Randoms Week of July 11

riveridgional

Have any thoughts, questions, feelings, fears, etc.? Spill them here!

This is a good place to ask questions to a broader audience than the weekly check-ins, so ladies in other trimesters with experience may chime in and help you out! 

riveridgional

I'm not sure how y'all want to handle this thread going forward. This is most likely my last week starting the thread due to a scheduled induction next Monday. I generally just copy and paste the same blob every week, so it's very easy. I don't know if someone would like to take over starting the thread every week or if y'all just want to have one started whenever someone has a "random" to share.

dragonfaerie

@riveridgional I can take over starting the Randoms thread next week.

Tulips29

So I've been reading about what those first baby movements feel like, wondering when I'll finally feel my own. It sounds like it sort of feels like that wave of fluttering you feel when you go down on a roller coaster. I'm only at 12 weeks but I could have sworn I felt that fluttering wave come across my belly this morning. It was quick but it got me wondering if it was just me processing my food or was it really the baby. So my question is, if this is your first baby, when did you feel/or think you felt him/her? Is it even possible to feel something this early? 

ZoeFer

@riveridgional Best of luck with your labor ! I wish you the easiest and healthiest delivery, looking forward to hearing your good news . more than a year ago, you had replied my first post in IF board while I was feeling totally desperate and lonely. Thank you very much for writing that reply !!

dragonfaerie

@Tulips29 Almighty Google says you usually don't feel anything until closer to 16 weeks, but my sister said she felt something around 13, even with her first. And some other folks I've read on the internet said they felt movement at 9 or 11 weeks. So it could be possible! It just depends on where your baby was sitting, your body, etc.

Tulips29

@dragonfaerie That's what I read too, that's why I thought it was odd, but it wasn't a "regular" feeling either. I don't know how to describe it, but a thought went off in my head when I felt it. I've heard that most times you don't even realize it's the baby moving because the feeling is so subtle and doesn't feel like kicks. Who knows, maybe it was my morning bagel

dragonfaerie

@Tulips29 Well, if it felt different to you, then I say note the day in the calendar anyway.

riveridgional

@ZoeFer Thank you so much, and I hope I was able to help you out that day! The IF board and this board have been incredible, and I honestly don't know how I would have made it through my IF journey without the support I received! 

@Tulips29 The first time I felt the baby was exactly 18 weeks, and my husband first felt him at 19 weeks, 1 day. I could slightly see the kicks around that same time too. I don't believe I ever felt or noticed the flutters since what I felt continured for a while until it got stronger and then turned into more movements than kicks or jabs. What I first felt felt exactly like a little muscle spasm or like a strong bubble popping. Strangely, this is almost the exact feeling I now experience when the baby gets hiccups! I am so excited for each of you to experience the movements. It's so magical. I still just sit and watch or feel my belly in awe and am so thankful I get to experience those moments! I know I'm going to miss that!

ZoeFer

@riveridgional Yes that was definitely helpful, both as an answer and also to encourage me to stay in the board. It was the first time i ever posted something in an internet forum and was very shy. So thanks again ! This board has been so helpful and supportive for me. I am so thankful !
@Tulips29 I learned that everyone is different, but you will definitely feel at around 20 weeks I think. That s what I learned from my research I think I felt few flutters at around 16-17 weeks but then couldnt feel anything for a long time that I was not sure if I made it up or not. But as 18-19 weeks I definitely felt the movements and both I and DH was able to feel the kicks. Now at 22 weeks, the kicks are getting very strong , she can wake me up in the morning
 

mskeenan

Hey ladies !! I didn't feel movement until about 17 weeks I think . I wasn't certain it was the baby until 19-20 weeks . I'm currently 21 weeks and I'm a little panicked today because I haven't felt any movement in the last day . Before that baby was moving like crazy and I felt pretty strong kicks in addition to the little flutters all day . I'm wondering if I should be concerned ??? 

Piperella

@tulips29 - I knew I had felt the first movements at 18weeks.  At first, because they are so much smaller, it actually made me sick feeling to feel him squirming around.  UGH.  I like them much more now because I know for sure it's him, and the movement are of course bigger/heavier.  I really feel him now when I try to curl up in the fetal position or when I'm leaning over in a seat/toilet.  He doesn't like that.  

