When will you tell your other kids?

Curran1010

When will you announce your pregnancy to your other kids? 

thehappyphotog

We will wait until closer to the end of the first trimester.  We had a late first tri loss in October that was really hard on all of them.  They ask at least 3-4x a week when we will get to have another baby so it's really hard to keep it from them.  I'm so ready to share our news with them - they are going to be crazy excited!

momousekee

My 12 year old wants to know before she figures it out on her own. 

I'm hoping she isn't keeping good track of my periods (we're 2 weeks apart) so I can wait until 9 weeks. At 10 weeks, we're going to Disneyland, and I know she'll figure it out then. 

thehappyphotog

momousekee said:

My 12 year old wants to know before she figures it out on her own. 

I'm hoping she isn't keeping good track of my periods (we're 2 weeks apart) so I can wait until 9 weeks. At 10 weeks, we're going to Disneyland, and I know she'll figure it out then. 

they are so smart.  It's a lot easier to hide this time because our oldest graduated and moved out.  Mom is only face down on the couch mid afternoon for one reason lol.

L Jane

I think probably around 12-13 weeks, when we tell everyone else. Our kids are almost 3, 5, and 6. The older two will obviously understand more, and also have a tendency to tell people EVERYTHING. Lol. We won't be telling my parents/in-laws until at least after my first appt/ultra-sound at 8 weeks.

blush64

My older kids ready know, they knew I was going to be a surrogate and knew when the transfer was. I am going to tell my younger child when I am further along, much further. I have books that explain the situation aimed at young children. I will probably be more than half way through when she finds out. 

rachoochoo2

Probably not until the end of first tri. I'm dying to do it now but we had an early loss in  April and had told them. Untelling was gut wrenching. They are only 6, 4, and 2 and they just didn't get it and still sometimes ask me about it.

grapeskittles4lyfe

She's under three, so she hasn't figured it out yet. I think once I start to show. She already got to see one of her daycare friends' newborn sibling nurse last week, so it's all she's talking about. "And baby Ezra drink milk from mommy, and when I was a baby, I drink milk from MY mommy! Mommies make milk!" So there's that.

MagicMikki

My older two (from my previous marriage) are 9 and almost 8.  We will be telling them next week, when I'm almost 7 weeks.  We hired a photographer and are having "family photos" taken in the park.  I got these shirts (big sister again and big brother) and wrapped them up in boxes.  We will give them the gifts to open and the photog will capture their reactions.  I'm pretty excited! 

We've been TTC for over 3 years and got pregnant through IVF, so the kids are pretty aware of what's going on.  They know it's coming, but don't know yet that there actually WILL be a new baby!

Gingersnap

After the anatomy scan, at 20 weeks. 
Shes only 3 so it will be easy to hide. 

BumpasaurusRex

We plan to tell DS probably closer to our anatomy scan around 20 weeks.  We plan to find out the sex (if possible) so we think it'd be cute to tell him that he's having a brother/sister.

He's only going to be 3 so he hasn't caught on to anything yet.

emilypanthel

I've already told my daughter who is 7, she knows my midwife and overheard us talking so I spilled the beans. I'm happy she knows but I'm also really worried because she's so excited. 

CallMeLauraJane

I've already told my boys. DS2 doesn't quite "get it" yet, but DS1 does. He's so excited. He's very intuitive so it would have come out anyway!

kswiger06

I'm 6w6d and we haven't told anyone but strangers so far. I'm really set on the kids (9 & 7) knowing before any other family or friends. I was hoping to wait until after my first dr visit next week but we will see almost everyone this Sunday at my niece's birthday party. I'm thinking about just telling kids then if they blab to family at the party oh well lol maybe just let the kids spill the beans for us. 

MommaBean

Our son turned 7 a few weeks ago and I think we'll tell him after my first appointment/dating u/s (next week - I should be 7.5 weeks). Not sure how long after that... I'm really excited to tell him - he's been asking for a sibling for years! - but can't imagine having to explain a loss to him

kami2277

Both my kids know. They are 17 & 13. We did IVF. It was kind of hard to hide all the needles, meds and doctors appointments. :-) 

Babymakes5!

