Returning to work — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Returning to work

Sorry if this has been discussed already but anyone else having a hard time returning to work? Thought it would be easier that DD is my second but she is always in the back of my head. I always wonder how DH is handling everything because he is not as patient as I and he admits being rocky at parenting. I told him to try his best and eventually he'll get into the swing of things.

What are you doing for child care as well? How has your transition been?
DD#1 born 12/30/2015
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DS#1 born 02/19/2013
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Re: Returning to work

  • KFrobKFrob member
    I have to go back Monday and it's absolutely breaking my heart. I cried four times yesterday. I thought I would be okay and ready to go back but I was so wrong. The thought of some stranger spending so much time and caring for LO is killing me. I feel like between my commute and work I'll get to see her an hour before bed time. How does everyone do this!? 
  • I go back April 4 and am dreading it! Luckily, LO will be in childcare within a 10 minute walk from my office so I'll get to visit him over my lunch break and will get to spend more time with him in the car on the way to and from school. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Lilypie - FiGB
    Married DH 11/15/08
    Formerly MissMheMhe
    mamakate1616
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  • I'm in my last month of maternity leave, and it's started to hit me that I won't be spending all day with my baby soon. She was smiling at me this morning and I got super teary. I know we all have to do what's best for our family, but it's heart-breaking. 
  • I'm in the middle of my third week back. I won't lie...It's been TOUGH! The only thing that has made is slightly better is that I leave her with family everyday. She's either with my mom, my sister, or my sister-in-law depending on the day. Also, I'm a teacher, so I'm off at 2. That makes it a little better as well. But I still spend all day anxious that I'm not with her. With that being said, however, I'm still doing okay. It took me an entire week of working to feel that way and to really "focus" at work. The first few days I don't think I did anything other than go through the motions. It gets better/easier with time, I promise! I don't even cry when I leave her anymore. Plus, a part of me likes the "me" time, even if it is at work!
    Jan18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies

    **TW**
    BFP #1: 12/1/14 said goodbye 1/2/15
    BFP #2: 5/5/15
    EDD: 1/15/16
    Wren Marie born 1/7/16
    BFP #3 4/26/17
    EDD: 12/30/17
  • I have to go back next month and I'm already wondering how I'm going to do it.  My FIL will be watching DD. I'm glad it's family, but I just feel like I'm going to miss her growing up because some days she'll be going to bed as I'm coming home. There are three shifts 7-4, 8-5, and 9-6. We all work a combination of these throughout the week. Plus some Saturdays from 8-1. I really wish I could stay home for a couple years. 
    Married March 19, 2011
    TTC off and on 04/14
    BFP 06/13/14 MC 06/15/14
    BFP 12/14/14
    1st Appt 01/13/2015
    M/C 1/19/15 D&C 1/20/15
    BFP 5/13/15
    1st Appt 06/10/2015 Peanut has HB 150
    A/S 09/02/15 It's a Girl!! Low placenta, but everything else great!

    IAmPregnant Ticker

  • I came back to work on Monday from a 3 month leave with my first baby. I'm just doing 4 hours a day for a couple weeks before I go back full time. I've actually found it sort of nice to have a little "me time," even if it's work. I know it will be much harder leaving him for 8 hours a day. I've heard that some women are really ready to go back to work, so I tried to have that attitude about it. I definitely get SO excited to see him when I get off, though! I think it also helps that I'm leaving him with family. 

    I also feel feel guilty that I can't be a stay at home mom with him. I feel like the only time we'll have together is right before bedtime and I worry that he won't like me best anymore. 

    Also, I've found that I have to do a lot the night before (pack my lunch, pick out my outfit, shower) so I can get out the door on time. I recommend waking up super early as you get a routine down. It sucks having to rush with a screaming baby :) 
  • I go back Monday amd I'm absolutely dreading it. I keep thinking "this is my last _____(day of the week) that I can be with my baby all day! I lucked out because my mom does daycare so at least she'll be with someone I trust but it's still going to be so. Freaking. Hard. Ugh!
  • I'm starting to crack up about it and I don't go back until April 18! I work an hour away and with DC traffic the commute home is always a crapshoot. I'm blessed to have a great MiL caring for her but even that adds 40 minutes of car time since they live so far out of the way, and that's not counting time chatting about how the day went. I have no idea how we will be able to spend any quality time and do routine stuff and eat and sleep. Forget about time to relax or work out, ugh. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • KFrobKFrob member
    I'm jealous of everyone with family available to watch their LOs! I'm using a home daycare and can't help but let my mind wonder about trusting this stranger and hoping that she's going to take great care of my babe. 
  • KFrobKFrob member
    Achae said:
    KFrob said:
    I'm jealous of everyone with family available to watch their LOs! I'm using a home daycare and can't help but let my mind wonder about trusting this stranger and hoping that she's going to take great care of my babe. 
    Think of it this way, it's much easier to disagree and tell them how you want things done because they are doing it as a job, family you might be worried about telling them you don't like how they do things. 
    Thank you for the positive side I needed it! 
  • Not going back until closer to the end of April. I'm already feeling so anxious and guilty. DD will be with DH and grandparents so I do feel ok with who I'm leaving her with but I am afraid I'll miss big things. She's in this phase where she'll stop crying when handed to me and just face plant between my boobs to get as close as possible. I'm worried I won't be that ultimate comfort when I leave her...I'm telling myself for now that continuing to pump so she gets breast milk will keep my smell and boobs her security blanket. Hoping that doesn't sound as weird as I think it does.
  • alisongem said:
    I go back Monday amd I'm absolutely dreading it. I keep thinking "this is my last _____(day of the week) that I can be with my baby all day! I lucked out because my mom does daycare so at least she'll be with someone I trust but it's still going to be so. Freaking. Hard. Ugh!
    This! I go back on Monday too and am having the same agonizing mental countdown going and it stinks. I don't want to leave her with someone else at daycare. I plan on being a mess monday, thankfully only working half days first week back. I don't know how people do this.
  • kkfl2m+b said:
    I'm starting to crack up about it and I don't go back until April 18! I work an hour away and with DC traffic the commute home is always a crapshoot. I'm blessed to have a great MiL caring for her but even that adds 40 minutes of car time since they live so far out of the way, and that's not counting time chatting about how the day went. I have no idea how we will be able to spend any quality time and do routine stuff and eat and sleep. Forget about time to relax or work out, ugh. 
    I'm in the DC area also...with no traffic it's an hour commute to and from work. Luckily, my mom will be watching him and she's on my way to the office but it's still killing me that I only half a week and a half left!
    mamakate1616
  • I went back to work Monday, and I cried so hard. Still do everyday as I'm getting her ready, then actually dropping her off.. Today is day #4, and it still feels the same as it did Monday... Ugh. She's in a daycare, so that was a hard adjustment but I really love it there and they do SO much. So that's the perk.. And its a 3 min drive from my work.. But I wish I got back the 8 hours a day with her, that someone else is enjoying now. :(

