TTC After a Loss

Housekeeping the boards

It has come to our attention that while we love the TWW and WTO boards, there is an aspect we, as a group, didn't take into consideration. The person who starts the board gets notified every time that someone posts a comment - and for the current TWW board was started on March 3rd, that individual got a BFP and then has sadly rejoined us - the thread is painful.

A few of us were thinking it would be good to have a weekly TWW and WTO and a TTA/benched thread - in addition to the check in thread. I'd start a vote/poll of some sort, but I don't know how. If someone does know how, that would be great - alternatively we could use this thread to voice some opinions. I was going to use the TWW thread - but the person who started it would like it to retire, and if I post there then the discussion continues there. Plus people not in their TWW, or not lurking on the TWW thread, would not know what is going on.

So what do you think? opinions please :)
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



Pregnancy Ticker






Re: Housekeeping the boards

  • I started responding to @Wishilivedinflorida about continuing the Monday check-ins and fortunately saw news about this thread before posting! So I am just going to post my initial thoughts here:

    I like the idea of Monday check-ins, in that anyone can participate, and we don't feel so "sectioned off." But I can see that getting to be *too* many weekly threads as well. Of course, we still have those fun threads (e.g. GTKY), and it's not like you're banned from posting in TWW if you're still WTO. So, I have no definite opinion on the Monday check-in. Just thoughts. 

    I definitely do like the idea of weekly TWW, WTO, and TTA/Benched threads.
  • We could set up a poll in doodle, if you want to poll.

    I like the idea of weekly TWW WTO and Benched threads, mostly because that way it will be easier to navigate, for example, if you want to follow up with a fellow bumpie's story, or if you want to find a question that was posted earlier, etc.

    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • edited May 2016
    I know I've only been here for a couple of months but I like the idea of the weekly TWW, WTO, and possibly TTA/benched threads :) Not sure what to do with the Monday check-ins, but feel like they could still work and have enough activity to be worth it?

    editing to add that I'm on the west coast and by the time I check some of the special daily posts (like Thankful Thursday etc) that I can sometimes find it overwhelming how many responses there are already so that's why I think the weekly posts along with the Monday check in and such won't be a problem :)
  • Or, we could do monthly TWW, benched, and WTO threads and we can mingle in between them when our status changes. Then keep the weekly check ins on Mondays and Fridays? That's also a possibility. 
  • I think a weekly for each WTO, TWW and benched/TTA would be a great idea. Usually after a few days each thread changed tones and resetting would probably be a good idea for things and people to not get lost. 
  • I'm okay with whatever the majority wants! I'm pretty go with the flow ;)
  • @Wishilivedinflorida I like the idea of having the boards be monthly and keeping the weekly check-ins as is. It keeps our board a tight-knit group (easier to follow up with ongoing discussions without leaping so much to a new thread of the same purpose) but helps to solve the issue of a super-long thread. 

    Weekly would still be fine with me if we went with that.
  • I agree with @Wishilivedinflorida and @dubcompanion : monthly TWW/WTO/benched boards may be easier to keep, and can totally co-exist with the regular weekly check-in.

    any other thoughts?

    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Now that I think about it, monthly actually might work better!
  • I like the idea of weekly as I see monthly benched, wto, etc. threads going off on tangents. I'm pretty much only here on weekends and seeing 40-50+ new replies in a thread definitely makes me shy away. But that's just my opinion, those that are on here more regularly should decide, majority rules, and I'm fine with whatever :smiley: 
    Me: 39 DH: 39
    CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
  • edited May 2016
    I'm personally down for whatever, as long as it's still vaguely free form. I don't thrive in rigid conditions.

    edit: not that I'm saying how I do best is more important than the majority rule! I always know when I need to bow out of something, so as long as everyone else is satisfied and comfortable, that's what my vote is for.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • GlitterGlitter member
    I like the benched check in. Im new to ttcal but I had a partial molar so im super benched for at least 9 months to a year.
  • chloe97chloe97 member
    I'm on board from the monthly WTO/TWW/Benched checkins. Thanks for honoring my request to retire the TWW Crazies thread. I'm happy to run the Benched monthly check in for the next few months as we figure out what's next for us.
  • Agree!  :wink: 
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm up for whatever - monthly or weekly works for me - I just think they need to retire on some sort of schedule 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • I agree @catiecatp on the retirement issue. As people move on for a variety of reasons, I'm sure nobody wants the reminder and alerts you get from responses etc. 

    I'm happy to start a WTO for the rest of May as a try out? Should we try a monthly and then if that seems inadequate during the trial period move to weekly?
  • Sounds great ... Any volunteer who is in the TWW to start the thread?
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • @BornReady Sounds like a good plan! :smile: 

    @yolandamunoz I'm WTO, otherwise I would. 

    I really like the idea of flexibility as we start out. It resolves the risk of becoming too rigid in our board protocol. It's awesome that we all feel comfortable sharing our opinions (and respecting others). One of the many reasons why this board is so wonderful. :smile: 
  • Monthly as a trial sounds great. I don't want to run the risk of becoming a place that tells grieving, confused people how they posted in the wrong place so we can't help them, but this is a by its very nature a board that will constantly be in flux - so retiring after a reasonable time period makes a whole lot of sense. I very much am on the same wavelength as @dubcompanion (must be a DW fan thing).

    I'll start the TWW thread. How should it be labelled? With a date? I'm not sure how to make it clear.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm I completely agree. I think this a good way to maintain balance with board organization without compartmentalizing people and telling them where they can and can't post. I brought up this suggestion mainly so that the threads wouldn't get so massive that people couldn't navigate through them. 
  • @Wishilivedinflorida I agree, 100% about the massive threads. That is the one thing that I have a hard time with on the infertility board. When I check the thread I am associated with there are like 70 new comments, and I just get too overwhelmed and forget about. 
  • @BornReady @Wishilivedinflorida It all makes sense to me! I like things tidy (but I also hate tight spaces). I just want people to feel comfortable, safe and satisfied with how things are around them.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @Wishilivedinflorida @BornReady Both of you nailed it! If there isn't a lot of organization, I feel uncertain about where and what to post. If it's too orderly, I'm intimidated, particularly when I see posters chiding others about posting in the wrong thread. Snarky GIFs also don't help. But hey, that's how those boards are run, and the majority there appear to be fine with the rules. I just prefer to not dabble in it. To each their own.
    @reneeannemm must be the Whovian vibes indeed :wink: 
  • I am also relieved that we don't get in trouble here for where we post and also find some of the other boards intimidating and just while I'm at it want to thank everyone for being so welcoming and supportive :) It's not an easy place to be but not feeling alone is huge <3
  • Wow, y'all have been busy! It looks like a lot happened over the weekend with regard to the function of the boards! I'm not a rule maker, but I like to fall in line, so I will do what's best for the group.

    I will echo @reneeannemm's sentiment, that what's most important to me is that this place doesn't become too rigid. We need to maintain a soft landing pad for those who seek out this board.

    Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013

    2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages

    TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016

    2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN

    Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017

    May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714

    EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!  <3 E. L. A. born 12/7/2017








  • @KyCade3013 Here was our general discussion from last month regarding board organization. 

    Sorry to bump your thread @catiecatp! Hope you don't mind a little reminder of us, we miss you and are sending you good vibes from this side!
  • No worries on reviving my threads - I lurking a bit - I miss you guys too. 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • I saw this half asleep and got really excited because at first I thought it was a GTKY about housework lmao. 
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