Baby Blues?

Muggle lover

Anyone else feeling baby blues? How are you coping?

I love my little one but everyday I go through a period (sometimes two) where I regret having him. I feel so terrible about it! I know I love him and the other parts of the day he just melts my heart. I start to feel overwhelmed with the idea of taking care of him. I feel like I can't do it and the thought of even changing a diaper seems so daunting. Then I feel extreme guilt and that he deserves a better mom which ultimately turns into a feeling of regret for having him. I know it sounds terrible. I called my doctor yesterday and she said to wait it out a week to see if I start to feel better. In the meantime, DH and my mom have been great! DH works from home when he can and my mom comes over when he can't so I almost always have support right next to me. 

cmjenkies

I feel like your doctor shouldn't have dismissed it so quickly - if things persist or get worse, please call her office back. They should be more diligent about screening and appropriately managing PPD. I'm glad to hear you have good support at home in the meantime. Hang in there. 

runningwild

I think what you're going through can be totally normal. I just had my 3rd LO. And I sometimes have those what have I gotten myself into feelings. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed. But I love my LOs and wouldn't change it if I could. It gets easier. 

That said, I wouldn't hesitate to reach out to your dr. again if you don't feel better soon. Hang in there.

ashleymarie1027

I've gone through a bit of the regret feeling you describe, but mind is also associated with guilt of not spending enough time with my older son (21 month old, and a mamas boy). I've tried to focus on positive outcomes... In my case, my round the clock feeding schedule ( combating hi Bilirubin and low weight gain)  has meant my older son and husband have spent more time together, particularly at bedtime. My son used to refuse letting anyone else put him to bed but me, and now he is willingly going with my husband… Which I know makes my husband very happy. 

Bellodomani

Lurking from May since I may get induced this week... I know exactly what you're feeling and had moments just like that with my first son. When he was like 5 days old I broke down sobbing to my husband because I was worried we would never have another lazy Saturday of just watching dumb movies and cuddling again. I would definitely say that I had moments where I regretted having him, but I never felt a desire to hurt him or myself, which is where I really think it's important to get professional help. My moods evened out quite a bit after the first two weeks but I eventually ended up struggling with postpartum anxiety for several months. I had close friends who brought it up to me when I was 5-6 months postpartum and at that point I did seek counseling. 

Also, and this may not be the case with you at all but I feel like it's good to talk about openly- while I absolutely loved my son as an infant, I didn't truly start enjoying and looking forward to being around him until he was 10 or 11 months old and he started to show more of his personality. He's 2.5 now and we have a great, very close relationship and I adore being around him most of the time. The newborn days just weren't really my thing and I anticipate the same potentially being true with this baby. 

rebelone

I wouldn't wait. Tell your doctor you need help now. I'm going through a variation of this myself although I am also dealing with many panic attacks which was also triggered by my extended hospital stay and my health scare after my C Section. Just today I was bawling my eyes out feeling hopeless so I think I have both PPD / PPA. My doctor put me on a prescription to start with right away and I'll be calling my counselor first thing on Monday to try and get seen sooner. In the meantime, I sought out other people online to relate to, which another place to do so is here. I wish you well, and if you need, I'm here.

ashleymarie1027

Bellodomani said:

Lurking from May since I may get induced this week... I know exactly what you're feeling and had moments just like that with my first son. When he was like 5 days old I broke down sobbing to my husband because I was worried we would never have another lazy Saturday of just watching dumb movies and cuddling again. I would definitely say that I had moments where I regretted having him, but I never felt a desire to hurt him or myself, which is where I really think it's important to get professional help. My moods evened out quite a bit after the first two weeks but I eventually ended up struggling with postpartum anxiety for several months. I had close friends who brought it up to me when I was 5-6 months postpartum and at that point I did seek counseling. 

Also, and this may not be the case with you at all but I feel like it's good to talk about openly- while I absolutely loved my son as an infant, I didn't truly start enjoying and looking forward to being around him until he was 10 or 11 months old and he started to show more of his personality. He's 2.5 now and we have a great, very close relationship and I adore being around him most of the time. The newborn days just weren't really my thing and I anticipate the same potentially being true with this baby. 

I also second the point about not loving the newborn stage. I'm more excited this time, only because I know what to expect, but the first time I was pretty clueless as to what to do with an infant when not feeding or sleeping. 

sarahufl

PPD is so common and fairly normal. Think about what your body just went through! Think about ALL the life changes you are going through all at once. I hope you get the treatment you need and deserve and don't feel guilty about your feelings. 

It is awesome that your mom and H are there to help. 

Muggle lover

Thanks all, I broke down and called my doctor last night. She agreed to see me on Monday and will try to get me in to see their psychiatrist as soon as possible. I feel extremely lucky I have a great support system. My DH (was a psych major and went through depression himself) has been extremely supportive and understanding. He has also really stepped up on baby duty despite still having to work 40+ hours a week. I wouldn't know what I'd do without him and my mom. 

redselig

@Muggle lover I'm glad you sought help. Take care and all the best to you.