Just sad — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Just sad

So... any TTC out there that is just sad. My husband and I got married this past Nov.21st and we have been TTC since. I was 5 days late this past cycle and for a split second I truly thought I was pregnant. I headed off to work after taking a PT that showed 2 faint lines then disappeared to nothing... then an hour after work began I started. I have never really got upset until today. I am just sad and feel like it's never going to happen. Anyone out there just sad? I am 30 (turning 31 on Sunday) and I am afraid it's not going to happen. 

Re: Just sad

  • MollyandDMollyandD
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    edited April 2016
    You're very young to say it's not going to happen. It takes some people longer than others. That doesn't mean you won't become pregnant ever. 

    ETA: I've got friends and family that have taken up to a year to conceive, and others that got pregnant in the first month of trying. Everyone has different luck and a different body. 

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  • TTC sucks for a lot of people.  I am just starting the journey this time around, but I have dealt with infertility in the past, so I get it.

    Just try to remind yourself of these things: first, that even healthy couples can take a year to conceive without having any issues, so you have no reason to worry at this point; second, that you are young and have plenty of time to figure things out if there ARE any issues; and third...okay I don't have a third.  But I feel for you.

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • I'm sorry you are having a rough day.  I wouldn't give up hope.  It takes the average couple with no fertility issues a year to conceive.  I would start charting if you aren't already.  

    Me: 32 DH: 31
    Married:  July 14, 2007
    TTC #1:  January 2008
    Surprise BFP:  November 2009
    DD Born: July 10, 2010
    TTC #2:  April 2016
    CP:  September 2016
    Chart Stalk Me

  • CoonMomCoonMom
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2016
    I can totally relate. I've been trying since January 2015. It took until November 2015 to get KU. Sadly it ended in a MC at 6 weeks. Last month hit me the hardest. I would get my rainbow baby before I turn 30 in January, it would be safe to tell people around Mother's Day, I would be due around my MC date, I could go on. What was the worst was I was truly 3 days late. I tempted and confirmed Ovulation CD15. My longest LP was 14 days.  I had sore boobs, no cramps, and all the signs I had with my pregnancy except negative tests. What they say is true...you are regular until you're not.

    ETA: I had a gut feeling that something was "wrong"/a reason why it was taking so long. In late August I had a gallstone attack that send me to surgery to remove it early October. They discovered and removed endo. Two months later I got KU. I'm not suggesting there is something wrong, just suggesting investigating family history. It may or may not help. My sister has/had endo and got KU on her first try.

    Trust me, I know this journey sucks. Keep your head up and have a little faith. Feel free to PM me if you want to vent/talk.

    ~Formerly @dogmomwantinghuman ~
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    TTC #1 since January 2015
    BFP #1: 11/30/15| MC 12/16/15BFP # 2: 6/2/16 | EDD 2/16/17

  • MrsFL2015MrsFL2015
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2016
    If you've been trying since November, I would not get discouraged.  There is only a 20% chance of conceiving during any given cycle.  That's very low! So, this process does take time.  Are you charting/tempting?  Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility?  If not, I suggest you start ASAP!  It's going to change your thinking about TTC.    I just started reading and I had a huge "aha" moment.  There are people who are lucky enough to get pregnant while NTNP (I'm not sure if that's your current method) but for others it does take precise planning/charting, etc. 

    Stay positive and good luck! 
  • I'm sorry you are having a sad day. TTC for 5 months is not very long though. You are well within the year normal couples take to conceive. 
  • Wow! Thank you ladies... SO MUCH! How do I tempt? I have an app on my phone to chart my menstrual cycle and the high fertile days. I also just bought a ovulation 1 month kit. One month (2 MONTHS ago) on my journey I had a clear blue digital "Positive" result then 3 "negative" results to follow. So... its been an emotional roller coaster. 
  • mrsdee15mrsdee15
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2016
    I second all the suggestions you've gotten.  I get it, we all get it.  We all have bad TTC days.  I, just like you, am 30, about to turn 31 in a few weeks, and have been trying for 5 cycles.  Honestly, temping and tracking OPKs/CM/CP, plus board participation here has really made a difference.  It makes me feel in control, and like there are others going through the same thing.  You should join in!

    ETF words.
    DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, 
    then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.

    Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
    because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • I hear ya @WhitSawyer21 ;
    **TW loss mentioned**

    I am on month 7 and I've had a chemical pregnancy and a loss at 8 weeks and was benched for 2 months. Its been a crazy, dragged out experience and some days I am so sad and I dont even want to try anymore. BUT there are other days where DH and I take advantage of not being pregnant, or having LOs and we go out, we have a hot date night, and a non stressful night together.  Its a long, difficult process, but it can also be rewarding, interesting, and a lot of fun. Like a cpl of PPs have said, when your sad, be sad! Eat some ice cream, watch some trash TV and feel bad for yourself. Believe me, some times you just need to. But, jump right back into it. Read some books, and some articles, educate your husband and get him interested too, and have fun!