My y4 yr old would tell everyone in the world. He will know when we are ready to tell the world. So I'm thinking maybe 16 weeks if we can keep the secret that long.

MalyJ

DS1 is 5 and loves to talk to anyone and everyone. So whenever we are ready for the world to know, we'll tell him.

runnermom04

I already told DS, he's 4 and doesn't believe me so... He has been telling people for months now that he's getting a baby so no one would believe him if he said it now

KDhi

We'll wait until after the u/s at least. My older one is 5, so he's still pretty unable to keep secrets. We've only told close friends so far.

L Jane

MalyJ said:

DS1 is 5 and loves to talk to anyone and everyone. So whenever we are ready for the world to know, we'll tell him.

This made me laugh, because it's exactly how my 4 and 5 year old are! I'm really starting to wonder if my kids have some type of psychic abilities...because all they've been talking about is mama being pregnant and babies! 

cantalopes24

My kids already know. Most people know what we've been going through to get pregnant so I'm not worried about the kids telling anyone.I'm not feeling well and falling asleep pretty early at night so they knew something is off.

hispenguin

I'm still so undecided about when to tell DD. We had to do an IUI and she knew I was going to the baby doctor and getting u/s's and taking needles, but doesn't know the timing. 
I have my first u/s on Monday and was thinking of telling her then, but may wait longer since she is very sensitive and trying to explain a loss if one were to happen would be horrible. 

PerraSucia

kami2277 said:

Both my kids know. They are 17 & 13. We did IVF. It was kind of hard to hide all the needles, meds and doctors appointments. :-) 

My DS has helped with all my medications and been a pretty active part of trying to make a baby. Which is was less gross than it sounds out of context of ivf. 

bdesterhouse

We had a late loss last July, it is something our son is still processing. He has a fear of hospitals and doctors so I'm on the fence about when. He asks all the time about siblings, but we really don't want to get his hopes up and have something happen. I know we can't keep it from him since people will ask him if he's excited and he will be confused at what they're talking about. Also, it's getting harder to talk about in code with my husband. We will probably tell him after my appt next week so we can be the ones to tell him and not someone else by accident.

MamaCoffin

We had a late first trimester loss in November. My 4 year old was with me at that fateful appointment when we found out I'd had a MMC. It was a routine appointment and there was no reason to believe anything was wrong. She'd been with me to all of the other appointments and loved being part of the whole process. It was really hard on her. I wanted to wait this time around but I had no choice but to take her with me to get my betas done. She knew we wanted another baby. She saw the pictures of mothers and babies on the wall at my midwife's office and just put it all together. Now that she knows there's no keeping it from my 2 year old. We've gone completely public. 

kswiger06

@MamaCoffin I'm so sorry to hear about your previous loss. I couldn't imagine having a young child there to get that news. I hope she was able to cope well and you have the best wishes from me for your pregnancy

MamaCoffin

kswiger06 said:

@MamaCoffin I'm so sorry to hear about your previous loss. I couldn't imagine having a young child there to get that news. I hope she was able to cope well and you have the best wishes from me for your pregnancy

Thank you!

We had to have quite a few tough conversations for anyone... Much less a 4 year old. But we just explained that the baby didn't have a healthy enough body and its heart couldn't keep beating. She had a few rough days at school where her teacher said she kept to herself... But just a few weeks later she seemed much better. She even told me that I had cried enough and it was time to be happy again! She melted my heart after figuring out I'm pregnant again. She said "I hope the baby got a better body this time so it can finally come". Me too sweet girl, me too. 

Gingersnap

MamaCoffin said:

kswiger06 said:

@MamaCoffin I'm so sorry to hear about your previous loss. I couldn't imagine having a young child there to get that news. I hope she was able to cope well and you have the best wishes from me for your pregnancy

Thank you!

