FFFC 9/9

sourlemon

Confess! 

*as always, not guaranteed to be flame free

slartybartfast

DS has had a bug and it's made him more snuggly. In fact, yesterday he fell alseep in my arms for the first time in like a year. I'm totally eating it up.

Also, we generally cloth diaper but when we put on a disposable, we let that thing fill (with pee, we change poops immediately). They are absorb so much and keep the moisture away from the skin so we just let it go til he has a cowboy waddle. I feel better about confessing this as I have recently confessed it to a couple friends and they do the same thing.

temmetime

DH is gone two nights every week.. I then typically spend time with family, clean our home, get groceries, meal plan etc. Well, for the last two nights, I have done absolutely nothing. I went straight home at 5, made myself some extra large portions of food and proceeded to watch tv until I went to bed.  For some reason, I caught myself watching Dating Naked, Love at First Kiss, Hallmark movies, and then of course the Broncos.  I don't even normally watch those kind of shows, but some guilty pleasure in me was fixated. I do love me some time alone.

Toller

I'm reveling in my new work from home days and eating mac n cheese for breakfast. I mean, hey- it's organic.....

mrsmerc2015

I'm really struggling with parenting my 5 year old. He started kindergarten this year after 3 years in a structured preschool setting. He is not adjusting to kindergarten well and I've already gotten a note home from his teacher about his behavior. He just won't listen/sit still/pay attention. We have the same issues at home. It makes me really scared he has ADHD and I'm totally in denial this is an actual possibility. It is something DH mentioned previously. He just can't focus. 
I was such a brown nosing, people pleasing, overachiever in school. I can't relate to his struggle at all.

Toller

mrsmerc2015 said:

I'm really struggling with parenting my 5 year old. He started kindergarten this year after 3 years in a structured preschool setting. He is not adjusting to kindergarten well and I've already gotten a note home from his teacher about his behavior. He just won't listen/sit still/pay attention. We have the same issues at home. It makes me really scared he has ADHD and I'm totally in denial this is an actual possibility. It is something DH mentioned previously. He just can't focus. 
I was such a brown nosing, people pleasing, overachiever in school. I can't relate to his struggle at all.

Is this a behavior change from his structured preschool? How long ago did his behavior issues start and was it only in relation to kindergarten starting?

l9i

@mrsmerc2015 ADHD isn't some horrible taboo.  Getting him tested is the absolute best thing you could do.  If he does have ADHD starting to address it now will be so much better in the long run!  I understand no one wants to admit their child has problems, but there are so many worse things it could be and it's something that can be very manageable.  

DiFazette

@mrsmerc2015 I'm in now way an expert on this type of thing, but if the behavior is new, it would scream less ADHD to me and more of an environmental change.  When DS has changed rooms/schools in daycare I have always requested a one on one with his teacher after 2 weeks to discuss transition as well as how they manage their room (warnings/repercussions) and find a way to integrate that into our routine at home.

I also will say, perhaps as my FFFC - that I believe you often find what you're looking for.  If you take a 5 year old boy to a doctor and say 'I think he has ADHD' you're most likely going to get a diagnosis.  

mrsmerc2015

@Toller
He's had attention/focusing issues for a while. It wasn't as big a deal in preschool and his teachers never said much about it. It was definitely behavior I noticed at home and when DH and I started dating, something he noticed as well. It seems to have gotten worse (or more noticeable/more concerning/harder to explain away with "oh, he's just an energetic kid" or "he struggles because the rules are different at my house vs his dad's house") in the last 6 months to a year. He's had some life changes in that time - his dad moved to a new place, DH and I got married and bought a house - but the difficulty focusing really started before that. I think it is just more noticeable now that he is in kindergarten, his teacher is more aware, and he spends more of his time with me and DH. His teacher hasn't said ADHD yet, but I think I need to schedule a conference with her/the school counselor to get their thoughts. If it is something we can manage and not just a behavioral issue I'd rather not wait too long. On the flip side, I don't want to medicate him unnecessarily.

He is a smart kid and had an extra year of preschool because of his birth date. I don't want to jump to ADHD if he is just bored at school, but the behavior seems to be mirroring what we've observed at home at this point, so it just seems like another red flag that something isn't right.

