UO Thursday 3/31/16

LadySamLady

Remember, opinions are like a$$Holes. Everyone has one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
 

laurenmdrn16

There was a story in the news about 2 1st grade girls at a charter school in Alaska who attempted to poison another classmate's lunch with those silica packets that specifically say "Do not eat". The students have been suspended, I believe, but personally I think they should be removed from the school. It is a lottery-based admissions and there is a very long wait-list. I think it is unfair to all the kids on the waiting list that these students get to keep their slots despite really horrendous behavior. Also, those 2 girls need very intensive psychiatric counseling and treatment IMO. I usually am not very "zero-tolerance" in general, but in a case like this, I see this as a very clear sign that something is terribly wrong and drastic steps need to be taken for the health and safety of all the students.

Charissadeats

I think Game of Thrones is overrated. I liked it in the beginning but it has since become boring and I don't care about the new season. Vikings is so much better. 

LadySamLady

Charissadeats said:

I think Game of Thrones is overrated. I liked it in the beginning but it has since become boring and I don't care about the new season. Vikings is so much better. 

What?!?!?! How dare you!

swflJD

Here's mine:  I'm actually dreading going on maternity leave.  I can take up to 12 weeks off (8 weeks at full pay and 4 at half pay) and then work from home as long as I want, but I'm considering going back to work sooner. Even though my supervisor and I have discussed it all in detail and I know everything is going to be handled while I'm gone, the thought of being away from work that for long really stresses me out!  And the probability of having my mom and MIL at my house everyday makes me want to scream already! DH gets 3 weeks of paid paternity leave, and he can use some of the PTO he has been banking for a while if he wants to take off longer after I go back to work. Maybe I'll feel differently and want the time off after LO gets here, but my career is such a huge part of who I am, and the thought of being away from it for months makes my stomach turn.       

gamommyx3

laurenmdrn16 said:

There was a story in the news about 2 1st grade girls at a charter school in Alaska who attempted to poison another classmate's lunch with those silica packets that specifically say "Do not eat". The students have been suspended, I believe, but personally I think they should be removed from the school. It is a lottery-based admissions and there is a very long wait-list. I think it is unfair to all the kids on the waiting list that these students get to keep their slots despite really horrendous behavior. Also, those 2 girls need very intensive psychiatric counseling and treatment IMO. I usually am not very "zero-tolerance" in general, but in a case like this, I see this as a very clear sign that something is terribly wrong and drastic steps need to be taken for the health and safety of all the students.

I agree that attempting to kill your classmate should be met with something a lot stronger than a suspension.

AnastasiaBeaverhausen09

laurenmdrn16 said:

There was a story in the news about 2 1st grade girls at a charter school in Alaska who attempted to poison another classmate's lunch with those silica packets that specifically say "Do not eat". The students have been suspended, I believe, but personally I think they should be removed from the school. It is a lottery-based admissions and there is a very long wait-list. I think it is unfair to all the kids on the waiting list that these students get to keep their slots despite really horrendous behavior. Also, those 2 girls need very intensive psychiatric counseling and treatment IMO. I usually am not very "zero-tolerance" in general, but in a case like this, I see this as a very clear sign that something is terribly wrong and drastic steps need to be taken for the health and safety of all the students.

I read this story and didn't realize they were not expelled.  I can't believe their punishment is suspension.  They plotted to kill another classmate.  Expel those kids!!  

mello13

I think super detailed birth plans are ridiculous. Part of this is influenced by my first delivery (premature baby, almost dying myself twice, etc) but in truth I felt this way before that. I'm very type A, I NEED to plan things to feel some semblance of security, but aside from a rough idea, it's pretty pointless. Birth is one thing you simply cannot control or predict. People that spend oddles of time making playlists, and planning activities, having a list of requirements similar to a celebrity rider, and then getting frustrated when their practitioner or midwife hasn't memorized the craziness of it, I just don't understand. I understand and agree with communicating your general preferences (meds? people in the room? etc) but so much is beyond that isn't within anyone's control. 

