I am currently PUPO, 5dp5dt of my first IVF cycle. I have been doing some reading of The Bump's Infertility boards and working up the courage to participate. I'll admit, after I read the section on etiquette for first time posters, I was even more intimidated. I'm a little stressed out about possibly offending someone without intention, so please bear with me. If I need some pointers, please (politely) let me know. I cry at the drop of a hat these days.
DH and I have been married for 7 years and TTC for 4 years. That's more than half of our marriage! It blows my mind when I think about it. We actually had a chemical pregnancy (this is the loss I mentioned in the subject line... I'm never sure if this is considered an actual loss, but wanted to warn everyone just in case. I had pregnancy symptoms and a positive test, so I guess it feels like a loss to me) our second month of trying. It was difficult, but we were optimistic that we were able to at least get pregnant our second month of trying. Surely we would be pregnant again very soon. Wrong!
About a year and a half after trying, I became very depressed. I felt unhappy and unhealthy. I'd never been one to exercise, nor was I ever overweight, but I just started to feel unattractive. All of my clothes felt too tight. I just felt like I needed to make a change to feel better about myself and hopefully that would help things with TTC also. So I slowly began exercising... Running and doing P90X3. I became in really good shape and felt really great in general. So we pressed on with TTC.
I feel like we had every test possible done and nothing could be found. We finally sought out a RE in fall of 2013. We went through testing there as well. The only possible issue found was a morphology issue with DH. Although, we were told it's not really a big issue because men are still able to father children with this issue. So we ended up doing 3 IUIs. With the first one, I did not take any medication. I had been worried about taking injectable fertility medications because my mom had breast cancer and back when she had it (about 14 years ago), her doctors advised against me ever taking such medications. I'd never even taken BCPS because of that. Anyway, the second and third IUIs I did with Clomid and Letrozole. No luck.
So then we decided to take a break from fertility treatments and go back to trying on our own. We don't have coverage for fertility procedures, so the costs from the IUIs had added up. I was also holding out hope we would still get pregnant on our own. But after enduring what felt like friends and coworkers constantly passing us up with pregnancies... and then SECOND pregnancies, I could take it no longer and decided we needed to give IVF a shot. Regardless of the cost, I didn't want to look back years down the road and wish I had tried it when I was younger (I'm 34, DH is now 40).
We went back to see our RE in April and began the talks, testing, and prep for IVF. I was on BCPS throughout much of June (research now shows that the pill and fertility drugs are not proven to cause cancer, so that eased my mind... and my mother's mind, to give this a shot) and a few days in July. I began injections in July (gonal-f and menopur... then cetrotide, and leuprolide acetate and novarel for triggers) and was also taking a prenatal, baby aspirin, and some supplements (vitamin d3, coq10, and DHEA). DH also took the coq10. I had my egg retrieval on July 20th. They retrieved 21 eggs and I began Endometrin the following day. I ended up to have some insurance coverage for medications, but was fortunate a close friend of mine who went through IVF had some Endometrin she never used and she gave it to me.
We received an update the day after retrieval (day 1). They decided to perform conventional IVF on 11 of the eggs and ICSI on the other 10 eggs. 7/11 fertilized and then 6/10, giving us 13 embryos. We received another update on day 3. All 13 embryos were growing and progressing. On day 5, I went in for an US to check for OHSS. Everything looked good, so my transfer was performed that day about an hour after the US. The RE told us we had 3 embryos that looked really good, and 2 that were a day behind those 3. The best of the 3 was transferred, it was one created with ICSI. Our RE had showed us a progression of six pictures and said that our embryo looked like the 5th picture, which was good.
I didn't lay after the transfer. Our RE said it was up to me if I wanted to lie down or just get up, because research doesn't show one is better than the other. Well when TTC on our own, I'd laid down sometimes after, with my legs in the air, gotten up right away, etc. I tried it all and one thing did not work better than the other, so I got up and we went to lunch. After we got home (about a 45 min drive), I took my dose of Endometrin and laid down for about an hour or so. The instructions I was given said not complete bed rest because that's not natural/normal positioning and can actually compromise blood flow. Intercourse is fine, as long as it's comfortable, though we've not ventured to do that yet. No heavy lifting, but low impact exercise is fine as long as I'm conditioned to it. I did some yoga later in the day. My RE said it would be fine.
I was kind of bummed when I found out the embryo that was transferred was only a 2AB. I expected better. An embryologist did call me because I had some questions about the grade. She told me not to get hung up on grades because they are mainly to describe characteristics of what they see, for example comparing brunette to blonde. She said we had a "beautiful" embryo and it wouldn't have been transferred if it wasn't. That made me feel better I guess... But I was more relieved when I found out they were able to freeze 7 of our embryos:
5 - 4AA (3 from ICSI, 2 regular IVF)
1 - 3AA (reg IVF)
1 - 3AB (reg IVF)
I was wishing we could've done a day 6 transfer instead, so there would be one with a better grade to transfer. However, I know, a great grade might not result in a pregnancy and a not so great grade still could. You just never know.
I'm just starting to go a little crazy. I still have 4 days until my beta and I'm feeling negative. I was positive the first few days, but the past two days I've been overcome with negative feelings. My body just feels so... Normal. For over a month now I've been feeling things... From injections, or egg retrieval... and then about two days ago, I started to feel normal... Like I did before I even began BCPS. I feel like it's not a good sign. I know I can't control what happens, but I am second guessing every move I've made this last week. Maybe I shouldn't have done yoga that first day... Maybe I shouldn't be doing the walking, pilates, or yoga I've been doing each day. A friend of mine did IVF with 3 fresh cycles and then finally got pregnant with a 4th FET. She said she didn't do anything from transfer day on during each cycle... She was afraid to even lift her purse! But I was told I can do everyday activities and I need to do some form of exercise... If not for my physical health, then for my mental health. I tend to worry and get stressed out and exercise really helps me with that. So I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement and positive thoughts. I keep telling myself that even if it doesn't work out this time, we still have 7 frozen embryos.
I'm sorry this was so long... But I feel a little better getting it all out... Thank you to anyone who read/listened!
Me: 35 DH: 41, Married since 2009
TTC since June 2012
Aug. 2012: CP
2013 Several cycles of TI with Clomid = BFN
Feb. 2014: IUI = BFN
June 2014: IUI w/Clomid = BFN
Jul. 2014: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Apr. 2016: Consult to begin IVF
May 2016 TI w/Follistim and Ovidrel = BFN
Jul. 2016: BCPs, baby aspirin, Vitamin D, COQ10, DHEA, Gonal F, Menopur, Cetrotide, Novarel, Leuprolide Acetate: 21 eggs retrieved, (10 w/ ICSI, 11 w/conv. IVF) 13 fertilized
Jul. 2016: Endometrin, Fresh Transfer 2AB = CP
Oct. 2016: BCPs, baby aspirin, Estradiol, PIO, FET 4AA = CP
Nov. 2016: Hospitalized for small bowel obstruction
Mar. 2017: Diagnostic Laparoscopy = Twist found in intestine - part of small intestine, part of colon, and appendix removed, bowel resection - caused by Endometriosis
May 2017: 3.75 Lupron Depot
June 2017: FET postponed due to complex cysts in breasts
June 2017: Endometrial scratch
Jul. 2017: Baby aspirin, Estradiol, PIO, FET 4AA (lost 1 4AA in thaw) = CP
Sept. 2017: ERA testing
Oct. 2017: Breast cysts biopsied
Dec. 2017: FET