Two or more baby showers?? — The Bump
September 2016 Moms

Two or more baby showers??

Hey Ladies I tried to search and see if this was already talked about, so forgive me if it was.

My best friends mom (who is like a second mother to me) offered to throw me a shower which I gladly accepted.
Now my Aunt has also offered to not only throw me a shower but a gender reveal and she wants to pay for a spa weekend get a way.
My SIL is also pregnant (we are 3 weeks apart) and so my MIL is throwing us a co-shower.
I am very happy and blessed to have such great people in my life.

I don't know how to have multiple showers? How do you decide who to invite to which?
3 feels so excessive, I feel uncomfortable accepting gifts at all but I really could use the baby gear.
Should I have separate registries? And is it terrible etiquette to register for non-baby items? We are buying a house and need, well, everything.

Any thoughts?
(Side note: I cannot turn any of them down)
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Re: Two or more baby showers??

  • Wow you are very loved! :smile: 

    My very good friends from work told me that they would like to throw me a shower and invite anyone I wanted from work. I'm a teacher so this would likely be the first shower before the summer. 

    And my mom and sister plan on throwing me another bigger one for family and friends. 

    I only plan on inviting two of my best friends from work to both, but have already told them they 100% can tell me hey have other plans -- I'm just really close to them and would feel weird not inviting them, if that makes sense? 

    I only plan to have one registry. However, we are thinking of registering at two different places. Buy buy baby and 

    What other kinds of things are you wanting to register for? 
  • Maybe some appliances? Nothing over the top, I was thinking anything I would use for the baby would be okay. I have a very stuffy family so etiquette is everything.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I had 3 showers with my first: work, family (women), and friends (co-ed kegger)....we had two registries for BBB and PBK, but provided both for all invitations....only one person was invited to more than one cousin-in-law who (was) also a friend....oh and my sister, so I guess 2....try not to invite anyone to more than 1 unless they would be hurt if they were going to miss out...if you do invite anyone to more than 1, be sure to let them know informally that they shouldn't bring a gift to subsequent showers, and you just want their company....that's how I did it anyways....I definitely wouldn't register for non-baby stuff (I would seriously side-eye that) but fun fact: BBB gift cards can be used for bed bath and beyond.....and if you register at Target, you might gift cards there too....
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  • I completely forgot about gift cards, that is an amazing solution.
    I don't think anyone will be at all 3, not even my mom, so I wont have to worry about that.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I have two jobs and there has been mention of a baby shower at each one plus my mom is throwing me one. It's hard when the offers are from non-work people. I would suggest, make a list of all the people you want attending your baby shower. Then from there, divide it by the people that know your best friend and her mom and the people that don't know them, Invite those to your mom's house. As far as registries, maybe register somewhere like Target or Amazon where you can return extra baby things you don't need and exchange them for household items you might need. you can also maybe see if you can turn one of the parties into a baby shower/housewarming party so you feel less weird about registering for non baby things.

    Good luck!
  • I think the Aunt one could be family only, and the friend's mother's one could be friends only.  That's what I would do. 

    Honestly I am expecting we will somehow have more than one, since my in-laws and their friends live about an hour (or more) away, and all of our friends live relatively near by. 
  • I definitely don't want to seem gift grabby!
    I'm glad other people are having multiple showers, makes me feel better. 

    I feel so new to all of this and it can get a bit overwhelming!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • As long as there is no overlap in guest lists, I think it is okay to have as many showers as people are willing to throw for you. I had 2 - one was in my hometown and included my family and some friends that live in my hometown. The second was in the town that I live in and included mostly friends and some of DH's family.  The first was women only, the second was coed.

    Use the same registry (or set of registries) for all of your showers. Guests won't care so don't make it more complicated than it needs to be.

    Do not register for non-baby related items. That just seems rude to me.

  • I would do one registry and make sure you have a lot of stuff on it.  if you're finding out what you're having, people will buy cute clothes and might not use the registry at all anyway so that shouldn't be an issue.  I would not register for non-baby items because that could appear tacky.

    As for who to invite, I'd divide my list amongst the 3 events.  All family at one, friends at another, co-workers (??), etc.  The only people I'd invite to all 3 are the grandmothers and/or your siblings (if you have them) because they won't feel obligated to buy you any more than they were already planning to do anyway.
    Piper, 4/10/10
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    Morgan, EDD 9/22/16

  • edited March 2016
    With my daughter, I had three. My husband's mother's side threw us one, his father's side threw us another, and the chorus I sang with at the time threw me one. I also didn't feel comfortable turning anyone down, so I accepted all three. I split the family shower's guest list up amongst friends so nobody (but close family who wanted to attend both) got double invited.

    ETA: No non baby items on registry. Maybe you could make one of those showers a housewarming/baby shower. Ask for gift cards only. But if it's presented as baby shower, only ask for baby items.
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    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Multiple showers are no big deal as long as it's not the same guests being invited over and over. I had three. One at work, one at home with geographically close family and friends, and one back in my hometown where most of my family lives.

    One registry, no problem. I found that a lot more people shop on their own instead of using the registry compared to wedding showers. They may be moms who used products that I don't know about so they bought them for me to try, or some people just really love buying baby blankets and clothes.

    it was absolutely not a problem. There is more than enough baby crap out there to buy.
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  • I vote for having multiple showers ok but don't overlap your guest lists (except for sisters/mother/etc if they're interested), 1 registry will work, and please - do not put household items on your registry, even if you need them. Have a housewarming party with a registry if you really want house gifts (not that I would attend/purchase things for such a party) but definitely not a baby shower. nope nope nope.
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  • I know my family will throw a shower for me but I think we will just do a baby-q in the summer with friends. We've seen it done where guys bring diapers, girls bring wipes and it's really worked out well. Only one or two friends from that would be invited to the actual shower (it's in Canada so I would offer to drive whoever wanted to come, but I don't know if anyone would come). My hubby's family is all over the USA so I won't get to see them unfortunately. 

    I think it's ok to have more than one shower if different groups want to throw them, but I don't think I'd invite the same people and if I did I would tell them I don't expect gifts at both. Just their presence if they want to attend. 
  • What I am doing is just having one registry and three showers. One for my side of the family, one for husband's side and a friends shower where we invite all our close male and female friends. They will just be at our houses and be around 10-15 people at each. It's not unusual where I am from to have separate showers for different sides of the family. 
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