Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

DH's having difficulty understanding?

Lately I am completely all over the place with emotions, I go from happy to sad, to anxious, to angry in literally 20 minutes. The smallest things like someone chewing too loud will make me want to scream. Not only did we miscarry our second baby, but in anticipation of the baby recently sold our house. We had found  our dream home, and were outbid on it the day before we found out we miscarried. We have had no luck finding anything we would even consider purchasing and have about a week left to find something before we are moving in with parents... 

Between both of these situations I have been a mess, I feel completely out of control in my life (I've been completely independent since high school and have worked really hard to get my life where I want to be) and I haven't felt this way in a long time. So I'm freaking out about moving in with parents when I know I don't do well living with people and that I don't know why I keep miscarrying. 

Anyone else's hormones just completely out of wack? I teach high school special education (Emotional disabilities) this job requires me to be as calm headed as possible, so I'm bottling up all my emotions during the day that when I get home I could just explode with emotions. I have tried to explain to my husband that he can't take it personally, and that i'm so sorry if I'm a little bit more short tempered than norma and he always takes it personally. I don't know how to get it through to him that I just need some extra support, understanding right now and for him to know that I'm trying really hard not to take it out on him. I have to be able to release my emotions at home and I just feel awful that he's getting more than his fair share of the brunt of this. I know he's also dealing with the loss of our baby and trying to be here for me the best way that he can. 

My husband is the kindest, most supportive person ever and quite honestly through these awful past 6 months we've become stronger than I could imagine we ever could be. He's just sensitive and has a really hard time understanding to not take my frustrations personally. Sometimes I just need to scream and yell or cry and I'll be ok... Anyone else dealing with this also?

Re: DH's having difficulty understanding?

  • I'm definitely having more emotional outbursts this time compared to last. DH has been super through the whole thing but I can tell that he feels frustrated that he can't "make it all better". I don't know that I have a lot of advice, but I can say I totally understand what you are going through. I will say that I'm considering therapy as a potential source of assistance through this process. I'm going to see how these next few weeks go first. 
  • I am having lots of emotional fluctuations.  I will go from being fine to just having tears streaming down my face.  You're definitely not alone.  I'm trying so hard to not take my emotions out on anyone but it's hard.  It's not fair that I'm an emotional wreck and everyone else around me including my DH are 100% fine like nothing happened.  
    Good luck with finding the perfect house. I hope it pops up and is available quickly!
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  • edited April 2016
    Why does everything have to happen all at once?! It's completely normal to feel absolutely abnormal. I am sorry you are going through such a rough time right now.

    I used my therapist as an outlet so that I wasn't draining DH all the time. I know that he dealt with it differently and didn't show it the same way I did, but he has been broken down by our experiences also. Eventually, I actually felt like I started managing/coping better than he was and I requested that he find a therapist as well. I even told him that he had to go more than once, make a real effort. Gratefully, he found that he likes it and has kept it up on his own! It has been a huge help for us separately and as a couple.

    It may take a little time, but I am sure you and he will find a balance in the mess of it all.

    Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013

    2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages

    TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016

    2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN

    Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017

    May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714

    EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!  <3 E. L. A. born 12/7/2017

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