Advice from you ladies

jdarlinghunt

This is my 2nd pregnancy and though it's still early, I am optimistic and praying for a healthy baby. My first appointment is the week before Mother's Day and I thought it'd be fun to share the news with family on that day by my daughter wearing a cute shirt. Here is the problem, my SIL is going through the IUI process and keeps getting bad news. She already has two healthy children but I know it'll be a heartbreak for her to find out I'm pregnant if she is by then or not. I do not want to hurt her but I also think that my family deserves a happy & celebratory moment as well. What are your thoughts? I haven't told anyone about pregnancy and this is weighing on my mind more than anything so that's why I need some help from you sweet Mommas 

JulieSmiles

I would get together with your SIL first and tell her one on one. Give her a few days to process so she can celebrate with you when you tell the rest of your family. 

princesslockness

My advice is that whatever you do, do not blindside her in front of others. Call her, email something before hand so she can react in private, and prepare herself to celebrate with family.

LucyGoose8710

I'm in a similar position - my sister is struggling with infertility and my brother's wife just had an early loss in January. I have planned to go to lunch with each of them to tell the news before we do a public announcement. Definitely something to be sensitive about. 

jdarlinghunt

Perfect. Exactly what I have been thinking about doing. Thanks ladies. I will definitely sit down beforehand. 

DiFazette

I agree with PP.  have a conversation with her - alone, first.  I'm sure it will stir up hard emotions for her, but I think she'll be happy for you.  

princesslockness

LucyGoose8710 said:

I'm in a similar position - my sister is struggling with infertility and my brother's wife just had an early loss in January. I have planned to go to lunch with each of them to tell the news before we do a public announcement. Definitely something to be sensitive about. 

I would think hard about taking them to lunch. Even though it isn't in front of family, it is still very much of a public place. Some of the wonderful ladies on TTGP have said that a phone call/text/email, while seeming like an after thought, was best. They could react naturally in private with/out their SO. Then they didn't have to hold in their emotions because they are at a restaurant or something.

jdarlinghunt

That is probably what will be best in our situation Kate. I was thinking a text would be more comfortable for the both of us and I'm glad that a few of you think that will be ok. 

jdarlinghunt

Th

msirni0

***completely lurking***
i have been creepily lurking over here hoping to join you ladies in a few days (though not optimistic). I can give you the other perspective. I have been struggling for 2 years to get pregnant and am in the middle of IUI treatments. I went through a very similar situation with my SIL. She told me when she found out she was pregnant in a direct manner. Make sure that if you tell her in person it's somewhere private and somewhere she has an exit strategy. It may be upsetting for her to hear, but she will not want to seem like she is not excited for you. I unfortunately was stuck in the house with her for another 45 minutes when I needed time to cry and work through my feelings about it. GL and I hope you have a H&H 9 months.

LucyGoose8710

@Kate08Young that's a really good point. Thanks for that perspective. 

jdarlinghunt

@msirni0 I sure do hope this is your time. Thank you for your input. Do you think a sweet text is too informal? I don't want to hurt her in any way! 

msirni0

Honestly I think it depends on your relationship. I think that if you tell her the reason WHY you're texting (you know that it would be hard for her to hear, wanted to tell her in a way where she can take her time to react) that it wouldn't necessarily be informal. I sort of wish that I hadn't been told in person bc I had to paste a smile on my face. A text gives her a little time to honestly cope with her feelings and then respond if that makes sense. Good luck! It is really nice that you are thoughtful of her feelings. It's of course an exciting time for you, but I'm glad you're thinking of her too.