Things NOT to say to pregnant women

catrb89

I've seen a lot of comments about this and figured we could have a little fun with it. I'll start with:

-"Back pain/frequent urinating/etc? That's nothing! Wait until _"

kjd291

"Are you sure you aren't having two!?"

CanadianintheSouth

Anything that involves a horror story about giving birth. Like what is the point sharing your horrible experience with me (this was when I was pregnant for the first time) when I didn't ask for it?

jmacd22

@kjd291 I've already gotten that one

anonellis

These are twin specific but:

"wow, I hope I never have to read this book."  -- woman at the check out counter when I was buying a book on twin pregnancy.

"wow, you're never sleeping again!"  -- several parents of young children when they find out we are having twins.  Yes, hahaha, hilarious, it will be a lot of work.  We didn't specifically sign up for twins, so laughing at us like we made a bad decision without realizing what we were getting into isn't helpful.  

AverageAsh

Anything regarding the horrors of birth/babies/toddlers. If it was as bad as people would have you believe, civilization would have ended long ago.

DrillSergeantCat

"You know how that happens, right?"

wintersong

DrillSergeantCat said:

"You know how that happens, right?"

My husband had a very Catholic co-worker whose wife naturally has a baby every 18 months or so. After kid #3 was announced his supervisor joked "You know how that happens, right?"

He made the joke for every subsequent pregnancy. DH's co-worker has eight kids. 

liepertsm

"Was it planned?" (I've been asked this three times. Why do people feel the need to know this?!)

kiyamurph

"Was it planned?" Why the F do people feel the need to ask this? Why why why??? How does that change the outcome? For the record, neither one of my pregnancies were planned per se, but we didn't do anything to prevent it either. We both knew we wanted kids and just let it happen when it happened. We didn't want to put pressure on each other and it was much less stressful this way. I'm not going to explain this to people though. At the end of the day, we're having a baby and we're happy about it. Who gives a rat's ass if it was "planned" or not?! End rant.

disneybaby84

Every time I talk to my mom, " How are you feeling?"  Some days I don't feel nothing special, I don't have to have a symptom every minute, I'll let you know uf I have a symptom that's note worthy

kjd291

Every single person we've told so far has asked "was it planned" because my babies will be 18m apart.  I don't know why people think this is there business. 

OctoberLove13

I have a co-worker that's trying to scare me with her pregnancy ideas. I'm 24 but I'm not naive. The other day she tried to tell me that my stomach will have a huge skin flap post baby that will never go away and that i'll have to lift it up for normal "activites". Yeah...okay lady. I don't need your opinions or ideas!! 

Edit: because my sentence didn't make any sense the first time. 

Finallyhismrs07

Basically everybody that has learned that we are having twins (my MIL included) has immediately said "welp, that means bed rest for you". Ugh....last time I checked I had a doctor to make that determination and I don't need your "expert" opinion on the matter........

mrsyimster

1. "oh you have morning sickness?! you should try to eat this this this this this this this this" (yes I don't want to think about all those things right now bc I want to throw up IN YO FACE)
2. "Twins... are they natural?!" - (they are REAL HUMANS!)
3. "why are you so big already?!" (my FIL said this to me, he honestly thought it was weird. yes 5'2" and carrying twins.. weird)
4. "its going to be hard, and your going to be so broke!" (Yah I know, but thanks for telling me that right now when I didn't ask for ur opinion or advice on it.)

mrsyimster

edit: I found the edit button finally on desktop =P

catrb89

It's kind of like, if you're not completely miserable while pregnant, people get suspicious and want to give BS "reality checks". Like we're not grown adults going into this with good intentions. 

littleSkittle14

I had our male landlord ask me after the birth of our first "so are you breast pumping?"   Gross. That's not even a thing. 

i also get/got  "was it planned??" "Are you excited about it??" And people attempting to persuade you that they KNOW the sex of your unborn baby if you're team green (which for the record, everyone thought they KNEW my first was a boy when I was pregnant... Turns out she's a pink-loving, doll hugging two year old girl now!)

