Hospital Stay

lm45678

This just came up and I'm wondering what everyone else is doing. I had an idea of what I wanted and never thought twice about it, until my mom said something. So just wondering...

Is your DH/SO spending the night in the hospital with you during your postpartum stay? Why or why not?

splsmama2016

If I have to be awake at random intervals throughout the day, so does he lol. Not really. It's important for the three of us to be able to have those first days together at all times (or most of it) to take advantage of the bursing staff. He may have questions I didn't think of but that are great to know. 

colesmom33

When my DS was born, my DH stayed the whole time.  I loved having him there and he loved being there for me and the baby.  He was able to go with the baby anytime they took him for tests or anything.  This time, having my son makes it more complicated.  I want this to be as least traumatic as I can make it for him.  My mom has offered to stay with him but I think it makes more sense to have my husband go home every night with him.  I think my husband was a little disappointed when I told him I didn't think he should stay, so he might stay the first night.  We'll see ...

MsBeachNJ

We are first time parents and DH will be with me 24/7, we don't want him to miss anything and I need him there for my own comfort. We plan to keep the baby in the room overnight (not the hospital nursery) so we want our first night all together & to have us learning how to care for baby together. 

cmac827

Our birthing center has queen size beds so dads can stay. DH is staying with me 24/7 and I have a bag packed for him too.

DeePaddy24

Absolutely! As a FTM I don't want him leaving my side, & I strongly doubt he'd want to. Though, depending on the time of our LO's arrival we may not even have to stay over night. Our hospitals policy is "up to 24hr," but you're discharged as soon as mom & baby meet certain criteria. I've had friends deliver in the morning & be home that same evening. 

tan&web

it is still up in the air for us.  the hospital is not very far away from our home and we do have our furbaby at home.  It needs to be a discussion

NLewis1

Not this time - it's important to us that our not quite 2 year old sleeps in his own bed with his normal routine in place during that time as much as possible (obviously if we have baby in the middle of the night that one night would be different). But the first time around he did. 

Tawny87

I voted haven't decided yet. Why I say that is because they (my 2 1/2 yr olds)  don't really sleep well at my parents so we are debating my hubby spending the night or nights at home with our girls and my mom staying with me at the hospital.

Bear14+

He will stay with me at the hospital. My mom will be at my house with DS. DS adores my mom... she comes over every weekend so it's not stressful on him at all. 

goldie987

I actually would prefer that he not stay!  Why have both of us be sleep deprived if he can go home, get a good night's sleep and come back in the morning.  Then I can nap all I want during the day and know the baby is being watched by someone who isn't exhausted.  We also have a dog at home and I want his routine to be a close to normal as possible to ease into the transition of having a baby come home. 

cjackrunfast78

With my first two, yes their dad stayed at the hospital with me. For these last two? No, my SO will not be staying at the hospital. We live about 15 minutes away from the hospital so he could be there in an instant if needed but depending on when this baby comes he may need to get the teens to school and our 3 year old to daycare. Plus my 3 year old needs to stay on her routine.

Rosehip15

Do these hospitals have only private rooms for maternity?  

goldie987

Rosehip15 said:

Do these hospitals have only private rooms for maternity?  

Mine has mostly private rooms.  SOs can only stay over if you're in a private room, semi-private/shared rooms don't allow overnight staying. 

Tawny87

Our hospital is only private rooms. Thank goodness!!!!

thycapa

I'm a FTM and want my husband to stay with me since we both don't really know what to expect. My parents have agreed to watch the dogs so they aren't neglected during these few days.

ahernandez16

He'll stay. Ideally I'll deliver at a hospital almost an hour away and it just doesn't make sense for him to drive home and come right back the next day. We'll just need to find someone to watch our dog. 

