Am I overreacting? MIL issues

bnt1023

For my baby shower my MIL bought my LO a preemie outfit.... I found it to be rude and upsetting. I know it may be my hormones, but how would this make you ladies feel? There is no reason to believe my LO will be a preemie and she is not measuring small. She's perfectly healthy actually. I've considered buying my MIL a wheel chair... just in case. You know to return the insult. Did i mention she threw everything out of the gift bags after i had opened them looking for this outfit because she didn't see me open it. Grrrr
*edit* i read everyone's comments and appreciate them. Just to add... she knew it was a preemie outfit because she yelled in front of everyone "i bought her a preemie outfit and didn't see Brittany open it"

marajay6

Not knowing your MIL and your relationship with her, I would say that you are overreacting. It could be quite possible that she really thinks the outfit is cute and doesn't understand the sizing. Some people really don't understand baby sizes - at my baby shower for my son who was born in November, an aunt gave me a summer outfit (shorts & t-shirt) that were size 3 months. My son never wore it.

Cricket Bug

I think you are over reacting. She bought the outfit because of how cute it was (and people sometimes equate small with cute) not because of the size. Take a breath and move on.

mrsvoorhees-2

Did you ask her about it? Like, did she intentionally buy her a preemie outfit? And if she did, do you know her reasoning behind it? If she knew what she was doing, maybe she just feels like newborn clothes look so big or something. I do feel like your overreacting, unless she had a rude comment to go along with the outfit.

reesaXden

Ehhh... I would just let it go.  I can honestly see how this could intially upset you but I don't feel it's really that big of a deal.  Maybe she just bought it as a "just in case" so that you would at least have an outfit in the event your baby came early.  

I went through something a little bit similar when I was pregnant with my first. My entire pregnancy my MIL swore the baby would be tiny. My Dh was only 5lbs at birth but my baby was measuring 3-4 weeks ahead my entire pregnancy.  She swore the dr's didn't know what they were talking about. "Oh just believe me, he will be tiny just like his dad was!"    The night before I went in to be induced, she said "I'm telling you, baby will be 6lbs at most!"

You can imagine my selfish satisfaction when baby came out 8lbs1oz at 38 weeks.   
This baby is measuring the same way so I'm banking on her being big like her big brother.  My MIL made the comment last week "just remember that babies can surprise us.  Remember how surprised everyone was when Clark was 8lbs.  Even your dr couldn't believe it."
Ummm... Yeah.  

MILs can be weird sometimes.  It's just an outfit and not worth getting bitter or upset over.  
Just brush it off and laugh about it later.  Keep the tags on it and you can re-gift or sell after the arrival of your newborn.  

hey_clever_girl

I think those hormones may be getting to you just a bit, but I totally get it. Everything is pissing me off right now. Every little thing people say to me at work comes across as offensive or unreasonable. I think it's possible your MIL snagged the wrong size, or thought it was just really cute with how small it was. Take a deep breath & have something yummy to eat. That always calms my rage slightly.

BabyBoyH92016

I wouldn't read too much into it. If my mom or MIL bought a preemie outfit, I would assume it was by mistake or that they didn't understand sizing and just bought the smallest outfit thinking that's what would fit a newborn. It would never cross my mind that it was because she thinks my baby is going to actually be premature or is unhealthy. Also, my mother still likes to buy me shirts and dresses and buys them in a variety of sizes. When I question the size (because I'm not a small and she knows that) her response is, but it was on SALE...its stretchy it will fit.  

vampirina

I agree - I think you're overreacting. My guess is that she either a) didn't really look at the size or b) thought you'd might want at least one outfit just in case. But at the same time, I'd probably overreact too. MIL could buy us a brand new house that was absolutely perfect and I'd still find a way to be pissed off about it because MIL in general is making me ragey despite the fact that she's generally a pretty okay person. We have our issues but she tries. 

And @reesaXden - I'm kind of going through the same with my MIL! She insists this baby will be 9-10+ lbs just like all of her kids. "Just you wait, you'll see!!!" All of my mom's kids were 7 lbs or less so.... And I'm like a full foot shorter than her, so it's not like I have as much growing room going on as she did. She also thinks I'll have a really fast labor, like she did, although all the ladies in my family have had to hunker down for 20ish hours to meet their babies. Apparently marrying her son also means I inherited all of her babymaking, laboring and birthing genes or something, and she just cannot believe how different my pregnancy experiences is. Like she really thinks I'm lying about the fact that I didn't throw up a ton in the first tri because she threw up all the time... So obviously I'm lying about it. And I'm secretly hoping I have a smaller, but still really healthy, baby so I can be like see! SEE!!!! NOT ALL OF THE KIDS WILL BE HUGE!