The other weekend my DH was hammering a bookshelf together, and when he hit the hammer on the nail, the loud sound made him jump.. it was funny.  LO doesn't jump anymore when my dogs bark, but the hammer was a new sound to him.

When you feel it will also depend on how he/she is positioned, where your placenta is positioned, weight, and many other things.  I'm overweight (which helps lessen the sensations) but I had a posterior placenta (which means baby was closest to my stomach.. placenta was closer to the spine).  I want to say at my 16week ultrasound, they had an idea of where my placenta was located, but didn't know for sure until my 20week.  Baby was using it as a pillow and was slumped over it a lot.

Tulips29

@Piperella yea, really thinking it might have been my bagel, although it was nice to think that maybe it was the baby for a minute there. I'll see if they can tell me at my appointment next week where the placenta is, baby's location, etc. Funny you say that your LO jumped at the sound of a hammer. My husband said we need to get the baby exposed to as many sounds as possible early on, even though I don't think he can hear much yet. So each night he puts headphones on my belly and plays classical music. I think it just helps me zone out more than anything

Tulips29

Oh, another question just came up. Did anyone's OB put restrictions on lifting anything during pregnancy? I travel frequently for work and have to lift up my carry-on to put in the overhead bin. My husband told me to ask someone to help but I feel silly asking. I don't think my carry-on is that heavy, maybe around 15-20 lbs or so. Hopefully this is ok and I'll also ask my doctor at my next checkup. 

ZoeFer

@mskeenan That happened to be last weekend, I had really strong movements and crazy kicks on Friday night, such that I was not sure if something bad going on. Then I could not feel anything the whole Saturday , then I panicked again. But by Sunday, i started to feel the movements again. Also my doctor told me that I should not be concerned if I do not feel something for a day or something. It is still early and they have space so we might miss their movements or kicks depending on their location. 

dragonfaerie

Is anyone else having really random dreams? I had a dream the other night that Captain America wanted to kiss me and I was like "no, I'm married" but then part of me was like "dude, it's CAPTAIN AMERICA, it doesn't count." Lol. I didn't tell my DH cuz I knew he'd want to go beat up Chris Evans. Lol.

ultratomato

@Tulips29 mine said nothing over 25 lbs. @dragonfaerie I have tons of weird dreams lol I think they say it's the progesterone increase. 

Anyone have any good recommendations for bras I heard sports bras. My boobs are getting big and they are uncomfortable in underwire. 

Tulips29

@dragonfaerie lol that's hilarious! Captain America should totally get a free pass. He's captain America! Lol. I haven't had any weird dreams but last week I had 2 uber sexual ones. I woke up blushing

@ultratomato my friend recently got a very comfy Victoria's Secret sports bra. It's got a zipper front but a bra built in inside. I'll find out which one it is. She raves about it. 

mskeenan

@zoefer thank you that is very reassuring ! Maybe I've just been busy and haven't been calm enough to notice or something . 

@ultratomato I gave in and bought a few maternity bras from the store motherhood . They run a lot of sales - I got one for 15 bucks online last week . They will work for nursing , too , so I got a size up . It already fits me now - my boobs have gotten so big !! 

Minnie1155

@riveridgional how exciting you are so close to meeting your little one! Hope everything goes smoothly!

I started feeling definite kicks when I was 17 weeks. I remember at first it was just flutters and then turned into popping sensations. I'm 24 weeks now and feel lots of movement, still waiting for DH to be able to feel something. I have a little extra cushion in the middle anyway so thinking that could make it take longer.  

A couple weeks back I had a day where I didn't feel anything and it made me nervous. I was talking to my mom who told me the baby was probably sleeping and to pay attention to see if it would be moving at night, and she was right it was very active that night. I hadn't thought that our babies spend time sleeping and have their own little patterns. 

dragonfaerie

@ultratomato Whatever is causing it, some vivid dreams are weird or okay, and then I have awful ones like a spider landing on my face like I did last night! I woke up and it took me forever to relax because I kept looking up at the ceiling. As for bras, I ended up just going up in the band size (from 32 to 34) but not the cup size, which has helped take the pressure off for now. Sports bras are definitely good because they tend to be bigger.

