Unpopular Opinions — The Bump
September 2016 Moms

Unpopular Opinions

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Re: Unpopular Opinions

  • I haven't paid for any photos (since my wedding) No pregnancy photos, no newborn or 1 year or anything. We takes tons of pics when we go places or just hanging around the house, and try to print out a dozen or so each month or two to put into frames and send to older relatives who aren't on FB.  Some staged photos are cute, but just aren't my thing
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  • I'm really sick of the whole "It takes a village to raise a child" mantra.  I see it on the end of every facebook post in my local mom's group - which I really shouldn't be a part of because I just roll my eyes at most of the questions/comments anyways.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having groups of moms/moms to be to laugh with, share stories/experiences with, bounce questions off of.. I just think the whole village mantra is a little too sentimental/sappy for me.
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  • How about the breastfeeding photos in a field/under a waterfall while wearing a crown of flowers? Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful but what breastfeeding mother looks like that ever?
    I've never seen one like that, but they would get major side-eye from me.
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  • @TheTamedShrew @AnnaS930 we have only done 1 paid photo shoot since our wedding, and it was only because our wedding photographer offered us a steep discount to grow her portfolio. We did 9 month/Halloween shots of our daughter. We took them in front of this supposedly haunted mausoleum. They turned out super awesome. I love unconventional/unexpected photo shoots.
    ***************************************
    FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad

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  • We do professional photos around the holidays (just a mini shoot so not expensive) because otherwise there would be exactly four photos of me with my daughter because my husband is the worst about taking photos of us. Also do birthday photos of my daughter because she's cute so why not.
    Married 6/4/11
    Reese born 3/23/13
    Due 9/14/16

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    pilotswifeyLizC216pdxmamatobe
  • My UO (sorry to those that do this!) is that I'm weirded out by parents that kiss their kids on the lips. I think it's inappropriate and unnecessary. It's like, why the lips? What's the problem with kissing on the cheek? I was watching a reality show and a mom gave her 20-something year old daughter a 3-second peck on the lips. Doesn't it ever get weird, though? I know some people don't do it past a certain age but I find it creepy to do it at all.
    I don't kiss my son on the lips (on purpose)... he loves to give kisses - who knows where they are going to land. As he's getting older (only 15 months) he's better at planting his kisses on cheeks. I'm totally weirded out by older kids kissing their parents on the lips. At a distant family wedding the father/daughter dance was far too intimate for me including some lip kisses that I just had to (politely) turn away from. Not my cup of tea, but my family is also not overly affectionate
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  • After putting some thought into the BF photo, I doubt I would ever let DH take my picture while breastfeeding. I hope I can BF for at least a year (fingers crossed) and it is obviously a natural thing (what boobs were made for, right?) but I wouldn't feel comfortable having a picture of it. I could care less about people that BF uncovered in public but the pictures are not my cup of tea. I don't want my LO to have that picture when her boyfriend comes over and I want to embarrass her in front of him with baby pictures lol. 
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  • TheTamedShrewTheTamedShrew
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    edited March 2016
    DH and I totally kiss DD on the lips occasionally. There isn't a place on her head/face that I don't want to cover with kisses constantly. I don't know when it will stop. Like age 5 maybe?

    This reminds me...at what age does it become inappropriate to be naked in front of your child? I honestly don't know. DD will be 3 in June and it still doesn't feel strange to be naked in front of her. I imagine there is a point where the covering up will happen organically? I don't ever remember seeing either of my parents naked, but my mom was always super modest.
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    tinypikachucamichael84Shiva14
  • tinypikachutinypikachu
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited March 2016
    @TheTamedShrew I remember my mom being naked around me up until I was about 7 (then she left so I don't know if she would've kept it up). I found it weird when I was that age but totally normal when I was younger, about 4 or 5. My dad always made a point of not letting us see him naked by always being covered up and dressing elsewhere. DH and I have talked about it and we won't let our kids see us naked past 1 or 2 just because we're modest people too and we both seem to agree on that point. I guess it could be a cultural thing for us (that and the kissing on the lips) since our families are Hispanics, don't know if that has anything to do with it. 

    Edit grammar, I suck with words today
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  • @TheTamedShrew - I remember seeing my mother naked as she would run from the bathroom to get clothes downstairs. We'd all scream in horror and I was totally put off by it as a middle school aged girl (because I was a snobby pre-teen who was grossed out by anything my mother did, or anything adult naked woman related).

