Delivery Room- Who Will Be There? — The Bump
February 2017 Moms

Delivery Room- Who Will Be There?

Since it was semi-brought up in the randoms thread, I'm curious to know if anyone has put any thought into who will be in the delivery room with you when you give birth.  

Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17

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Re: Delivery Room- Who Will Be There?

  • edited July 2016
    For me, we've already decided that it will be just me and DH.  My mom will be watching DS while I'm in labor/giving birth.

    It was the same for DS.  It was such a private and special moment that I wanted it to just be us.  Andplusalso, my vagina is not a sideshow event.  Even though I had a c-section, there were nurses poking and prodding prior to that and

    We aren't anticipating a lot of visitors afterwards but MIL has already mentioned wanting to 'come up for awhile to help,' which is way too open-ended for me.  

    Big Bro 7/14/13
    Little Bro 2/6/17

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  • My husband. And I would like my best friend to be there too...but not sure if hubby is cool with we'll see. But other than my bff, just my husband.

    ME: 25, DH: 27

    TTC #1 since 09/2015

    Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016

    BFP 05/28/2016!

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  • I was just asking on randoms too, so good thread! 

    I think at the moment, we are leaning towards saying parents and siblings can pop in to say hi while in labor, but for actual pushing everyone out except DH. I really don't want everybody and their brother in the waiting room.

    But, I'm really wanting to try a med-free delivery, and I may be too uncomfortable for visitors. 
    Rainbow baby Dean is due 2/17/17!
  • Just me and my DH - and it would be that way even if we weren't relatively new to the area. 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---

    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017

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  • With my daughter my mom and DH were there and it was so awesome to have her support esp because DH was kinda clueless on how he could offer his support. This time around I feel like we've both got this and it will just be me and him. 
  • We are having a home birth so it'll be my husband and my kids, plus our midwife, her assistant, our doula and our birth photographer.  My mom will also be here this time, which I'm really excited about.  She hasn't been with me during a birth since I had my oldest 19 years ago.
    Expecting #5
    Rainbow baby after 3 losses
    Due February, 2017

  • Just hubby - same as before.

    Both our parents came to visit earlier in the day while I waited the pictocin out (I was induced). I kicked everyone else out when things got intense.

    Our recovery room was a circus after Gwen. We had people there all the time. Which was fine because I wasn't sleeping well anyway!
  • H and only H! Nobody else has asked yet, luckily. I think if MIL was going to she would have already. We'll allow hospital visitors after I (hopefully) BF and get cleaned up. 

  • GingersnapGingersnap member
    edited July 2016
    Just H. 
    ETA: when I was pregnant with DD, MIL asked and was butt hurt when I said no effing way. 
    My Mom, however, was like "ummmm, you don't want me in there do you? Because I really don't want to be"  :D
  • Just my husband.  My mom mentioned the other day that she plans on being there.  I squashed that nonsense right quick.  Nope nope nooooope.  
  • Just my DH and I. My family usually waits in the waiting area and comes in after they clean the room or they wait until we move out of the delivery room and into the regular room. I just feel like it's a special and intense moment that more people make it more stressful, but that's just me. 
  • aecmaecm member
    I'm stilling still trying to figure this out. Thankfully there's still a lot of time, haha! DH will def be there. My mom asked if she could be there as soon as she found out I was pregnant, which surprised me. I told her "maybe." Honestly between my parents and DH, I know the best person to comfort me during labor is probably going to dad. #awkward. I mean, I don't want him observing the nurses checking me "down there" and all that stuff, but he's by far the best caretaker of the three!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • DH  only. I had my mom there for my first and very much against my wishes my MIL was there too. My mom who has given birth 10 times got dizzy when I was pushing and sent to sit and decided the spinny doctor stool was a good idea. She missed the seat and fell head first onto the floor. So I'm trying to push and freaking out because my mom just hit her head. She was fine but they filed and incident report. For my next two pregnancies I gave the nurses my MIL's name and told them if she showed up she wasn't allowed in. Yeah, so just DH.
    Rachel, mama to Ava (6), Olivia (4), Nora (2), and baby#4 on the way.