A related UO is that I don't understand people who are upset or disappointed with their birth experience. Aside from being forced into doing something you don't agree with (which, if it saved the baby's life, I can't say I blame them) this nonsense that it didn't go the way you had imagined and you're sad about it just doesn't sit well with me. Speaking from a personal perspective, if you and your baby are alive, I call that a win. Moreover, if you are disappointed with your expectations of L&D not being met, you're in for some sharp growing pains when it comes to being a parent. (This is not to say that VBAC or trying a different way the next time is a bad idea. Just obsessing over a "failed" birth story is unhealthy.)

laurenmdrn16

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2016/03/30/first-graders-plot-to-kill-classmate-with-poisoned-lunch-foiled-by-teacher/

"The station reported that the Anchorage Police Department became involved in the case when the plot was reported to the elementary school’s resource officer. Officials said the officer spoke with all three students and declined to file charges" and the students are "expected to return to school after their punishment was completed." Not cool.

TheThornBird

I completely understand why people don't like using the terms natural vs unnatural for birth (since I agree "natural" would mean squatting outside behind a bush with a 10% chance of dying), but I also hate using the term "unmedicated". I'm giving birth in a birthing center but my choice has nothing to do with medication. I would totally use meds if it didn't involve going to a hospital and getting a needle in my spine. 

But I have no good alternative term, ha. 

AnastasiaBeaverhausen09

laurenmdrn16 said:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2016/03/30/first-graders-plot-to-kill-classmate-with-poisoned-lunch-foiled-by-teacher/

"The station reported that the Anchorage Police Department became involved in the case when the plot was reported to the elementary school’s resource officer. Officials said the officer spoke with all three students and declined to file charges" and the students are "expected to return to school after their punishment was completed." Not cool.

This is insane!  How can the officer decline to file charges?  Can't the parents of the child they wanted to kill file charges?  Surely they aren't going back to the same class?  If I were the parents of the child they were victimizing, I would be lighting shit on fire.  Hell, if I were the parents of the children involved in the conspiracy, my child would not be going back to that school because I'd probably have quit my job so I can put my kid in full time therapy.

wamam027

TheThornBird said:

I completely understand why people don't like using the terms natural vs unnatural for birth (since I agree "natural" would mean squatting outside behind a bush with a 10% chance of dying), but I also hate using the term "unmedicated". I'm giving birth in a birthing center but my choice has nothing to do with medication. I would totally use meds if it didn't involve going to a hospital and getting a needle in my spine. 

But I have no good alternative term, ha. 

Agreed. And I feel like you're bound to offend someone in some way no matter how you put it. I also feel weird saying I'm hoping for a "vaginal delivery". I just feel like that's shining an unnecessary light on the fact that a baby grows in my uterus and unless there are unforeseen complications, will come out of my vagina. I just feel wrong using the term vaginal delivery at the dinner table. 

On a similar yet different note, my UO is that I truly cannot stand when people openly offer so much information in regards to their labor progression and delivery. Birth is a miraculous thing, totally get it. I'm constantly sitting here in awh at what my body can do in creating a human being, but seriously, when you're in labor you REALLY do not have to text everyone on your list and let them know every nitty gritty detail. Pretty sure if my mom (who will be my labor support since DH is deployed) text my dad and my brother that I am 5 cm dilated, they'd freak the hell out. My dad currently lives in a la la land where he refuses to believe that his grandchild was made via sexual intercourse, he DOES NOT want to know the details about how this baby will slowly emerge from my vagina; he'd much prefer a simple text with "she's in labor, will let you know when baby arrives" followed by "baby is a boy or girl such and such weight and such and such length". For example, my moms coworker's daughter just had a baby last week and this woman was walking around the office giving updates to EVERYONE at work. "They put her on pitocin after the mechanical baloon dilation failed to make any progress", "she's dilated to a 2 and 75% effaced", "she's at an 8! We will be meeting baby soon!", "she's at a 10 and pushing!", "she pushed for an hour and a half and the baby is here!". Really? You do realize you're running around the office telling people about the progress of your daughters cervix and VAGINA right?! Glad you're so stoked but uh, keep all those unnecessary details to yourself. Also, while looking through the March birth announcements someone decided to post a pic of baby attached to the placenta. That's wonderful that you want that picture for your records, but I really didn't need to see your placenta. I truthfully didn't even want to see my own. 

laurenmdrn16

Oh, @AnastasiaBeaverhausen09 I am so on board with you! But some coworkers were saying "Oh, well, they probably didn't know what they were doing. They were so young." blah blah blah. I can tell you, I used to work on a locked pediatric in-patient mental health unit and there was a 7 yr old boy who attacked me and I don't care how old he was; he wanted to hurt and kill me just as much as if he was 17. I have seen young children who are homicidal and it is real. These children need help, not a second chance.

yogahh

Totally not a UO but something that has been irritating me ... wanted to get your opinion. Does it bother anyone else when strangers on the street stare at your bump? I get it ALL OF THE TIME. Have they never seen a pregnant lady before? 

