Pregnant after a Loss

Dec 31 2015 lost cash alan. Dec 17 2016 my rainbow baby is due!

Hi all! I'm new to this posting on the bump. Just seeing if anyone shares in my experience....getting pregnant after a still birth? Any advice to ease fears? It's bittersweet. This pregnancy is 2 weeks before with everything...we will always miss our first birn, cash alan, he was precious! 
Thanks for any advice!
CC, Tx

Re: Dec 31 2015 lost cash alan. Dec 17 2016 my rainbow baby is due!

  • Welcome @julie33. There are a handful of us pregnant after stillbirth on this board.  

    I'm currently 15 weeks and I'm 2 weeks behind where I was with my last pregnancy.  It can be so hard when all the milestones are so similar.  

    I have so little advice for easing fear.  When I'm really scared or panicked I always communicate it with my husband.  Sometimes just getting it out makes me feel better.  Maybe it's just me but keeping the fear in seems to just let my mind wonder with it and let it grow.  When I talk with someone about it they help me to shut down going even further into the fear.

    To help the time move along quicker I've been planning things every weekend.  Even if it's just to a movie or bowling.  Just always having a day of the week that's just going to be fun is helping a lot. 
  • Hey, I lost my son, Graham, at 39 weeks in September and am now almost 17 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. I'm due Oct 26th. It's really hard not to be scared all the time. With Graham, my placenta stopped functioning well in the 3rd trimester, but we couldn't find a specific cause as to why. The specialist I'm seeing for this pregnancy told me that sometimes it just happens. All we can do differently this time around is just monitor more closely. 

    Sometimes, having no reason is reassuring, and then, sometimes, I wish there was a concrete reason I could focus on this pregnancy. I try my hardest to celebrate this pregnancy. It can be hard to when I'm very much still actively grieving for Graham. I just tell myself baby steps, and I try to stay busy. My next goals are getting to 20 weeks and then getting to viability at 24 weeks. Breaking down my pregnancy into weeks has helped a little bit. I hope you are able to find small ways to make this rainbow pregnancy more bearable. :) 

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  • Welcome @julie33 and I'm sorry you have to find yourself here. My son was also stillborn last year, in November and I'm currently just shy of 20 weeks. It's a difficult road, but worth it. The only advice I have is to remember that every pregnancy is different. I lost my son, similarly to ShawnaTS, because the placenta stopped working, so I'm also seeing a specialist which helps reassure me. Just as the others have said, planning at least one small thing a weekend really helps me. I just realized the other day that I don't have a free weekend until AUGUST and even then, I only have 2 free. This weekend a little day trip, next weekend our actual anniversary, the following anniversary trip, ect... it helps to have other things to look forward to and be excited about instead of counting down the weeks. I find myself saying "Yes! Vegas in 2 weeks!" and then realizing "OH! AND I'll be 22 weeks!" 

    Unfortunately there isn't much anyone can say to take the fear and anxiety away, but we're all here to help and support when needed! Sending hugs! <3
    Me: 31 | DH: 43
    BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
    Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
    BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
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