For those of you having boys...do you plan to circumcise?

hokiejenn

I've heard that leaving boys intact is becoming more common. I'm interested in what those of you in our little group are planning to do.

colesmom33

With my son, I left it up to my husband.  I felt that he had more invested in the decision than I did.  He felt pretty strongly that our son needed to be circumcised.  I had mixed feelings but read somewhere that it's good for the sons to "match" the dad.  Who knows?! 

AmberLiz99

I left it up to my husband too. I didn't feel too strongly either way, and he did

ahernandez16

Also left it up to my husband. He's not and didn't think we should make a decision like that for our son, which I agree with so that's that. 

mar101483

My H wants to circumcise our son, but I feel very strongly against it. Having  seen it done, it's something I can never justify doing to my child, but I know I'm in the minority.

arosemong

I too left it up to my husband & he said he 100% wants our son circumcised. 

alileecam

Didn't with our first, won't with this one. There were a lot of factors that went into the decision for DH and I and we researched/debated both options. I am fine with whatever choice people choose for themselves, but it does bother me a bit when people say, "I don't have a penis, I can't make an informed choice." It's likely that either way, moms will be the ones taking care of their sons a lot of the time, and performing the maintenance/care that comes with either choice. So I think that both parents should have a say and do their own research to make the decision together.

DeePaddy24

I don't have any strong feelings either way. H said he doesn't want to, & I see no reason to...so, we won't be. 

amaseya

We felt that it's a decision we shouldn't make for our son and didn't do it with #1, so we won't with #2. 

CopperLane

We won't be. Initially I was all gung-ho on getting it done, but my husband (who is cut) wanted to research it. After looking around, listening to podcasts, looking at internet opinions, we decided not to do it. 

Intact males don't need lotion to masturbate! Totally didn't know that! 

I highly suggest searching the topic on Reddit as you figure out your decision. You will see opinions from men from countries all around Europe, as well as the US and Canada. It was important for us to see a more worldly view of the subject and we learned a lot about care. I was listening to a podcast from an American doctor who stopped performing circumcision because he decided it was wrong, but he wasn't educated on the care of foreskins. He said that the foreskin needed to be peeled back to be cleansed, but that was wrong and the foreskin retracts on its own around age 10! I don't blame him for being uneducated about the care since it was once common place to get snipped in the us. But some countries consider peeling back a newborn's foreskin as child abuse I'm not saying it is, but if you do decide to leave a son intact it's best to leave the foreskin fused where it is to help prevent him from developing the UTIs and other infections that toddlers can get. 

CourtJack

Nope. We won't be. Hubby isn't, DS isn't, and this little guy won't be either. Not medically necessary is our reasoning. 

Huskerfanz

We did in part because the American Academy of Pediatrics said benefits outweigh risks.  We will do it with these guys as well.

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/newborn-male-circumcision.aspx

lm45678

I'm team green, FTM but my boys will be circumcised.

Rosehip15

CopperLane said:

He said that the foreskin needed to be peeled back to be cleansed, but that was wrong and the foreskin retracts on its own around age 10! I don't blame him for being uneducated about the care since it was once common place to get snipped in the us. But some countries consider peeling back a newborn's foreskin as child abuse I'm not saying it is, but if you do decide to leave a son intact it's best to leave the foreskin fused where it is to help prevent him from developing the UTIs and other infections that toddlers can get. 

Even people in some other countries are doing this, though.  It's not exclusively American.  My DH is from Europe, intact, and was horrified that I hadn't forcibly retracted my son's (from a previous marriage) foreskin.  Both his sisters did so to their sons.  I stood my ground, and my son's is retracting on its own just fine, thanks.  Without any pain or infections.  

Boonhilde

We circumcised our son and will do it again. We both did our research and decided it was worth it. 

VikingGirl12

I was fine either way. I'm from England and it's not the norm there, but DH is from US and was adamant about getting it done (not saying everyone in US gets it done, it's just more common here than in England). We are having a girl, but we'd do it again if it were a boy.

alysemci

Also about moms doing the taking care of as it heals thing- maybe it was just my experience but it wasn't much work, just a glob of Vaseline on a piece of gauze and that's that. Took an extra maybe 3-5 seconds. Was completely healed within a week. 

grache2016

Not going to find out what the gender is, but we have decided that we will circumcise if we have a boy. My step-son is not circumcised and we have had some issues, including infections. I'm in healthcare and have had patients with various issues related to not being circumcised. Because of my experience, we have decided to go for it.

heathersaysso

We aren't.  A couple of years ago I would have but there's too much research out there now explaining why it isn't needed and the potential harm it can cause.  I felt pretty strongly against it but left it to my husband because...  I don't have a penis, therefor I didn't feel qualified to make a decision about them (I wish the Supreme Court felt that way about uteruses) and he opted against it too.

