Bad news (tw, loss) — The Bump
January 2017 Moms

Bad news (tw, loss)

500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited June 2016 in January 2017 Moms
Well I started spotting on Tuesday and by last night it was heavy and red and I was having (bad) cramps. Midwife had me come in this morning. She did a pelvic exam and was pretty reassuring. Then she had me go for an ultrasound for dating and to check the heartbeat.

The ultrasound tech put the probe on my tummy and moved it around a bit. Then she goes "are you sure you're pregnant? there's nothing in there" (her tone was SO RUDE!!) Cue the ugly crying. I was like yeah, I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks and we saw the heartbeat and saw it moving around. It was there. I'm so pissed about her lack of compassion. But yeah, I lost it.

Anyway it's been fun chatting with you all. I wish you and your babies nothing but the best!

31 years young
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---


Re: Bad news (tw, loss)

  • @moonlady ; I am so, so sorry for your loss and the ordeal that you had to go through in getting the news. All of the good vibes going your way.
    Me & DH: 27
    Met: 12.9.2007
    Married: 9.26.2014
    BFP: 5.1.2016
    Baby Boy Due: 1.13.2017

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  • cjs260cjs260
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Oh @moonlady I'm so very sorry. I know there are no words of comfort but you're in my thoughts. I will tell you that the Miscarriage/Loss board and Trying to Conceive after Loss board here on the bump are an amazing resource with some of the absolute best women contributing. Please take care of yourself. Hugs your way. 

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  • ceclarlinetloceclarlinetlo
    Long-Lasting Membership 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    I am so so sorry @moonlady - both that you lost your baby and had such an asshat of a tech. I wish I had something I could say something that would help but I know from experience there really isn't anything except this sucks and I hate it for you. My advice is to just let yourself grieve anyway that helps. Don't give in to pressure to feel a certain way or to "be over it" until you feel better. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry and wishing you peace as you heal emotionally and physically. :(

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  • @moonlady so very sorry for your loss, and that the U/S tech wasn't more compassionate. Thoughts and prayers are with you to help you and your loved ones during this time. 
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  • I'm so sorry
    Baby Boy 3 is on the way! 
    Due 1/21/17
  • @moonlady I'm so sorry :( And what an awful way for someone to deliver that news. Sending good thoughts your way, seconding @cjs260's suggestion too--the Miscarriage/Loss board is an incredible community as is TTCAL.
    Me: 34 / OH: 37
    BFP #1: 5/21/15 - Twins / MMC - 7/23/15 / D&C - 7/26/15
    BFP #2: 4/26/16 - Due date: 1/1/17
    DS (Henry!): 1/7/17 <3
  • @moonlady I am so so sorry! There's nothing I can say to make this better. Take care of yourself and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. 
    Married: 01/2010
    Mirena out late 8/2015, NTNP through holidays, TTC 1/16
    BFP: 5/16 - Baby boy:1/17 He's amazing!!!
    TFAS 9/17
    BFP: 2/18 - Baby girl: 9/18 She's fabulous!!!

  • I'm so sorry! 
  • I am so very sorry. So so sorry. I agree with previous posters, the ttcal and loss board are fantastic places. Thinking of you. 
  • BrialaBriala
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Photogenic
    So sorry for your loss  :'( I hope your recovery goes well. I wish you the best of luck in the fiture. Sorry you had to find out that way that's the worst.
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    Me: 26 DH: 29 Married 8/4/2012
    BFP #1 8/20/2013 | EDD 5/4/2014 | MMC 10/2/2013 9w3d | D&C 10/8/2013
    BFP #2 2/8/2014 (kinda) EDD 10/29/2014 | DS Born 10/8/2014 
    TTCAL 11/2015 BFP #3 5/12/16 | EDD Jan 2017
  • I'm so so sorry for your loss ::hugs::
  • I'm so sorry. 
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  • Vivi20Vivi20
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Oh I am so, so sorry dear. And I'm so sorry you had to experience that terribly rude and cold ultrasound tech.
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  • So so sorry  :'( you're in my thoughts
  • emy730emy730
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Photogenic
    I am so sorry 
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  • I'm so so sorry. What a terrible experience with that ultra sound tech. You are in my thoughts. 
  • i'm so sorry this happened. and i can't believe an ultrasound tech would be so insensitive.
  • sagoonsagoon
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Oh no, I am so sorry.  :'(

    Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
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  • I'm very sorry for your loss.

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss :cry: and for your terrible experience with that ultrasound tech

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  • @moonlady, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I am so, so sorry you had to deal with that insensitivity this morning. May you find peace and solace in the other resources mentioned, and be kind to yourself in these days to come. xo
    Erin - Boston, MA 
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss, 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts ❤️
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    DD: 10.9.13 [38+4] - EDD 10/19/13
    DS1: 3.18.15 [36+0] - EDD 04/15/15
    DS2: EDD: 1.19.17

  • What devastating news..  I am so sorry for your loss! I'll be praying for you to heal from this, physically and emotionally, and that you'll have lots of support & be able to find resources to help you through this difficult time.  When you're ready, report that awful tech to her superior for her demeaning and insensitive attitude.  You didn't deserve to be treated so horribly, and neither does anyone else!
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  • So sorry for your loss :(
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  • So so sorry for your loss :-( and for such a terrible technician! That is awful!
    DS1 - 03/31/2006
    DS2 - 12/31/2008
    DS3 - 06/26/2012
    DS4 - 08/07/2014
  • @moonlady I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending you love and light in this time of darkness. 

    ***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***

    me 38 DH 39.  
    TTC#1 since July 2014
    AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
    Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
    2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
    Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
    Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15

    DE attempt in Czech Republic!! 

    March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. :sob:
    Headed to Prague April 30
    3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
    2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16
    BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
    Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
    Heartbeat at 6w5d 133BPM <3
    We are having a GIRL!!! Due Jan 26, 2017

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss and for the insensitivity of the tech. Thoughts and prayers to you *hugs*
  • I'm so sorry for your loss and having to deal with such an incredible rude person. 
  • I'm so sad for you, @moonlady :(
  • I am so, so sorry for your loss and the treatment you had to endure @moonlady. I also recommend the loss boards; the people over there are incredibly compassionate and wonderful to talk to during such a difficult time. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs.
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  • xinranxinran
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I am so so sorry. Thoughts are with you. I am sorry you had such a terrible experience finding out too. 
  • @moonlady I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss and that you had to deal with not only that but also an incredibly rude person. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. 
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  • I'm so sorry to hear this @moonlady. You are in my thoughts. 

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  <3
    Me: 27, DH: 32
    Together: 1/24/11
    Married: 10/11/14
    BFP: 4/26/2016
    EDD: 1/4/2017

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  • Hugs and prayers of comfort for you. I'm so sorry. 
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    Team Blue ~ Jan. 20
    DS born 9/4/12
    MMC July 2015
    MMC January 2016
  • I am so sorry to hear this, and to see how you were treated. Hugs to you.
    Married 10/4/2014 (10-4, good buddy!)
    Baby Boy #1 born 1/9/17
    Baby Boy #2 EDD 11/4/18
    "It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.  You rarely win, but sometimes you do."  -Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

  • I'm so sorry!! Thinking of you. And that woman should not be in her line of work. So unprofessional. Big hugs xoxo
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  • KimC85KimC85
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'm so sorry for your loss and the way it was communicated to you. Please take care of yourself.  
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