OMG I'm having such a tough time lately! I don't want to selfishly rant but I have to share somewhere and I know you all will understand so thank you for putting up with me. (Sorry for a duplicate March mommas)
I'm 10w2d and yesterday I didn't get sick in the morning...that of course made me a worry wart all day and I kinda had a breakdown when my husband got home, I soaked the shoulder of his T-shirt bawling my eyes out. I think I'm not just worried about feeling better too early and that being a bad sign but I think I need to acknowledge that my first child was due next week...I think I'm still grieving...I really honestly handled the miscarriage well and was able to process it but now that I'm in the time between when my last bean was lost and when I miscarried (9w - 12w) I feel so in shambles!! I check Bean's heartbeat on doppler every few days and he's still thumping in there, I'm just so afraid for him but more so I think I'm really thinking about my lost bean...on our due date DH and I plan to light a candle and say kaddish (Jewish prayer of mourning a death but which is really about exalting G-d)...it is going to hurt so bad but I think right now thats a good thing. Then the following week I have my 13w midwife appt and will officially be pregnant longer than last time.
Question: did you memorialize your lost LOs? If so, how? I originally didn't think it would help me personally but now I don't know...
Wow sorry that was so long but I gotta get these things out. Thanks for bearing with me.