What are baby items that you think would be ok to get/buy second hand, compared to items that are definitely worth getting brand new? I know we will buy the crib, mattress, car seat, and stroller new due to safety standards.
I posted this in the weekly random post, but it's probably better here: 1) Is it normal not to see your OB at your first appointment? If so, when do you typically see them? 2) When do you start shopping for maternity clothes and what are the essentials to get? Not sure if I should be proactive and have some stuff ready or wait until stuff isn't fitting anymore.
@sweetyjenj there was a thread a week or so ago about what to buy second hand, so you can see lots of opinions. For me, with my first, I had everything new. This time, I would buy anything except a crib/mattress and car seat used. Babies use most things for such a short time, if at all, so you can find used items in excellent condition. For example, with my first, I got a fancy swing, and he hated it, so it was a total waste. I resold it for a fraction of the price, and someone got a practically brand new swing out of it.
DS: June 2008 Married: July 2015 BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
@kelseyh62 who will you see? An ultrasound tech? A midwife? I would be 100% fine with an ultrasound and a midwife visit. I'm not sure if it's normal or not. As for maternity clothes, I recommend buying as you go/need stuff. I made the mistake of buying a ton of clothing at 7 weeks pregnant with my first. I bought all size large thinking that would be perfect. None of it ended up fitting, it ended up being too big. You don't know how your body will change.
What are baby items that you think would be ok to get/buy second hand, compared to items that are definitely worth getting brand new? I know we will buy the crib, mattress, car seat, and stroller new due to safety standards.
I buy all of DD's clothes, with very few exceptions, from consignment stores. One app that I love is Totspot, I've gotten her really cute things from there. Also, while I totally agree that a new car seat is preferred, if you're in a tough spot, you can get them used as long as you KNOW that they haven't been in a car accident and the expiration date hasn't passed, and obviously if you can tell that it's not in bad condition. My husband's coworker gave us DD's current car seat after his daughter outgrew it. We are going to get her a new one because that's what's absolute safest but for the time being, this is perfectly fine. I'd be skeptical about buying one from a consignment shop though because there's not really a way of knowing for sure that those seats haven't been in a car accident.
To add onto what @thepax89 said about maternity clothes, they generally say you should buy whatever size you are now in maternity clothes. So all my maternity stuff was Sm/Med. I think a lot of people make the mistake of going for large + right away, but you shouldn't if you don't generally wear that size pre-pregnancy
DD1 (2008) DD2 (2010), #3 (DH's first bio kid) on the way in January 2017! Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
Is it worth it to get a special blender/processor for baby food, or should I just my normal Ninja blender? They have baby ones out there, but if it works the same I'm not sure if it's worth it.
Is it worth it to get a special blender/processor for baby food, or should I just my normal Ninja blender? They have baby ones out there, but if it works the same I'm not sure if it's worth it.
Not worth it! I've made baby food for both my girls with just a standard blender and it's been fine.
Is it worth it to get a special blender/processor for baby food, or should I just my normal Ninja blender? They have baby ones out there, but if it works the same I'm not sure if it's worth it.
If you have a blender that works well I would use that. We were given one by one of DH's coworkers. The nice thing about it, is that it steams too. However, it is small so you can't do huge batches at once. I would not have bought one.
I always saw my OB at my first visit, but I think that is just the norm here in my city and with that practice, I have heard many people who don't see their OB at the first visit.
We have lots of hand me downs from family, and my boys share often. We bought new Car seats as needed for safety reasons, cribs we were given from family members, and we bought a new one after a flood since we had no way of knowing if the crib legs were compromised. There aren't very many things that I mind it being used vs new, but I think it's a personal preference thing!
Did you feel the same stretching of your uterus early on as you did with your first pregnancy? How different were your symptoms between the two pregnancies?
MC mentioned
edited to add: The reason I ask is because this is my second pregnancy (first ended in MC at 9w) but it doesn't feel the same as my first.
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
me 38 DH 39. TTC#1 since July 2014 AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. Headed to Prague April 30 3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16 BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
I definitely noticed my uterus growing with #3 and #4. I would get contractions starting around 14weeks where it would feel like a softball in my stomach for a second before releasing. Totally normal in later pregnancies I was told. Was such a crazy feeling though! It was like my stomach suddenly weighed 20lb!
Is it worth it to get a special blender/processor for baby food, or should I just my normal Ninja blender? They have baby ones out there, but if it works the same I'm not sure if it's worth it.
Not worth it! I've made baby food for both my girls with just a standard blender and it's been fine.
I agree - not worth it. I almost bought one and decided at the last minute to wait and see how our regular blender worked out. We ended up doing baby-led weaning and never pureed anything, so it would have never been used.
