Flame Free Friday Confessions

babymish

Not guaranteed to be flame free...

babymish

I had one...hence creating this post...but now it's gone  

sldp123

@babymish I think we're the only ones up so far! Haha

My FFFC is that I get a little jealous when people talk about having lots of sex for TTC and say things like "DH doesn't mind" or "DH isn't complaining!" Because my husband DOES kind of complain. I know some people have all the sex while maintaining jobs and caring for children and managing 3000 square foot houses and all, but we are not those people. It is a struggle sometimes to get sex in multiple times during FW, especially if it falls during the week, and my husband definitely isn't always all gung ho about getting some like some husbands seem to be.

ETA: For any newbies, I am not bragging about my house (which is not 3000 square feet). That was in reference to an infamous TTGP poster who did talk about how much sex she has even though she has kids and a xx-square foot home. Just realized how I might sound to people who didn't know the backstory to know it was a joke. 

MelissaM090

@sldp123 I'll piggyback on yours - I get super annoyed with even the non-TTC couples who are super smug about the amount of sex they have. 'Oh my god, we're in a dry spell, we haven't had sex in 8 days, we've NEVER gone that long!'.



I love my DH. Sex is good. But christ, sex is the last thing on my mind sometimes. I don't have issues with it (and I know some people do, psychologically or physically and I'm not being insensitive to that) but a lot of the time, I just don't freaking feel like it. But good for you for having sex 3 times a week without fail. Good for you. 

Schumerator

Mine are both food related so there's that... 

#1 for the most part I really enjoy cooking, using high quality ingredients, new recipes, etc, I love it! But on Wednesday night DH and I decided to not give a f*** and ate box Mac and cheese and pizza rolls. To hell with being healthy!

#2 I used to judge the crap out of people who preferred crunchy peanut butter, HARD! DH brought some home the other day and it was my only option, tried it, loved it, and now I think I prefer it! I hate being a hypocrite lol. 

Those are my super controversial FFFC's

Schumerator

@sldp123 I used to be one of the ladies who said stuff like that, until a friend shared with me that her husband and her were having marital issues because of the fact that he didn't want to have sex often, so I started to be more conscious of saying stuff like that. And I've realized the more time that goes on that my DH is less and less like that than he used to be! I feel you on the struggle to get in all that perfect timing in the FW, it's hard! 

sarah0985

@sldp123 I'm jealous of those people but for different reasons. My sex drive is just low and then throw on top of it my husbands inconsistent schedule where there's sometimes days where we don't see each other and it's just difficult to have sex often. I'm sorry you often have that problem even if it's different reasons.


My  fffc is that my H asked if I wanted him to accompany me this summer while I visit my family in Chicago for 3 weeks. I told him no. I have a very large extended family and he is only actually friends with 1-2 people there. If I was going longer, I wouldn't mind, but I have a lot of people to see and often want to do things he has no interest in joining in on. (Girls pool day at my aunts, mother-daughter time, time with my best friends alone, sister time) I'd feel bad leaving him alone so much and when he has joined me in the past, some days he looks so bored. But I don't go home to do touristy things. (We have done that all btw) I go home to spend time with me friends and family.  I conceded and said I'd be okay with a week knowing he won't fly 15 hours for one week. 
I feel guilty but at the same time, sorry I'm not sorry. 

Megzb510

@sarah0985 I don't blame you for not wanting DH there. Have fun with your family and friends guilt free about having to entertain him. I live in Chicago area too so shout out to another Chicago person!

MonaLisaRalphio

Not much of a confession today, except that I'm a total freak and had to change my username.  My old one was location-based in a way that never sat well with me. 

Sparty18

Since joining TB, I have now started saying "fingers crossed" IRL more than I care to admit.

ladystinson

ok, this turned out so much longer than it was intended to be, and **TW: kids**

piggy backing on the first few, DH would have sex everyday, multiple times a day. And it has happened but not often. Don't get me wrong, its freaking amazing (yes, I am gonna be that person and brag on that for a moment lol) and once we're at it I'm all in but we've discovered that I have essentially no sex drive. I mean, its there, but only for fleeting moments which are usually when it is wildly inappropriate then its gone by the time we get to where/when we can. I used to be the equivalent of a 14 year old boy lol but I went through a really bad marriage/divorce that killed my self esteem and image. DH has fixed that, but sadly I don't know that the drive will ever return.
I do think part of it is all the stress with his ex and his DS and then there's my house with my ex that is still just sitting on the market with only 3 showings, and there's trying to get this house totally together so that we're only left with fun projects no the necessity ones, oh and living in the constant fear of her (DH's ex) calling CPS at any given moment to screw with us (there is absolutely NO reason for them to be called, our house is totally safe, its just projects like replace the interior doors so they all close properly and whatnot) but if they're called, because MY DS lives with us, my ex will most likely be notified which leads to the potential for threats of being drug back into court.....