If you guys like the side eye, then I guess this is my UO for the week

jumpy57

@ncm0328 that must be the post they removed! Mystery solved, I was so curious

Charissadeats

@yogahh I feel judged by older people. Like I did something naughty. And they stare, a lot. I have to remind myself that I am 28 (next week), been married 5 years, and that this was planned... 

wamam027

EErin86 said:

@ncm0328 that must be the post they removed! Mystery solved, I was so curious

They did remove it! Thank God. There was a picture of her in the birthing tub naked with baby on her chest right after delivery which doesn't bother me so much, but then a pic of baby lying down with cord attached to placenta and that was a little much for a public forum announcement. 

js8812

yogahh said:

Totally not a UO but something that has been irritating me ... wanted to get your opinion. Does it bother anyone else when strangers on the street stare at your bump? I get it ALL OF THE TIME. Have they never seen a pregnant lady before? 

If you guys like the side eye, then I guess this is my UO for the week

Ugh, yes.  I'm not sure if I'm hyper sensitive, but I feel like people just STARE and STARE. 

dsmith211

yogahh said:

Totally not a UO but something that has been irritating me ... wanted to get your opinion. Does it bother anyone else when strangers on the street stare at your bump? I get it ALL OF THE TIME. Have they never seen a pregnant lady before? 

If you guys like the side eye, then I guess this is my UO for the week

I get it all the time and personally find it annoying. I never realized a pregnant lady was such a foreign thing to so many people. Even still, didn't people ever learn that it's not polite to stare?

laurenmdrn16

Charissadeats said:

@yogahh I feel judged by older people. Like I did something naughty. And they stare, a lot. I have to remind myself that I am 28 (next week), been married 5 years, and that this was planned... 

YES! I look pretty young when I have my hair up and am in sweats running errands and I ALWAYS get looks from older women when I have my toddler and giant belly on display. It feels very judge-y like I am irresponsible or something. And the one day I didn't wear my wedding rings because I had taken them off to clean out the Play Doh that was jammed around the center stone (oh, the joys of motherhood. I just can't have nice things!) I saw a woman scrutinize my left hand, look at my son, then my belly and she actually shook her head and clucked her f-ing tongue at me. If ever I wanted to throat punch a lady, that was it!

wamam027

laurenmdrn16 said:

Charissadeats said:

@yogahh I feel judged by older people. Like I did something naughty. And they stare, a lot. I have to remind myself that I am 28 (next week), been married 5 years, and that this was planned... 

YES! I look pretty young when I have my hair up and am in sweats running errands and I ALWAYS get looks from older women when I have my toddler and giant belly on display. It feels very judge-y like I am irresponsible or something. And the one day I didn't wear my wedding rings because I had taken them off to clean out the Play Doh that was jammed around the center stone (oh, the joys of motherhood. I just can't have nice things!) I saw a woman scrutinize my left hand, look at my son, then my belly and she actually shook her head and clucked her f-ing tongue at me. If ever I wanted to throat punch a lady, that was it!

I went to a tour of the birth center the other night and my rings haven't fit since like week 12 and my husband is deployed. There were 5 others for the tour and all of them had their SO with them. I was getting the WORST stares and glares the entire tour and I didn't give to flying you know what's. If you want to think I got knocked up from a one night stand, go for it! Even if I did I'd be standing there mentally telling you to go shove it, but you don't know why I'm here alone and you clearly don't care to consider that I AM married and I am FORCED to not only do this tour alone, but also labor alone, deliver alone, and raise a baby for 8 months alone. People are such A-holes sometimes. 

Charissadeats

laurenmdrn16 said:

Charissadeats said:

@yogahh I feel judged by older people. Like I did something naughty. And they stare, a lot. I have to remind myself that I am 28 (next week), been married 5 years, and that this was planned... 