  • Just DH and possibly a doula if we decide to go that route. The family that knows currently is already being inappropriately pushy that things be "fair"...fair for them, not us ;) so right now we're leaning towards calling them after the birth.

    I like the idea of the birth being as private as the conception was.
  • DH will be there, same as last time. 

    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013 

    Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
  • Just H. I also think it is just too private and special a moment to share with anyone else. Mom and ILs can wait in the waiting room until we are ready. 
    Married 2/12/2015
    PCOS Dx June 2016
    BFP #1 8/4/2015, MMC 9/24/2015
     DD 2/13/2017 
    BFP #3 8/24/2017, MC 9/20/2017
    BFP #4 11/14/2017, CP
    BFP #5 1/5/2018, MC/BO 2/17/2018
    BFP #6 7/15/2018, CP
    BFP #7 12/15/2018, EDD 8/28/2019
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  • Just DH.  I'll likely be induced, so if I feel good and I'm just waiting on things to get going and people want to say hi they can, but when things start getting serious it will be me, DH, and medical team.  No one needs a free ticket to that show.  
  • I think I'd like my Mom there, but not sure how DH will feel about it.  A few years ago I had surgery to remove endometriosis and I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and threw a fit in recovery until the brought me my mother (normally they don't allow visitors in recovery, but apparently I was completely unmanageable so they caved).  They came down to the waiting room and told my parents I was asking for them and when my dad tried to come up they told him, "No she just wants her mother."  And my poor dad was crushed, so I might just not let anyone in but DH so I don't hurt my dad's feelings by only asking for my mother, but when the pain comes I suppose we'll see.  I could want my Daddy in that moment too.

    DH's parents live over 12 hours away by car so no risk of them showing up and asking to be in the Delivery room, so I don't have to worry about discluding (is that a word?) them, but including my parents..  Unless it takes me days to deliver, which with my luck it could.
     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16

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  • Just husband. I don't need to world to be part of that. 

    ** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **

    Me: 31+ H: 32
    TTC Since 11/2015
    #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
  • DH  only. I had my mom there for my first and very much against my wishes my MIL was there too. My mom who has given birth 10 times got dizzy when I was pushing and sent to sit and decided the spinny doctor stool was a good idea. She missed the seat and fell head first onto the floor. So I'm trying to push and freaking out because my mom just hit her head. She was fine but they filed and incident report. For my next two pregnancies I gave the nurses my MIL's name and told them if she showed up she wasn't allowed in. Yeah, so just DH.
    Wow, what an ordeal!  It's a good idea to give the nurses a heads up.  They will be your biggest advocate and double as bodyguards.

    I've heard some crazy stories about grandparents/ILs trying to sneak into delivery rooms.  Like, WTF is wrong with you??  

    Big Bro 7/14/13
    Little Bro 2/6/17

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  • You are amazing @blush64!!!!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Just DH. We will tell our families that we are in labor but I don't want to see anyone until baby is out, I am cleaned up, baby is fed, and DH and I have had some time to spend with baby before everyone steals her* from me. I like how @yogadevil said it that birth should be as private as conception for me. 
  • Only DH and medical staff. I think we will tell DH's family when I go into labor and they are welcome to stay in the waiting room or just come when the baby is here and everything is cleaned up. My parents like ~8hrs away so I told DH I don't want to tell them until the baby is actually here but idk. We shall see if their attitude improves or maybe I'll wait a week or so to tell them...
    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Married: October, 19, 2015
    EDD 2/22/17 <3 DS1 born on 3/2/17
    EDD 3/8/20 <3 DS2
    (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)

