Thanks everyone. We had no idea it was coming. They offered us nothing. Not the week of paid paternity they had promised, and no severance. They had also promised to reimburse us for a class DH is taking at night and now they're not doing that either, two weeks into classes. He's going to class tonight to see about payment arrangements for the class and to see if he can find and leads on a job.
Any advice on unemployment? We're in MA and neither of us have ever filed. At this point with just 6 weeks before I'm due, and if unemployment is decent, he might just plan to stay home until a few weeks after baby. If we stop having to pay for after school care for DS, and he can work a few side jobs (he's a plumber), it might just be worth it to take some time off. Is that wishful thinking based on anyone's experience?
@byebabybunting what a shifty employer. Does he have the pay for class in writing? If so, I would look into that. I can't believe they didn't offer any severance.
@byebabybunting
We dealt with unemployment when DH moved from San Diego to be with me as I started a new career in NorCal. I would have preferred he landed something before he jumped ship, but circumstances arose and he needed out of his position. I'm not gonna lie, it was stressful, and I can't imagine doing it on the cusp of having an infant. But you have the right attitude. Unemployment benefits can help bridge the gap, and having DH at home (even without a baby at the time) was really nice, because he always made sure to pull his weight around the house. (Having dinner on the table when I got home was something I missed when he went back to work)
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and even sorrier (<---that looks like a made up word) that his company stiffed him on training pay! But it sounds like you guys will make it through, and it will be nice to have some extra bonding time both before and after the arrival of your LO.
Unemployment specific advice - sometimes it is taxable, so make sure you are prepared for that come tax time. Also if he's not under your work benefits, make sure he signs up for the affordable care act, which should be covered due to his having no income. (Although at the time, DH and I were not married yet, so it may be different).
Ugh @ByeBabyBunting, I am so sorry! My DH got laid off right before I had my daughter 6 years ago. He filed for unemployment (we are in Texas) until he could find something new (he's a chef). It did work out for the best, but it is definitely stressful and I feel awful that you're going through that. Sending positive job vibes to y'all!
I had my first bout of bad indigestion/heartburn (I know poor me boohoo, only my first one, but I suffered horribly with my other babies) but my kids are in bed and I don't have a single thing in this house for it, and nobody is home that I can call to go get me some and H is still out of town working.
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Caution. May make many of you cry with me. Today my in laws, whom i live with, found out their dog has cancr in her mouth and throat. The vet says there is nothing he can do. So our two options are to keep her comfortable or put her to sleep. tfhe poor baby. She's a loving pit. TB won't let me upload a pic
I was walking back to work from my wax appointment today, and it started pouring. Of course, I had no jacket or umbrella. Just a skimpy cardi. A stranger who was waiting for the light to change asked if I wanted to get under his umbrella, then offered to walk me back (3 blocks) to my work. Of course, I was thinking "stranger danger!!!!!" ----but I really didn't want to walk in the rain. So I thanked him and agreed. We talked about when I was due, and I found out that he's a hairdresser and that he and his partner are expecting their first child through their surrogate in just a few weeks! I need to pay it forward and do a RAOK. His kindness makes up for all the times I was never offered a seat in public while very visibly pregnant.
@annabenanna I was at the grocery store the other day and was struggling to keep my basket from rolling away while I was attempting to get the baby loaded up, get DD loaded up, and load up my groceries. I was parked right up front by the handicap parking, and it's at an incline so my basket just wanted to roll away from me the whole time. Well, as people just keep walking on passed me and staring, a very elderly man pulls up next to me in a handicap spot, hops out of his truck, has a broken foot, but the first thing he does is hobble over and ask if he can hold my basket for me while I load the kids up. It was so incredibly sweet. Although It made me pretty irritated that out of all the young bucks walking back and forth watching, the only person to offer any assistance at all was a man in his 80's with a broken foot. Mamas, raise your babies right!
@AllyTheKid, isn't it amazing when a stranger surprises you by doing something good? It's heartwarming. Our grandparents would probably say "it's just having good manners!". Out here in SoCal though, good manners and being a gentleman seems to have gone out the window.
I know that I am about to sound pretty selfish here but... I went to my appointment yesterday, baby is fine, (thank God) but he is jus to big! I'll hit week 35 tomorrow and he is already 6lb!! I was really hoping to avoid C section and really wanted the all natural deliver, but now it seems quite impossible. DH was really not supportive, but realistic, "baby is fine, that's what matters" and I know he is right but still...
Now I have an appointment in 10 days to see how much he is growing, got to check my blood pressure daily and blood test to see if I have GD
@mayisch is that really that big? At 32 weeks LO was measuring at 4.5 so I am guessing he will be around 6lbs by 35 weeks. I think it's a larger percentile but not one that will force you to not deliver vaginally... unless maybe you're trying for a VBAC or have another pre existing condition (sorry don't know your situation). Also- weight isn't totally accurate. Plenty of women get large readings but have smaller babies. Mine went the opposite- they thought LO was gonna be 6lbs but he was 8lbs! That's a huge difference.