I am terrified of post birth healing. I am not looking forward to the idea of The Shining esque scenes of blood or huge clots. Please tell me you made it through it and maybe I will too.
When did you feel movement in subsequent pregnancies (#2, 3, etc.)?
I'm curious about this, too. I felt DD at 19 weeks my first time. My OB told me the other day that subsequent pregnancies can be felt as early as 14 weeks. That seems so early to me!
I am terrified of post birth healing. I am not looking forward to the idea of The Shining esque scenes of blood or huge clots. Please tell me you made it through it and maybe I will too.
Honestly it wasn't that bad (for me). There were no huge clots and the bleeding was steady but no heavier than a heavy period. It did last for a good 4 weeks (some much shorter) but all in all, it was fine.
I am terrified of post birth healing. I am not looking forward to the idea of The Shining esque scenes of blood or huge clots. Please tell me you made it through it and maybe I will too.
Prefacing this by saying every pregnancy and every woman is different.
That being said, the bleeding was not that bad for me. Basically just a very heavy, long-lasting period. What was more uncomfortable for me were postpartum hemorrhoids but those healed in time.
I am terrified of post birth healing. I am not looking forward to the idea of The Shining esque scenes of blood or huge clots. Please tell me you made it through it and maybe I will too.
It wasn't that terrible for me either. It was pretty much like a heavy period with some pain where my stitches were. Witch hazel was a big help for pain relief. I do want to echo that every pregnancy/post-partum is different so this might not be the case for everyone.
Is it worth it to get a special blender/processor for baby food, or should I just my normal Ninja blender? They have baby ones out there, but if it works the same I'm not sure if it's worth it.
I got one as a gift so I used it. I dropped it and it broke so I just used a regular blender after that and it was fine. You can steam/roast the veggies and fruit separately and throw them in the blender. Easy!
sweetyjenjThis will seem very foreign right now, but you may want to read about "Baby Lead Weaning". My daughter barely ate purees - we went straight to finger foods at 6 months.
@sweetyjenj yes! Agreed. @Shawlls I went all out because it was dream to make my daughter baby food. I made her a freezer stash full of sweet potatoes/apples/peas/pears/kale/etc. She hated it. She wouldn't eat solids until we gave her what we were eating.
@mjolk I'll give it to you straight. It's basically a heavyish period. But it smells pretty gnarly. Mine lasted a long time. It lingered and lingered, but was light at the end. It really wasn't a big deal, I can hardly remember it. I know that is cliche too say, but you really are busy with your newborn. If you are breastfeeding, expect uterine cramping and more bleeding when you nurse. Nursing causes contractions to shrink your ute back. In terms of pain, I had an epesiotomy and stitches. My recovery was cake. Maybe I have a magical vagina, but I wasn't in any vaginal discomfort.
Did any of you have family who lives far away visiting after the birth? If so, what were your thoughts about having them around? Did you ever feel overwhelmed with too many people, or did you enjoy having family there to help out with cooking and such? Basically all of our family on both sides live very far away, and I'm wondering if it would be best to try and have them visit at different times so as to not be overwhelmed with a crowded house and a new baby.
When did you feel movement in subsequent pregnancies (#2, 3, etc.)?
I'm only on #3 now but I felt my first around 16 weeks and my second at 15 weeks. I think the main difference is that the second time around you are more aware of what early movement feels like so you notice it more.
On the other hand, I was much busier when I was pregnant with DS2 so it was almost harder to notice sometimes. I usually made sure to sit down quietly in the evenings and "feel" him. I missed so much during the day while chasing after a toddler.
Did any of you have family who lives far away visiting after the birth? If so, what were your thoughts about having them around? Did you ever feel overwhelmed with too many people, or did you enjoy having family there to help out with cooking and such? Basically all of our family on both sides live very far away, and I'm wondering if it would be best to try and have them visit at different times so as to not be overwhelmed with a crowded house and a new baby.
I'm interested as well. I have a thought that I forbid all but immediate family for the first 2 weeks. That way we can adjust and learn our new baby and routine. Does that sound irrational?
@mjolk I echo @ThePax89 with the heavy period and smell. My tears did not hurt (both times)! If you tear naturally it supposedly heals much better. I had pretty wicked tears, too. I also agree on the uterine cramping....it hurts while nursing and also you bleed more while nursing. That shrinking uterine pain has been the worst part of both of my recoveries and what I dreaded the second time (and it was much worse the second time)....I was in tears almost every time I nursed for several days because I felt like my uterus was in labor again! Heating pads and ibuprofen were my closest friends
@Dinozaur as a new mom I didnt need help caring for my baby. I did need help keeping the house clean and grocery shopping/cooking. I had no patience for visitors who just wanted to sit around and talk. I needed to sleep during down times. New babies are exhausting. Not to mention, with a newborn, my boobs were out 24/7, which was a bit awkward for some family. Can family come out and visit and stay elsewhere?
