Pregnant after a Loss

Told my Angel today, still haven't told my Sunshine - Intro

bdesterhousebdesterhouse member
edited June 2016 in Pregnant after a Loss
Hello, I am new here. My name is Bryana, I am 27 years old, married, and have a 5 year old son who is my Sunshine. Here is my story: My family's life changed Monday July 27,2015. That morning I went to the hospital 32 weeks pregnant because I hadn't felt my sweet angel girl move all night. I told my husband not to worry and he didn't need to come with that I was just overreacting and she was just positioned so I couldn't  feel her. He came anyways because his gut told him he needed to. The first nurse couldn't find her heart beat so she brought in a training doctor with the ultrasound machine, she said she was knew and possibly not doing something right so she went to get an experienced Doctor- knew then it wasn't good and she was lying. Second Doctor comes in and says oh this isn't a good machine, Perinatal is in the hall let me get him with his good machine. He comes in and not even five minutes later. "You see here, this is where your baby
's heart is... As you can tell it's not beating". My world shattered. My OB came into the room before even going to her clinic and cried with us. My beautiful angel, Kali Jean was born sleeping on July 28,2015. Not a day goes by that she isn't missed or thought of. 

I went and saw her today and told her about the baby we are expecting. I'm struggling lately with my feelings. I am so excited for this baby, but it makes me miss her so much more. 

We haven't told our sunshine yet, but he acts like he already knows. He knew we were having a girl last time before I even knew I was pregnant. He would tell complete strangers I was pregnant with his sister. We are scared to tell him, but also don't want to keep it from him either. 

I am almost 8 weeks. When and how did you ladies tell your sunshines?

We have two sleeping beauties in heaven.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. 
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed. <3
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Re: Told my Angel today, still haven't told my Sunshine - Intro

  • I'm so sorry for your loss and I can understand the variety of mixed feelings you must be having now. I'm not sure what advice to give concerning telling your little guy. After my early loss at 10 weeks we didn't tell any one about the new baby until we were past the first trimester. And even then just family and very close friends. 

    Keep in mind that children are very resilient and he might handle the information very well. I think it is most important for you to feel strong enough before you tell him, since he might have a lot of questions. Perhaps just give yourself a little time with this pregnancy to feel it and embrace it and you'll know when it is right to tell him.

    Many hugs to you!!
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. My story is very similar to yours. We lost our second daughter at 31 weeks. I went to the hospital after not feeling her move for several hours and delivered her the next day.

    We waited until I was 12 weeks along with our rainbow baby to tell our 4 year old. I have a Doppler so I told her there was a baby in my belly and let her hear the heartbeat. But I think she suspected before that. She made a few comments about the baby in my belly before we told her. 


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