k, rant over

mrsdaddario

@Sparty18 HAHAH I hear you on this one! I've caught myself thinking, or about to say DH or AF IRL instead of their actual meanings so many times! It really gets into your brain after a while.

My FFFC is that I hate exercising and I don't ever ever EVER want to do it. I have an appointment with my nutritionist/personal trainer after work and I have to tell him I didn't do any of the exercises this week he wanted me to. LOL. Should be interesting. 

thj101

@sldp123 and @MelissaM090 yes.... 100 x yes... Can't stand those people. I want to punch them in the face. Out of DH and I, I am the one who initiates most of the time, and since we have been TTC, I won't say that he has grumbled because he certainly hasn't, (yet) but it's difficult to plan and find the energy when we are both pretty much burning the candle at both ends and most days are so exhausted by the time we see each other..

My FFFC is I hate shaving down there. I have sensitive skin, and no matter what products I use, it's never a comfortable experience for me. I always get razor bumps, I always get irritation. NO MATTER WHAT.  I dread summer every year, because I know I will have to start keeping it up, and it hate it.  

ladystinson

@thj101 this will sound weird, but have you tried conditioner? like plain old hair conditioner. I've used it on my legs too when they're really irritated from dry heat in the winter, but you would be amazed how much it helps and its cheaper than all the expensive shaving stuff. Just make sure you rinse well after

sarah0985

@megzb510 yay for another Chicago girl!!! I'd love him to be there but I'd love even more if he had his own things to do! Haha

@thj101 if you don't care exactly how it's done, have you tried a trimmer? Like a men's travel one? It's usually battery operated and about an inch across. Works great to keep things short and neat but not bare. It's like a buzz cut. Haha

Lecool

@sldp123 I totally hear you. I feel like every FW is kind of a struggle for us. We have a good sex life (I think), but we're just not naturally ED or even EOD kind of people. After a few days of HIO, both of us are kind of complain-y about all the sex.

@Sparty18 I was talking to my friend the other day (the only one who knows we're TTC) and called my period AF by accident. She was like "um, what?". 

My FFFC:
We had an all-day meeting yesterday, followed by a dinner at a pretty nice restaurant. The company was picking up the tab. Everybody else seem to be trying to be pretty frugal on their entree selections. I had a $60 steak. Sorry not sorry.

KristoKekerooni

@sldp123 - I laughed a little bit because I agree. It's rough. I confided to a friend and she was like, you've only been married for not even 2 years, how can you be tired of sex!?!?" And I just rolled my eyes. DH is a fulltime nursing student and working fulltime. I am working on my masters fulltime and working fulltime. We are tired and cranky and so not interested a lot of the time. It's rough. Ha. I feel you. 

leekat14

sldp123 said:

@babymish I think we're the only ones up so far! Haha

My FFFC is that I get a little jealous when people talk about having lots of sex for TTC and say things like "DH doesn't mind" or "DH isn't complaining!" Because my husband DOES kind of complain. I know some people have all the sex while maintaining jobs and caring for children and managing 3000 square foot houses and all, but we are not those people. It is a struggle sometimes to get sex in multiple times during FW, especially if it falls during the week, and my husband definitely isn't always all gung ho about getting some like some husbands seem to be.

ETA: For any newbies, I am not bragging about my house (which is not 3000 square feet). That was in reference to an infamous TTGP poster who did talk about how much sex she has even though she has kids and a xx-square foot home. Just realized how I might sound to people who didn't know the backstory to know it was a joke. 

