unless he takes a "we pay for you to be a NP, but you gotta be one for us for four years". I mean, we would be paid well since he would be higher ranking, have a nice home etc. My inlaws would probably live in our house and make our payments.
I just have a fear of moving somewhere I don't know anyone and be forced to act respectably to people I don't want to be nice to.
Military wives, especially of officers and above, are expected to have a certain level of decorum, and I'm a wild hair to put it mildly.
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
@Lafreeman21 Student loans aren't forgivable in bankruptcy. That ish haunts you for L.I.F.E.
also, true that on student loans following you for life. Bankruptcy dismisses a lot of debt, but unfortunately not that
*Also, because of this, technically no doctor finishes residency with student loans. A shit ton of debt, yet, but none controlled by the government. And the last government made a big deal about how they were doing all these loan forgiveness incentives for rural practice as an election promise... when virtually no doctors would be able to take advantage of them... jerks.
I'm actually Canadian and I have a cousin who is in med school at Western. So I've talked to her a lot about this too.
In the states repayment will start at the end of med school if you don't match into a residency. But if you do match into a residency program, you can forbear for the duration of residency. However, of course, interest accrues. So we opted to just go into repayment and use H's 5 years of residency toward the 10 year required years before the remainder is forgiven. I would rather pay income based repayment when H is making $50k as opposed to when he's making $200k
@poetryandoceans one thing I always wondered about is how it works for Canadian med students who match to an American residency program
also do you mean Trudeau or Harper? Because fuck Harper.
My former best friend (I say former as a result of the following) is getting married in October. We were close friends in high school, best friends in college (roommates all 4 years and inseparable). After college we even moved out of state together and lived together for about 2 years. Well, fast forward to where I meet my husband, get married, and have 3 kids. Oh, and I also stopped drinking around the time I met my husband at 25. (I consider myself to be an alcoholic and my friend and I were bad influences on each other in that respect). Well, we kind of grow apart as a result of my no longer drinking/partying and having kids. She also never really liked my husband much. We kept in touch but didn't see each other quite as often. Having 3 kids 3 and under at one point made it difficult for me to even go out to eat, etc with her.
Well now she's getting married. It was obvious from the get go that I wasn't going to be a part of her wedding. My feelings were hurt, since we were BFFs for so long and had been through SO much together.(I'm talking some big, serious stuff). I'd ask her to meet up for lunch periodically and shed change the subject. On my birthday this year she didn't call or text me, just said something On FB. In an overly emotional state, I unfriended her on FB. I couldn't emotionally handle the "left out" feeling I got whenever I saw her feed.
She just had her bachelorette party and I saw pics etc as a result of mutual friends. Obviously she didn't even invite me to the wedding.
And it was Harper that was making a big deal about rural debt forgiveness. Never mind that out of all the doctors my husband and I know who do rural work (and that's a lot, rural is a big part of my husband's practice), none of them have ever seen a dime from them. Because fuck Harper.
But honestly, if someone unfriended me on FB with no warning or conversation, especially after growing apart for a while, I wouldn't invite them to my wedding..
I think she held a lot of animosity soon after I started having kids because she felt I wasn't making time for her. But damn, I had 3 kids in a short period of time and was overwhelmed. I don't think she will truly understand what it's like until she has kids.
I go back and forth between talking to her and just cutting my losses and moving on.