Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

still sad

It will be 10 weeks since my d&c tomorrow. I am still very upset about my loss and cry often. I would have been half way thru this pregnancy. It seems no one cares how I am doing anymore. They assume I have moved on because they all have. I think of what would of been all the time. I am spiteful of people who announce their pregnancies and very jealous and bitter. I don't want to keep bringing it up to my H because I feel like he will think I am stewing and need to focus on the child we have already. I just can't seem to move forward and with Mother's Day approaching I am developing a lot of anxiety about it. I don't want to feel like this but I can't help it.  I have had 2 AF's since then and obviously this 1st one was very emotional and everyone understood then. This last one seems to have put me in a worse emotional state. I can't shake this feeling of sadness. I am losing hope for the future and feel like I took my 1st pregnancy/newborn stage for granted. I want talk to my friends but don't know how to bring it up without seeming like I am crazy. I know we all heal and grieve differently but I feel like I am going in reverse. Thanks for listening, sometimes it helps just to get it out there.

Re: still sad

  • I don't have many words right now other than I'm sorry and I understand <3 I feel like miscarriage can be such a lonely thing to go through and only someone who has been through it (unfortunately) will truly "get it". I've had two AF's since my last mc, too, and the second one had me bawling also :( I think about it all the time but rarely talk about it and other than DH I think everyone thinks I'm over it.

    Take your time to grieve. Talk here when you need to. Try opening up to maybe your closest friends but be prepared that you may not get the response you want. There's such pressure to "be okay" and I hate that. Hugs
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I understand. I try to keep myself from figuring out how many weeks I would be now. It's so hard to go through. I also understand the feeling spiteful/jealous/bitter of other peoples pregnancies. I'm right there with you :( *hugs* It HAS to get better. It will <3
    Me 29 I Him 26
    Married 4/22/16
    TTC 9/2015
    BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
    TTCAL 6/15/16
    BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

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  • I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Your story is very similar to mine (except I don't have any other children). I feel that no one cares anymore and no one realizes how much I am still hurting. And I know no one will understand because they haven't been through it. You chose a great place to come and vent because, unfortunately, we all know exactly how you are feeling. We are all here for you. 
  • I know exactly how you are feeling, like everyone else said those who have not gone through it expect you to be moving on. I recently told a friend who has one child and is currently pregnant, we would of been due weeks from each other, and she opened up to me about her two miscarriages before her daughter. Even though it had been more than 5 years since her first you can still see and hear the emotion in her voice while talking about it. I honestly don't think I will ever "get over it" I think we just learn how to deal with it and try our best to keep moving. I am sorry you are having such a hard time and hope this board will give you some comfort.
    Married: June 2011
    TTC #1: September 2015-January 2016
    BFP #1: 1/25/16 - MMC Diagnosed 3/22/16
    TTCAL: June 2016
    BFP #2: 8/26/16 - EDD 5/9/17
    Jackson born 5/6/17 at 8:36 PM - 9lbs 5oz & 21in
      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @lilylover27 you are absolutely correct. We don't get over it, we just get through it. My first mc was ten years ago and it still makes me horribly sad. Each loss, if you're unfortunate to have more than one, is different and unique and will trigger different things. I have always found this quote somewhat comforting:
  • Oh that's a great one!
  • rkrouparkroupa member
    I completely understand how you feel. It has been 10 weeks since my D&C and I'm still a mess. I haven't gotten my period yet and I cry weekly waiting for it. It sucks. My parents haven't asked me how I am doing in over a month. It is so isolating and such a hard thing to go through. We are here for you if you need to vent. You aren't alone!!
    Me: 31  DH: 31
    Married: 11.2.14
    TTC: October 2015
    BFP: 1.24.16
    Confirmed MC: 2.25.16 at 8 weeks. Blighted Ovum.
    Baby Due: 4.24.17
    Confirmed M/C 10.27.16 at 14 weeks; D&C 10/28/16

  • fioripfiorip member
    I get where you're coming from and I understand your frustration. It sucks, I wish I had better encouraging words for you but it really just takes time, not to forget it or get over it, but to learn to live with it.  

    There'll be good days and bad days. Remember you are not alone, you can always just write it down and get it out there and we are here for you. 
    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

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