How are you dealing with the anxiety and stress?

EmmieAnn22

How is everyone dealing?  I had my first appointment yesterday and I was a bundle of nerves. Hardly slept the night before and even my blood pressure was elevated.  I have 33 more weeks to go and I don't know how I will get through it.  Anyone belong to support groups or go to counseling? The nurse practitioner let me know how detrimental stress is to a pregnancy (thanks?).  Wondered how you ladies try to manage it.

waterfall213

I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My experience is a little different though since I had a late-term loss. I think I'll probably get more stressed later in the pregnancy. 

RiverSong15

I'm so sorry you're anxious. I feel it too. I try to find things that distract me physically and mentally. Knitting works well, because my hands are moving and I have to constantly keep track of my pattern. This is what I did when I woke up at 4AM one day this week and couldn't go back to sleep. Otherwise, getting a short shoulder massage or even a gentle back rub from my H helps a ton to calm my physical nerves.

Another idea is an adult coloring book. I've heard they are really relaxing, and the designs I've seen are gorgeously intricate.

ETA: I'll try to do something relaxing like this right before bed. And if I still can't sleep, I get out of bed and knit some more so I'm not just laying I there agonizing over the clock. 

EmmieAnn22

@waterfall213 Actually I too had a late term loss at 37 weeks.  Makes me feel like I won't get any relief from feeling anxious this whole pregnancy.  

@RiverSong15 Great idea with the knitting.  I haven't done it in a few years.  Plus it gives me a reason to go yarn shopping and that's half the fun of knitting.  I had made a hippo for my God-daughter out of a bunch of different scrap yarn so the proportions are all weird.  She still loves that thing, haha. 

waterfall213

@EmmieAnn22 I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious already. I'm actually surprised that I'm calm. I haven't had an appointment yet though. We'll see how I feel next week.

I think something to stay busy/distracted is a great idea. I've been coloring a lot lately and that helps me relax. 

Jolenef07

I definitely need ideas to relax!

RiverSong15

@EmmieAnn22 I'm definitely still pretty new to knitting. Blankets are pretty much all I can do, but since we have two sets of friends who either just had a kid or are ready to pop any day now, I have an excuse to knit cute baby blankets. I also have a cable knit afghan pattern I've been working on forever. I'd love to know how to do a hippo!

lickastick

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. I can't say I know exactly how you feel because I had a loss at 8 weeks. For me it started to get a little bit easier after I passed the 8 week mark in this pregnancy, but I still worry everyday. The thing that has helped me the most has been my daily meditation practice, I do about 20-30minutes everyday. I feel so fortunate that I had it in place before I had the m/c. There were a lot of days where I cried through the whole thing, but I showed up everyday and I was able to work through a lot by just showing up. I use the time now to feel my LO from my intuition and pray for continued growth, health and happiness. 

I like to use sentences or "mantras" to help me change or face my fearful thoughts. I use "I am a happy healthy home for a happy healthy baby." When I feel the anxiety I repeat my sentence to myself to remind myself to stay in the positivity. 

One of my favorite meditations to calm the mind is on yogaglo.com. It's a 15 minute guided meditation with rod stryker. You can try yogaglo free for 15 days. Here is a link to the meditation I like:
https://www.yogaglo.com/class/4278

When I am having a hard time dropping into a meditative state I like to do guided meditations and then sit for a time afterwards in stillness. 

Hang in there mama and talk it one day at a time. Every morning when I wake up I place my hand on my belly and say hello to my LO and thank the heavens I am still pregnant. 

purplefan1

Hi @EmmieAnn22  I know I had a TON of anxiety and stress especially in the beginning. I just felt so sure that at any point they would tell me bad news. Similar to you, my blood pressure and heart rate were insane at that first appointment and I was trembling so bad. And I cried after my 10 week check in because they "only" did the Doppler and I wanted so badly to see the baby. I was afraid that the only time I would see this baby was the initial datin scan like the last one. Ive noticed as the appointments continue and as I keep getting reassuring feedback that my anxiety is less and less. I try to keep in mind that I am doing all I can to be healthy and that there is nothing I can do if I receive bad news. I hate the idea of going through this whole pregnancy a bundle of nerves and not finding things to enjoy.

I would definitely recommend counseling (which makes sense since I am a counselor) and I've also found that using my fitbit charge helps because while I am in the waiting room before my appointment I just sit and check my heart rate and focus on getting that number done. So I focus on my breathing, mindfulness, and relaxation. That has helped a TON! Now that baby is moving I feel some more relief but honestly, not a day goes by where I am not thinking about it or aware that bad stuff can happen. So when I am worried I talk about it with people who understand and are supportive. Hope things get better each appointment you go to!

EmmieAnn22

You ladies are great!  Thanks for listening and for all the advice.

bntfroggie

I was once told it isn't everyday stress that is detrimental it is big stressors, like loosing a job, the death of a family member, moving, etc.  We are mothers of course we are going to stress, especially after what we have been through.

I do agree distraction is key, in the early stages I would plan out our weekend to the brim so it was like 2 less days in the week and by the time I got back to work on Monday it seemed like I fast forwarded through the weekend.

I also have suggested this before but keeping a countdown to appointments and milestones on my phone really helped me.  I'd look at it and think I can do it I can make it to the end of the week or I can make it to my next appointment.