I had family travel to visit. They did absolutely nothing to help. We were playing host while they literally fell asleep on the couch while holding the baby - they came over to sleep when that's all we wanted to do. I wanted to strangle them.
I just have to say, I freaking love these posts!!! I'm learning so much through these and a lot has been brought up that I didn't even consider before. Thanks to all you STM's for responding!!
i was just really tender. I had minimal tearing. The only time I had pain is when I sneezed. The first time I sneezed, my sister literally LOL'd at me (she's had 2 kids). A year later, she had surgery for something and was complaining -- she had zero sympathy from me! I LOL'd back at her.
@sweetyjenj I was just about to post the same thing! So much good info that I didn't know I wanted to know! Thanks to all the experienced mamas out there. Keep sharing everything baby/pregnancy!
@ThePax89 I suppose they could stay elsewhere, although I feel like there would be some hurt feelings since we have a big guest room in the basement. I may have to space everyone out over the first several weeks. My husband's family is so sweet but they're way more "up in your business" than I'm used to with my family, so I could very well get annoyed with them. I'm an extremely private person, hopefully they'll kind of understand that.
Did any of you have family who lives far away visiting after the birth? If so, what were your thoughts about having them around? Did you ever feel overwhelmed with too many people, or did you enjoy having family there to help out with cooking and such? Basically all of our family on both sides live very far away, and I'm wondering if it would be best to try and have them visit at different times so as to not be overwhelmed with a crowded house and a new baby.
When DD was born we lived in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment. In the month after she was born, we had 3 extended visits: my two sisters, my mom and 1 of my sisters (who came up again about 2 weeks after her first visit), and my MIL and SIL. For us having them all visit at separate times was a really good thing; I really don't think any of them would've "shared" DD with each other (because TBH they still don't lol). My sisters only stayed until the day after we came home from the hospital; my one sister was in the delivery room with me and then they kept up with keeping the apartment clean while DH and I were gone. I will also say that my mom was WAY more helpful than the in-laws. She cooked dinner, did my laundry, stayed up with DD so I could sleep... she was a super hero. MIL and SIL were nice company but they did not go out of their way to actually help. They basically just wanted to hold a baby. This was partially my fault - MIL told me that if I wanted help all I had to do was ask and I just didn't feel comfortable asking her to do the things that my mom just stepped up and did... but she was definitely perfectly content to just sit on the couch with DD while my 3 week PP self balanced chores, grad school, and a newborn.
TL;DR for the first month or so I would advise only having guests who stay overnight if you know they'll actually help you. I personally was not ready to be a host and having guests who acted like guests stressed me out.
Thanks for the tips everyone! I'm thinking maybe I'll have my mom and sister out first, I know they'll be extremely helpful without me having to ask. I may have my husband wait to take his paternity leave whenever his side of the family visits, so if guest entertaining and chores do need to be done, I'll have him there to help out with that.
@Dinozaur as a new mom I didnt need help caring for my baby. I did need help keeping the house clean and grocery shopping/cooking. I had no patience for visitors who just wanted to sit around and talk. I needed to sleep during down times. New babies are exhausting. Not to mention, with a newborn, my boobs were out 24/7, which was a bit awkward for some family. Can family come out and visit and stay elsewhere?
Did any of you have family who lives far away visiting after the birth? If so, what were your thoughts about having them around? Did you ever feel overwhelmed with too many people, or did you enjoy having family there to help out with cooking and such? Basically all of our family on both sides live very far away, and I'm wondering if it would be best to try and have them visit at different times so as to not be overwhelmed with a crowded house and a new baby.
It really depends on your relationship with your family. How comfortable are you with them seeing you bare breasted, exhausted and not at your best? How good are they at respecting your boundaries and just being a real support system that cooks and cleans for you? Are they coming to truly help you or just to hold the baby?
my mother made my transition into being a new mom a living hell. They live far away so came to 'help' right before the birth and stayed a week after the baby came. My mother wanted to hold the baby, continually criticized all the things I was doing wrong and made me cry everyday. My brother and his family came and needed to be entertained and cooked for. The experience was so awful with visitors with baby#1 that I forbade anyone to visit with baby #2 until the baby was a month old. It caused a lot of disgruntlement in my family but it saved my sanity and made life so much better for me mentally the second time around.
Im a huge huge believer in prioritizing the mental health of a mother. If mom feels stable and in control, then baby will be properly cared for. Do what you need to to ensure that you have the environment you need once that baby is born. And know that you will feel raw and vulnerable so surround yourself only with those that will help you move forward.