We had to have quite a few tough conversations for anyone... Much less a 4 year old. But we just explained that the baby didn't have a healthy enough body and its heart couldn't keep beating. She had a few rough days at school where her teacher said she kept to herself... But just a few weeks later she seemed much better. She even told me that I had cried enough and it was time to be happy again! She melted my heart after figuring out I'm pregnant again. She said "I hope the baby got a better body this time so it can finally come". Me too sweet girl, me too. 

That got me teary.

mjdenton

I told our 6 year old at 5 weeks. She really likes having a "secret". We told her we think there is a baby but won't know for sure till the doctor takes a picture.  My first appointment isn't until 10 weeks.

rachoochoo2

MamaCoffin said:

kswiger06 said:

@MamaCoffin I'm so sorry to hear about your previous loss. I couldn't imagine having a young child there to get that news. I hope she was able to cope well and you have the best wishes from me for your pregnancy

Thank you!

We had to have quite a few tough conversations for anyone... Much less a 4 year old. But we just explained that the baby didn't have a healthy enough body and its heart couldn't keep beating. She had a few rough days at school where her teacher said she kept to herself... But just a few weeks later she seemed much better. She even told me that I had cried enough and it was time to be happy again! She melted my heart after figuring out I'm pregnant again. She said "I hope the baby got a better body this time so it can finally come". Me too sweet girl, me too. 

We told our 6 and 4 year old daughters early when I had my miscarriage a couple months ago and they had almost the same reaction. My oldest daughter was like "but mommy, I still want a baby." I held it together until she said that then I started crying and said me too baby. My 4 year old didn't get it at all and for weeks kept asking about the baby and I would have to tell her all over again. It was rough.

gingerbest

I'm so sorry for your loss.  We are in the same boat- going to wait until after first trimester before we tell the kids this time.  After the loss our 4 year old seemed to accept the news when we assured her the lost baby would not be alone, that was her biggest concern.  

jab3-2

Both my kids have major sensory issues (both seeking and avoidant) so for safety reasons I had to inform them so I wouldn't continue to be used as something to crash into. My 5 yr old was shockingly good at keeping the "surprise" a secret, but my 3 yr old spilled the beans. She told everyone "mommy has a baby in her belly."

Starfish113

I don't think we will tell them until we're ready for the world to know! So, before everyone else, but far enough along that it's okay if they spill. 

phlox728

We saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks but will tell our kiddos (5 and 3) after our next ultrasound in 2 weeks. I'll be 10 weeks+ then. Although they know something is up as I'm already showing and quite sick! I keep telling my 3 year old mommy ate too many cheeseburgers :-)

kswiger06

We just told our other kids yesterday. We have a 9 and 7 YO. my first appointment is this coming Thursday so I was hoping to wait a bit still but most of my family got together yesterday for my niece's birthday party. It was a good time to announce because my mom's birthday is today. So we took a card for my mom too. I wanted the kids to know first so we boringly told them on the way, and asked them not to tell, then inside my mom's birthday card we signed it from each of our names then I added "and baby". My mom didn't read her card until right before we left and I was in the bathroom, but my sister in law who asked often if we are pregnant yet because she knew we were ttc already asked me and I told her yes, she saw my mom grab the card and video taped her reaction for me. It was awesome. Mom's head jerked up and yelled "is this frickin serious?!?" 
I know there is another thread on announcements so I might copy this to that one, but we did tell our kids first so I thought it appropriate to put it here as well.

tishb

We told our boys (7&5) yesterday at 8+1. They are so excited, talking about all the things they could teach the baby and baby snuggles. I've been so sick and so exhausted, we figured it was only fair to let them know why.

ljoyw_27

TessAndRob said:

Our son turned 7 a few weeks ago and I think we'll tell him after my first appointment/dating u/s (next week - I should be 7.5 weeks). Not sure how long after that... I'm really excited to tell him - he's been asking for a sibling for years! - but can't imagine having to explain a loss to him

Literally almost the same, except my son will be 7 in September. He has been begging for a sibling for years....we are so thrilled to be this close to giving him one! We probably won't tell him until 12/13 weeks, though. I really want him.to be the first one to know, so we are trying to keep it under wraps from everyone until he can tell them. Its going to be a long 6 weeks...