    Me: 28 DH: 28
    Married: 9/25/2015
    TTC: #1
    CP: Nov. 2015
    MC: Mar. 2016
    BFP: 8/9/16
    EDD: 4/17/17

  • Oh my gosh yes, I've had those sad days. I've just started crying a few times because of it, with no specific trigger.

    I definitely suggest getting into temping and knowing exactly when you're fertile - it will likely help you get pregnant, and even if it doesn't, it gives you that satisfaction of knowing you did everything you could each cycle. I'm in a position where we are very unlikely to conceive naturally right now but it's still technically possible, so I'm gonna chart everything I can and have sex on all the right days, to make the most of that tiny percent of a chance.
    Me 31  DH 36
    Married March 2013
    TTC #1 June 2015
  • Liss_37Liss_37
    Long-Lasting Membership 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2016
    totally with you there. I've had many sad days along this journey. In May 2014 I miscarried and then my husband got sick and we could not TTC until he was well again. So we began again in November 2015. It's been a long hard journey that has seen its share of tears, but that's okay. We have our sad days and then we pick ourselves up and we go on. This place is a wonderful forum for support, and I hope you'll stick with us along your journey. it truly does help a ton.

    Me: 37
    DH: 36
    Married: 08-25-07
    DS: 11-20-09

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

    Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken

  • @WhitSawyer21 as pp's have mentioned, temping is a huge help with the craziness. Walmart carried basal body temperature thermometers and of course theres always the internet. I got my mabis on amazon for around 7 bucks. My wake up schedule is somewhat erratic in terms of when I need to get up but you need to temp at the same time every day (right when waking up, before you get up/drink/talk/etc) and after at least 3 consecutive hours of sleep, so I figured the earliest I would need to get up on a regular basis and thats when I temp, even on weekends. Then when I'm done (takes about a minute or so) I just go back to sleep if I dont need to be up. Personally, I record my temp right then in the fertility friend app, but most of the BBT thermometers have a memory for the last temp taken so when you turn it on it will show for a second. I know some ladies take theirs, pass back out until they need to get up and then turn it on and record

    I also completely get being sad, I'll be 30 in June and we're on month 6 (in the TWW right now) some days just suck and you get in a funk. I can sit there and quote statistics and afirmations to myself and it wone make a difference, but then other days I'm all rawr! lets do this! even if its CD1 after convincing myself that I was pregnant. Its very emotional and slightly draining. Try to relax and take care of yourself for a bit (mani, pedi, gym, whatever makes you feel better) tomorrow is another day, and it will be a better one.

    Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09
    DS born 3/11
    Angel Baby 3 6/28/11                                                         9/5/17 BFP!!
    divorced October 2014                                                       9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
    Married DH 10/15     DH's DS born 6/09                            9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
    Not preventing since 11/15                                                 EDD 5/8/18        Adjusted 5/15/18
    TTC since 1/1/16                                                                9/27/17 we have a heart beat!

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy TrackerBabysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @whitsawyer21 I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. I have been trying for 2 1/2 years now and I feel down and question if it will ever happen as well. But try to stay positive during this difficult time.  

    Me: 29 DH: 35

    TTC since: 12/2013

    Unexplained Infertility- arcuate uterus diagnosed 6/2016 

    MC: 12/25/2014

    3 IUIs with Clomid- BFN- 2016

    Fresh IVF cycle-BFN- 7/2016

    PGS testing- 8/15/2016

    FET- 10/3/16-BFP!!! Beta #1- 736 Beta #2 3,223 Beta #3 22,015

  • Ok that great sperm race on you tube is kind of funny and entertaining! Love it.
  • @ladystinson I had that potato as my phone screensaver for months when I was going through a tough time! It's so incredibly cute.
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • My husband and I have been trying to have baby number two for over a year now. This month I absolutely thought I finally got pregnant and was super convinced it finally happened but today I got my Bfn . I am so sad, I do think it will happen again. 
  • Hang in there! Give yourself time to grieve and work with the disappointment but get right back up again... everything that is meant to be takes time. Every cycle can be filled with enough ups and downs to discourage you, but try to inure yourself. Build up your 'armor' and don't be dragged down for too long by each disappointment. **I found that after 4 years of multiple losses, fertility treatments and great sadness- its important to try and bounce back! Also, Strawberry (pick your favorite!) Haagen-Daz is really good:)
  • Thank you... Thank you ladies! I feel much better today and let myself go last night and cry it all out. I am excited to start using my ovulation kit. Is there any truth into putting a pillow under your butt and your legs in the air after sex? 
  • Thank you... Thank you ladies! I feel much better today and let myself go last night and cry it all out. I am excited to start using my ovulation kit. Is there any truth into putting a pillow under your butt and your legs in the air after sex? 
    Sorry you were feeling down but glad you're feeling better today.  As to the bolded, please don't do that.  There is no truth to that.  Sperm are fast and get where they need to within seconds.  All you are going to get by doing that is a higher risk of a UTI.  It's really not necessary.
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