@l9i Thank you . It's hard to think about as a mom (even though I have friends with well managed ADHD and worked with kids for years and have seen the gamut of needs kids can have), but I don't want to sit on this gut feeling too long in a way that is detrimental to DS. 

phoenix870509

@mrsmerc2015 an ADHD diagnosis isn't the end of the world. I was diagnosed at 6 but my mom knew it at 3 (I could sit and watch a Disney movie, but not something segmented like Sesame Street). It sounds more like a transitional thing to me rather than ADHD. But yes, set up a meeting with his teachers and maybe a counselor. He might just need help coping with all the changes that are happening in his life right now. If he is diagnosed with ADHD feel free to PM me. I've had a lifetime of experience dealing with it.

My FFFC - I need a bloody drink! There's bourbon in my house tonight and you better believe I'm getting a sip in of it. Good lord this week!

cjt121413

@mrsmerc2015 I'm sorry your son is struggling with kinder. I agree that, based on the fact that he didn't have much trouble in preschool, it sounds more like a transitional struggle versus ADHD. I also agree with @DiFazette that if you go into a doc and state that you have suspicions about ADHD, you may well leave with a diagnosis. If his behavior continues to be a problem, I'd suggest play therapy to start versus seeing a medical doctor. Play therapists can help kids with behavior management, and the ones we've seen do not talk about diagnosing, they talk about problem-solving.

My son is in 2nd grade and has what I'd consider severe ADHD (I used to be a mental health caseworker for kids, so I've dealt with this a lot). In contrast to your kiddo, DS had severe trouble in preschool. He was kicked out or asked to leave three different preschools before we found one that specifically catered to kids with learning difficulties. His hyperactivity was uncontrollable and led to near-constant trouble from the time he was about 2.5. He also had trouble with hyperactivity at home, with my mom, etc. We tried changing his diet, play therapy, and parent training before seeing a child psychiatrist.

Good luck to you. If it does end up being ADHD, it is totally not the end of the world. DS is a very well-adjusted 2nd grader who generally does great at school, at home, and with his extracurricular. Feel free to PM me. I'm happy to help!

So my son's story is probably my FFFC. As much as I know that ADHD is not my fault, as a mommy, I blame myself to a certain degree. Mommy guilt is for real, y'all.

princesslockness

@mrsmerc2015 like others have said, ADHD is definitely manageable and can be an asset later in life. When I was diagnosed in middle school, we found that keeping my schedule full and a set routine really helped me. I never had to do anything beside caffeine until I went to college. Now as a teacher I love having it. It has truly made my job easier than most as I can't just sit and lecture- so my students and I have lots of get and do things. Some things you can try, that have helped me and some of my past students, just in the classroom- if teacher allows- are getting a yoga ball instead of a chair, having him use/play with a mold-able eraser, if they have 'quiet work time' or individual work time, maybe he could get an MP3 to use during those times and cut out other distractions.

princesslockness

My FFFC I willingly am moving back in with my parents until E gets here. I am no longer allowed to lift/wrestle with L, and I mentally can't take him not being in the same house as me- my parents would love to have him full time with/without me.

mrsmerc2015

@DiFazette @phoenix870509 @cjt121413
Thank you for sharing your experiences! I don't have a lot of friends with kids DS's age (none, really, they are all much older - like, closer to my age- or much younger), so having a group of mom's with kids in the similar age group is really helpful. 

And yes, cjt121413, the mom guilt is so, so real. For everything!

slartybartfast

I keep forgetting to brush my teeth.

SmashJam

@mrsmerc2015 as a teacher in a public school I will also say that, depending on the school, sometimes the expectations on a kindergartner vs. a preschooler can be a shock for kids. We have kids take sit down computer tests in kindergarten in my school! They are expected 1.5 hours of math taught a specific way, and do reading and writing workshop, often in groups, that require sitting and being quiet if they are not themselves in a group. That structure could just require an adjustment!

dmontgo

I'm at DH's college right now because we are going to get lunch and go Halloween shopping after class. I'm dressed how I normally would dress, did my makeup, and wearing a new septum ring. I try to dress myself in a way that gives me confidence, but sometimes it's hard when my belly makes me feel like a beluga whale.