KellyT22

"I didn't know you were pregnant!" to an 8 month pregnant woman you've seen every day of her pregnancy.

alexxapplepiee-2

"You think you're tired now, wait until they both get here!"
"You have to have ginger for nausea, that's the only thing that worked for my daughter and she was fine." (Yeah, that crap doesn't work on me)
Lots of other stuff that I can't think of but yeah.

jem89

I have been super sick with all of my pregnancies and always lose weight for the first half and re-gain it in the last half. Not a humble brag, it's not fun to have everything coming out of both ends for 4 months and lose all muscle tone. Anyway, a week before my due date (I was back to about 5 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight so I was unhealthily all stomach), my grandma tells me that I must have gained 20 lbs in my BACK. Not talking about my butt or something else, my literal back. I just looked at her in stupor. 

CanadianintheSouth

alexxapplepiee said:

"You think you're tired now, wait until they both get here!"

Omg this is the WORST. I want to smack anyone who says this to me, getting up with an infant is way better than trying to sleep 8-9 months pregnant with horrible hip pain and even worse insomnia. 

wintersong

"Are you going to get an epidural?"
It's totally okay for my sister to ask me this. 
It is not okay for the tech guy at my work to ask me this. 

Also, "Are you pregnant?" Seems innocent enough, right? A coworker asked me this when I was 8 months pregnant and the size of a minivan. I really wanted to say, "Why, does this dress make me look fat?"

littleSkittle14

alexxapplepiee said:

"You think you're tired now, wait until they both get here!"
"You have to have ginger for nausea, that's the only thing that worked for my daughter and she was fine." (Yeah, that crap doesn't work on me)
Lots of other stuff that I can't think of but yeah



Im stuck in the box!!! But YES to the stupid ginger!!!! Its like suddenly my whole family have suddenly become independent ginger consultants! My mom will call me like "Oh I'm at the store and they have this ginger candy here... Do you want me to pick some up for you?!"  NO!!!!!!!

julievdm12

longliveregina said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

"You know how that happens, right?"

My husband had a very Catholic co-worker whose wife naturally has a baby every 18 months or so. After kid #3 was announced his supervisor joked "You know how that happens, right?"

He made the joke for every subsequent pregnancy. DH's co-worker has eight kids. 

Best response to that I've ever heard:  
To a mother of 9: "You know what causes that right?" 
"Well, 9 times yes, but thousands of times nothing."  

julievdm12

OctoberLove13 said:

I have a co-worker that's trying to scare me with her pregnancy ideas. I'm 24 but I'm not naive. The other day she tried to tell me that my stomach will have a huge skin flap post baby that will never go away and that i'll have to lift it up for normal "activites". Yeah...okay lady. I don't need your opinions or ideas!! 

Edit: because my sentence didn't make any sense the first time. 

Lies. Unless you have an extreme situation, I call BS on that. 

ihateusernames*

"It better be a girl this time"


... Or what?!?

cluckymama

Ugh, my first pregnancy, my bosses mom decided to tell me about a really bad experience she had late in one of her pregnancies. It terrified me. I'm not going to repeat it because then I would be doing the same thing to you all, but it was something that you should never say to a pregnant woman.  

cluckymama

longliveregina said:

"Are you going to get an epidural?"
It's totally okay for my sister to ask me this. 
It is not okay for the tech guy at my work to ask me this. 

Also, "Are you pregnant?" Seems innocent enough, right? A coworker asked me this when I was 8 months pregnant and the size of a minivan. I really wanted to say, "Why, does this dress make me look fat?"

Ugh, I hated when that stuffed happened with my first. I really wanted to just look them straight in the eyes and tell them no and go about my business.

BelcherEars

From a friend who is currently dieting, when I told her I was pregnant:

"Does this mean at some point you're going to be bigger than me?!!!"

SMH. My response:

"I don't know. But you can rest assured that if you still weigh more than me at the end of my pregnancy, I will make sure you know." 

Mccolpitts

My MIL was trying to scare me off daycare and was telling me all the horror stories she could think of about daycare, preschool and kindy (teachers push/neglect/are mean to kids, etc). But the kicker was "NICU nurses are so jaded that they'll turn off oxygen on your baby just for something to do. I've seen it!" 