@Dinozaur as a new mom I didnt need help caring for my baby. I did need help keeping the house clean and grocery shopping/cooking. I had no patience for visitors who just wanted to sit around and talk. I needed to sleep during down times. New babies are exhausting. Not to mention, with a newborn, my boobs were out 24/7, which was a bit awkward for some family. Can family come out and visit and stay elsewhere?
Ha! I should've read your response before pretty much repeating everything you said. Yes, all of this, spot on.
LastMango
member
Re: Ask a STM+ Week of 5/31
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
1) Is it normal not to see your OB at your first appointment? If so, when do you typically see them?
2) When do you start shopping for maternity clothes and what are the essentials to get? Not sure if I should be proactive and have some stuff ready or wait until stuff isn't fitting anymore.
Married: July 2015
BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
who will you see? An ultrasound tech? A midwife? I would be 100% fine with an ultrasound and a midwife visit. I'm not sure if it's normal or not.
As for maternity clothes, I recommend buying as you go/need stuff. I made the mistake of buying a ton of clothing at 7 weeks pregnant with my first. I bought all size large thinking that would be perfect. None of it ended up fitting, it ended up being too big. You don't know how your body will change.
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
DS born 4/06/14
MC #2 August 2015
CP November 2015
MC#3 January 2016
BFP 5/11/16 EDD 1/19/17
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
I've made baby food for both my girls with just a standard blender and it's been fine.
We have lots of hand me downs from family, and my boys share often. We bought new Car seats as needed for safety reasons, cribs we were given from family members, and we bought a new one after a flood since we had no way of knowing if the crib legs were compromised. There aren't very many things that I mind it being used vs new, but I think it's a personal preference thing!
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
**Question**
Did you feel the same stretching of your uterus early on as you did with your first pregnancy? How different were your symptoms between the two pregnancies?
MC mentioned
edited to add: The reason I ask is because this is my second pregnancy (first ended in MC at 9w) but it doesn't feel the same as my first.
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
Due 1/21/17
TW: Loss
Honestly it wasn't that bad (for me). There were no huge clots and the bleeding was steady but no heavier than a heavy period. It did last for a good 4 weeks (some much shorter) but all in all, it was fine.
That being said, the bleeding was not that bad for me. Basically just a very heavy, long-lasting period. What was more uncomfortable for me were postpartum hemorrhoids but those healed in time.
@Shawlls I went all out because it was dream to make my daughter baby food. I made her a freezer stash full of sweet potatoes/apples/peas/pears/kale/etc. She hated it. She wouldn't eat solids until we gave her what we were eating.
In terms of pain, I had an epesiotomy and stitches. My recovery was cake. Maybe I have a magical vagina, but I wasn't in any vaginal discomfort.
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
On the other hand, I was much busier when I was pregnant with DS2 so it was almost harder to notice sometimes. I usually made sure to sit down quietly in the evenings and "feel" him. I missed so much during the day while chasing after a toddler.
My tears did not hurt (both times)! If you tear naturally it supposedly heals much better. I had pretty wicked tears, too.
I also agree on the uterine cramping....it hurts while nursing and also you bleed more while nursing. That shrinking uterine pain has been the worst part of both of my recoveries and what I dreaded the second time (and it was much worse the second time)....I was in tears almost every time I nursed for several days because I felt like my uterus was in labor again! Heating pads and ibuprofen were my closest friends
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
i was just really tender. I had minimal tearing. The only time I had pain is when I sneezed. The first time I sneezed, my sister literally LOL'd at me (she's had 2 kids). A year later, she had surgery for something and was complaining -- she had zero sympathy from me! I LOL'd back at her.
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
TL;DR for the first month or so I would advise only having guests who stay overnight if you know they'll actually help you. I personally was not ready to be a host and having guests who acted like guests stressed me out.
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
my mother made my transition into being a new mom a living hell. They live far away so came to 'help' right before the birth and stayed a week after the baby came. My mother wanted to hold the baby, continually criticized all the things I was doing wrong and made me cry everyday. My brother and his family came and needed to be entertained and cooked for. The experience was so awful with visitors with baby#1 that I forbade anyone to visit with baby #2 until the baby was a month old. It caused a lot of disgruntlement in my family but it saved my sanity and made life so much better for me mentally the second time around.
Im a huge huge believer in prioritizing the mental health of a mother. If mom feels stable and in control, then baby will be properly cared for. Do what you need to to ensure that you have the environment you need once that baby is born. And know that you will feel raw and vulnerable so surround yourself only with those that will help you move forward.
June Siggy Challenge: Robert Downey Jr
37 yr old mama with 4yr old DD and 2 yr old DS
June Siggy Challenge: Robert Downey Jr
37 yr old mama with 4yr old DD and 2 yr old DS