MynaBird

Our hospital also has only private rooms on the mother-baby unit and encourages partners to stay. (The nurses also teach you how to game the meal system so both parents can eat, since meals aren't technically provided for partners.) Last time my husband stayed most of the time, but we haven't decided what we'll do this time. I would rather have him with me, and our daughter will have to stay with her grandparents at least during labor and delivery, but I'm not sure what we'll do for the rest of the stay.

mdargie

Probably for the first couple nights (RCS) but we'll see. It might be easier without his horrible snoring in the mix but it really depends on how things go and whether or not out family from out of town will be here to stay with dd. 

HeartLikeMine3

I put yes but it will only be for the first night. My DS will stay with my mom one night but then I'll want DH to go home and be with him so looks like my last night I'll be solo. With DS he stayed with me 24/7 except to go get me food ha!

fishwife799

Our hospital is two hours away so he will be staying. Our kids will stay home and his parents will be staying with them. 

colesmom33

NLewis1 said:

Not this time - it's important to us that our not quite 2 year old sleeps in his own bed with his normal routine in place during that time as much as possible (obviously if we have baby in the middle of the night that one night would be different). But the first time around he did. 

Our kids are the same age and I feel exactly the same way!! 

AOliveira11

Husband will def be staying. Our hosp is only private rooms. My daf is taking our dog and my bff is coming yo take care of the cats since my dad is allergic. I may send DH home for a night depending on how long we need to stay (natural vs. csection) do he can get some rest, but we're in it together. He too shall suffer uncomfortable sleep in a hospital bed lol

AmberLiz99

I voted maybe. 

With our first my husband stayed the whole time. 

With th our second he stayed the night because it was a weekend and my parents came down to stay with our son overnight. 

This time it will just depend on if my mom can come down or not, and a million other factors. I'm not counting on it. 

NLewis1

My hospital is only private rooms and provides a "steak meal" (you get a menu so technically don't have to have steak if you don't want it) for both parents, but only one night. It's also only 15 minutes from our house - but then again we live in a town of 26,000 so pretty much everything is 15 minutes from our house haha

lm45678

Thanks for all the responses!

I'm a FTM and our hospital is all private mother/baby rooms. I want my DH there for support, help, and so that I don't need to bother the nurses too much. Our hospital discourages baby going to the nursery so I'll be up all night changing, nursing, etc.

I used to work as a mother/baby nurse and from what I remember almost all first time parents the dad stayed. A lot of STM+ used the time to bond with baby and have a break from the older kids. (I'm sure that will be me next time!) I didn't even think twice about having DH stay the night, but my mom thought I was crazy for wanting my DH there the whole time!

Thanks for making me feel rational

alitria

I guess it will depend upon what's happening but he didn't stay last time and this time we also have a three year old at home.  My husband is sort of a jerk about getting sleep and he wanted to go home and sleep in his bed because there wasn't a comfortable place for him to stay in the hospital.  He came back the next day and brought me some stuff and spent time with the baby (he was in the NICU, not my room) but then left again and came back the next day when I went home with him.  I was allowed to leave after the first night, but they let me crash in the bed there since they had space after I was officially discharged because I wanted to be near my son.  After that, there wasn't really any room and I had to leave. I'm sure this it will depend on how things go.  If things are fine, I'd probably prefer he be with our son.  If anything is wrong with me or the baby or I have a c section I might feel differently, though I generally would rather be alone than deal with him when he hasn't slept.  He has many, many fine qualities.  The ability to cope with being tired isn't one of them. 

vulpini

colesmom33 said:

NLewis1 said:

Not this time - it's important to us that our not quite 2 year old sleeps in his own bed with his normal routine in place during that time as much as possible (obviously if we have baby in the middle of the night that one night would be different). But the first time around he did. 

Our kids are the same age and I feel exactly the same way!! 

This for us too, except we have a not quite 3 year old.  He is used to a very set bedtime routine and still wakes up once in the middle of the night several times a week, so having daddy home will be a lot less traumatic than if grandma tries to settle him at 2am.  I can manage on my own at night and the nurses will be there if I need help.  DH will go home to take care of our toddler sometime after my epidural wears off and I can walk normally again.