YES! I look pretty young when I have my hair up and am in sweats running errands and I ALWAYS get looks from older women when I have my toddler and giant belly on display. It feels very judge-y like I am irresponsible or something. And the one day I didn't wear my wedding rings because I had taken them off to clean out the Play Doh that was jammed around the center stone (oh, the joys of motherhood. I just can't have nice things!) I saw a woman scrutinize my left hand, look at my son, then my belly and she actually shook her head and clucked her f-ing tongue at me. If ever I wanted to throat punch a lady, that was it!

People suck!! Sorry. 

I must say, it probably doesn't help that both my DH and I have very visible tattoos and people in my city are extremely conservative! 

Charissadeats

@ncm0328 How annoying!! You should make a t-shirt that says: 'We are a military family and my husband is currently serving your country. Now, either eff-off or bring me something to eat' 

mello13

laurenmdrn16 said:

Charissadeats said:

@yogahh I feel judged by older people. Like I did something naughty. And they stare, a lot. I have to remind myself that I am 28 (next week), been married 5 years, and that this was planned... 

YES! I look pretty young when I have my hair up and am in sweats running errands and I ALWAYS get looks from older women when I have my toddler and giant belly on display. It feels very judge-y like I am irresponsible or something. And the one day I didn't wear my wedding rings because I had taken them off to clean out the Play Doh that was jammed around the center stone (oh, the joys of motherhood. I just can't have nice things!) I saw a woman scrutinize my left hand, look at my son, then my belly and she actually shook her head and clucked her f-ing tongue at me. If ever I wanted to throat punch a lady, that was it!

Yes!! I deal with this often. I want to scream at them that I'm a married 34 year old woman! But really, even if I weren't, just because I'm visibility pregnant does not give anyone the right to judge my sexual activity or gawk at my choice to reproduce. It's asinine. 

Similarly, the "Was it planned?" question always irks me. Why does anyone feel it's acceptable to ask about another persons intimate life unprompted?!

wamam027

Charissadeats said:

@ncm0328 How annoying!! You should make a t-shirt that says: 'We are a military family and my husband is currently serving your country. Now, either eff-off or bring me something to eat' 

HAHA that's an awesome idea actually. Thankfully I somehow have taken the whole thing very well although this is his first deployment since we've been together (not his first deployment, but first I've ever been through). I got diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and that's added to the whole mess but I definitely have handled all the judgmental and rude people better than I would have expected. We are stationed in a HUGE military city and there are at least 10 bases in this area, you'd think people would be used to seeing women alone with children. People just don't take time to consider that not everyone's circumstances are the same as theirs and there are perfectly logical explanations for why things are different for others. 

gamommyx3

Charissadeats said:

@ncm0328 How annoying!! You should make a t-shirt that says: 'We are a military family and my husband is currently serving your country. Now, either eff-off or bring me something to eat' 

haha.  I'm going to have this shirt made and sent to you.

Way off the UO topic but when I first went to my former OBGYN to talk about getting off the pill, the only question she asked me was "are you getting married?"  And at the time we had no plans to get married.  A throat punch would have been more appropriate but at the time I was so caught off guard that I just said "yes" to move the conversation along.

PYLWhammy

My rings haven't fit for a few weeks now and I'm so stupidly afraid of people's judgment. It's like, even if I WASN'T married, who cares? How is it anyone's business? DH and I were out the other day and he had his ring on, and I said "I wonder if anyone thinks we're not married and I'm having an affair with a married man." At least I got a laugh out of that.

PYLWhammy

@ncm0328 I'll never understand why some women think their pregnancies and births are SOOOO important that everyone wants to know every last detail. Narcissistic much?

wsgjmw1

yogahh said:

Totally not a UO but something that has been irritating me ... wanted to get your opinion. Does it bother anyone else when strangers on the street stare at your bump? I get it ALL OF THE TIME. Have they never seen a pregnant lady before? 

If you guys like the side eye, then I guess this is my UO for the week

Thats funny you bring this up, I was just thinking the same thing yesterday. I work at a college, and I swear when I walk around outside people stare at me like they have never in their whole life seen a pregnant woman. Its really uncomfortable.