  • You are amazing @blush64!!!!
    I second this @blush64
  • lap018lap018 member
    Only DH, it was just us last time as well, I've learned that once the pushing starts and you have your legs wrapped around the back of your head that whole "standing at your head/behind the blanket over your knees" is a bunch of BS everything can be seen from anywhere in the room so please don't be under the impression that someone being at the top end means they won't see because they will, and it will be weird if you weren't expecting that ahead of time! Also yes to limited people in recovery not just because of the breastfeeding which people cannot take a hint, please get out and don't make me hide to breastfeed while I am recovering from childbirth (my grandmother) but also because I had the WORST gas after giving birth! Even in my sleep I was ripping the longest loudest farts and our pasted and associate pastor came by while I was asleep, I asked DH if I farted while they were there and he swears I didn't but I'm not so sure .....
  • You are amazing @blush64!!!!
    I second this @blush64
    Thanks for saying that but I only wrote so much because of trying to explain my reasoning. I honestly do feel guilty for wanting to deliver alone but I want to end the process as comfortable as possible. I was prepared for a lot of negative reactions.
  • HeatSparksHeatSparks member
    edited July 2016
    Ok, I'll be the weirdo. My sister is an L&D nurse where I'll deliver, so she'll be my nurse. And my mom was present with my first two. I had HELLP with #1 and my ex was a total POS during the whole thing. Idk what I would have done without her there.

    ETA: its policy where I'm going to deliver twins on the operating table, so likely it will be my husband and my sister 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • The same as what I had with my first. My DH, my mom and my MIL. MIL was REQUIRED to stay above my head though. I don't like conflict and I didn't want to hurt my husbands feelings so I told him to tell her if she wanted to stay she was welcome. I will give the same option this time, but I am hoping she says that she will stay in the waiting room with the rest of the family and my son.
  • For DD, both my parents and dh's parents hung out in the room right up until it was go-time. 
    I will NOT be doing that again- that was 19hrs that DH and I could have been sleeping and just relaxing. We were both so exhausted it wasn't even funny!! 

    We we will call our parents to head up to the hospital when we get the go ahead to push, but it will be just us in the room again

  • DH, my mom, and my doula. And my sister if she is able to fly in for it. I love DH and know he will be awesome but I want my mom there because she's done it before, and my sister because she'll be doing it in the future so she might as well see what all goes on.
  • Medical staff (MW+1-2 RN's), my husband, my doula. Potentially a birth photographer.

     <3 DD1- Aug11 <3o:) Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 o:)<3 DD2- Aug13 <3<3 DD3- due Feb17 <3

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • C-section so just H. When I attempted to deliver my first I had my mom and sister in there as well. I wish my mom could join us for the c-section as well but they only let one.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Just DH. Last time, we had people pop in when there wasn't much going on (after I got the Epi - tried to go natural and I didn't make it) and said hello and gave their good wishes. When things got too real too fast, it was just DH and that is the only way I would ever want it. I actually wish I would have waited longer before accepting people in the room. It was an hour later (skin to skin time) and I was still basically naked and people were coming in to hold the baby and I was eating a boxed lunch for the first time in a day. Granted, it was late at night and I knew people wanted to get on their way home but still.. 

    One thing I will request this time is that as many people as possible try to visit at home rather than in the hospital. I agree that trying to BF was challenging with so many visitors and unfortunately, I believe it was a part of why I ended up exclusively pumping. Plus I want to get in and get out ASAP. 
  • FWIW, the doula who is the head of "To Labor" suggests that if you are unsure of who to have in your delivery room that  you only allow those who you would be comfortable having an orgasm in front of. I think this is a bit extreme, so I tell my clients to envision having a conversation while taking a poo on the toilet. Who are you comfortable with? 

     <3 DD1- Aug11 <3o:) Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 o:)<3 DD2- Aug13 <3<3 DD3- due Feb17 <3

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • Just my husband since it will be a planned c section. Then we plan on my husband picking up our five year old son to be introduced with just the three of us. Once he meets baby then it will be a free for all for whoever wants to meet our rainbow.

    We have two sleeping beauties in heaven.
    Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. 
    Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
    They will be forever missed. <3
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