How are you dealing with the anxiety and stress? — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

How are you dealing with the anxiety and stress?

How is everyone dealing?  I had my first appointment yesterday and I was a bundle of nerves. Hardly slept the night before and even my blood pressure was elevated.  I have 33 more weeks to go and I don't know how I will get through it.  Anyone belong to support groups or go to counseling? The nurse practitioner let me know how detrimental stress is to a pregnancy (thanks?).  Wondered how you ladies try to manage it.

Re: How are you dealing with the anxiety and stress?

  • I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My experience is a little different though since I had a late-term loss. I think I'll probably get more stressed later in the pregnancy. 


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  • RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    edited March 2016
    I'm so sorry you're anxious. I feel it too. I try to find things that distract me physically and mentally. Knitting works well, because my hands are moving and I have to constantly keep track of my pattern. This is what I did when I woke up at 4AM one day this week and couldn't go back to sleep. Otherwise, getting a short shoulder massage or even a gentle back rub from my H helps a ton to calm my physical nerves.

    Another idea is an adult coloring book. I've heard they are really relaxing, and the designs I've seen are gorgeously intricate.

    ETA: I'll try to do something relaxing like this right before bed. And if I still can't sleep, I get out of bed and knit some more so I'm not just laying I there agonizing over the clock. 
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  • @waterfall213 Actually I too had a late term loss at 37 weeks.  Makes me feel like I won't get any relief from feeling anxious this whole pregnancy.  

    @RiverSong15 Great idea with the knitting.  I haven't done it in a few years.  Plus it gives me a reason to go yarn shopping and that's half the fun of knitting.  I had made a hippo for my God-daughter out of a bunch of different scrap yarn so the proportions are all weird.  She still loves that thing, haha. 

  • @EmmieAnn22 I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious already. I'm actually surprised that I'm calm. I haven't had an appointment yet though. We'll see how I feel next week.

    I think something to stay busy/distracted is a great idea. I've been coloring a lot lately and that helps me relax. 


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  • I definitely need ideas to relax!
  • @EmmieAnn22 I'm definitely still pretty new to knitting. Blankets are pretty much all I can do, but since we have two sets of friends who either just had a kid or are ready to pop any day now, I have an excuse to knit cute baby blankets. I also have a cable knit afghan pattern I've been working on forever. I'd love to know how to do a hippo!
  • Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. I can't say I know exactly how you feel because I had a loss at 8 weeks. For me it started to get a little bit easier after I passed the 8 week mark in this pregnancy, but I still worry everyday. The thing that has helped me the most has been my daily meditation practice, I do about 20-30minutes everyday. I feel so fortunate that I had it in place before I had the m/c. There were a lot of days where I cried through the whole thing, but I showed up everyday and I was able to work through a lot by just showing up. I use the time now to feel my LO from my intuition and pray for continued growth, health and happiness. 

    I like to use sentences or "mantras" to help me change or face my fearful thoughts. I use "I am a happy healthy home for a happy healthy baby." When I feel the anxiety I repeat my sentence to myself to remind myself to stay in the positivity. 

    One of my favorite meditations to calm the mind is on It's a 15 minute guided meditation with rod stryker. You can try yogaglo free for 15 days. Here is a link to the meditation I like:

    When I am having a hard time dropping into a meditative state I like to do guided meditations and then sit for a time afterwards in stillness. 

    Hang in there mama and talk it one day at a time. Every morning when I wake up I place my hand on my belly and say hello to my LO and thank the heavens I am still pregnant. 
  • Hi @EmmieAnn22  I know I had a TON of anxiety and stress especially in the beginning. I just felt so sure that at any point they would tell me bad news. Similar to you, my blood pressure and heart rate were insane at that first appointment and I was trembling so bad. And I cried after my 10 week check in because they "only" did the Doppler and I wanted so badly to see the baby. I was afraid that the only time I would see this baby was the initial datin scan like the last one. Ive noticed as the appointments continue and as I keep getting reassuring feedback that my anxiety is less and less. I try to keep in mind that I am doing all I can to be healthy and that there is nothing I can do if I receive bad news. I hate the idea of going through this whole pregnancy a bundle of nerves and not finding things to enjoy.

    I would definitely recommend counseling (which makes sense since I am a counselor) and I've also found that using my fitbit charge helps because while I am in the waiting room before my appointment I just sit and check my heart rate and focus on getting that number done. So I focus on my breathing, mindfulness, and relaxation. That has helped a TON! Now that baby is moving I feel some more relief but honestly, not a day goes by where I am not thinking about it or aware that bad stuff can happen. So when I am worried I talk about it with people who understand and are supportive. Hope things get better each appointment you go to!
  • You ladies are great!  Thanks for listening and for all the advice.
  • I was once told it isn't everyday stress that is detrimental it is big stressors, like loosing a job, the death of a family member, moving, etc.  We are mothers of course we are going to stress, especially after what we have been through.

    I do agree distraction is key, in the early stages I would plan out our weekend to the brim so it was like 2 less days in the week and by the time I got back to work on Monday it seemed like I fast forwarded through the weekend.

    I also have suggested this before but keeping a countdown to appointments and milestones on my phone really helped me.  I'd look at it and think I can do it I can make it to the end of the week or I can make it to my next appointment.

    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
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