BakerBird525

DH is not and I did not feel that strongly about it either way so I let DH make the final decision and he actually decided he wanted our son circumcised.

thycapa

DH and I both collectively decided after researching the topic and talking to the perspective pediatrician that our son will be circumcised. 

GinnyJ2012

Even though this baby is a girl I voted. We have two boys and both are circumcised. Neither had issues or cried during the procedure. Both were healed in less than a week. This is a personal decision that each parent/couple should make after research and discussion. 

egirl1025

My DH and I have decided to not have our LO circumcised.  When I told my husband that I told the doctor already he was surprised we didn't talk it over more.  I just knew the answer so why talk more.  My DH is not circumcised and has not experienced any negative repercussions.  Just doesn't seem necessary... Cleanliness seems to be key.

ashleyrobertson0113

My husband and I have decided we will not be circumcising our son for a few reasons...Mainly because it goes against our religious beliefs (as Christians we are told not to in the New Testament) and because we don't find it to be medically necessary.

My mother is totally freaking out over it. She brings it up at least once a week and tries to change my mind about it. Ive attempted explaining it from a medical standpoint. And from a religious standpoint. And from a personal standpoint. And all she seems to care about is the way it looks.... Personally I think all penises are ugly, intact or not. Haha... It's gotten to a point where I refuse to discuss it with her or anyone else. It's our decision as his parents. It, some day, he decides he wants it done, then it's his decision. But until/unless that happens, he will remain intact.  

princessandthegator

Not having a boy, but like @GinnyJ2012 I voted. It's personal, and definitely something you and your SO should decide together with some research and opinions from medical professionals. If this baby would've been a boy we would've circumcised without a doubt. I had an ex who was uncircumcised, had a lot of health issues, and eventually had the procedure as an adult and it was incredibly painful. Conversely, my nephew was circumcised in the hospital,was fine throughout the procedure, and healed within the week. 

MamaNicoleof3

I'm on the fence. The only "against" site I can find is intact America or something along those lines. Anyone have good resources? Both H and I are leaning towards not, but i don't know anything about caring for it intact, since we had our son circ'ed six years ago. It begins to retract on its own down the line?

edeibel89

Like a few other PPs, I pretty much let my husband decided and he wants to. I also looked up a few things and, like @huskerfanz said, found the benefits to outweigh the risks. I dated a guy who was not circumsized and he had a few issues, so I just feel better doing it. I don't feel like caring for it while it heals is going to be that big of an issue.

berky84

We haven't decided yet and keep going back and forth because we see the arguments for both. It's a very tricky question for us...

CopperLane

@MamaNicoleof3 I found this: https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/foreskin-care

i I also found a diagram at some point but don't have the time before work to do an extensive search. There's a sphincter at the end of the foreskin that allows pee to pass through.  When caring for an intact infant, you simply gently wipe it down. The website above mentions that premature separation of the foreskin can lead to infection, which is likely where we see all these issues in the US because many peds will separate the foreskin because they assume it should be done and that's how to keep the penis clean. 

MamaNicoleof3

@CopperLane- thanks so much!!

WinniethePoohsPants

Don't mind me, I'm just waiting for the drive by, "Circumcision is genital mutational!" troll to show up.


In all seriousness though, whatever you decide I'm sure your DS won't resent you for it. All men believe their business was crafted personally by the hands of God regardless of if they are snipped or unsnipped.

*I feel I should also add, my DS is intact and this LO will be so too. Do your research and decide with your SO what is best.

vulpini

We were on the fence with our first but ultimately decided not to for various reasons, including him being a preemie and going through a lot in his first couple weeks of life without throwing in another unncessary medical procedure.  My husband was also present for his nephew's bris and was asked to help hold down the baby for the procedure and he was pretty traumatized by that.  We won't be circumcizing this one either.  My SIL was kind of shocked because we're Jewish and she's very religious, but oh well.  We don't keep kosher, we drive and use electronics on Saturdays, and I don't take ritual dips in a mikva after every period, so we figured religion wasn't a good enough reason on it's own for us to circumcise and we had other stronger reasons not to.  