@Tulips29 I have definitely noticed an increase in sexual dreams too. I have that VS sports bra with the zipper in the front and it is AWESOME.

tvh1982

@tulips29. I didn't feel mine until week 18, it was a fish swimming in water kinda feeling, and just like @piperella it made me feel sick..kinda seasick really.
At 21 weeks I felt my first kick, at the same time as my cat actually, who just had found a 'almost-comfortable-but-not-really-cause-why-is-there-a-bely' spot..she got up all confused looking at me, and I probably looked just as confused back as i was like: did you feel that too?
My bestfriends wife already felt hers way way early, think she was only about 10 weeks.

About the lifting, I haven't heard anything about it..I have noticed with my few travels that some men automatically lift my bag up and take it down..I love this belly..seats suddenly get available, luggage get liftet, busses stop and wait for me, ...best ever!

Oh the dreams @dragonfaerie...I've had so many weird ones. All things happened that day, or thought about that day get all mixed into one weird dream at night. I even woke up on morning and thought I should apologise to my mother for the fight we had..but she wouldn't know we had one
Captain America definitely needs a free pass! 
I had some pretty spicey ones too, old classmates suddenly appear in my dreams..and I have no contact with them, or ever thought they were hot and spicey glad I haven't had one about my colleagues like my friend had..she didn't want to go to work, afraid her colleagues would know!

Tulips29

@tvh1982 yea, the more I read the answers everyone is giving, the more I convince myself that it was just bloat or food passing through my stomach. It was a short wave-like feeling and only happened once. Oh well. I was excited for a second there. 
So nice that you're getting seats on the bus or men lifting your luggage. Here in NY people aren't as generous to baby bumps. Luckily, I take a comfortable bus to work where I always get a seat, but I hear from pregnant friends who take the subway that people rarely get up for them. Men in general just pretend to be sleeping and more often than not, other women offer up their seats. It's a shame.

So I've bee struggling with anxiety the past few days, mainly because I'm so anxious for my next appointment and it'll be 3.5 weeks from my last ultrasound until I go for my next one next week. I know I've said this before, but this week anxiety has been on level high. I read stories about women losing babies late in their pregnancy, or some other horrible situations and it makes me so sad. Then terrible thoughts creep into my head. I keep telling myself everything is ok, but those crazy thoughts take over. I'm not looking for reassurance, just wanted to share this in case anyone else is feeling the same and can relate. I hope this feeling eventually goes away as I keep telling myself the stress and worrying are not good for the baby. I also wonder if anyone who doesn't go through IF struggles with this. 

ZoeFer

@Tulips29 I also did not get any help or seat in NY so far. I do not use the public transportation too much, I walk to work but when I took the subway noone offered me seat. I do not know if it will change when my bump is too obvious though, we ll see. 
Also I can relate the anxiety, mine subsidized after I was ~15 weeks I think but still I can worry myself too much everytime I hear a story. After you start to feel your baby movements and kicks, it gives more confidence though. But I think it is super normal to be anxious in the first trimester, do not beat yourself up too much. 

tvh1982

Men are much more polite here in Norway, it's a good place to be @tulips29.

Im not sure my level of anxiety is as high, but I do worry and think what if I go in labour now? How is she doing? Is she still kicking and breathing? How is the heartbeat? What is this pain I feel? How is my cervix? And manny manny more...
What I've been told by my midwife and doctor is that worrying doesn't harm my baby. It would be better not to, of course, but no harm is been done. Which makes the pressure of worrying a little less. 
One of my friends actually told me she thinks she worries more than half of what I do. She says it is because it came so easy, she doesn't really think about that it could be taken away.
For some reason, we keep having that 'what if' following us, that others haven't experienced. 

dragonfaerie

@tvh1982 Glad I'm not the only one with psychotic dreams. Lol. I'm definitely glad too none of my coworkers have shown up. Haha, that would be awkward.
@Tulips29 I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety. It definitely is not fun to deal with. I spend a lot of times doing deep breathing and rubbing my belly, just doing positive affirmations.

Tulips29

@ZoeFer this is why New Yorkers get a bad rep! I hope you get some help when needed, especially with a visible bump. 

@tvh1982 the "what ifs" are the worst. Every time I tell my husband "what if" followed by something terrible, he says but what if something good is actually happening? But it's so hard to think that way. I just keep thinking, well if I make it to week X then I'll relax. Then week X comes and goes and I still worry. I hate to sound so negative. We should be excited and happy during this time, not worry constantly! 