MILs can be SO weird sometimes!!!! Especially when it comes to their grandchildren. 

reesaXden

@PoodleDoodleOoo Yes! Everything you said sounds just like my MIL.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who selfishly wants a certain size baby just for the satisfaction of MIL being wrong and having to eat her words! 

(Of course, all that matters is that the baby is healthy.)

mamadomino

I would let it go.  A family friend bought me two 12 month size outfits that she "hopes they can wear this fall".  I'm pretty sure my twin girls who will be born before or at 37 weeks won't be the size of a one year old within a few months.  People just don't think. 

mrsvoorhees-2

Commenting again, lol, I think the only way I would be mad is if she had some
comment, like, "well, you don't eat enough so she will probably be small". That would piss me right off.

so you don't stew on it and it not be for a good reason, j would call and ask her where she got it so you can get it in a NB size, and mention that it was a preemie size and see what she says.

erinmarie86

I didn't read all of the posts...but i do think you might be over reacting.  I know i have made the mistake of purchasing a preemie sized outfit as a gift before.  It said "Little Brother" and the person was expecting their second child (a son)...i had never really looked at clothing size before.  And to be honest i don't think many people think about the size they are purchasing, they just pick up a cute outfit.  I've gotten some really cute summer outfits for size 3-6 months.  By the time my daughter is even 3 months old it will be cold where i live.  These are just things people don't think of unless they have kids.

I would just say something to her like, "I really like the outfit you picked out, but it's size preemie.  Can i get the receipt to exchange it for a larger size just to make sure our LO can actually wear it"

nativetexan512

I'll say, before getting pregnant I had zero clue about baby sizes. And to some extent I still don't because the sizing seems so inconsistent. My sister gave me her "0-3" month clothes, and there were items in there tagged as 6-9 months, and even 9-12 months. Maybe they shrunk, but they are tiny!

AnnaS930

I'd be much more offended if my MIL bought me something that was a XXXXXL. Ya know?  Unless there have been comments about you not doing a good job at growing the baby or something to accompany the size she chose, she might just be a dingbat.

tinypikachu

AnnaS930 said:

I'd be much more offended if my MIL bought me something that was a XXXXXL. Ya know?  Unless there have been comments about you not doing a good job at growing the baby or something to accompany the size she chose, she might just be a dingbat.

My mom has gifted me several 2 and 3X shirts, after I get them, she always asks, "they're not too tight, are they?" and then acts all surprised when I tell her that of course not. I'm a size 12 and L and she's always made a big deal about my weight. Does that count? Lol

AnnaS930

AlwaysAuntNeverMom said:

AnnaS930 said:

I'd be much more offended if my MIL bought me something that was a XXXXXL. Ya know?  Unless there have been comments about you not doing a good job at growing the baby or something to accompany the size she chose, she might just be a dingbat.

My mom has gifted me several 2 and 3X shirts, after I get them, she always asks, "they're not too tight, are they?" and then acts all surprised when I tell her that of course not. I'm a size 12 and L and she's always made a big deal about my weight. Does that count? Lol

That 100% counts. I went a little overboard with my X's, because I really didn't want the comment to be offensive to anyone wearing XXL, etc in regular life.
My husband's grandparents used to always do the same thing to him.. give him shirts that were obviously double his size, and would bring up at family dinners how they've "All been talking about how worried about your weight we are" yadda yadda yadda. So clearly the jumbo shirts were really how they saw him.  I'm all for family having open conversations if really worried about each other, but not in the middle of a holiday dinner.. and not when I was there (especially when in early stages of dating).

AnnaS930

@AlwaysAuntNeverMom - I'm taking over this thread, but I think you'll like this one even more.
My friend is a size Large. Her MIL always buys her things that are Smalls.  Last Christmas she bought her a fleece vest that was an XS, and said to her "I know it probably won't fit you, but I just LOVED the color and couldn't pass it up"

... it was brown.

tinypikachu

@AnnaS930 fabulous. Some moms and MILs just know how to build up that self esteem, huh? My mom used to get me S and XS a lot too, when they obviously didn't fit me and then jumped to the XXL and up range. I've even gotten 24W things from her.

camichael84

@AlwaysAuntNeverMom My goal is to never do to my daughters what your mom does to you. 