Well, I'm walking towards the library...and a guy wolf whistled at me. Big ol' pregnant me. Normally I would say something and lecture about how disrespectful it is, but pregnant me is actually feeling happy that I still "got it." I feel embarrassed even saying that, not sure why.

slartybartfast

dmontgo said:

I'm at DH's college right now because we are going to get lunch and go Halloween shopping after class. I'm dressed how I normally would dress, did my makeup, and wearing a new septum ring. I try to dress myself in a way that gives me confidence, but sometimes it's hard when my belly makes me feel like a beluga whale.

Well, I'm walking towards the library...and a guy wolf whistled at me. Big ol' pregnant me. Normally I would say something and lecture about how disrespectful it is, but pregnant me is actually feeling happy that I still "got it." I feel embarrassed even saying that, not sure why.

Men are so weird! Side note, you totally still got it and no wolf whistle needed as proof... but I find men just bizarre. Like sometimes I find I get more random male attention while pregnant than normal. However, I don't think it's some perverse thing, I feel like there's a little spot in the male psyche that sees an expecting woman and, for some men, it pulls some funny strings... like the desire to care for her in some way... but then gets translated in a confused way in actual interaction. I've found it so funny. I hope to raise my son to be very in touch with his emotions because so many men in past generations were done such a disservice by society with expectations that they don't have emotions or need to overcome them. In other men, it seems like the reaction is almost to treat you like just by having a bump, you're asking for unreasonable special treatment and should be scorned.

HELLOOOOOO TANGENT!

sourlemon

Fffc: I can't stand my 2yo about half the time right now. She's a fit throwing machine and I just don't have the energy to deal with it. Then I feel like a horrible mom for feeling that way. It's all standard terrible two behavior but holy cow it's driving me nuts right now. 

Then this morning she woke up at 445 (15 minutes before my alarm) and was super sweet. We brought her in bed with us and she felt the baby kick and all my frustration went away...for 5 minutes before she threw a fit over watching mickey. At 5am. 

slartybartfast

sourlemon said:

Fffc: I can't stand my 2yo about half the time right now. She's a fit throwing machine and I just don't have the energy to deal with it. Then I feel like a horrible mom for feeling that way. It's all standard terrible two behavior but holy cow it's driving me nuts right now. 

Then this morning she woke up at 445 (15 minutes before my alarm) and was super sweet. We brought her in bed with us and she felt the baby kick and all my frustration went away...for 5 minutes before she threw a fit over watching mickey. At 5am. 

Our most challenging toddler days are still ahead as DS is only 1.5 but he has started laying down when he is crying because he wants something. I think he views it as a more impactful statement.

FFFC - I'm just like "yaaaasss he's stopped moving for a second..." and have no trouble waiting out the emotional performance with him. Passersby probably judge bad mom for the serene smile on her face while her baby boy is lying on the ground trying to articulate a sob story with wails and a few repeated syllables which only mom knows means "but I WANT to run over and touch the moving cars!!"

leksiL

I just ate an entire bowl of taco salad...fried shell and all 

dmontgo

@slartybartfast I think you are right! Since we mostly have guy friends, it's been very interesting to see how gentle and thoughtful our friends have been...but sometimes it comes out all sorts of wrong.

For the most part they ask how I'm feeling, I get to choose where we all meet for dinner, they can't wait to meet Ashton, etc...but then one of our closer guy friends said something so awkward. I'm not sure what he was trying to say, but he said something along the lines of that he would drink my breast milk if Ash doesn't. We've known him a while, and I know at his core he is not a creepster, but that was so, so awkward. I think there are taboos surrounding being attracted to pregnant women, and then you mix that with the lack of clarity a lot of men have when expressing their emotions...it can get weird, for sure.

slartybartfast

@dmontgo - HAHAHHAA that has me laughing harder than I have in days. Oh man. Thank you for that.