MAbride0808

Huskerfanz said:

We did in part because the American Academy of Pediatrics said benefits outweigh risks.  We will do it with these guys as well.

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/newborn-male-circumcision.aspx

This was our thought as well.  I mostly left it up to DH because I could either way and honestly don't feel I have the experience to speak strongly on this subject even after I researched.  (I also have the issue with male OBs who swear they know what labor is like because they have studied and assisted with it...nope sorry you don't know entirely).  DH is cut and feels that any benefits outweigh the risks.

vulpini

Also wanted to add that forcibly pulling back the forskin can cause scaring and nerve damage. It's best to leave it alone to retract on it's own closer to puberty and seek a doctor's advice if it doesn't at that point.  Caring for an uncercumcized baby boy just invilves wiping/washing in the extra little creases of skin and gently moving the skin back just far enough to get the tip of the penis clean so no poop sits at the opening of the eurethra.  No retracting to clean under the forskin necessary since it's attached and nothing is getting in there for years to come.

bankssl1

H and I have decided to circumcise. I guess I don't understand the arguement, it should be up to the DS in question. As a parent you are responsible for making these decisions for him, you are making all of his medical decisions because he obviously can't.. If he wants to do it later down the road it is MUCH more painful, they will not remember how painful it was because do you remember the second day you were alive? Of course it is the parents choice but the arguement that it is not your penis to decide is a little ridiculous IMO. Maybe I should put my flame suit on.. 

fishwife799

I refrained from answering last time this question was answered because it can usually get pretty nasty. But since we seem to handle thubg pretty well on this board I will answer this time. 

With our son I was leaning towards no but H was leaning towards yes.  I wasn't so strong in my beliefs that I wasn't willing to compromise so we discussed it and decided we would likely do it. Until we found out our insurance would not cover the procedure and it would cost $550 out of pocket for us to do it. So H decided that he wasn't so strong in his feeling either and we didn't do it  this von will not have it done either. 

CourtJack

bankssl1 said:

H and I have decided to circumcise. I guess I don't understand the arguement, it should be up to the DS in question. As a parent you are responsible for making these decisions for him, you are making all of his medical decisions because he obviously can't.. If he wants to do it later down the road it is MUCH more painful, they will not remember how painful it was because do you remember the second day you were alive? Of course it is the parents choice but the arguement that it is not your penis to decide is a little ridiculous IMO. Maybe I should put my flame suit on.. 

I think some people don't believe it to be a "medical decision" and therefore feel comfortable leaving it up to their son to decide when he is able to. I don't think that's ridiculous.

cowhorsegirl06

We researched it... After seeing photos and watching a video of how it's done, we are 100% NOT having it done.  I couldn't even get through the video and balled just listening to it. 

bankssl1

CourtJack said:

bankssl1 said:

H and I have decided to circumcise. I guess I don't understand the arguement, it should be up to the DS in question. As a parent you are responsible for making these decisions for him, you are making all of his medical decisions because he obviously can't.. If he wants to do it later down the road it is MUCH more painful, they will not remember how painful it was because do you remember the second day you were alive? Of course it is the parents choice but the arguement that it is not your penis to decide is a little ridiculous IMO. Maybe I should put my flame suit on.. 

I think some people don't believe it to be a "medical decision" and therefore feel comfortable leaving it up to their son to decide when he is able to. I don't think that's ridiculous.

Ok, lets say it isn't a medical decision then.. There are a million "non-medical decsions" we are going to have to make for our babies before they are able to, so why would this be any different? For example: breastfeeding vs formula, co-sleeping or crib sleeping, vaccinate or not.. We, as the parents, are responsible for making every decision in his life before he is physically able to. 

princessandthegator

WinniethePoohsPants said:

Don't mind me, I'm just waiting for the drive by, "Circumcision is genital mutational!" troll to show up.


In all seriousness though, whatever you decide I'm sure your DS won't resent you for it. All men believe their business was crafted personally by the hands of God regardless of if they are snipped or unsnipped.

*I feel I should also add, my DS is intact and this LO will be so too. Do your research and decide with your SO what is best

DAMN IT! I'm trapped in the box again! But I wanted to say me too...I keep checking this thread to see when the shots are fired but all of you ladies are so nice. It's fine, I'll go to the Baby shower board for my daily dose of snark. 

MamaNicoleof3

I'm pretty sure this is the most civilized group of women on TB. June '16 forevah!