    Good luck mamas!
  • I've been back 4 weeks already (only took 6 since that's how long I could be paid, using my sick days of course). Honestly for me it wasn't bad. I "practiced" starting 2 weeks PP but dropping him off with my Mom to do grocery shopping, things that would get me out of the house for a few hours. She would be watching him so it gave them time to get acquainted and us time to get our routine comfortable. I was fine coming back, only a few moments of being a little sad but mostly thinking that my working pays for our medical insurance and rent so I might as well be positive about it. I get to go to happy hour every other Friday which is nice adult/socialization time and I actually enjoy my nice long quiet commute, gives me some time to myself so I can be nice and energized to take care of my munchkin when I'm home. I love to "talk" to him about my day when I see him :)
    BelleZBoomamakate1616narissa2013
  • I went back to work this week and honestly? I was nervous the first day and still am nervous about leaving him with someone else - but that's my anxiety. I enjoy getting a break and think of it as my "adult vacation". Plus, it helps me to balance out my life. I can appreciate the baby more when I have to deal with crappy adults at work and do boring work stuff. And then when the baby is riding the fuss bus I can go to work and forget about it for a bit.

    To be honest, the walls were closing in on me at home ever day. I can't do it. Some people love it but it just made me anxious, sad and lonely.
    Vincent 1.1.16 & Daniel 11.6.07
    In Memory of Barbara <3 , beloved mother and grandmother
    willashbabyBelleZBooRach8672
  • KFrob said:
    I'm jealous of everyone with family available to watch their LOs! I'm using a home daycare and can't help but let my mind wonder about trusting this stranger and hoping that she's going to take great care of my babe. 
    We started using an in home daycare with DS1 almost three years ago. It's where DS2 will go in a few more weeks too. We've had such a positive experience there. It's hard when they start off as strangers to you but now our daycare lady and her family are like a second family to us. They even came to the hospital when DS2 was born. 
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    KFrob
  • I don't go back until the end of April and I am dreading having to be so organized getting both kids out of the house in the morning and to two different places.  My mom is watching my littlest until summer break (5 weeks) to save us daycare costs but my 2 year old will keep going to daycare.  
  • I agree @Achae I have a split of both. My MIL watches LO one day and then she has a nanny the other 2 days. It is so much easier for me to express my desires to my nanny than my MIL because I know I will always have to deal with my MIL even if we disagree!
    KFrobAchae
  • I'm dreading it. Not sure how it will all work out. I work from 7-4 ( super demanding job and I usually stay later) and my commute is an hour and a half. My son will be in day care, I can't stand the fact that I'll only see him a couple hours a day. 
  • I go back to work on the 30th. I will be on overnights with a new patient. DD2 will be at home with DH while I work. Trying to get DD2 to sleep in her cribs has been our struggle but we are making major progress. She will sleep some of the night in her crib and then with me, but we are also moving things around in our bedroom so we have it set up as to how DD2 will sleep in our room. 
    Now if we could just get the cat on board. She responds to DD2's crying by meowing...

  • BarrettJ89BarrettJ89 member
    edited March 2016
    For me, the best advice I was given was to wear waterproof mascara and allow extra time in the morning. My first day back, I sat in my truck and sobbed. Hopefully, you have someone at work that you can run to for a hug or a quick chat (bonus points if that person is a mom). Also, if you get a minute, call whoever is watching your LO and ask for updates. My mom was watching him, so I would demand her to send me pictures throughout the day with updates. 

    It is definitely an adjustment, and there's no doubt you'll miss baby, but it will be OK! Good luck! 

    Edit: new phone has no clue what I'm trying to say...
  • I've been working part time for a few weeks now and it definitely sucks. I miss her while I'm gone for those couple hours several days a week. Luckily my mom can watch her, so I don't pay for childcare. 
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  • We met our nannys kids this weekend. They are adorable and well behaved and loving and so excited to hang out with a baby :) I go back to work in 2 weeks, so I'm going to leave her a day this week and a day next week to ease myself into it, but I know I'm going to have an absolute nervous breakdown. I wish baby smiles paid bills.
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