    My son is only 15 months and we are rarely/never naked in front of him... Maybe it's because he's a boy that I would just rather be covered up in front of him, I'm not really sure.  Again, we aren't lip kissers either, so maybe there is some connection of keeping things "appropriate" in my eyes (not at all suggesting what is appropriate for me is or isn't appropriate for anyone else).
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  • @PSUBecky23 - Ok, I can totally see that, and maybe our never-nude ways (Tobias Funke, anyone?) around the kiddo won't last once he's more free range!  He walks, but if we're upstairs in our rooms/bathroom (only time I'm ever naked) he's in his crib... so we're not quite there yet where he'd walk in on me naked. Although he does think it's hilarious to come in on me peeing if I don't latch the door tightly. Toddlers - such goobers.
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    tinypikachuShiva14camichael84KimmySchmidt
  • The independent toddler phase is a good time.
    Married 6/4/11
    Reese born 3/23/13
    Due 9/14/16

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    AnnaS930
  • My UO (sorry to those that do this!) is that I'm weirded out by parents that kiss their kids on the lips. I think it's inappropriate and unnecessary. It's like, why the lips? What's the problem with kissing on the cheek? I was watching a reality show and a mom gave her 20-something year old daughter a 3-second peck on the lips. Doesn't it ever get weird, though? I know some people don't do it past a certain age but I find it strange do it at all.

    Edit words



    *********** stuck in box ************

    I kiss DS on the lips and will continue to do so until he makes the choice to stop. I never do it unsolicited and I ask if I can have a kiss first. I don't find it any weirder than nursing, which is also extremely intimate and suited for a certain season in life (hopefully no teenagers are still nursing haha). I grew up kissing my mom and grandma on the lips and automatically stopped at a certain age when I began to understand that kisses could also be romantic. To me, it promotes emotional connectivity and is one of the ways I express love to my child (not saying you aren't doing that by choosing to only give kisses on the cheek). Adult children kissing parents on the lips is NMS though but I don't see any harm in it. It's just not for me.
    tinypikachuAnnaS930camichael84
  • I think the kissing on the lips for me could be a cultural thing. I grew up in the Caribbean and in all my childhood and part of my adulthood I only ever saw one parent kissing on the lips. My nephew went through a stage when he was about 14 months where he wanted to kiss everyone on the lips (especially the ladies) and we all discouraged it, not in a negative way, we would just laugh it off and kiss him on the cheeks. Everyone in my family thinks it's weird and it's not something for us. 

    I have to say, reading your responses is very cool because I can actually see where it really isn't weird and it's just a way for some parents to be affectionate with their little ones. I can totally respect why some parents do it but I guess it's just not the way we'll do it. 
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    Shiva14UnwritteN12noelani42
  • @PSUBecky23 we have always had an open door bathroom policy also. Especially since our upstairs master bedroom was converted from an attic so there isn't even a door to begin with. DD still sees DH naked when he steps out of the shower or changes in front of her and he's not weirded out by it quite yet. I imagine he will start covering up before I will. I realized I had to have a little chat with her when she pitched a fit a few months ago over my dad not letting her follow him into the bathroom. Although she still follows my sister in when she babysits. 

    I'm with you @runningisrad on the body awareness and confidence. She knows all the correct names for certain body parts and thankfully hasn't embarrassed me in public yet. No privacy and personal space in our house, ha.
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    tinypikachu
  • After putting some thought into the BF photo, I doubt I would ever let DH take my picture while breastfeeding. I hope I can BF for at least a year (fingers crossed) and it is obviously a natural thing (what boobs were made for, right?) but I wouldn't feel comfortable having a picture of it. I could care less about people that BF uncovered in public but the pictures are not my cup of tea. I don't want my LO to have that picture when her boyfriend comes over and I want to embarrass her in front of him with baby pictures lol. 
    Oh my gosh this reminded me of a super awkward moment. 6 weeks after DS was born my father came to stay with us for a week (we are not close) and kept asking if he could please take a photo of DS nursing because it is such a precious thing. Uhm, no dad, you cannot and now I'll be nursing exclusively in our bedroom because you're making me uncomfortable. Thanks for making this new-mom thing even easier than it was before (insert sarcasm).

    I have snapped some funny photos of DS nursing to sent to DH only because he would make some hilarious faces.
    tinypikachu
  • I will say this to FTMs and pre-potty training moms: I think letting DD watch me in the bathroom really helped with potty training. It was a normal social process for her as opposed to something needs to be private or covered up. Not saying it will automatically make it easier, but it was one of the helpful tips I read.
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    Tippy05
  • My son is almost 4.5 and I still kiss him on the lips.  Dh does not... But he just doesn't because he's grossed out by his slobber.  Dh doesn't mind that I still do and I will stop when Clark says he wants me too.  I always ask if I can have a kiss and he actually still randomly gives me one too.  I love it but I imagine it will stop around 6/7? 
    noelani42
  • @TheTamedShrew We, too, have taught our daughter the correct terms. One time, she crawled up on my lap wearing a dress with no panties. I told her to put panties on. She looked at me and said, "My vagina's like, 'I'm just gonna chill.'" When she said the part that her vagina "said," she used a deep, manly voice.

