I have a 15 month old DD and am expecting #2 in a few months. My problem is we are far from our family and will be moving even farther. We plan to come "home" for about 3 weeks later this year but don't plan to stay with my parents. This will devastate them but they both smoke in the house. They don't do it while we are there but it still sticks to everything, in the past we have let dd spend the night there, and when she came home everything smelled like smoke and we had to air her bed out for a whole day plus wash it twice. Obviously we don't want her exposed to that.
My mother complains she doesn't see her grandchildren enough so I invited her to come watch dd while we are away for a week at my house (which is a few hours away) she agreed and is now changing her mind and wants us to bring dd to her house. (tickets are already bought) I need to tell her today that I will not be bringing my kid there due to the smoke and will have another family member watch DD if coming out is too much of a problem. Since I don't want to have this conversation twice I plan on telling her we also wont be staying there with the newborn and dd later this year.
I realize it is their house and they can do whatever they want in it, but growing up in a house filled with smoke and always smelling like it I vowed that I wouldn't put my kids in the same situation. Has anyone had to have this conversation with family in the past? how did you deal with it? any suggestions?