Lusitano8

yogahh said:

Totally not a UO but something that has been irritating me ... wanted to get your opinion. Does it bother anyone else when strangers on the street stare at your bump? I get it ALL OF THE TIME. Have they never seen a pregnant lady before? 

If you guys like the side eye, then I guess this is my UO for the week

Yas!! This is driving me crazy for some reason! They just stare like my belly is a freak show. I prefer the people who strike up conversation about it. Even though I'm done answering how much longer, boy/girl/ 1st baby etc. 

I'm also pissed that people don't offer to help out preggo ladies more. Maybe this is too entitled but very few people offer to hold the door, offer up a seat or carry bags for me. I think common courtesy is dead.

missnc77

@ncm0328 Oh my gosh - I think I know what post you're talking about. I was scrolling through the other night relaxing on the couch with my husband looking at cute newborn pictures, then I got to that post. As if the placenta wasn't bad enough, then it was the naked picture in the bathtub, and I literally threw my ipad across the couch and yelled. My husband asked what was wrong, and I told him to look at the ipad. He grabbed it and then tossed it. I totally get birth is a natural thing, our bodies are a beautiful and natural thing, but ain't nobody got time for that when all they are expecting to see is a newborn and some general birth information (time/weight/etc).

My UO since we're talking about TV shows. Darryl on Walking Dead is my favorite character, and I always said the show would be ruined if he left it. However, this season, I feel like his story arch isn't really doing him justice. I almost feel like maybe it's Darryl's "time," and I think I'm coming to terms with being okay with that. But I am so not ready for Mischonne to go anywhere!

Also, Game of Thrones is amazing, and I'm so glad I have that to carry me through my last few weeks of waiting for my due date. Bring it! I'm ready to see Cersei go full on evil queen mode on those who wronged her last season.

TheThornBird

Aquinna82 said:

Charissadeats said:

@ncm0328 How annoying!! You should make a t-shirt that says: 'We are a military family and my husband is currently serving your country. Now, either eff-off or bring me something to eat' 

haha.  I'm going to have this shirt made and sent to you.

Way off the UO topic but when I first went to my former OBGYN to talk about getting off the pill, the only question she asked me was "are you getting married?"  And at the time we had no plans to get married.  A throat punch would have been more appropriate but at the time I was so caught off guard that I just said "yes" to move the conversation along.

Ugh! When I was in college an OB kept pressuring me to get tested for herpes, which isn't a routine STD screening and I had no symptoms of. When I said no thank you, she said "well we need to make sure you're not spreading it around!" I understand that they are doctors, but jeez. Have some manners. 

Lusitano8

swflJD said:

Here's mine:  I'm actually dreading going on maternity leave.  I can take up to 12 weeks off (8 weeks at full pay and 4 at half pay) and then work from home as long as I want, but I'm considering going back to work sooner. Even though my supervisor and I have discussed it all in detail and I know everything is going to be handled while I'm gone, the thought of being away from work that for long really stresses me out!  And the probability of having my mom and MIL at my house everyday makes me want to scream already! DH gets 3 weeks of paid paternity leave, and he can use some of the PTO he has been banking for a while if he wants to take off longer after I go back to work. Maybe I'll feel differently and want the time off after LO gets here, but my career is such a huge part of who I am, and the thought of being away from it for months makes my stomach turn.       

That's awesome you love your career and are eager to get back to it. But I would kill for a fraction of your benefits. So many of us don't have the luxury of staying home with our LO in the first month and have to return due to un-paid leave. Seriously is your company hiring!?

Charla1224

Headed home from vacation and traveling has stirred up several UO for me but I'll stick with the parenting one for here...

i get very annoyed by parents who use serving staff, other patrons, etc. as threats to get their own child to behave. On our flight here I heard two separate parent sets say to their child, "If you don't do X that flight attendant is going to come over and get you." Both times the flight attendant had to come over and basically scare the kids to follow directions. Another time I heard a parent tell a kid if they didn't sit and leave the next table alone the other patrons were going to "get" them. IMO your child should have a healthy level of respect (some would say fear idk if I want to say quite that though) so that if you say things in a particular tone or with a particular look on your face they know you mean business. After this trip I'm just annoyed by the number of parents I saw begging their kids to follow simple instructions or to be considerate of others.  

bkjade

Why is it that most baby gear is so ugly? Pastel and baby animal EVERYTHING. No thank you. No way am I putting this pastel green swing with baby giraffes on it in my living room. Nope. 