    A few weeks later, we were at the zoo, looking at the sloth, when she yelled, "MAMA? DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I SAID MY VAGINA WAS LIKE, 'I'M JUST GONNA CHILL?'"

    I had to lean down and calmly tell her that we don't talk about our vaginas in public. *facepalm*
    Ahahahaha, that is so awesome!
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  • My unpopular opinion (maybe): coming to work when you are sick makes you an inconsiderate jerk. My co-worker has been in all week with what I believe is the flu, and I'm all sorts of ragey as a result. I don't care about your dollars and cents. It is not fair to risk everyone else because you would rather sit and do nothing but whine all day at the office in order to maintain your hours. Not only is that selfish and inconsiderate to your co-workers, but to the company you are collecting a paycheque from for doing dick all.

    That turned into a bit of a rant, sorry. Heavy feels since my mum is also undergoing chemo, therefore immune compromised, so this person is knowingly putting my family in jeopardy too.
    Natural M/C 03.26.2012 at 10w2d
    Charlotte born at 28w3d due to severe IUGR on 12.24.2012 Merry Christmas!
    Missed M/C discovered 12.22.2014 at 8w1d measuring 6w3d
    2015 was a year to test strength of both body and character, but it led us to this... BFP 01.26.2016 EDD 9.30.2016
    pilotswifey
  • @Cricket Bug - before my first pregnancy I prided myself on never missing a day of work.. ever. I actually thought I was a better employee for trudging in during my most miserable health states. Then I was pregnant and coworkers would cough near me and I'm all like Hey now! Go lay in bed, keep your germs away. 

    Now I take the day at home if I'm sick for my coworkers' sake and my own (a sick day here and there in no way makes you a worse employee). So I'm with ya!
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    tinypikachu
  • @Cricket Bug I completely agree with you. Hate being around sickly and coughing coworkers. I'm a total baby and take off if I am actually, legit sick. I've taken off before because I THOUGHT I was getting sick (turned out to be allergies). 
    ***************************************
    FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad

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    Cricket Bugtinypikachu
  • tinypikachutinypikachu
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited March 2016
    @Shiva14 I would totally take pics for DH of funny faces while nursing. No pics for albums for me but I imagine funny faces being too cute to pass up. I actually have a picture where my mom is nursing me in the hospital and it's not weird, although I probably wouldn't let DH snap a pic like that, but the FIL thing would be a major nope for me.

    @TheTamedShrew yes on the potty modeling! It actually is easier for kids to see how their same sex parents pee so they can learn to go. I'll let this LO see how I pee (I doubt she'll ever let me pee by myself when she's a toddler) and will tell DH to do the same if we have a boy. It's a good example and encouragement. My SIL texted me a pic once of her LO's hand under the door while she was going to the bathroom once. And, that reminds me, my 2yr-old nephew once opened a locked door by repeatedly throwing his body at it and yelling "aaauuuuntiiiie" while I was peeing. He looked horrified when he door actually opened and I was sitting on the toilet! 

    ETA: I honestly wouldn't care if my boy pees sitting down though, so I could probably just show him too.
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    Shiva14
  • @AnnaS930 - Yes! It's all about exercising good judgement. 
    Natural M/C 03.26.2012 at 10w2d
    Charlotte born at 28w3d due to severe IUGR on 12.24.2012 Merry Christmas!
    Missed M/C discovered 12.22.2014 at 8w1d measuring 6w3d
    2015 was a year to test strength of both body and character, but it led us to this... BFP 01.26.2016 EDD 9.30.2016
  • @runningisrad - all I can think about is 'what did you touch', 'if I don't look at you or inhale while you are talking to me am I safe from your germs?', and other more ridiculous over reactive things...  
    Natural M/C 03.26.2012 at 10w2d
    Charlotte born at 28w3d due to severe IUGR on 12.24.2012 Merry Christmas!
    Missed M/C discovered 12.22.2014 at 8w1d measuring 6w3d
    2015 was a year to test strength of both body and character, but it led us to this... BFP 01.26.2016 EDD 9.30.2016
  • We kiss DD on the lips.  I'm not sure when I (or she) will feel she's too old for that, but I'm enjoying it for now because I know she won't always want to show that kind of affection.  I do think it's weird when anyone other than DH or I do it though, it's a parent/child thing, not for extended family.

    I was raised very comfortable with nudity around my mom & sisters, but I guess that's because when you have 4 girls (through adulthood) sharing 1 bathroom and share a bedroom with your sister, it's pretty much impossible to have any modesty.  My house now definitely has more opportunities for privacy than my childhood home, and I won't walk around naked on purpose or anything, but I'm not uncomfortable with my daughter ever seeing me naked.  
    noelani42
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