Flame Free (or not) Friday Confession

MollyandD

eggplantface said:

MollyandD said:

Sometimes I cheat when I play Words With Friends. I have a cheat app that tells you higher scoring words. I'm trying to quit so that I'm not horrible. I don't use the app when I play against friends. Only strangers. 

I used to play against a woman who would just destroy me and she didn't have a particularly large vocabulary so I started thinking she was cheating, so I quit playing. I didn't find it fun when it wasn't an even match.

That's what made me get the cheat app. I'd get destroyed by people using bizarre words I'd never heard of. I started using the cheat app when they'd pull weird words out. Now I've just been playing against my husband and friend, and I don't cheat with them. I stay honest if I don't play against strangers. 

bornmommy

@doxiemoxie212 - Got to be honest - I laughed when you I read you thought TTC would "spice things up."  Maybe its just me but when we are having "make a baby" sex its the least spiciest sex ever.  Especially as the months go by... sigh   Also - Am I reading your comment wrong?  Having a baby is not to recheck you into life.  If anything, those first few months after a baby are the most isolating of your life...  Maybe talking to someone about that before fully committing to TTC is a good idea?   

doxiemoxie212

bornmommy hahaha, I don't mean that a baby will FIX my life, I mean that I'm bored with my life. DH has been ready for a baby for years. I am ready for a baby as of two months ago. But a baby is also a change. It's growth. It's... moving something forward, the next phase of life. I think there is a part of me that likes the idea of irrevocably changing how my life is now, and that's a fine way to feel, but my life also won't really change until the baby is born, so it's sort of a depressing way to feel until then unless I decide to change my life before then. By life I mostly just mean my job. But I spend so much time at work it might as well be my entire life, lol. I guess I could just flip the statement to something that sounds more positive like, "I am excited for the change that a baby will bring." But that's just not my style, yo. 

bornmommy

@doxiemoxie212 - Change is hard, girl.  I hear you.  

lund

jennh75b said:

@tripledaggerWed95976 - maybe it's because of my age, but I'm pretty much on board with ya.  Plus I'm sure it has everything to do with zero spontaneity during TTC.  I've never O'd during sex...with anyone...so yeah, it only gets so exciting and then you're like...
.

Agree!  *TMI Warning* Another confession of mine is that I've never O'd with my DH period.... or any other person for that matter. I think I have some sort of psychological block, because I can do it on my own no prob. I enjoy sex, but like you said, it only gets so exciting. 

swanbrooner

@LuND @tripledaggerWed95976

I have only O'd once from sex alone, and it was the most boring, monotonous bang to get there. Not even worth it.

A friend of mine says she has one pretty much EVERY SINGLE TIME, and she is not the type to lie about something like that.

Sirius37

swanbrooner said:

@LuND @tripledaggerWed95976

I have only O'd once from sex alone, and it was the most boring, monotonous bang to get there. Not even worth it.

A friend of mine says she has one pretty much EVERY SINGLE TIME, and she is not the type to lie about something like that.

Oh man....I guess my confession is that I'm in the same boat as your friend. What can I say? DH is a giver. 

tripledaggerWed95976

Yah I've only O'd once from sex and im pretty sure it was only cuz I was drunk.   It's such a bummer cuz I know a lot women who say they always (or most of the time) O from sex.   Meanwhile, as some of u other ladies have said, I can make it happen on my own in less than a minute haha.   IDK how it's possible that i can get myself off so easily, yet I would be totally fine with never having sex again lol

doxiemoxie212

swanbrooner said:

@LuND @tripledaggerWed95976

I have only O'd once from sex alone, and it was the most boring, monotonous bang to get there. Not even worth it.

A friend of mine says she has one pretty much EVERY SINGLE TIME, and she is not the type to lie about something like that.

Honestly, for me to O during sex, it HAS to be boring. It has to be super quiet, and I have to focus really hard, and we have to do the exact. same. thing. continuously until it happens. Another thought cannot pop into my head or my body starts the build over. Ditto any variation in movement. It took DH and I yeaaaars to figure out how I could O during sex, but now that we have, it sort of feels like a chore. I'm like YO THIS WOULD TAKE 5 MINUTES IF I WAS ALONE OR IF WE DIDN'T CARE IF I O. It's nice after, though, I guess - I feel v accomplished when it happens.... but not so much so that I really care about trying to do it again for a while? eep. 

eggplantface

I have to use a bullet vibrator during sex, penetration alone won't work. Freaked out H in the beginning but he got over it. I actually was dumped once because the guy couldn't handle that his amazing penis wasn't enough to get me off on its own. I was like "Sorry to break it to you, dude, but most of the women you've been with were faking it."  

Westy99

I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT ALONE. I thought I was the strange one.  My BF gets off every time so I guess I thought that was normal.  

[Deleted User]

@Kiki75 #nuglyfe

laurad75

This thread is amazing.  I think its so important for women to be honest about their sexual needs but its so hard to talk about especially with a man who may be sensitive and take it personally.  I probably climax 50% of the time and if I'm not going to my H can tell he will finish quickly.  He also knows what works for me.  Often I really have to concentrate and I have a 'bank' of things I think about that make me hot.  There is some evidence that a female orgasm can help with conception.  Apparently the contractions you make help encourage sperm in the right direction.  In The Great Sperm Race they call it gourmet sex.  Obviously you can conceive without having an O but every little bit helps!  