Austenista

I just watched the episode of Very British Problems about social interactions and their awkwardness navigating them. I now believe I was born in the wrong country. I'm so awkward. 

sourlemon

@slartybartfast the terrible twos for DD started around 14 months and have only gotten more intense. Her saying de jour is "I don't want nothing" while screaming/crying. The worst part for week stomached me is that she intentionally drools during fits knowing it makes me squeamish. It gets all over her face, body, floor, couch...anything. she thinks she's hilarious. 

Yesterday she even refused a bubble bath...with a tantrum of course...that's her favorite thing besides "mickey and Minnie on ipad". She works herself up so much she hyperventilates. Is that really normal? I wanna run away.

brittnic86

I didn't sleep last night. So I plan on doing exactly nothing today, while somehow still managing to look busy.

Shima42

The last few weeks, this pregnancy has made me a bit... excited, and I'm bi, but monogamous with my husband - so when I was a little attracted to the lesbian in my new D&D group, I had to keep her at arm's length.  Now I'm pretty sure that she thinks I hate her, but there's no way to tell her the truth without hurting my husband's feelings.  So now she's teasing me because she thinks if she jokes around with me, we'll be friends... :-(

dmontgo

@shima42 When that happens to me, I just tell my husband later and we use it for fuel for our own sexy time! No shame lady! I doubt he would be hurt--he'd probably find it very hot.

Shima42

@dmontgo oh we tell each other everything.  He just feels it would be humiliating for me to tell HER.

R0824H

It's baby fest at BRU and some of our big items are on sale....I'm probably going to buy them this weekend so that I don't have to purchase them at original price after our shower!

karmba

I've been on vacation all week and haven't gotten out of bed before 2pm once.  I honestly don't know what I'll do next week haha.

dmontgo

@Shima42 Ah! Pregnancy brain misread.  

ajstevenson

It's Friday, my boss left a 11:30 for the day and I have very little motivation. I've gotten a few things done here and there, but have mostly spent my time bumping and pinning recipes that I don't intend to prepare but would love to eat. And I fully plan to leave an hour early because I "worked" thru the lunch hour today.

Austenista

Here's a confession: I deeply hate social media and yet I can't stop using it. One of my major life goals is to get off the sites. So far, not much success. 

ea301

@Austenista me too! I am scaling back over time... but probably won't ever completely get off of social media. I wish i could!

Kacie209

In terms of the children not adjusting to school well... my second oldest nephew has autism (he'll be 7 in a couple weeks). The school that he goes to has never really had any kids with this, so they basically created rules/procedures for him, and how to incorporate him in learning, etc with his disability (I hate calling it that, but couldn't think of another word).

Well, I guess this year (they just started school this week), he keeps falling asleep in class. So, they're going to write in a "nap time" for him... if they notice that this continues going forward. He's in 1st grade this year.

I was like, oh, that's cool... but kind of weird at the same time.

yellingbanana

I enjoy reading all of the discussions, and I want to add to all of them. And then I feel like I'm spending too much time on my phone, on social media, and I hold back. But I want to throw in my 2 cents all the time! So sometimes I just read, and feel like a lurker. 

Also, of real confession is that my 9 yr old is overly giving my belly love. Sometimes we will be at the grocery store, or I'll be doing the dishes, or making dinner, and she wants to hold my belly for minutes at a time. It's really sweet, but standing is no fun these days so I just want to get my stuff done and sit. Honey, can I just get the groceries!?

zubenescamali

@yellingbanana I don't feel like a lurker and i'm the same way.  I read a lot but seldom have a full couple minutes to actually type something out.  i overcompensate by resurrecting old posts several days later when i actually have time.
my fffc is that i don't like any of the pregnant Halloween costumes. some are cute for pics but i couldn't imagine wearing that all night. 

whitneyp26

I fed my kids chicken nuggets and French fries for lunch and dinner one day this week. 

DiFazette

whitneyp26 said:

I fed my kids chicken nuggets and French fries for lunch and dinner one day this week. 

No shame in my book @whitneyp26.  DS still has weeks at 3.5 that there are only two options for dinner - chicken nuggets or grilled cheese.  He's starting to try more and like more but I feel bad giving him the same thing over and over.  It's the only way he'll eat!

phoenix870509

I got a sip of that bourbon tonight. So worth it. Just one sip (DH and I compromised).