@serenaxo84 It's not VBAC, its baby #1 , I know it isn't totally accurate and Dr said he knew that I wanted a natural delivery so that's why I'm going back next Friday, to see how his growth was... I already cried about it, and I'll go for whatever is best for my baby, I won't risk him and I trust my Dr that he will stick to what I want.
Also, did your 8lb baby was C section or natural? I'm curious
@mayisch he was a planned c section because he was breech. So his size didn't really matter! But when discussing my dream of a VBAC for this pregnancy my OB was totally okay with me trying with another 8lb baby. If he was much larger then it would be a no due to it being a VBAC!
A girlfriend of mine just had a Successful VBAC with a 9.2lb boy!
I thought I cried while being pregnant, but PP crying is no joke. I have bawled, like giant cartoon tears, at everything since Hazel's been born. The first night home I cried because she wouldn't sleep, then I cried because my dad couldn't come over and drive us to our appointments (we didn't want to drive on zero sleep), cried at the lactation consultants because my boobs hurt and my husband fell asleep during the appt, and then I cried some more because I was crying! It's like someone just turns on a faucet and I'm at the mercy of it.
@nataliemaephotography You poor thing! It'll pass mama, don't you worry, and you really will be able to look back on it and laugh about all of the little things you cried about ::hugs:: Keep that chin up, it's not forever!
@AllyTheKid - it's situations like yours that remind us about the kind of example we want to be for our kids... So they're more like that older man, not all the young kids who didn't help!
@nataliemaephotography hugs! It'll get better! My friend (who NEVER cries) said she cried every day for the first 10 days of her son's life bc of all the PP stuff going on. Oh.... And don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you need help managing all the PP feels
@nataliemaephotography sending some sleep vibes your way. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I cried all the time with my first baby. I vividly remember bawling infront of the mirror actually wanting her back in my belly cause I was so sad. Not to say that it will be the same for you but I did develop post partum depression, so while some baby blues are normal if your still feeling really sad at your 6 week check up, make sure you mention it. I waited 5 months cause I was embarrassed, IRL I am not emotional intact I'm pretty damn level and in control of my feelings. I wish I hadn't even waited 5 weeks to say anything.
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@AllyTheKid - it's situations like yours that remind us about the kind of example we want to be for our kids... So they're more like that older man, not all the young kids who didn't help!
@nataliemaephotography hugs! It'll get better! My friend (who NEVER cries) said she cried every day for the first 10 days of her son's life bc of all the PP stuff going on. Oh.... And don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you need help managing all the PP feels
@nataliemaephotography totally what @bnsmith85 said. Your hormones are all over the place and it's totally normal. Let yourself relax and remember that you are doing a great job! Everything will calm down soon!
aww @nataliemaephotography keep your head up!! I'm already a bundles of feels, and mine isn't even here yet. Hopefully it blows over soon for you
I want to cry because movements of babe or super low today, and I'm just so sick of having so much anxiety over it all. I never want to go to the hospital because it's too damn far, and I have a job to do.
@AllyTheKid you popped into my head today - a senior woman got out of a car and was heading to a diner, she was hunched over and was holding onto one of the posts on the sidewalk (maybe waiting for her driver to park and help her out). A young guy, maybe 20s, came over to her within seconds of her resting at the post and asked if he could help her and give her a hand to a table. It made me think of your situation and @annabenanna's again faith in humanity restored - his mama did something right!
@LauraPCOS I'll tell you one thing, our son is the first person to the door anywhere we go. But he also genuinely enjoys holding open doors, helping people out, and just being kind in general. Obviously I'm sure he gets a kick out of all the praise he gets (so do we ) but all in all, he's just a sweet little dude who knows to treat others the way he would like to be treated. When did the golden rule stop being taught?
@mayisch- definitely don't be losing sleep over measurements taken at 35 weeks. They're guesses at best. Ultrasound predictions are notoriously incorrect either direction by a matter of multiple pounds.
You really won't know baby's size until they are here.
ETA: also, an 8lb baby is definitely not so big as to require a cesarean unless there are extenuating circumstances.
@allythekid - I love little kids that get the whole holding the door open for others thing. When I went to WDW last year, there was a boy who was a PRO at this. After the Snow White ride, he held the exit gate/door for over a full five minutes. He said he couldn't let go because people kept coming to the gate and he didn't want to be rude. Finally a cast member stepped in an offered to take over for him. It was adorable. We just stood around watching this little boy plead with his family to let him help others out.
6 days postpartum. I was SO excited to take Jake to his Dr appt today all by myself and turns out my mom took my car keys home. 2 hours away. I just starting bawling.
FIL is on his way now. We'll be late but it's okay. If I can't handle this, I can't handle Parenthood lol.