TXmamatobe

TheThornBird said:

Aquinna82 said:

Charissadeats said:

@ncm0328 How annoying!! You should make a t-shirt that says: 'We are a military family and my husband is currently serving your country. Now, either eff-off or bring me something to eat' 

haha.  I'm going to have this shirt made and sent to you.

Way off the UO topic but when I first went to my former OBGYN to talk about getting off the pill, the only question she asked me was "are you getting married?"  And at the time we had no plans to get married.  A throat punch would have been more appropriate but at the time I was so caught off guard that I just said "yes" to move the conversation along.

Ugh! When I was in college an OB kept pressuring me to get tested for herpes, which isn't a routine STD screening and I had no symptoms of. When I said no thank you, she said "well we need to make sure you're not spreading it around!" I understand that they are doctors, but jeez. Have some manners. 

This kind of stuff kills me. A few years ago an OB said I should get a full STD test and I declined saying I had no symptoms. She asked if I had more than one sexual partner within the last few years and I said no, I've been married for five years. She laughed and said, "we're testing you. Husbands can't always be trusted..."  I said no, left and never went back. Ridiculous!! 

LadySamLady

missnc77 said:

My UO since we're talking about TV shows. Darryl on Walking Dead is my favorite character, and I always said the show would be ruined if he left it. However, this season, I feel like his story arch isn't really doing him justice. I almost feel like maybe it's Darryl's "time," and I think I'm coming to terms with being okay with that. But I am so not ready for Mischonne to go anywhere!

Darryl is my favorite too! And I totally agree, I feel like they kind of abandoned his story arch and it bums me out. I'm not ready for it to be his time though. My H thinks Glen or Darryl will be done this season for sure and I'm so not ready for either of them to go! Carol on the other hand, she can go at any time. I honestly can't believe she's lasted this long. I do really like this season despite the lack of solid Darryl story lines.

AnastasiaBeaverhausen09

@laurenmdrn16 I'll admit that when I first saw the article headline, I wondered if it was blown out of proportion.  But then I read the details, like they had actively collected the packets, combined the filling, and brought it to school.  Maybe they truly didn't realize the extend of what they were doing, but they still could have hurt or killed that child, had they put the filling in their food (I don't know if the filling is actually poisonous).  When I hated someone in first grade, I just didn't put a valentine in their box on valentine's day!  First grade Anastasia was a real badass, haha.

AnastasiaBeaverhausen09

bkjade said:

Why is it that most baby gear is so ugly? Pastel and baby animal EVERYTHING. No thank you. No way am I putting this pastel green swing with baby giraffes on it in my living room. Nope. 

Famous last words....

Charissadeats

@TXmamatobe Excuse me?! 

laurenmdrn16

Charla1224 said:

Headed home from vacation and traveling has stirred up several UO for me but I'll stick with the parenting one for here...

i get very annoyed by parents who use serving staff, other patrons, etc. as threats to get their own child to behave. On our flight here I heard two separate parent sets say to their child, "If you don't do X that flight attendant is going to come over and get you." Both times the flight attendant had to come over and basically scare the kids to follow directions. Another time I heard a parent tell a kid if they didn't sit and leave the next table alone the other patrons were going to "get" them. IMO your child should have a healthy level of respect (some would say fear idk if I want to say quite that though) so that if you say things in a particular tone or with a particular look on your face they know you mean business. After this trip I'm just annoyed by the number of parents I saw begging their kids to follow simple instructions or to be considerate of others.  

Spiraling off this, I HATE when people use police officers to threaten kids to behave. It sends very mixed messages about "who are the people in your neighborhood" who kids can look to for help (anyone else remember that from Mister Roger's Neighborhood?). I even had a parent try to use me to threaten a kid to eat her lunch saying that if she didn't eat her sandwich "the nurse would get very mad and make you stay in for recess" WHHHHAAAA? First, no. Second, I need to be a safe person for the kids to come to so they open up about sensitive health topics. Don't make me the bad guy just because you don't know how to talk to your kid. Why would you want to plant the fear of servers, strangers, and public protectors like police, doctors and nurses?