Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

feeling worse emotionally after feeling better physically?

Has anyone experienced this? I had this with my last loss as well. It's like, once the physical pain is over the emotional pain sets in. I've always managed to keep my composure during a loss but, once it's over, emotionally I take a turn... I half wonder if it is a hormonal thing? 

I'm trying to stay as busy as possible now that I'm feeling better physically. It seems to be worse if I sit down (can't watch TV or read a book). 

Also, has anyone experienced post loss insomnia?  

Re: feeling worse emotionally after feeling better physically?

  • RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    edited August 2016
    Yes, yes, and yes. For me, when my mind was focused on getting through the physical part, I could look at things somewhat clinically. After I was in the clear physically, it was like my mind had no distraction from the emotional pain, and I felt that much more keenly. And after both losses, I slept like crap (tossing, turning, not sleeping) for several weeks.

    The best trick I found to help with the anxiety and insomnia was to find a task that kept my hands and mind busy at night before bed. For me, this was knitting. I'm still learning, so I can't knit mindlessly without messing up my work, and my hands kept moving too.

    Hugs lady!
  • @RiverSong15 thanks! I'm going to hit up pinterest for some craft ideas. The hand / mind thing makes total sense, thank you. 
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  • @iceandsnowflakes29 you're welcome! Searching Pinterest sounds awesome. I've also heard some people find adult coloring books really calming too. Hopefully you find something that works for you!
  • @iceandsnowflakes29 I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I don't hang out here that much anymore, but just want to offer my condolences. I am very sorry you're here again.

    And to answer your questions, yes, to all of it!

    DH and I have a habit of doing puzzles after our losses. We also got into coloring. Things that take a good deal of concentration that suck you out of the shitty reality are my goals in these times.

    Hugs to you. I hope you continue to move onward and find the comfort you need here and in real life. xoxo

    Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013

    2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages

    TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016

    2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN

    Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017

    May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714

    EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!  <3 E. L. A. born 12/7/2017

  • @iceandsnowflakes29 I don't come over here but I heard you posted and I wanted to come offer you all the love the world has to offer. I am so sorry you are back here. I know your journey has been such a roller coaster. You are such and amazing and strong woman. We were all missing you the last few weeks. I had periods of horrible insomnia post loss where my mind would not shut off and kept going through so many things, then I would get times when all I would do is sleep is like my brain was trying to numb itself after the emotional pain. It does get better. I use ear plugs and an eye mask now to help me avoid even the slightest distraction from sleep 
  • For me this was true. First week of d&e I almost felt calm bc at least the pregnanxy was officially over and there was no more worrying and anxiety and I finally felt a relief from that. Then my emotional state has fluctuated each week based on things going on in my life. It's been months and I'll have great weeks and then a trigger were happen and I'm right back to square one for a few days. I hope things get easier for you soon and that you have better and better days.
    Me:35, DH 37  ~ Married July 2014
    ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
    bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
    ttcal May 2016
  • No way guys! I've been making beeded bracelets lately. I just treated myself to some cool stuff from the big bead stores in nyc and lots of charms!!
    Me:35, DH 37  ~ Married July 2014
    ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
    bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
    ttcal May 2016
  • I forgot until just now that I obsessively made rice-filled flannel shapes to use to soothe sore muscles (you know, the things you can freeze or microwave).  I found using the sewing machine really soothing.  

    I know what you mean about not being able to watch TV or read a book, but I found that I could focus on certain cooking shows, and it took just enough of my attention to follow who was making what, etc. that it was brain-relaxing.  I got very into Food Truck Road Trip after my first loss, and then more recently Guy's Grocery Games.  Both are pretty non-serious, no yelling, etc.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • Definitely! It's still something I'm struggling with 6 months later but I'm getting counselling which is helping alot! My vice was cross stitching all hours of the day, although I will suggest get more craft things than you think you need. I finished all of my projects so quickly then satvdown like what do I do now haha 
  • edited August 2016
    After the jewelry craze, I plan to make candles. Needless to say, the in laws are getting bracelets and candles for Christmas. 

    We should just turn this into a post pregnancy loss crafts thread.

    Edit to add @BrightenMySky I am absolutely awful at all sewing projects but, if I get desperate enough for more distractions I suppose this is the perfect time to practice. 
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