Pregnant after a Loss

Bouncing baby @ 12wk US but still nervous to announce

Hi ladies,

I had my NT US last Thursday (12wk 1d) and we saw a healthy, high active baby, with a strong heart beat and measuring right on. However, I can't help but still feel nervous to tell people. It sounds silly but I feel like I'm gonna jinx it. My husband and I have told some close friends but the plan is to tell my boss today and I'm really nervous. My boss travels a lot so this is one of limited opportunities to tell him in person. I'm just feeling like it's a big deal to tell work and really exposes me if things go south. 

I keep telling myself I'm at a point where the likelihood of a mc is low enough that I can't keep operating out of fear. (Last mc was missed and at 8wks). Im thinking i gotta let myself be happy and enjoy sharing the news. Am I being crazy? Any advice?

Thanks everyone!

Re: Bouncing baby @ 12wk US but still nervous to announce

  • 1st, it's okay to be terrified.

    2nd, if you're crazy, I'm crazy too.  We've told our immediate family at around 7 weeks because I really wanted them to understand if something bad "did" happen.  Work had to know for safety reasons (I work with dangerous chemicals).  But no one else shall know.  Until 3rd trimester.  Yep, I really won't feel safer until around 27 weeks I think.  Viability is the goal!

    3rd, Congratulations on the great scan!  We had a bouncer too!  I find that sharing on these boards has really helped me gain comfort in a safe way.  Good luck!
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  • oh my god I am the exact
    same. we have the nt in 2 hours and are gonna announce today or tomorrow and I'm terrified. everyone close to us knows already but it's different when the entire universe does. 

    its not easy, it's definitely less scary than say week 6 but it's still scary. 

    Fx for both of us!!'n 
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  • Thanks! Sending good vibes for your scan!
  • I'm only 6 weeks but I feel the same way.  DH really wants to tell his family.  I'd be happier to wait and announce after the baby is born (or at least until it's REALLY obvious).  This risk of losing the baby is obviously a lot less after you're out of the first trimester, but since we have all had the experience of being in the minority percentage with previous pregnancies, it's hard to feel like the world is going to be on our side this time.  Just know that as long as you're following basic medical guidelines (aka not doing drugs, taking any medications that your OB has advised you to take) that there's nothing you can do to to cause or prevent losing the baby.  My fingers are crossed for you!
  • You have every right to feel however you feel about it @abuck83. As PPs have stated, this time is so delicate and if you've experienced loss before it's hard not to feel like apprehensive during this time. Trust me, I get it. Fx for you ladies!
    ***Loss mentioned***
    Me: 38  DH: 38
    Married: 12-15-2012
    TTC: January 2014
    IUI 12-11-2014 ... BFP: 12-24-2014 MMC: 2-17-2015 @ 12 weeks
    IUI 6-1-2015 ... BFP: 6-16-2015 MC: 7-19-2015 @ 9 weeks 2 days
    IUI 3-4-2016 ... BFP: 3-20-2016 MC: 5-2-2016 @ 10 weeks 3 days
  • Totally not being crazy.  Work is a little bit of a different situation (I had to tell work really early on with my DS because I was feeling so sick and missing days.  Didn't want the new boss to think I was just a slacker--and I had some pretty major job responsibilities around due date, so knew they were going to need time to train someone else).  As for others, we told family and close friends pretty early on, announced to everyone at 12 weeks.  This time I think we're going to tell family and close friends around the 12 week mark (maybe a little earlier)  but I don't plan on announcing to others until after the 20 week appointment.  Unfortunetly  loss seems to take some of the excitement out of this journey and replaces it with fear and apprehension.

    Our Journey:
    DS born 05/14
    Losses 06/15, 09/15, 02/16
    DS born 12/16
    HPT+ 1/12/20

  • @abuck83 it went great!!!! fx for yours too!!! 
  • kimey1kimey1 member
    edited April 2016
    What you're feeling is totally normal! I think it's just a way to prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.
    For me 12 weeks was the point I felt more comfortable sharing the news because I wanted to pass the 12 week mark & for the NT scan results to be normal. My MMC was also between 8-9 weeks. Told the In-laws at 14 weeks - they couldn't believe we kept it a secret that long since DH is really bad at keeping secrets! :blush: Since my folks knew about the MMC before (in-laws don't till this day), I didn't want to worry them so we told them at 16 weeks. They had been praying and holding their breath that we'd get pregnant again so my mom literally danced for joy at the news :smiley: 
    I think you should share the news whenever it is that you feel like it's ok to. It's totally upto you and your partner!
  • I understand you completely, we almost didn't end up telling people either. I have lost two babies now and am 15 weeks along and we at first slowly started telling family and after seeing the heartbeat and hearing it we began to tell friends and more family little by little. Do what makes you feel comfortable is my advice. If you're not ready today, wait it out some more and tell people when you feel most comfortable. I took it one week and one month at a time with telling people. And if you still don't feel like going all public with it, who says you have to say anything?:) it's your choice! I know someone who did this and didn't even say anything on social media til the baby was born because she just didn't feel like going public with it for similar reasons.

    also this is your precious little nugget. It is your business and the whole "you have to go public with your pregnancy" standard is overrated and puts too much pressure on those who've had pregnancy loss in my opinion. Tell people when and if you feel like it, but if you don't feel like it then don't feel bad! It's your baby and your pregnancy
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  • kimey1kimey1 member
    edited April 2016
    Tell people when and if you feel like it, but if you don't feel like it then don't feel bad! It's your baby and your pregnancy
    This <3
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