Ugh.  I second this one.  The struggle is very real and now that we are trying I feel like it is even harder to make the time

thj101

@ladystinson I have tried conditioner, and it's a no go
@sarah0985 I also have a trimmer, and that works, but when I'm wearing swimsuits and stuff in the summer, I still end up having to shave the sides and it just irritates me to no end.. I don't know what the solution is!

hanshotfirst77

@sldp123  I completely get it. DH and I just arent the most sexual people. We love each other and do enjoy each other but its not something we do all the time. Especially with busy lives, a toddler, a house etc, its just not always a priority. and the middle of the week FW is tough I feel you. With DH's job we end up scheduling 4am sex and trust me neither of us is super happy about that lol

eta: spelling is hard

housewifehobbyist

@sldp123 Oh my God, that girl was something else.... I've always had a high sex drive, but FWP (love that acronym) when you're tired or not in the mood but need to get it in or you're out for the month takes all the fun out of it.

My FFFC is I had waaay too much wine last night and I am completely hungover at work today and trying not to show it.  Why do I do this to myself??

TheJerilu

Megzb510 said:

@sarah0985 I don't blame you for not wanting DH there. Have fun with your family and friends guilt free about having to entertain him. I live in Chicago area too so shout out to another Chicago person!

@Megzb510  @sarah0985
Snap, me too!  Everybody do the secret "ketchup on hotdogs is gross and our pizza is superior" handshake!

DutchLucyLu

Lurker confession: I always lurk TTGP but I've been lurking extra hard since y'all have had the cute animal siggies. 

KristoKekerooni

I'm embarrassed to admit this because I sear I am an adult. But literally everyday I poke out my stomach as far as I can to look pregnant and decide if the outfit I am wearing would be cute with a bump. 

MamaCoffin

Tw: loss and children mentioned 

I hate being pregnant. Hate it. I get terrible morning sickness that lasts for months. I get gestational diabetes. I get pupps. I have spd and diastis recti which require physical therapy all through pregnancy. Basically it's 9 months of absolute misery. I'm guilty of complaining very publicly about said misery.

Now that we're trying again and dealing with loss and months of issues I feel so guilty. I obviously think the suffering is worth it or I wouldn't be here and so desperate to be pregnant.... But I didn't really get it before because my first two children were conceived relatively easily. 

I want to go back and apologize to anyone who saw me wallowing in the misery of a pregnancy when they hadn't even been given the chance to get pregnant at all. 

KristoKekerooni

@jenmlangtake2 - I won't lie, I always get frustrated when I see people complaining about their pregnancies... but I also am very happy because it means they have never had to go through loss. It means they didn't have months that turned into years of BFNs. I am happy because I recognize that ignorance is bliss. As much as I get irritated, I am more happy for them. Sad for me, of course, but happy for them. I really wish you could have remained blissfully unaware of this side of things. I wish you went on to have another healthy pregnancy and complained the whole way. Sorry that you are here with us. I appreciate where you are coming from, but take it from me, It's okay that you complained. The things you dealt with, while worth it, weren't easy. They weren't good. it's okay to complain. Don't feel guilty. An apology, though appreciated, really isn't necessary. Just because you didn't love being pregnant doesn't mean you don't love what it meant or that it wasn't worth it. Give yourself a break. It's okay. 

ladystinson

@jenmlangtake2 I agree with @MommyForTheFirstTime and besides, you went through legitimate issues and physical therapy. I think most of us are more irritated when women with "easy" "healthy" pregnancies sit there an whine about the weight they're gaining- when they're clearly only(or mostly) gaining baby belly- or how they can't party anymore because they can't drink, etc you earned the right to whine about your issues because they were actual issues.

MamaCoffin

@MommyForTheFirstTime thank you 

It just all seems to trivial on the other side. Sure, I was uncomfortable but for the most part I was healthy and I have two perfect and healthy little girls. Looking back at how I felt and how I complained I just want to slap myself. 

Dilynne

My confession is that I was a giant, irrationally angry b*tch to H last night and I have some major sucking up to do. Any suggestions? lol

ETA: Add some stuff, swear less.

KristoKekerooni

@jenmlangtake2 - I'm serious, girl. Even if it was a 100% perfectly easy pregnancy, I still prefer to see you complain instead of meeting you here. You really did have some issues, though and they are valid. No more apologies. It's okay. 

thj101

@jenmlangtake2 While I do also hate to see people complaining about being pregnant, when I would give anything to have any of their problems, I also think it's normal.  A lot of stuff is happening to you and your body all at once, and it's just human nature to be a little whiny about it.. I don't get mad, I'm just jealous...