I was feeling bad for the women who say they haven't experienced an orgasm but it sounds like most of you are making it happen on your own.  

swanbrooner

@Sirius37 Jealous! DH is very dedicated and giving to making things happen in other ways. He might be obsessed actually. Ha!

@doxiemoxie212 That is how the one time was, but it felt awkard and uncomfortable. Ha! 

@eggplantface We have a WeVibe2 that is pretty nifty since it is for the most part hands free. It took a long time to cross that line. 

@westy99 Normal as can be! 

hope for a baby

So glad I'm not alone!  Foreplay is great but BD is not as fun for me. My hymen had to be surgically removed as it was too thick, so intercourse has always been interesting.

Sirius37

hope for a baby said:

So glad I'm not alone!  Foreplay is great but BD is not as fun for me. My hymen had to be surgically removed as it was too thick, so intercourse has always been interesting.

This will likely make me sound naive, but I had no idea that was a thing. 

hope for a baby

@Sirius37 Either did I and the Dr. of where I grew up. I could never use tampons in high school or have sex and they always told me to "Just relax" which was infuriating. Then in college I finally moved to a big city and the Dr. knew right away what it was. Apparently it is more common than you would think! 

Sirius37

@hope for a baby 
That must have been so frustrating growing up! Like, thanks for reminding me to "just relax", I forgot to read that part in my Cosmo magazine.

I'm glad you were able to connect with a doc who finally knew what was up!

SP128

@Westy99 - Totally jealous of your maternity leave.  12 weeks? I get 6 weeks (using sick time) for vaginal and 8 weeks for C-section.  You can take a maximum of 6 weeks.  However, it would be unpaid. Wait for it... If you carry the health insurance, you would be responsible for paying 100% of the health insurance premium With that said, how quickly did I jump on DH's insurance? And.... they deduct it from your time served for retirement.

@antoto and @NYTino24  That was my plan too... Now it happens when it happens.  Don't have time to wait because of my "AMA" status. 

I also confess that I spend extra effort initiating during FW.  We are both exhausted at night but I tell him I need his "baby batter."   : )    He came up with the term and I can't go one cycle without bringing it up.  

 Edit:  Had to google how to insert GIF  - First one!!

jennh75b

@laurad75. Yes, I can definitely get the job done on my own, in a room with just me and my vibrator. H wanted me to use the vibrator on myself and watch me O but that causes way too much performance anxiety, but I did do it once to appease him.  I also pee when I O so that probably creates another mental barrier. I know some call it squirting but frankly, if it smells like pee, I will call it pee. 

On a sidenote I do O in my sleep if I am having a sexual dream. I pretty much know when I did.  But I don't pee then. 

NYTino24

Flame away! I made DH wear a condom for all of our relationship until the cycle before we got married, mostly because I hate the mess. He waited almost 3 years and 7 months to be able to do it bare when I got out of the FW. I've been letting him in occasionally while we TTA (and I don't even know why we are TTA then), but he pulls out because he wants to make sure I don't get KU until our Zika window is up. I told him it's back to condoms then because I've actually gotten close to an O (which has never been while DTD with anyone) and then he ruins it by PO. It's all so frustrating. Give me the baby batter!

stillclever17

Wow, I'm really appreciating my good maternity leave situation with my job after reading some of your posts. 

I have no problem with clitoral O during sex but I've never had one vaginally during sex. 

@NYTino24 My DH has been PO for 6 years and I hate when he "ruins it" like you described. I used to worry about getting KU from pulling out but since watching The Great Sperm Race, I'm like psht! Whatever!

My fffc is that sometimes I pee standing up. When I'm in a dress, wearing spanx, it's too much work to peel and fight them off every single time I need to pee. So I just stand over the toilet, pull them to the side, and take care of business. I'm not brave enough to sit down and pee with them on (have you seen how tiny that opening is?)

slaven

@EEL0824 I have sorority sister that I've recently got in touch with because we are both working out (as in fitness) but all she talks about is her failed engagement and her son. 

TW? Basically, she got KU on accident and her son was born 3 months early because she had high bp and he has lots of problems. Her bf proposed AT her baby shower (I think that's a pity proposal) and right after he deployed a few months later, she found out he was snapchatting and hitting up other girls in a not so innocent way. I understand it's all difficult for her, but she posts a million passive aggressive things of FB every day about how to treat a woman and blah blah blah and all she does is talk about how hard it is to be a single mom when she wasn't willing to work through their problems. I really have no nice advice for her other than should've kept your legs closed if you weren't on bc (she wasn't when she got KU). 

@swimsister I also am not a huge fan of Disney World (or is it Land in FL?) and I don't get the hype unless you have kids. I have a sorority sister who goes 2x a year and is having a Disney themed wedding....

@LuND @tripledaggerWed95976 @doxiemoxie212 @eggplantface I really only O if I'm on top or doggy style with some form of of clit stimulation. I get what I call "little Os" other ways but those are the only ways I get the "I'm now dizzy" Os

@jennh75b I've also peed when I've Od before on multiple occasions and now I always have to pee before sex

ETA words for clarity

amberruka

@hope for a baby I had that surgery too! It's called a hymenectomy (-ectomy = removal of). I was the 2nd person in 19 years my very, very old GYN did the surgery on. Couldn't for the life of me figure out why I couldn't wear tampons in school either!

hope for a baby

@amberruka  So glad I'm not alone here!