June 2016 Moms

Visitors won't leave

For months I've been bragging to people that my mom is moving to town to take care of my baby, but getting her own place after a couple months. Well her boyfriend helped her drive cross country for the move and we said he could stay with us 1 or 2 nights. I thought that meant literally 1-2 nights, but apparently they think that means indefinitely. They've been here 2 nights and I just asked my mom when he was leaving and she said she didn't know and "we haven't discussed it." Seriously???? So he has no idea how long he is staying???? WHAT THE F??? 

Re: Visitors won't leave

  • That sucks! Maybe tell your mom he should get a hotel room if he is planning on staying longer?
  • That's tough. I remember my FIL drove up from FL to stay in CT for the summer and he said he had a place to stay during the week and only needed a place to sleep sat nights. He ended up living with us for almost 6 months!!! Looking back I wish we had sat down with him right at the beginning and telling him our expectations.  I would do that with just your Mom and say "its been a few days and we are ready for visitors to leave". Since he's just that, a visitor.  Is your mom the type to get super defensive?  That could make things tough too.
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  • For months I've been bragging to people that my mom is moving to town to take care of my baby, but getting her own place after a couple months. Well her boyfriend helped her drive cross country for the move and we said he could stay with us 1 or 2 nights. I thought that meant literally 1-2 nights, but apparently they think that means indefinitely. They've been here 2 nights and I just asked my mom when he was leaving and she said she didn't know and "we haven't discussed it." Seriously???? So he has no idea how long he is staying???? WHAT THE F??? 
    Does he live across country (since he had to drive her across the country??). If so, maybe he is struggling more with separating from her especially as it looks like she will be staying with you for awhile and then moving out there. That's a pretty big commitment for your mom and her significant other. Maybe his thought is he will stay until the baby is born because maybe he is excited about the birth as well and doesn't want to have to come back across the country to see the baby. No matter what the reason, seems like you all need to make some coffee and sit down together and talk about the plan for the next couple of weeks and months. Again, that's a huge commitment for your mom and he has only been there two days. Harken back to the poor momma on here who was stuck with her ridiculous SIL for MONTHS (and she sounded like a nightmare!). Be an adult and just talk to them and find out the plan.
    trythebleucheeseMynaBirdblissylissy86rlbrooks84
  • xc1148xc1148 member
    You need to be a bit more firm. Keep in mind that if you kick her/them out and they get all salty, that may put an end to the free babysitting, so weigh that against having your house back.
    TTC since June 2011
    DH: perfect SA
    Me: 30, moderate endo, unexplained infertility
    IUI or IVF in December



    image
    WinniethePoohsPants
  • You need to talk to them and figure out their plan. If you mom is truly moving in for a few months to take care of their baby, then you can probably expect him to be around a lot. I can't imagine he'll just leave her there and drive across the country again and be without her for a long time.

    Decide what's important to you and set boundaries. But as PP said, if you say you don't want him there at all it may lessen or totally eliminate your moms involvement with the baby.
    Me (31) & DH (32)
    Married 9/27/2014
    DD Born 6/23/16
    Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
    blissylissy86rlbrooks84
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