Ummm, no you haven't seen it because it doesn't happen, why are you assuming our baby will be in the nicu and who says ANY of that to a pregnant woman!?! This is part of the reason why we're not speaking. 

alexxapplepiee-2

One of the rude customers at work yesterday asked me if I was pregnant or just getting fat. I legit looked him straight in the face and said "It's a beer belly, just getting super fat because people will stop talking to me then." He shut the hell up and walked away. The look on his face was worth it. Everyone laughed so hard.

kiyamurph

Mccolpitts said:

My MIL was trying to scare me off daycare and was telling me all the horror stories she could think of about daycare, preschool and kindy (teachers push/neglect/are mean to kids, etc). But the kicker was "NICU nurses are so jaded that they'll turn off oxygen on your baby just for something to do. I've seen it!" 

Ummm, no you haven't seen it because it doesn't happen, why are you assuming our baby will be in the nicu and who says ANY of that to a pregnant woman!?! This is part of the reason why we're not speaking. 

What the hell?! Who comes up with shit like that? Honestly, of all of the things to lie about, how and why would you make something up like that? That's just awful.

Mccolpitts

@kiyamurph Shes something else for sure. In all reality I know that she just really wants attention and keeps talking until somebody reacts and/or she gets her way but that was just too much. I called DH in tears and things haven't been the same since. I'm super broken up about it, clearly.

JustAnotherUsername16

One of my students (college) said to me "But you're so pretty.... Why would you want to do this to yourself? I'm just sayin... I RUINED my moms body! She used to be so skinny and pretty and now she's fat and has flabby boobs and every time I look at her I think 'yea. I did that' and am proud of myself. Your kid is gonna think the same about you!" 

I'm sorry WTF did you just say to me?!?

wintersong

DaniBanani16 said:

One of my students (college) said to me "But you're so pretty.... Why would you want to do this to yourself? I'm just sayin... I RUINED my moms body! She used to be so skinny and pretty and now she's fat and has flabby boobs and every time I look at her I think 'yea. I did that' and am proud of myself. Your kid is gonna think the same about you!" 

I'm sorry WTF did you just say to me?!?

Can I just second your WTF? That is absurd to a ridiculous level. And it makes me concerned about a society where bodies are only for looking pretty. 

aerie_star

I'm so tired of 'are you excited' and 'how's the baby' from my coworkers. And a extra special wtf to the male coworker who told me 'I told you so' when he found out I was pregnant because he decided I took his crappy advice to have kids right away because 'I'm getting too old' (I didn't and I'm not even 35). 

dubcompanion

DaniBanani16 said:

One of my students (college) said to me "But you're so pretty.... Why would you want to do this to yourself? I'm just sayin... I RUINED my moms body! She used to be so skinny and pretty and now she's fat and has flabby boobs and every time I look at her I think 'yea. I did that' and am proud of myself. Your kid is gonna think the same about you!" 

I'm sorry WTF did you just say to me?!?

I'm thirding the WTF. I'm prepared for insensitive comments from a couple of my students who are on behavior plans and are in sixth grade, but a college student? I'm doubly concerned that there are people in college who think comments like this are okay.

dubcompanion

@aerie_star Re: the male coworker - Gross! I'm going to be absolutely mortified if any male other than my husband comments on my fertility/family planning. Sorry you have to deal with that in your workplace.

liepertsm

Recently someone asked me how I'm feeling. When I answered that I'm feeling pretty good she said "You know it's okay if you're not! It means a healthy baby!" 

Just, no.

littleSkittle14

julievdm12 said:

longliveregina said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

"You know how that happens, right?"

My husband had a very Catholic co-worker whose wife naturally has a baby every 18 months or so. After kid #3 was announced his supervisor joked "You know how that happens, right?"

He made the joke for every subsequent pregnancy. DH's co-worker has eight kids. 

Best response to that I've ever heard:  
To a mother of 9: "You know what causes that right?" 
"Well, 9 times yes, but thousands of times nothing."  

I've also heard that if you look them in the face and say quizzically "I have no idea what causes it. Could you please explain it to me!?!?" That is also quite effective lol