The first time, my husband started out spending the first night at the hospital, but he couldn't sleep on the little couch and so went home at 1am (that hospital was only 20 minutes away, our current one will be 45 minutes away).  During our stay, I got up every 3 hours during the night to pump and take the milk over to the NICU.  I would stay and do one night feed and let the nurses do the other two so I could sleep more while I had the chance. There wasn't anything for my husband to do at night that the NICU nurses couldn't handle, so he would go home at 9pm every day to sleep so at least one of us could be well rested.  During the day, he would spend some time in the NICU without me while I took a nap.  

rlbrooks84

This is my third and my husband will go home at night to be with our boys, I have my mom and a couple of backup people to watch the boys when I go into labor. With both my boys my water broke in the middle of the night so we need someone to come over and be here while I'm in labor. But I enjoyed the alone time at night in the hospital. I really liked the hospital I delivered at with my boys. With my first my husband stayed the night but not with the second. I can't breastfeed for medical reasons so I'll keep the baby in the nursery at night and then I always had the nurses bring the baby as soon as I was up in the morning. I also didn't have any issues bonding with my boys, I think if I have any issues bonding with LO I would keep her in my room at night. 

splsmama2016

Our hospital doesn't have a nursery, technically. It JUST for nicu and for standard testing, if you choose to have those tests done before you leave, so baby stays with you at all times. And they're all private rooms as well. That's awesome that BOTH parents get to share a meal together (im assuming it's included with your stay). For us, my meals are included, all three meals a day. If H wants a meal but doesn't want to leave the hospital or go to the cafeteria, he can pay $5 and order anything off the menu. I thought that was cool.

kbodemann

We already have one son, if during the week then my DH will be home at night with him, if over a weekend then DH will stay with me and my mom will be with our son....all depends on timing.

HBamama2B

This wasn't an option on the poll, but we are planning Homebirth, so... Yeah DH and I both get to rest in our ultra comfy bed. Super stoked about that.

MistKeeper

DH will definitely be staying. I want the support, but I also want him to feel included and bond with the baby. From the very beginning I want him to have a role in the baby's life,  so it really feels like we're in this new experience together. Because I'll be doing the actual birthing, breastfeeding, and daytime care, I think finding ways for DH to bond and feel included are essential for us. 

jennk0118

He did with my first born. But saying that.. Because of my first born, he'll come as when he can. We have a pup that needs to be taken care of. Plus, the hospital is only 15 minutes away. I'm looking forward to my alone time with baby girl. It'll give me a chance to breastfeed (my son wouldn't latch.. So I missed that experience) without an audience. 

snowhite12

My H stayed the entire 3 days when our DD was born. He doesn't fair well in hospitals and was very annoying. H was also a smoker back then and was going through nicotine withdrawal I believe.
We are delivering in the same hospital and DD will be almost 3 and staying with my parents. Since we have a fur baby at home, H will be traveling back and forth but will stay every night. I have a feeling the hospital stay will be better this time, he quit smoking a year ago and will be able to get a break from the hospital to go check on our fur baby throughout the day.

Rosehip15

Wow - leave New York City & you get steak & a private room!  Not so here...oh well.

xc1148

laurenm2123 said:

Thanks for all the responses!

I'm a FTM and our hospital is all private mother/baby rooms. I want my DH there for support, help, and so that I don't need to bother the nurses too much. Our hospital discourages baby going to the nursery so I'll be up all night changing, nursing, etc.

I used to work as a mother/baby nurse and from what I remember almost all first time parents the dad stayed. A lot of STM+ used the time to bond with baby and have a break from the older kids. (I'm sure that will be me next time!) I didn't even think twice about having DH stay the night, but my mom thought I was crazy for wanting my DH there the whole time!