Tulips29

@dragonfaerie I need to start some meditation/breathing/relaxation exercises. I do rub my belly too, and keep telling the baby to grow grow grow. I say a prayer too, but I need to learn how to shut off my mind and those negative thoughts.

Speaking of dreams, I had a crazy one last night. It was straight out of an action movie and felt so real. I woke up confused where I was because I could have sworn I was just in some car chase. 

dragonfaerie

@Tulips29 Oh man, dreams like that are so disorienting! And then you just feel more tired because it's like you lived another day while you were sleeping!

One thing that my therapist told me was if she could find a way to stop negative thought spirals, she'd be a millionaire and never have to work again. Instead, what she told me to do was let yourself think that way for a little bit, and then when you calm down enough to think of something else, then counter everything you had been saying. So for example:

Negative thought: I am a bad person, I do bad things, I am so stupid...

Counter thought: I am a good person, I made a mistake, and this is how I can fix it. My mistake may have been stupid, but that does not make me a stupid person. I am quite smart, and here's all the ways that I am smart...

I don't know if that helps, but it really helped me to realize that getting into a spiral is normal and then you can just refute everything your brain told you in that moment.

Tulips29

@dragonfaerie that's a good suggestion, I'll try that going forward. My husband got into a habit of having me say 3 positive things for every negative one and sometimes it's so challenging. I have to force myself to think more positively for sure! 

dragonfaerie

@riveridgional How are you feeling?

Tulips29

So last night I had a dream that I finally caved in and downloaded Pokemon Go...and ended up running around the entire New York City looking for those darn Pokemons. These active dreams are getting exhausting! lol 

dragonfaerie

@Tulips29 Don't do it! Lol.

Tulips29

@dragonfaerie haha! nope, i refuse to fall into the hype. plus i have no time for it. but the dream was sooo real! 

dragonfaerie

@Tulips29 I'm so tired of hearing about it. I don't really have a problem in general, it's just annoying to listen to constantly. They are actually talking about how it's affecting the stock market here at work.

riveridgional

I saw a funny meme (maybe? I feel so old with all the social media lingo) that said "Everyone is playing Pokémon, a Clinton is running for president, and Blink 182 is on the radio. Welcome to 2001." So true! I never understood the Pokémon trend years ago and don't get it now. No judgment; it's just never been of interest to me. 

Thanks for thinking of me @dragonfaerie. The fear and nerves seem to have faded, but I'm sure they'll be back! My to-do list is also fading (thankfully). Today, I didn't make much progress, but I'm hoping to nail pretty much everything out tomorrow and have a very relaxing Saturday and Sunday. We'll see what happens, though! 

I had my last set of appointments and testing before my scheduled induction today. Everything went "well," so we are set for the induction at 5am Monday. Apparently, 5am is "late morning" for an induction. Here I was thinking 10 am would be the likely "late morning" time. 

Today, I was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced (last week I was 2 cm and 30%) with a "very soft" cervix. The baby is in station -2 (-3 last week) and applying pressure per my OB. So, things are progressing already on their own and looking positive for a successful vaginal delivery!  

The plan now is to start me on a low dose of pitocin and see what my body does. After 4 cm and a good contraction pattern, they will pop my water. They'll apparently do an ultrasound when I go in to confirm baby is, in fact, head down. I got really excited and thought,  "yay,  I'll get to see my baby. It's been over 16 weeks!" Then, I realized,  oh wait, I really, really will see my baby that day and then laughed at myself for being so excited about the ultrasound! Clearly, reality has not fully set in yet! 

Tulips29

@riveridgional ah, that's so cool that you're so so close to holding your little babe. Will be thinking of you on Monday! I hope these last few days of pregnancy are relaxing for you. 

dragonfaerie

@riveridgional Yes, I saw that meme too! Totally made me laugh!

I'm so glad that things are progressing well on their own and I will continue to pray that you respond well and baby behaves!

ultratomato

Pet peeve when people are late for there obgyn appointment and then ur sitting in the office waiting longer ugh... It's so rude 

dragonfaerie

@ultratomato Ugh, that is so frustrating. I'm sorry.

tvh1982

Question: hairy belly! I mean wtf.. more ladies starting to grow hair on their bellies?
Any tips? Just leave it or remove it? #imnotlikingthis