My MIL tries to give me her old clothes, and she's half a foot shorter and several sizes larger. I don't know how in her mind anything she wears will fit me. Or why I'd want a 50 year old woman's hand me downs. I mean, there probably are 50 year old women that I'd love to have their old clothes (like Sanda Bullock... if I could fit in her clothes), but MIL is not one of those women.

ruemcclanahan

My mom was always buying me things 2 or 3 sizes too big. Ugh it was the worst feeling

homebird

Yeah ... I'm going to say overreacting. Your kid might not need newborn outfits either, but we usually buy those, right?

It could be she didn't realize it was a preemie outfit, or she just thought she was being helpful in a "just in case" scenario. Some babies are just born small! I doubt she meant to imply anything by getting it for you.

marajay6

I normally wear a L, sometimes an XL, shirt. A couple years ago for Christmas, an aunt had gifted me a shirt that was size XXL. The gift came with a really long explanation about how she saw the shirt, thought of me, realized that it ran very small, then debated whether she should get it or not. She didn't want to buy me a shirt that was too small to wear nor did she want to buy me a shirt with a label size 2 sizes higher than my normal size. She was very sincere about not wanting to offend me. And I love the shirt, wear it all the time, and it fits great.

KimmySchmidt

The jury is in. Yes, you are overreacting.

rn1stbae

Eh.  My husband bought a bunch of shortsin 6 month size....for February....after he cautioned me not to go crazy spending too much money on baby clothes.  I was like.....uh....cool, he won't get to wear these.  

mrsvoorhees-2

RN1stBae said:

Eh.  My husband bought a bunch of shortsin 6 month size....for February....after he cautioned me not to go crazy spending too much money on baby clothes.  I was like.....uh....cool, he won't get to wear these.  

I wouldn't count those out just yet! 

diagonalley

I'm with everyone else, overreacting. I also know people who had perfectly healthy full term babies that were just tiny and needed preemie clothing as a result. I'd let this go.

eightynine

I feel like she probably just picked the wrong size? Unless she said something that makes you think otherwise. 

My mom buys me clothes way too big for me too. I was a size L prior to pregnancy and when I was less than 4 months pregnant she bought me a men's 2xl tshirt (our ncaa bball team was in the final four). But I was like... Really, mom?!

guitarra1614

reesaXden said:

Ehhh... I would just let it go...

MILs can be weird sometimes.  

Amen. Preach.  

Shiva14

MrsVoorhees said:

RN1stBae said:

Eh.  My husband bought a bunch of shortsin 6 month size....for February....after he cautioned me not to go crazy spending too much money on baby clothes.  I was like.....uh....cool, he won't get to wear these.  

I wouldn't count those out just yet! 

This!^ Those baby shorts fit my DS forever. I can still squeeze him into 18 months shorts now that he's 2! They are a little short but the waist fits great, and the 2Ts have a great length but the waist is way big. He was like that as a baby too, tall and lean. So hold unto them just in case

vampirina

RN1stBae said:

Eh.  My husband bought a bunch of shortsin 6 month size....for February....after he cautioned me not to go crazy spending too much money on baby clothes.  I was like.....uh....cool, he won't get to wear these.  

Maybe use it as an excuse to take babe somewhere warm this winter. Because obviously, that is the only way to not be wasteful. Don't return the shorts, just go on vacation

mamadomino

@Shiva14 totally!  My almost 2 year old regularly wears 12 mo shorts.  He's so skinny that bigger sizes don't fit in the waist and the length isn't as big of a deal. He wears 18-24 mo pants for length so whatevs. 

AnnaS930

mamadomino said:

@Shiva14 totally!  My almost 2 year old regularly wears 12 mo shorts.  He's so skinny that bigger sizes don't fit in the waist and the length isn't as big of a deal. He wears 18-24 mo pants for length so whatevs. 

My son is 19 months and certain brands the waist of 18 months fits him perfect, others the shorts can fall right off (Carters.. why are your waists so enormous?) We try to find "functional drawstring" but then the waist is wildly bunched the whole way around).  His swim trunks are 12 months and will easily take him through the end of the summer, he has yet to wear his 18 month pair.. but maybe this boy will as he'll be close to 2 by the end of Summer 2018. hahaha.

Ltoplin

Im sure she didnt know