MamaCoffin

MommyForTheFirstTime said:

@jenmlangtake2 - I'm serious, girl. Even if it was a 100% perfectly easy pregnancy, I still prefer to see you complain instead of meeting you here. You really did have some issues, though and they are valid. No more apologies. It's okay. 

 

Well, while I'm sad to have a reason to be here, I'm happy to be here at this time and with such a supportive group of women! 

You guys are the best. 

NamelessAria

@jenmlangtake2 I'm not even going to lie: if/when I ever get/stay pregnant long enough to have things to complain about I'm 100% going to complain. I doubt I would to ladies I knew were struggling and I probably wouldn't to ladies where I had no idea what was going on with them because they could be struggling. But to people like my mother, my husband, and whoever else I know that has never struggled with TTC/loss I'm absolutely going to complain. 

I mean let's be honest some of the things in pregnancy (so I hear) are pretty unpleasant. Severe morning sickness for weeks for example. If I puke once because of food poisoning or something I complain about it. I know I'm going to complain at least a little if I'm puking several times a day everyday for weeks. 

Sure I'd mostly just be thrilled out of my mind that I'm finally having a healthy pregnancy. But still... I know there would be moments/days.

I imagine it's probably like anything else in life. I know there was a time when I'd be so angry when happily married couples would complain. I'm like "the only relationships I can find end up being toxic. I'd be so happy to just be in a healthy, loving relationship. They have that and they're complaining?! Because their spouse keeps waking them up at night? I mean come on!" And now I'm the happily married person complaining because my DH keeps waking me up at night. It doesn't mean I'm any less grateful for him. It doesn't mean I'm any less happy, as a whole, in our marriage. But sometimes the little things bother me more than they probably should.

So don't give yourself too hard of a time. I think complaining about something that is hard is normal. It's not really normal to say "this is really freaking hard and uncomfortable and it really sucks in so many ways. But it could be worse and someone out there has a worse situation than I do so I won't complain. Ever." Ideal maybe. But certainly not normal.

britters314

@thj101  Have you tried waxing? Idk how well it would work with sensitive skin, though.

PepperAT

My FFC: If I am having a tough morning, I crank up the music and have my own little dance party while I am getting ready for work in the morning. I feel like an 18 yr old getting ready for the club, but it makes me feel so much better and puts me in a way better mood. 

Totally did that this morning and my dog was not a fan of my dancing. 


Also, I second the sex topic. We haven't had sex since my last FW. We have both been sick and just tired. Maybe that is also a FFC? 

PepperAT

@thj101  I hear ya girl! I find if I put coconut oil on afterwards it makes it less irritable but sometimes I am just too lazy.

@MommyForTheFirstTime  That made me LOL. I am definitely guilty of that too. Also couple times I bought cloths online that ended up being a tad too big and instead of  returning it, I thought, this would work for when I get KU. 

KristoKekerooni

@PepperAT - YES! I have a small section of my closet that is dedicated to too-big clothes for pregnancy! Ha!

thj101

@pepperAT I'll try the coconut oil, I haven't tried that.
@britters314, I have deeply thought about the waxing... There are cold waxes that are supposed to be good for sensitive skin that they can use, but, I'm scared.

MamaCoffin

I have another confession. 

After I get responses like this I can't help but imagine meeting some of you irl and totally assaulting you.

Winnie81_Old

My confession:

There are days where I can't wait to have a child, not only for the obvious reasons, but mainly so that I can be myself again. I can't wait for that day where I don't have to deal with the symptoms because we are trying to get pregnant. Yesterday was cd1, and I honestly sat on the toilet bleeding heavily, throwing up and having diarrhea all at the same time for over an hour, and thats a normal thing for me every month. Most people I have encountered, don't understand what Endometriosis is. They think you just have a low pain tolerance when you're on your period (my mom thinks this). In a few days around cd 4 I will get an epic migraine...this is my body saying "fuck you". Sometimes my ambition to get pregnant is motivated by not wanting to live in pain any longer, and I feel really guilty and selfish about that. It didn't used to be that way, but 5 years of this has been brutal. I'm not the best at articulating my emotions, so my apologies if this doesn't make much sense. 

virginiaham

@thj101 If you have a place close by that does sugaring, it's a great alternative to waxing!  It does the exact same thing, but it's just 3 ingredients and I thought it hurt a lot less than waxing.  I also have sensitive skin and have to be careful to exfoliate regularly afterward since I'm really prone to ingrown hairs.