Thanks for making me feel rational

Keep in mind that times have changed! Dads used to be barely involved, so for some people of an older generation it can be weird.  I think my MIL is still a bit weirded out by how much my husband helps out. My husband stayed with me 24/7 (his mom took the dog) and he changed all the diapers for the first 3 days. This time I asked if he wanted to stay with our daughter and he wants to be at the hospital with me for at least the first day so my mom will come to our house.

Bear14+

xc1148 said:

laurenm2123 said:

Thanks for all the responses!

I'm a FTM and our hospital is all private mother/baby rooms. I want my DH there for support, help, and so that I don't need to bother the nurses too much. Our hospital discourages baby going to the nursery so I'll be up all night changing, nursing, etc.

I used to work as a mother/baby nurse and from what I remember almost all first time parents the dad stayed. A lot of STM+ used the time to bond with baby and have a break from the older kids. (I'm sure that will be me next time!) I didn't even think twice about having DH stay the night, but my mom thought I was crazy for wanting my DH there the whole time!

Thanks for making me feel rational

Keep in mind that times have changed! Dads used to be barely involved, so for some people of an older generation it can be weird.  I think my MIL is still a bit weirded out by how much my husband helps out. My husband stayed with me 24/7 (his mom took the dog) and he changed all the diapers for the first 3 days. This time I asked if he wanted to stay with our daughter and he wants to be at the hospital with me for at least the first day so my mom will come to our house.

H's dad (he's 80) did not understand why H took a week off work after DS was born. He has 7 kids and basically never changed any diapers. Oh man...how the times have changed! 

Bee112309

DH always stays with me; our daughters will stay at my ILs house when I have the baby. I'm due right around when DD1's school year ends (she's in 1st grade); if I go into labor early and she is still in school, then my MIL will stay at our house with them instead if it's during the week. They sleep over there often enough that they are really excited about the idea of staying a couple of nights at Grandma's house. Our hospital is only 10 minutes from home, so DH will go home once a day to take care of our cats. We both really cherish that initial bonding time with the baby, so the idea of him staying home after the baby is born didn't even cross our minds.

lm45678

Bear14+ said:

xc1148 said:

laurenm2123 said:

Thanks for all the responses!

I'm a FTM and our hospital is all private mother/baby rooms. I want my DH there for support, help, and so that I don't need to bother the nurses too much. Our hospital discourages baby going to the nursery so I'll be up all night changing, nursing, etc.

I used to work as a mother/baby nurse and from what I remember almost all first time parents the dad stayed. A lot of STM+ used the time to bond with baby and have a break from the older kids. (I'm sure that will be me next time!) I didn't even think twice about having DH stay the night, but my mom thought I was crazy for wanting my DH there the whole time!

Thanks for making me feel rational

Keep in mind that times have changed! Dads used to be barely involved, so for some people of an older generation it can be weird.  I think my MIL is still a bit weirded out by how much my husband helps out. My husband stayed with me 24/7 (his mom took the dog) and he changed all the diapers for the first 3 days. This time I asked if he wanted to stay with our daughter and he wants to be at the hospital with me for at least the first day so my mom will come to our house.

H's dad (he's 80) did not understand why H took a week off work after DS was born. He has 7 kids and basically never changed any diapers. Oh man...how the times have changed! 

So true- I bet my grandma would be shocked that H is gonna be in the delivery room!

MamaMJ2

My SO will be staying with me in the hospital. This is my second child, but it is his first and I don't think he wants to miss a second that he doesn't have to. And ive also made a point to explain to him how traumatic it was for me to have my ex-husband leave me and baby at the hospital by ourselves so he could go hang out with his friends the first night, and subsequently missed our sons circumcision the next morning (that he promised he would be back in time for.....yes I am HAPPILY divorced haha) My 5 yo will stay with my parents and our house is only 15 minutes away so SO will be able to run home to take care of our dog periodically (and my parents will be helping out with the dog too)