In the vein of kids being raised right: my nephew and dd wanted to play the claw game when we were checking out of Walmart so I went with them while dh finished at the checkout. I hate those claw games because it's like the disappointment game, but I gave them each 2 quarters and said good luck. Well my nephew got something and dd didn't. She's only 3 so she started crying and I told her (nicer then this, but basically) life is tough and she has to learn to deal with the disappointment. Well there was another little boy (probably 8) there getting his money out for the claw game and he came over and asked me if he could try to win her something.
It was so sweet. I told him it was very nice of him but she had to learn that she can't always win. He tried one more time to let me let him win her something but I still declined. But I thought it was so sweet that he did that.
Today is my brother's birthday and I am upset becasue we are real close and he is working away up north right now. I have my CS this Friday and sad he won't be around. I am a FTM and my bro has always been there for me. We were like twins growing up. He is 29 today and I am also 29 ... until October 6, which happens to be the day he comes back home from work. So at least I can see him on my bday. Seems so stupid to be sad over this now that I type it out. Ha.
Because Johnny is in the NICU and I can't hold him tight and love on him, this is the only time I've been away from Jimmy since he was born last August and I miss him so much it hurts, Addy is with her dad this week and I wish she was here with me so she could meet her new brother, and Mikey's real mom won't be able to bring him to see us until Friday... I just want my babies with me.
*HUGS* @AllyTheKid --- they will all be with you very soon!
Married 11-11-11 TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year. BFP 02-15-16 with our first IT'S A BOY!!!
Re: Why my pregnant self is crying - September 2016
Any advice on unemployment? We're in MA and neither of us have ever filed. At this point with just 6 weeks before I'm due, and if unemployment is decent, he might just plan to stay home until a few weeks after baby. If we stop having to pay for after school care for DS, and he can work a few side jobs (he's a plumber), it might just be worth it to take some time off. Is that wishful thinking based on anyone's experience?
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and even sorrier (<---that looks like a made up word) that his company stiffed him on training pay! But it sounds like you guys will make it through, and it will be nice to have some extra bonding time both before and after the arrival of your LO.
Unemployment specific advice - sometimes it is taxable, so make sure you are prepared for that come tax time. Also if he's not under your work benefits, make sure he signs up for the affordable care act, which should be covered due to his having no income. (Although at the time, DH and I were not married yet, so it may be different).
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
Today my in laws, whom i live with, found out their dog has cancr in her mouth and throat. The vet says there is nothing he can do. So our two options are to keep her comfortable or put her to sleep. tfhe poor baby. She's a loving pit. TB won't let me upload a pic
I know that I am about to sound pretty selfish here but... I went to my appointment yesterday, baby is fine, (thank God) but he is jus to big! I'll hit week 35 tomorrow and he is already 6lb!! I was really hoping to avoid C section and really wanted the all natural deliver, but now it seems quite impossible. DH was really not supportive, but realistic, "baby is fine, that's what matters" and I know he is right but still...
Now I have an appointment in 10 days to see how much he is growing, got to check my blood pressure daily and blood test to see if I have GD
@serenaxo84 It's not VBAC, its baby #1
, I know it isn't totally accurate and Dr said he knew that I wanted a natural delivery so that's why I'm going back next Friday, to see how his growth was... I already cried about it, and I'll go for whatever is best for my baby, I won't risk him and I trust my Dr that he will stick to what I want.
Also, did your 8lb baby was C section or natural? I'm curious
A girlfriend of mine just had a Successful VBAC with a 9.2lb boy!
@nataliemaephotography hugs! It'll get better! My friend (who NEVER cries) said she cried every day for the first 10 days of her son's life bc of all the PP stuff going on.
Oh.... And don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you need help managing all the PP feels
Not to say that it will be the same for you but I did develop post partum depression, so while some baby blues are normal if your still feeling really sad at your 6 week check up, make sure you mention it. I waited 5 months cause I was embarrassed, IRL I am not emotional intact I'm pretty damn level and in control of my feelings. I wish I hadn't even waited 5 weeks to say anything.
I want to cry because movements of babe or super low today, and I'm just so sick of having so much anxiety over it all. I never want to go to the hospital because it's too damn far, and I have a job to do.
@AllyTheKid you popped into my head today - a senior woman got out of a car and was heading to a diner, she was hunched over and was holding onto one of the posts on the sidewalk (maybe waiting for her driver to park and help her out). A young guy, maybe 20s, came over to her within seconds of her resting at the post and asked if he could help her and give her a hand to a table. It made me think of your situation and @annabenanna's again faith in humanity restored - his mama did something right!
You really won't know baby's size until they are here.
ETA: also, an 8lb baby is definitely not so big as to require a cesarean unless there are extenuating circumstances.
FIL is on his way now. We'll be late but it's okay. If I can't handle this, I can't handle Parenthood lol.
It was so sweet. I told him it was very nice of him but she had to learn that she can't always win. He tried one more time to let me let him win her something but I still declined. But I thought it was so sweet that he did that.
TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year.
BFP 02-15-16 with our first
IT'S A BOY!!!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020